Least Likely Of All
by fourandtwenty
Summary: Set in the Lily/James Hogwarts Era in the beginning, he's abusive and she can't let go. Who helps her? The Least Likely Of All... in more ways than one.
1. The Perfect Couple

snape1 **The Least Likely Of All :** Started, May 20th, ended July 31st, 2001. 100 chapters - don't let that fool you, they're short. I just like having a nice, even number to show off. I've rewritten this chapter, so it's a lot better than it was originally. Slowly, I'll be rewriting the rest as needed. There are **two endings **: 33-49, 50-100. 

**Rated R, **but that's more so towards the end. The first 59 chapters are **PG to PG-13**, but then it gets interesting... There are subjects touched on that should be addressed here: physical and sexual abuse, adultery (more than once with more than one partner, mind you), strong language (although I tend to dash it out), and a homosexual relationship between two men (but not until the 90's, so don't freak out just yet). The slash is absolutely nothing - just implied for the most part. 

**Pairings:** Like hell I'm giving those away! The story does, however, revolve around **Lily and her relationships...** But there are many different pairings between characters you wouldn't expect to even speak to each other, let alone date or marry. 

**Opinions**: SEEKER 2000 asked me to put her opinion up on the main page, and here it is: "This is **a very screwed up story**, but it will keep you turning the pages. No matter how messed up it is, it's worth the read BECAUSE it is so different and new." I agree with her, it IS a screwed up story, but not in the way of writing... There are a lot of plot twists, and even though I tried to give it a fairly decent plot, it ended up becoming a soap opera. Opps? This is **100% flipped** from most stories. I realize the male main characters are fairly OOC, but we really don't know what Lily, Severus, and James were like when they were younger. People tend to forget the bad about their dead loved ones, and only mention the good. Just keep that in mind when you read this... Anyway, onto the story.   
  
  
  


Lily Evans and James Potter, voted best couple of 1976 by all four houses. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, voted most popular group by three of the four Hogwarts houses. Lily Evans, voted prettiest 6th Year by all four of the houses. Sirius Black, voted most eligible bachelor of the Gryffindor house. Remus Lupin, voted most likely to become the next Minister of Magic. Severus Snape, voted most likely to become a Death Eater. 

To Severus, the thought was ridiculous, but to the rest of the school, it was inevitable. He showed all the traits; He was a first-class Slytherin, knew more hexes than the rest of the student body combined, and even slightly resembled what Lord Voldemort was rumored to have once looked like. With his long black hair and cold black eyes, he looked more menacing than any teacher ever did, even while threatening expulsion. 

However evil he looked, however much vice he was believed to take part of, however much chaos he seemed to have caused, he hated it. Not so much the fact his classmates seemed to ignore him, but the fact he had inherited the reputation to begin with. His father before him – a bastard in Severus' eyes – had done more than his share of wrongdoing within the walls of Hogwarts. 

He was constantly teased for his looks and heritage, something he eventually learned to ignore. It was his belief the school would have left him alone if it hadn't been for two boys; James Potter and Sirius Black. Ringleaders of a gang they had dubbed the Marauders, since day one they had tortured Severus. He didn't know what he had done to deserve their wrath, or if they simply thought it was great fun to torment people they thought lower than themselves. Either way, by their sixth year, after an incident where Sirius and James had nearly killed Severus, he had spent most of his time looking for things to get them back with – he was bent on paying them back dearly, not only for their pranks but for their utter inability to be human. 

He silently vowed to prove them all wrong, to show them that the five most popular people in the school were, in fact, only human. Severus hated school; the entire 6 years he had attended Hogwarts had been a joke. Top of his class, yes, but always right below James Potter. As much as he hated to admit it, he was jealous of James. Severus dreamed of having even a portion of James' popularity, a percentage of the respect James was given. He had everything, everything down to the girl. 

Lily Evans had never acknowledged his existence, as far as Severus was concerned. Of course, every once in a while a disgusted look or nasty comment was thrown his way, but he doubted she even knew his first name. She did, however, know his last; all she ever referred to him as was 'Snape'. 

James Potter and Lily Evans. They were the seemingly perfect couple to everyone accept the precious few who truly knew what went on. They were the most popular couple in Hogwarts, no one dared to question their relationship, convinced it would last forever. 

On one snow-filled evening in the middle of their sixth year, the four friends were gathered around the Gryffindor common room fire, swapping stories and pranks they had managed to pull off recently. Lily had come walking down the stairs from her dormitory, clothed in robes of rich green velvet she had recently bought at a store in Hogsmeade. Catching Remus' eye, she smiled as he winked, nodding his head slightly in his approval. Before she could take another step towards the four, James whirled around and gaped at her slightly, before smirking and shaking his head. 

"Green isn't your colour, Lily." James snapped at her, once again smirking. "You look like a trashy whore. Go put on some decent clothes." 

"I'm sorry." She sighed, glancing away from James and looking directly at Remus as she made her way back up the stairs. 

"You know, this would have been the perfect opportunity to compliment her." Remus commented, sighing inwardly at James' harsh words towards Lily. 

"Why though? Whenever you compliment a girl they get all giddy and never leave you alone." James shuddered as he started to read from Quidditch Through The Ages. 

"Five words my friend, five words." Sirius grinned, holding up a splayed hand showing four fingers and a thumb. 

"And which five words are those? 'I want you like candy'?" Peter Pettigrew smirked, adjusting his robes slightly so his potbelly was completely concealed. 

"No, stupid. 'To get in her pants'." Sirius grinned, punching James' shoulder. 

"Damn… Good point." James scowled slightly just as Lily came back down. 

"Sorry James." She apologized once more as she sat down next to him. 

"It's ok, baby… I'm sorry I was so harsh, you looked really good in those and I just didn't want to other guys seeing you like that." James nuzzled her neck and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as Sirius winked at him. 

"Oh, ok… Want to go upstairs and see it then? I really like it." Lily suggested, pointing up the wooden staircase that led to her dormitory. 

"Sure, let's go." James took Lily's hand and led her upstairs, briefly glancing back at his three friends, two of whom were trying desperately not to laugh. 

"Score one for Potter." Sirius high-fived Peter as Remus just glanced up towards the staircase James and Lily had disappeared up, sighing once more to himself. 

The next morning, Lily and James were late to breakfast, not to their friends' surprise. Severus, however, was disgusted at the scene unfolding in front of him, along with the rest of the Great Hall; James had wrapped his left arm around her shoulders once more, chaining her to his side. Even from a distance Severus could see the dark circles under her eyes and he could have sworn he saw her flinch as James brought his hand down to rub her upper arm in what looked like a comforting gesture. 

The Gryffindors and the Slytherins had Transfiguration together as the first class of the day, and Severus made it his first priority to find out what had happened. 

Throughout the class, Severus had tried to catch Lily's eye, but it was only towards the end of the hour that he was successful. He signaled to her the best he could to wait up for him, and after class, he ran to catch up to Lily, who was now waiting patiently. Severus was thankful that, for once, she wasn't surrounded by her usual group of friends. 

"What do you want, Snape?" she asked quietly, her eyes darting around as if she was afraid to be caught talking to a future Death Eater. 

"I just wanted to know if you were ok." Severus admitted. "You look tired and that bruise on your arm is probably turning a nasty shape of purple." 

"How do you know…?" Lily looked at him with questioning eyes, her right hand touching her upper left arm. 

"Observation." Severus shrugged, his eyes focused on a spot on the wall some five feet behind her. 

"Well… Thank you for asking, and yes, I'm ok. I'll live, anyway." Lily glanced behind her to see Remus coming. 

"Listen, if you ever want to talk… I know we're different and everything, but I can listen if you need someone." Severus said quietly, eyeing the approaching Remus suspiciously. 

"Thanks for the offer, Snape, maybe someday… I have to go though, I'll see you later." Lily departed as Remus stepped up to the two of them, and with a curious glance in Severus' direction, he quickly ran after her. 

"Lily! Wait up!" Remus called, finally catching up with Lily's long strides. "Why were you talking to that piece of Slytherin scum? He's really not stable enough for a girl of your structure to be conversing with." Remus murmured, touching Lily's shoulder. 

Lily flinched and shrugged Remus' hand off. He sighed, "You really can't let James do that." 

She shook her head, holding back tears of frustration, "Well, what else am I supposed to do? Stand up to him? I'm sure that'll help… Make him stop right then, that will." 

"I can try to talk to him if you'd like." Remus suggested, ignoring her sarcasm. "I'm his friend, he should listen to me." 

"Remus, thanks, but I'm his girlfriend… He claims he loves me, so why shouldn't he listen to me? Besides, if he even thinks I told you anything, I won't be able to move for a week." Lily sighed, "He's really a good man, he just doesn't know how to handle his anger. I'm the closest thing to him most of the time; therefore I usually end up being the target. It's not his fault, I really shouldn't make him so mad." 

Remus shook his head, "If that's what you want to believe, then believe it. I can't do anything, but talking to Snape sure as hell isn't going to help the situation." 

Lily sighed, "He seems… nice. It's not his fault he's like that, I guess." 

Remus grinned, "Lily, with you, nothing is ever anyone's fault." 

Lily smiled back, "One day that'll change… eventually."   



	2. As The Mermaid Sleeps

snape2 Chapter 2, second edition. Sorry it's so short, I editted it and it grew a bit... I also added the song at the bottom (even though it only fits in an idea sort of way). Enjoy.   
Lana   
  
  


Severus was walking through the corridors a few weeks later in the late evening with a blank look on his face when he heard a faint sob echoing through the halls. Curious as to what or who was making those sounds, he quietly made his way down towards the prefects' baths. As he came nearer, he saw Lily with her legs dangling out of the painting, head in hands. 

Before he could decide whether to approach her or not, Lily looked up and saw him. With a barely audible sigh, she sat up straight and beckoned him towards her. 

"Listen, Snape… Before you get the wrong idea about this all…" Lily sighed once more, "I'm fine, ok?" 

"No, you're not." Severus shook his head, "Remus and I both know you're not fine. Hopefully you're listening to him?" 

"Neither of you two are listening to me… I'm fine, really. I can handle him." Lily leaned back a bit, avoiding his gaze. 

Severus smirked, "The marks on your face are definitely telling me how well you're handling him, Lily." 

Lily got up silently and walked into the baths, waving her hand as an indicator towards Severus to follow her. He got up quickly and made his way through the portrait, his eyes widening with surprise at the room she led him into. 

Adorned with silver and gold, there was a large pool big enough to swim laps in. Surrounding the pool were golden taps, each showing off a different colored jewel. A blonde mermaid was sleeping on a rock in a painting on one of the walls, and white fluffy towels were pilled everywhere. 

"Snape, listen to me. If anyone finds out about this, and I mean ANYONE, I'll have your head on a platter." Lily hissed, sitting down on one side of the pool and dipping her bare feet in. 

"What a way to start a conversation…" Severus commented sarcastically, cautiously sitting down next to her. "Just tell me what's going on, and I swear I'll try my best to help you." 

Lily had stopped crying the moment she noticed Severus, but her eyes were still rimmed with red. Patting one with the back of her hand, she turned towards him. "Snape, you only know half of what he does. James is great, really, but he gets angry a lot. He's under so much stress with Quidditch and the House Cup… It just doesn't seem right refusing him or anything." With this, Lily's eyes focused back on the water. 

"You mean he…?" Severus' eyes widened with surprised as he leaned forward slightly, trying to get her to look back up at him. 

"It only hurt the first time." Lily whispered, her eyes now darting back and forth between the water and the wall, completely avoiding Severus' penetrating stare. 

"If you don't want to, he's not supposed to do that… It's not right." Severus said quietly, wanting desperately to comfort her, but not able to work up the nerve to touch her. 

"I know, but it's ok. It is 1976, after all. We're not our parent's generation, this kind of stuff is acceptable." Lily looked up at him once more. "I'm ok though, really. He's always been careful, or tried to be. No matter what he acts like, he does love me. He even told his friends that, and he rarely tells them what he feels." 

Severus sighed, "I have no idea what you're getting yourself in to, Lily, but like I said before, if you ever need someone to talk to… I'm here." 

Lily smiled and put her hand on his shoulder tentatively. "I know, and I promise if I ever need your help, I'll ask." 

Severus nodded then stood up, offering his hand to Lily, who took it gratefully. 

"You realize if James ever found out about this, we'd both be dead." Lily grinned. 

"And he'd have a life sentence in Azkaban, so it all works out in the end." Severus smiled back as they reached the painting once more. They both climbed out and started to head in opposite directions, when Lily called after him. 

"Severus!" His name didn't feel odd, as she had expected it to feel on her tongue, instead it felt right somehow. Severus spun around quickly, surprised at the sound of his first name passing through her lips. 

"Thanks again… It means a lot to me." Lily waved once more and spun around on her heel, walking as fast as she could away from him. 

"You're… welcome." Severus said quietly, watching her go. "You said my name… She said my name…" With that, he turned the corner and made his way back to the Slytherin common room, smiling all the way.   


  
**__**

**_Her name is Noelle_**   
**_I have a dream about her_**   
**_She rings my bell_**   
**_I got gym class in half an hour_**   
**_And oh how she rocks_**   
**_In keds and tube socks_**   
**_But she doesn't know who I am_**   
**_And she doesn't give a damn about me_****__**

**_'Cause i'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_**   
**_Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_**   
**_Listen to Iron Maiden baby, with me... _****__**

**_And her boyfriend's a dick_**   
**_He brings a gun to school_**   
**_And he'd simply kick_**   
**_My ass if he knew the truth_**   
**_He lives on my block and he drives an IROC_**   
**_But he doesn't know who I am_**   
**_And he doesn't give a damn about me_****__**

**_'Cause i'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_**   
**_Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby_**   
**_Listen to Iron Maiden baby, with me... _****__**

**_Oh yeah, Dirtbag_**   
**_No, She doesn't know what she's missing_**   
**_Oh yeah, Dirtbag_**   
**_No, She doesn't know what she's missing_****__**

**_Man I feel like mould_**   
**_It's prom night and I am lonely_**   
**_Lo and behold_**   
**_She's walking over to me_**   
**_This must be fake_**   
**_My lip starts to shake_**   
**_How does she know who I am?_**   
**_And Why does she give a damn about.._****__**

**_"I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby_**   
**_Come with me Friday_**   
**_Don't say maybe_**   
**_I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby, like you.."_****__**

**_Oh yeah, Dirtbag_**   
**_No, She doesn't know what she's missing_**   
**_Oh yeah, Dirtbag_**   
**_No, She doesn't know what she's missing...*_****__**

**_*Wheatus, Teenage Dirtbag_**


	3. Bittersweet Arrangement

snape3   
Hey all... This chapter contains a *bit* of the bad stuff, but there's no detail or anything, just emotions. Emotions and dialogue. Have fun and please feel free to review, tell me how much you hate James or my idea (my idea people, this isn't true, this isn't how JK Rowling planned it, so don't freak out and go "JAMES WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!". It's my plot, I can do whatever I want). Besides that, 'flames' as all you pretty people call them are welcome.   
Lana   


Lily lay awake that night, thinking about her conversation with Severus. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right; she had to at least try to stand up to James. It wasn't that he was bad; he was one of the most caring people she had ever met. Part of the problem was his friends, especially Sirius, who egged him on and called him a "sissy" if Lily even remotely tried to stand up to him. That, of course, led to more bruises. He never did it in front of everyone, only in his or her dormitories when no one else was there, and he always felt bad about it. He always tried to make it up to her, even if he had to miss practice or a class. He loved her; she knew that, he just didn't know how to show it. 

Severus Snape had always been the enemy. She was never allowed to talk to him, as that would have been a serious blow to her reputation and status. James never would have allowed the conversation that took place between them tonight to happen, never. He would have died rather than have his girlfriend talk to whom he considered the scum off the walls in Azkaban. 

She sighed and rolled over just as the door to the dormitory opened. Thinking it was one of her room mates, Lily didn't give it any thought, until her curtains were pulled back, revealing James. 

"Holy… James? What are you doing here?" Lily hugged her velvet blanket around her chest. 

He sat down beside her, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I know about your little escapade with Snape." 

Lily froze. "James… I- I-…" 

James raised his hand up, as to silence her. "Say no more, I understand." He slowly leaned down, so his face was directly above hers. "And I think you're brilliant for doing so." 

"B-B-Brilliant?" Lily stuttered, not having any idea of what he was talking about. 

"You seducing Snape? It's better than I could have ever come up with. That little Death Eater won't know what hit him… Make him fall in love with you, Lily. Make him want to die for you." 

Lily was now thoroughly confused. "Why though?" 

James looked surprised, "You should know, of course. Make him love you more than he's ever loved anyone in the world; I know you can. Then, as the year progresses, break his heart. Break his heart as hard as you can, because I know you can." 

Lily shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. "What are the conditions? His – slimy hands, touching me? Your girlfriend? What's the catch?" 

James smirked. "What ever you do, don't let him f-ck you. That's my job and my job alone." 

Lily nodded numbly. "Ok, will you tell me when to dump him?" 

James smiled and kissed her, "Of course. And if he starts to give you hell, tell me and I'll make sure he never lays a hand on you again." 

_How ironic,_ thought Lily, _You can abuse me, hit me, use me all you want, but you won't let anyone else touch me. How perfectly ironic._

"What about our relationship?" Lily asked, attempting to ignore James' roaming hands. 

"We'll stage a breakup – a big one – in the Great Hall tomorrow, at breakfast. Cry, cry hard, and I'll do the rest." Lily started to ask another question, anything to keep his mind off of his 'prize', but he silenced her with another kiss. 

The next morning, much to Lily's dismal, came much too quickly. Waking up with James beside her was turning out to be more than she could handle. Feeling as dirty as she ever had, she got out of bed quickly and turned on a shower to scalding. Unaware of the effects the hot water was having on her skin, she took a bar of soap and scrubbed as hard as she could. After a moment or two, she was aware of someone else coming into the 6th year's bathroom. Silently praying it wasn't whom she thought it was, she turned the temperature of the water down to a reasonable level and set the bar of soap down on the edge of the porcelain tub. Moments afterward, James peaked his head through the curtain, smiling at the sight. 

"James!" Lily scolded, jumping a little. "I could have been anyone!" 

James laughed as he took off his robe and stepped into the shower. An admiring look glazed over his face as his eyes scanned her body, still pink from where the water had hit her and where she had scrubbed so hard skin was starting to come off. 

"You're beautiful, you know that?" James wrapped his now wet arms around Lily and kissed her forehead. 

Lily couldn't respond; she merely shook her head and forced herself to kiss James back. 

_What's wrong with me? Twenty-Four hours ago, this was my life; this is what I looked forward to each day._

_Ahh, yes, but that was before you knew of any other kind of affection._ A tiny voice in the back of her mind responded. 

_Why, of all times…_ Lily audibly sighed, busying herself with James once more. 

As soon as the two finished, Lily changed into her school robes and accompanied James down to the Great Hall, where around two hundred students were sitting, enjoying their breakfast. With a feeling of anticipation, Lily talked with James as quietly as she could, in fear of someone overhearing her. James nodded, signaling he was ready to 'break up'. Lily nodded back, giving him a small smile before standing up in unison with him. Throwing up his hands in mocked frustration, James started. 

"Lily, how could you! Sneaking behind my back with that- that DEATH EATER!" James yelled as loud as he could. Quickly, the rest of the population ceased to make any noise, as to hear the Perfect Couple's feud. 

"If you had just tried a little bit harder, James… That was all I was asking for!" Lily yelled back as loud as she could. Very few people had ever heard her yell, including James. This stunned him more than anything, but he quickly recovered. 

"What didn't I give you? There was nothing that could have been improved upon, Lily, NOTHING. If you'd rather have your fun with SERVERUS SNAPE, of all people, then don't let me stop you. Go ahead, Lily Evans, have your fun." 

Lily forced a few tears to fall down her face as she started pacing around her chair. 

"If you hadn't been so arrogant, so idiotic, so ABUSIVE to me and my feelings, then this would have never happened, James. For once, just try to take in other's feelings for account, then you might be able to have someone love you. Just STOP being an arrogant, self centered asshole and I then I'll come back. But I guess I have nothing to worry about, do I James? Because you're NEVER going to change!" With these final words, he flashed her an approving look and then both of them stormed off in different directions. She heard Sirius and Peter try to go after him, but it took her a few moments to realize there were two sets of footsteps following her. 

Turning into the prefect's bathroom quickly, she slammed the painting behind her and sat underneath the mermaid, who was now awake and laughing at her teary face. 

Moments later, she heard the painting creak open and two voices holding a quiet but fierce argument. 

"Dammit Snape, you caused this, leave." 

"No, I didn't do anything, and I need to see if she's all right, Remus." 

Finally, after a minute of debate, both of the two boys came into the bathroom, both looking quiet flushed. 

"How did you two get in here?" Lily didn't dare meet Remus' or Severus' eyes, in fear that she would burst out laughing. 

"The Marauders are all knowing." Remus forced a smile as he sat down on one side of Lily. Severus hung back, and it wasn't until Lily invited him to sit down that he dared to make a move. 

"So… Is it true?" Remus asked, his eyes glancing from Lily to Severus back to Lily. 

Lily nodded meekly, giving Severus a "Don't say a word" look. She turned her attention back to Remus, whose mouth was now hanging open. 

"You and… Him? Wow. This didn't have anything to do with James hitting you, did it?" Remus asked quietly. 

Lily nodded, "He was the perfect boyfriend, except for that tiny fact." 

Severus smirked. "The bastard lost the best thing he'll ever have in his life; he deserved it." 

Remus, while silently agreeing with Severus, didn't say a word. 

"Sorry… I know you two are friends." 

"Were friends. Were." Remus corrected him, thinking of all the good hexes he was going to put on James whenever he saw him. 

"Remus… Don't let this get in the way of your friendship. I know how important they are to you." Lily silently acknowledged the fact he was a werewolf, and the Marauders were his closest friends. 

"I'm still going to give him hell for what he did to you." Remus said, gripping Lily's hand. "I promise, I'll try to… You know… next time." 

Lily nodded, smiling a bit. "Thanks Remus; thanks a whole lot. I really appreciate it… But could you leave Severus and I alone for a bit? We'll be right out, I promise." 

Remus glanced towards Severus, then nodded. "Fine, but if you're in here for more than 15 minutes, I'm coming in." He quickly and silently departed, closing the painting as he made his way out. 

Severus leaned against the wall, his eyes closed. He finally opened them and looked at Lily. 

"God, I'm so, so sorry… If I had known… I would have never…" Severus shook his head in apology. 

"It's not your fault, that was only the needle that broke the camel's back. There was so much more, don't blame yourself. Besides, I'm glad it's over with. The bruises I have now will heal in a few days, and then I'll never have to experience anything like that again." 

Lily surprised herself at how truthful she was sounding; how truthful she felt. Unable to tear her eyes away from Severus', she slowly drew closer and closer, until their lips were connected. 

For a moment, Lily expected him to back away; once he didn't, she tried to but also couldn't. His hands, at first very unsure and unsteady, quickly became accustomed to the back of her neck, and soon her arms. Although Severus was in fact older than her by a few months, up until that moment she saw him as a child. Now, however, she saw him as her equal, not as her superior as she had seen James. 

She had no idea how long their kiss lasted, but when it ended, she was breathing hard and silently begging for more. 

"Lily, I…" Severus started, and then seemed to change his mind. "This is wrong." 

Lily shook her head, "No, no, no. This is anything but wrong, Severus. Please, just trust me on this." 

"Lily, you just broke up with James. I don't want to be the rebound guy, ok? Lily, just listen to-" Before Severus could finish his sentence, Lily's lips were upon his once more. Melting in to the kiss, he pressed up against her, not wanting to ever stop. 

Minutes went by faster than time was ever intended to go. Soon afterwards, Remus was making his way back into the bathroom. He was so shocked by the scene that lay before him that his cheeks turned scarlet. 

"Lily… You… Oh God, you two. Get up, get up! Lily, you just broke up with James, give yourself some time to heal before jumping all over poor Snape here." Remus chuckled at the display in front of him now, two teenagers looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

"Remus, he's the reason I broke up with James. I don't feel any remorse for James, none at all, so just let this happen, ok?" Lily asked, mentally pleading with Remus to let the two be. 

Remus looked the two over for a minute, then nodded slowly. "Just don't do anything you'll regret later, Lil. And Severus – You lay one hand on her where she doesn't want it, I'll kill you." 

With those final comments, he left the room, silently wondering if he had made the right decision.   
  



	4. Surprise...

snape4   
Hey, new chapter.. Yay! Thank you all that reviewed my story, I've been sick and that really made my day. :o) You guys are great readers, you know that? Of course you do... There's a bit of a twist thrown in, so be prepared. Tell me what you think, if you want... It'll work in some how, I promise.   
Lana   
  
It was nearing 2 in the morning when Lily finally heard James' footsteps outside her dormitory. She had no idea where her roommates were, and she was thankful they weren't in the room with her. She heard James slowly open the door and make his way across the room, then pulling the curtains back to expose a wide grin on his face. 

"Remus told me you and Snape spent nearly an hour making out in the prefect's bathroom." James stated, sitting down next to her. 

"Mmhmm." Lily mumbled, playing with a silver ring of an Ankh on her thumb. 

"Good job." James leaned over and kissed her roughly. "I'm proud. On your first day and all." 

"I guess." Lily shrugged. "What happens if he proposes to me or insists I… with him?" 

"You tell the slimy bastard to go to hell." James said, "Why?" 

Lily shrugged, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. "Just in case he does." 

"Lil, if he respects you at all he won't ask you to do anything you don't want to do, and you're only 16. Trust me, the chances of him asking you to marry him are very, very slim." 

She shrugged once more, "It just seems like something a lovesick boy would do." 

He smirked and moved as close to her as possible. "You know, one of these days you're going to get a ring, and it'll be when you least expect it. Fate works in mysterious ways." 

"It'll be from you, I'm assuming?" 

"As long as I don't die between now and then, of course." 

Lily forced a smile, "Good, because I wouldn't accept one from anyone else." 

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and finally almost six months after Severus had asked Lily out for the first time, Lily's sister, Petunia, got married. Torn between whom to ask to go with her, Lily finally decided on Severus. After multiple bruises and a cut lip, James agreed it was for the best, to keep up appearances. Set for July 3rd, Lily arranged to meet with Severus the weekend before at her place. 

"Mum, Dad! Severus is here!" Lily yelled up the stairs as she opened the door. Standing there in perfectly placed Muggle clothing and a duffel bag was Severus. His straggly hair was combed back into a tight ponytail at the base of his neck. He was wearing a button down black shirt and a pair of jeans with normal tennis shoes. He smiled almost shyly at Lily as she opened the door, setting down his bag and wrapping his arms around her. Lily looked into his eyes for a moment and saw something she had never seen there before; within those black eyes was a flicker of light and a sense of warmth. Startled at this change of attitude, Lily grinned broadly and kissed him. 

"Lily, why don't you introduce us to Severus here?" Lily's Mum smiled politely, waiting at the foot of the stairs for Lily's father. 

"Mum, this is Severus Snape, my boyfriend. Severus, this is my Mum. My Dad should be down here shortly… DAD!" Lily yelled. 

When Lily introduced him as her boyfriend, a huge grin appeared on Severus' face. She had never called him that before to anyone except himself. The grin was quickly replaced with a look of fear as Lily's father came rumbling down the stairs. If he hadn't known Lily was Muggle born, he would have sworn her father was a half-giant. Standing at least six and a half feet tall and at least three feet wide with deep auburn hair, was Mr. Evans. The moment he saw Severus, his face broke out into a wide grin and he extended his right arm. 

"Severus! How good it is to finally meet you! The name's Robert Evans, I'm Lily's father." 

Severus took his hand with a sudden feeling of warmth for this man. They shook hands for a moment, then Mr. Evans let go and gave his daughter a stern look. 

"I'll have none of that boy-girl nonsense going on under my roof as long as I'm in the house, you know the rules Lil. As for you," he turned towards Severus once more, "Just make sure she's happy at all times, and then I'll hope to see you as part of this family one day." 

Lily turned scarlet at looked down at the floor, "Dad! I'm only 16." 

"Yes, and you're graduating next year. Any fellow is better then that James Potter, but I like this one especially." Mr. Evans winked at Severus, then took his wife's hand and guided her upstairs. Lily slowly turned towards Severus, an apologetic look on her face 

"Sorry about that… Dad gets a bit over excited sometimes." Lily shrugged, and then picked up his duffel. "I'll show you your room." 

Severus followed her up two sets of stairs toward into a hallway that had 8 doors, four on each side. Lily pointed to them as they went along. 

"This one's a bathroom, those three are guestrooms. This one leads up to the attic, this one's my room, and the one next to it is yours." She stopped at the last one on the right and turned the handle. The door opened up to a huge green room trimmed with white with a four poster bed in the middle and a desk, dresser, and walk in closet on the wall opposite a huge window that led out on to a balcony. 

"Second best guestroom in the house… My great-great-great-grandfather is currently occupying the best, sorry about that." 

"Are you kidding me? This room's perfect!" Severus exclaimed, his eyes wide. He quickly recovered and took his bag from Lily as realization set in. 

"Hold on… Was there three greats in that sentence?" Severus asked suspiciously. 

"Yes…" Lily drawled, walking over to the wall with the walk in closet. "If you go through here, there's a door on the other side that leads to my closet, which leads into my room." Lily opened both sets of doors to show him, "In case you get lonely." 

Severus nodded, "That's an interesting feature… Does your Mum and Dad know about that?" 

Lily shook her head, "Nope." 

"Convenient." Severus smiled, wrapping his arms around her. "Am I going to meet this great-great-great grandfather of yours?" 

Lily rolled her eyes, "You wanna meet him right now?" 

"Yes. I want to see a Muggle that old." Severus stated, releasing Lily and then following her out the room and down the hall to the first door on the right. Lily knocked three times on it, and a muffled voice instructed her to come in. 

Lily cracked open the door and stuck her head in, carefully shielding Severus from view. "Hi Papa, he's here." 

"Bring him in, bring him in." Severus heard, and Lily opened the door all the way, revealing her 130 year old great-great-great-grandfather. 

Severus' expression immediately changed from curiosity to shock as Lily brought him into the room. 

"Hello Severus, it's very nice to see you again." 

Severus quickly masked his surprise, then answered. 

"Hello Professor Dumbledore, it's great to see you again too."   



	5. Sleep To Dream

snape5   
Sorry this chapter's so short, but I'll post another one soon and hopefully one more by tonight. Have fun reading... To all of you that are against Lily/Snape, you might not like this chapter... There's no twists this time, sorry. Maybe next chapter. :o) Thanks to all that updated... I'm trying to take the majority of opinions and write around them.   
Lana 

Severus never asked Lily why she had kept her family history a secret, of which she was grateful for. In fear of being teased or accused of only being a prefect because of her relation to the Headmaster, she had never said a word about it. Her great-great-grandfather, Professor Dumbledore's son, had married a Muggle and had a daughter who ended up having no magical powers. Lily was the first witch in her family since her great-great-grandfather, which was why her parents were so proud when Lily got her acceptance letter to Hogwarts. 

Later that night, as Lily was climbing into her own navy and silver bed, she heard a knock from the inside of her closet. She got up and opened the door, grinning when she saw a very sheepish looking Severus. 

"Sorry," he shrugged. "I missed you." 

Lily smiled and guided him into her room. "You saw me a half an hour ago, how could you already miss me?" 

He smiled back and kissed her, "I guess you're just too missable to be away from for more than twenty minutes." 

Lily kissed him back quickly and went to lock her door. "You know, Mum and Dad left Papa in charge while they went over to Vernon's for the night." 

"And what exactly are you suggesting, Miss Evans?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Daddy said you had to make me happy." Lily kissed him once more, "And do you know what would make me happier than I've ever been?" 

"No, I don't know… what would make you happier than you've ever been?" 

"Lily took his hand and brought him over to her king-sized bed. She sat him down on the edge and slowly climbed into his lap, then kissed him as gently as she could. 

"You."   
  


The next morning, Lily awoke to feel another body against hers. For a fleeting moment, she thought it was James. It took her mind a minute to realize if was Severus, not James, lying next to her. 

She opened her eyes to see if he was still sleeping and was momentarily blinded by the light coming from her window. 

"Good morning sleepyhead." Severus greeted her. 

"Good morning… what time is it?" Lily asked before stretching for a minute. 

"A little before nine." He answered after checking his watch. 

"We have a full hour before anyone else is going to be up." Lily mumbled while rubbing her eyes. 

"Do you want to go back to sleep then?" he asked. 

Lily shook her head, "I actually… wanted to tell you something." 

"Yes?" 

"You have to promise to listen to everything I say though. If you only listen to the beginning, you'll miss the whole point, ok?" 

"I promise." 

"Don't freak either, just listen to it all." 

"Ok…" Severus answered slowly. 

Lily took a deep breath, then started. "The night when you first talked to me in the prefects' bathroom, James found out. But instead of blowing up like I expected him to, he came up with this… plan, I guess you could call it. I didn't want to go along with it, but he gave me no choice. He told me the next day he'd stage a break up with me. He knew you liked me, but what he didn't realize is that I liked you back equally as much. He told me that I had to make you love me, that I had to make you love me so much that when James told me to break up with you, you're try to kill yourself." Lily paused as she felt Severus tense up. 

"I swear, I was so happy when him and I broke up, even though it wasn't real. You're ten times the man – the boyfriend – he ever was and ever could be. When Remus followed you into the bathroom, I wanted to kick him out so badly, and when we kissed.. God, it was like I was finally free. I fell in love with you in a matter of days, but I knew James would kill either you or me if I ever told him I wanted to really break up with him… Especially to be with you." 

Lily smiled slightly as she felt Severus relax and pull her into a hug. 

"One of the conditions was that I couldn't ever, no matter how much I wanted to or how much you begged, sleep with you. I was supposed to drop you right then and there, but here we are… I'm so, so, sorry about not telling you from the beginning, but I was terrified you'd never want to see me again unless I proved to you I really do love you." Lily sighed, "Feel free to yell at me now." 

Severus pulled her even closer to him, then kissed her forehead. "Lily, I could never be mad at you… Even if you deserved it, which this time you don't. James is a total asshole, and if he ever tries to touch you again, I want you to yell at him hard, so that he'll be too surprised to hit you… Then I want you to come either directly to me or your Papa, and I know he and I will make sure James never touches you again, ok?" 

Lily smirked, "Me? Stand up to James? I'll try… But you know how hard I'm gonna get hit if I don't surprise him enough, right?" 

"If he hits you, I'll hit him ten times harder and make sure he gets expelled." 

"You promise?" 

"I promise."   



	6. Tell Him

snape6   
As I promise, the second chapter of the day... There's two tiny twists, no biggies. It's amazing what you can get done when there's no school.   
Lana 

  
Two months later, Lily and Severus boarded the Hogwarts Express together, much to James' surprise. Lily had been asked to take on the position as Head Girl, and unfortunately James was now Head Boy. As long as Severus was with Lily, James didn't dare come up to her. Still thinking Lily was playing along with his game, James decided it was best to leave the couple alone. 

"How was the rest of your summer?" Lily asked Severus as the two sat down in an empty compartment. 

"It was… terrible, I guess." Severus shrugged, looking down at his hands. 

"Why?" Lily asked gently, placing her hand on his shoulder. Severus shrugged it off, and then pulled up the sleeve on his left arm. 

"My father made me." 

Lily's eyes widened with surprise when she saw the Dark Mark burnt into his forearm. She instinctively started to move away from him, but she stopped herself. 

"You didn't want to…. Right?" 

Severus shook his head, "No. I fought him tooth and nail, until he threatened to kill me. My father… He would have done it too, had I given him the right reasons. My father insisted his Lord didn't call me during my stay at Hogwarts, as it is too dangerous, since I would be right under Professor Dumbledore's nose." 

Lily sighed. "You have to tell him… He can help you." 

Severus nodded, "I am. Once all the hype of the first few days of school dies down, I intend to." 

Lily nodded, "Good. He might even be able to take that thing off of you, if you want." 

Severus shook his head, "It's too risky. My father might notice it, or Voldemort might sense it. He is rather ugly, you know." 

Lily laughed in spite of herself, "Really?" 

"Yep, red skin, snake eyes… If he wasn't so ugly, he might just look intimidating." 

After they got off the train, Severus escorted Lily to the Great Hall, where the rest of the student population was sitting. The Feast went by without a hitch, James sitting three seats away from Lily. However, as the Gryffindor House slowly retired to their dormitories, Lily once again heard James creep into hers. He quietly lay down next to her, and then pushed her hair back behind her ear. 

"I know you're awake, Lily… talk to me." He whispered. 

"Sorry." Lily mumbled, turning towards him. "What's going on?" 

James looked displeased, "Explain to me why you didn't dump him over the summer, like I told you to." 

Lily rolled her eyes, "Shouldn't it be my decision?" 

"And why would it be your decision?" James mocked, sitting up. 

"Why wouldn't it be? It's my relationship, not yours." 

"And you're MY girlfriend, not that low life's!" James exclaimed. 

"He is NOT a low life, James. He's… he's a whole lot better than you ever were." Lily mumbled the last part, hoping it was so incoherent James wouldn't understand her. Unfortunately, he understood her perfectly, and the next moment she felt the stinging sensation of being slapped on her check. 

"You have your priorities mixed up, Lily. I'm your boyfriend, remember? Me? James Potter? I made you what you are; Head Girl, popular, loved by all. Get it straight." 

Lily felt five years worth of anger boil up inside her, and she finally mustered enough courage to speak. 

"No James, I'm the reason you're Head Boy. Without me, you wouldn't have passed half your classes. Without me, no one would think you and your little Marauder friends were funny. They'd see you as immature little children. But no, you were dating me; therefore you couldn't have been all that bad." Lily muttered through a clenched jaw. 

James clenched and unclenched his fists, his face turning red with rage. "How dare you ever speak to me like that! Severus Snape is warping your mind; first, all this ignoring me and second, now you're talking back. What gave you the right to do that to me?" 

Lily was now shaking with fear, but she held her ground. "Has it taken you this long to realize I'm a human too? I'm not some play thing you dump and discard after you're done, or beat when you're angry. For five years, I've let you get away with that, but I'm finished. If you're going to continue to treat me like this, I-" 

"You'll what, Lily? Break up with me?" James asked quietly. 

"Yes." Lily answered, trying to calm herself down. 

"If it'll make you feel better." James got up and looked down at her once more. "Go to Snape, tell him how almost every night for the past three school years you've slept with me. Tell him all about how I've had you for five years, and how I've loved you more than anything in this world for what feels like forever. If he means that much to you, fine, leave. Just remember Lil, I'm the only one you've ever been with. He's never going to have you like I had you, you might think he will, but I'm yours and you're mine forever. Just remember that, Lil." With that, he walked out of the room, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Lily sighed, tears silently running down her cheeks. 

It was over. It was finally over.   



	7. Confession

snape7   
I hope y'all like twists... Hey, just because Lily and James broke up for real doesn't mean the story's over... If you've read the books, you know what's going to happen... Question is, how? I know at least one of you guys are going to hate this, but it works, trust me...   
Lana   
  
Lily accompanied Severus up to Professor Dumbledore's office the next day after classes were over. As she knocked on the large wooden doors leading into his office, she gripped Severus' hand tightly as a sign of encouragement. 

"Come in." Professor Dumbledore replied, and Lily then opened the doors to reveal a large circular office crammed with stuff Severus had never seen before. 

"Hi Papa." Lily smiled, waving hello. 

"Well, good afternoon, Lily, good afternoon Severus. What brings you to my office?" 

Lily glanced over towards Severus, who had now taken his hand from her grip. 

"My father… had Lord Voldemort brand me over the summer," Severus announced, "Against my will." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded, "And you wish to have it removed?" 

Severus shook his head, "No, as it is too risky. My father had it arranged that Voldemort would not call me during my stay here, as he is convinced it would be too risky, since you're here and all." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded, understanding. "What do you wish to do?" 

Severus glanced towards Lily, then back to his hands. "I'm not all that sure how many men you have in Lord Voldemort's inner circle, but I'm sure once I graduate I could provide information for you." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded slowly, "Yes, that would be quite nice. Are you ready and do you understand the personal risk?" 

"I understand that there are worse punishments than death, and having to live with myself knowing I was a factor in killing all those innocent people… To me, that's a fate worse than death. However, knowing that somehow I was helping you save others, that would make it all bearable, or as bearable as it possible could be under the circumstances." 

"Then I shall instruct you in what information is needed once the end of the school year draws closer; for now, relax and enjoy your last year here, for it will fly by." 

Severus nodded, "Thank you Professor." 

"No, no, thank you Mr. Snape. It's been a pleasure." 

Severus got up to leave and started to wait for Lily when she held up her hand. 

"I need to talk to Papa about something… I'll be right there." With that, Severus nodded once more and left the door, closing the large wooden doors behind him. 

"What is it, dear?" Professor Dumbledore was now leaning forward a bit, curious as to what Lily had to tell him. 

"I'm 17, right?" It was more of a statement than a question. "I'm assuming you knew about the relationship I had with James Potter." 

"Yes, and I also witnessed your breakup along with the rest of the school." 

"There's something you don't know… Very few people know…" 

"Yes?" 

Lily breathed in deeply. "Papa, don't get mad, but he hit me – a lot – and I let him get away with it." 

Professor Dumbledore sighed and looked down at his hands. "Why didn't you alert me of this sooner?" 

"Because I knew exactly what you would have done; expel him." 

"And what makes you think I won't do that now?" 

"We broke up eight months ago. It wouldn't be worth it, especially such a gifted student." 

"Lily, you're my family; Everything is worth it when it comes to you." 

Lily sighed once more, "That wasn't what I had to tell you, although it is part of it, I guess. He also… well… sexually abused me, countless times. I was just too stupid to realize I was being used. He loved me, he still does, but he just didn't know how to show it." 

When Lily said that, a glass next to Professor Dumbledore's right arm blew up with a loud bang. He shook his head and apologized. 

"Lily, why didn't you tell me this earlier?" 

"You know exactly why." 

"Fear, of course… Never mind, I'll have a talk with him before I do anything drastic. Go on child, go on." 

Lily paused for a moment, "Papa, whatever you do, don't expel him. He deserves it, yes, but the Potters are a respectable wizarding family; I don't want to be responsible for having the name tarnished." 

Dumbledore slowly nodded, not saying a word. 

"Papa, I'm 17… I'm legal, right?" 

He nodded once more, looking up at her now. 

Lily took in a deep breath. "God, this is so hard… You must promise not to judge me or anyone else." 

Dumbledore looked at her strangely, "You're asking a lot of me tonight, against my better judgment. I can't promise I won't judge any parties involved, but I can promise I will not act upon those judgments." 

"Fine… I'm pregnant." 

There was a pause that seemed to last for eternity. Finally mustering up the courage to speak, Lily rested her hand on her grandfather's. 

"It's Severus'… No, he doesn't know yet. No one does, I wasn't even sure until last week." 

He lifted his idle hand to wipe a tear away that was making its was down his wrinkled cheek. 

"What are you planning to do?" 

Lily shrugged, "All I ask of you is to make sure it'll be ok… I want to make sure three years of abuse isn't going to screw up it's chances." 

"When are you telling Severus?" 

"As soon as I leave the room, assuming he's not listening right now." 

"We would have heard him faint, and I didn't hear any noise, so I'm assuming he's not listening." 

"Could you…?" 

Professor Dumbledore shook his head, "Normally, this would be Madame Pomfry's job, but under the circumstances…" 

Lily walked over to the other side of his desk and put his left hand on her stomach. After a moment of silence, Dumbledore nodded. 

"Assuming you're in good health, in seven months you'll have a baby girl." 

Lily's face broke out into a huge grin, "Wow." She went back to her seat and sat down once again, a look of awe on her face. 

"Now it's your turn to promise me something; If you ever need help with anything, come to me immediately. Don't rely on your instincts, don't trust anyone else, just come to me. Also, if James ever lays a hand on you again, I want to know. If Severus is unfaithful, tell me and I'll take care of him. He has the makings of a very good wizard; he just needs a little direction. I believe, my dear, you could be that direction." 

Lily nodded, "I promise." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded, then grinned. "Do you know what this means?" 

Lily shook her head, "No, what?" 

"I'm going to be a great-great-great-great-grandfather!" 

Lily laughed a bit, then gave him a hug. "It's hard to believe, eh?" 

"Yes, it is. If you ever need anyone to talk to, just remember, I'm not allowed to 'break up' with you." 

Lily grinned once more and nodded, "Good, then I guess the next hurdle is telling Severus." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Good luck." 

"Thanks… I'll need it."   
  



	8. Needless To Say

snape8 So, is Snape gonna love the idea or hate it? And what it James' reaction? Hmm...   
Lana   


Severus was waiting patiently for Lily near the entrance to Professor Dumbledore's office when Lily burst out of the wall with a smile as big as Severus had ever seen. 

"Hey Lil, what're you smiling about?" Severus grinned in spite of himself, then wrapped his arms around her shoulder. 

"Promise not to be mad?" Lily asked, looking up at him. 

"Since you're smiling, it can't be all that bad." 

Lily shrugged, "Depends on your perspective." 

Severus nodded, "I promise I'll try to be as happy as you are." 

"You sure?" 

Severus nearly burst from anticipation, "Yes! I'll be as happy or happier than you are, I promise!" 

Lily shook her head, "You can't promise that on something like this." 

"Spit it out Lil." 

"Promise not to be mad?" 

"I promise! Stop teasing me, Lil." 

"You can't be mad." 

"I won't be." 

"Yes you will. What's the best possible thing that could happen to you right now?" 

"Passing all my classes." 

"With me, I mean." 

Severus thought for a moment. "Starting a life together, I guess." 

"What's the worst?" 

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" 

Lily laughed, "Of course not! Why would I do something like that?" 

He shrugged, "As from what you're telling me, it could be anything." 

She shook her head, "Just remember, you promised not to be mad." 

"Like I said, I could never be mad at you." 

Lily nodded, "Ok, you remember the week you spent at my house for Petunia's wedding?" 

"How could I forget? It was the best week of my life." 

Lily noddedonce more, "Of course, you remember what we did…" 

"Seven nights in a row." 

"Yes, that. Anyway…" 

"Lily, you're not pregnant, are you?" 

"Would you be mad if I said I was?" 

"You mean…?" Severus' eyes widened. "My God, Lil! That's great news!" He took her in his arms and swung her around. 

Lily kissed him, her grin still not fading. "You mean you're not mad?" 

"Of course not! Lil, we're both 17, I can easily get a job somewhere and get a house for the two of us in Hogsmeade or someplace, wherever you want to go." 

Lily shook her head, "I'm sure Dad'll be ok with you staying with us during the summer while we set things up… I'm due in April, so I'm not too sure how we're going to do this. Papa might let us stay in a private room, if that's ok with you. I'd understand if you wanted to stay in your dorm with your friends." 

Severus smirked, "Those people? My friends? Mere acquaintances, nothing more." 

Lily nodded. "It's a girl, by the way." 

"We're going to have a daughter?" Severus exclaimed. 

"Yes, a daughter. I asked Papa, and he said that even though James did all of that… stuff, I'm perfectly fine. He also told me it was a girl." 

"Wow… we're going to have a daughter." Severus whispered, as if he was in a daze. 

"Amazing, isn't it?" 

"I'll say."   
  


Back in the Gryffindor common room, James was surrounded by his three friends. He had been in a slight daze for nearly twenty-four hours, and they were determined to get to the bottom of it. 

"You know that saying, 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone'?" James asked out of the blue. 

"Yeah, why?" Sirius answered, gazing into the fire. 

"It's true… Way too true." James mumbled once more. 

Remus turned towards James, a curious expression on his face. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Lily and Snape, would it?" 

James smirked, "Of course it does. Did you know we never really broke up? It was all staged." 

Remus looked only mildly surprised, "And why did you two stage it?" 

"To make Snape's life hell. We all know he liked her back then, and Lily was the perfect pawn to get back at Snape. Make him fall for her – hard – and then have her break up with him. Hurt him so much he wanted to die." 

Sirius looked confused, "So you two are still going out?" 

James shook his head, "No, she broke up with me last night. She broke up with ME for that slimy bastard Snape!" 

Remus shook his head, "You did deserve it." 

James turned towards him, a furious look on his face. "What did I ever do to her?" 

"I couldn't touch her without having her wince. You hit her so hard, so often, she had permanent bruises for three years straight." Remus commented. 

"Not to mention we all knew what you two did on a nightly basis. The first year we met her, she was all about chastity. People don't change over night James, it's obvious you forced her at some time or another." Sirius added on. James finally turned towards Peter. 

"You don't think I deserved it, do you?" 

Peter merely shrugged, much to James' rage. 

"God damn it… I loved her, you know I did… I still do… why the hell did she have to leave me? Why couldn't she have just told me she was unhappy? You know I would have tried my best to change." 

"She was terrified of you." Remus said casually. 

"What do you mean, 'terrified'?" 

Sirius scoffed, "Please tell me you're not that big of a dunderhead. You hit someone, chances are they're gonna be scared of you." 

James rested his head in his hands for a few minutes, thinking. He finally looked up, his tired expression not changing. 

"So how would one go about getting her back?" 

Remus laughed, "You honestly think that after all that, she's going to take you back? It'll take a miracle, and you don't have a miracle." 

Just as Remus said this, the portrait door opened to reveal a giddy looking Lily. James immediately stood up, determined to make up with her. He walked over to her quickly, looking her straight in the eye. 

"Lily, can we talk?" 

She looked up at him cautiously, considering his proposal for a moment. Finally, she nodded and allowed him to guide her up to his empty dorm. 

"Lily, I'm sorry about everything I did. I know that's not going to even remotely start to make up for it, but I just wanted you to know, if I could take it all back, I would." 

Lily looked up towards him, regret showing in her eyes. "James, did you ever love me? Honestly? Don't give me any bull, I can tell." 

James nodded fervently, reaching out to touch her arm. "Yes, I did and still do. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you… I'm so, so, so sorry about everything that's happened, and if I could turn back time, I would. I'm sorry I hurt you; I never realized how much I was hurting you. I can't give you a reason, but I can guarantee you it wasn't your fault, it was mine." 

Lily sighed, turning away from him for a moment, then turning back to face him. "James, I'm pregnant." 

He was rendered speechless for a minute, then finally managed to sputter out a few words. 

"How… How far along?" 

"Two months. Do the math." 

James was silent for a few more seconds as he quickly counted backwards in his head. Realization finally hit and his expression quickly turned to anger. 

"That BASTARD! I told you not to f-ck him!" James yelled, starting to pace. "You and Snape… My God… that's unbelievable… Here I was, thinking that maybe we could work things out. God, I'm such an idiot." 

"No you're not. He loves me; he's willing to take care of this child… He has no regrets, he's happy for me. I just wish you could do the same." 

"Was it worth it? Fifteen minutes of fun leading to a lifetime of expectations?" 

"Yes, it was." Lily crossed her arms. "If it was your child, which I'm positive it's not, you'd beat it out of me, I know you would. Maybe not now, if you were being honest, but before… You would have." 

James looked shocked, "You think I'm that much of a monster? Is that what I am to you now? I've become so horrible you believe I would have killed a child we made, if it came to that? It that honestly what you think?" 

Lily shook her head, "I don't know what to think anymore! I just want to know you're ok… I want you as a friend, if we can't be anything more. I'm with Severus now, nothing's going to change that. I just want to know that you'll be there if I need someone to talk to; a friend, if anything. Please James, I need you." 

He sighed, considering it for a moment. "As much as I love you and always will, I don't think I could stand just being friends. I'll try, but it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You understand that, right?" 

Lily smiled, nodding. "Thank you James." 

"You owe me, big."   



	9. Assurances

snape9   
Sorry this is so short... I have the next chapter all written out, so that should be up in a few.   
Lana   


Severus went back to his dormitory with mixed emotions. Knowing he had to be strong for Lily, he brushed them aside with little difficulty. He sat down on his bed, resting his head in his hands. After a moment, he took out a spare piece of parchment and began to write. 

_Dear Father,_

_ How is my Lord, Lord Voldemort? Has he begun any planning for me after I have graduated from Hogwarts? I have made sure no one knows of my allegiance to Him, as I would be expelled for sure._

Severus sucked on his quill for a moment, a wave of guilt washing over him for lying to his own father, no matter what it was about. He sighed and then continued with his letter. 

_ I have good news; Perhaps not to you, but to me it is good. My girlfriend, Lily Evans, revealed she is going to have my daughter in April. I know you would disapprove, as she is part Muggle, but she does have strong wizarding blood running through her veins. I am not at liberty to say which wizarding family, but I can assure you she has much potential._

_ I wish to tell you I am planning on proposing; As we are so young, I have decided to wait until we have both graduated. I am not sure if I will return home this summer, but I will join His inner circle as you wish. Keep me informed._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Severus_

Severus put his quill down, his hand trembling slightly. He knew his father would be furious, not so much as that Lily was pregnant, but that she was part Muggle. The Snape line was as pureblood as any; having a part Muggle Snape was a blemish on the line, but as his child was going to be a girl, when she married her last name would no longer be Snape. Hoping his father would see it his way, Severus quickly sent the letter with his eagle owl Boaz. Lying down in his bed, he quickly fell asleep, not bothering to change out of his school robes. 

Severus never told Lily about the letter he sent to his father, in fear of her thinking he was in any way in contact with the Death Eaters. His mark still burned from time to time – Severus knew it was Lord Voldemort Calling the other Death Eaters, but as he had yet to learn how to Apparate, he was unable to answer. He and Professor Dumbledore held regular meetings together, sometimes with Lily as to speak about his daughter, sometimes alone to speak about his tasks as a spy. Each time he met with Dumbledore to speak about his spying, he was constantly reminded of the risks. Severus knew he could die, and Professor Dumbledore made sure he was still willing with the knowledge of being a father. Severus stood his ground, however, and continued to assure Dumbledore he would take the risk, no matter how great. 

"You know, this whole baby thing's gonna be really cool." Lily commented one October afternoon as she and Severus sat next to the lake, watching a few second years chase around an enchanted ball. 

"Of course it will be… It's exciting, but I have to admit, it's also a bit scary." 

Lily nodded, agreeing with Severus. "It kinda makes me wonder how we're going to handle it all. Once she's born, you're moving into the room with me, right?" 

"As long as your grandfather doesn't disapprove too badly." 

"He won't… He understands. He's really excited, actually." Lily smiled, lying down on the grass. 

"Secretly, he probably hates me." Severus commented, lying down next to her. 

"What makes you say that? He adores you!" Lily exclaimed. 

"I just get a funny feeling around him, that's all." Severus shrugged. 

"That's just paranoia, hun." She replied. A moment later, she took his left hand and placed it on her stomach. "There's a baby right there, Serv. You and I put it there. Papa knows that, and he understands. He's happy for us, even though we're a bit young. Nothing's going to change that, so don't worry. Nobody's mad at you, except maybe James, but when in the past seven years has that changed?" 

Severus chuckled, stroking her stomach. "Never…" 

"You have nothing to worry about. We're gonna be one big happy family, you're a great wizard, and our daughter's going to be the best baby in the world." 

"She's only going to be a baby for about a year, Lil." 

"So? There's always more." 

"More?" 

"I want to have as many babies as possible… I don't care what it does to my body, just as long as there's little babies around me." 

"You're crazy Lil." 

"But you love me." 

"Of course." Severus smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "And nothing's ever going to change that." 

"I should hope not!" Lily exclaimed, laughing. 

"No matter what happens, I'm gonna be with you forever, and don't you ever forget that." Severus murmured, kissing her forehead. 

"And I'm going to hold you to that, mister." 

"You'd better."   



	10. Lost And Found

snape10 I'm not saying a word.   
Lana   


James Potter kept his word with Lily; he never pressured her to leave Severus, and he spoke with her often with words of encouragement. Lily was now showing, two months after she told Severus, but fortunately her robes still hid the bulge. 

It was decided Lily would, once unable to attend her classes, be moved to a private room between the Gryffindor and Slytherin towers and would receive her lessons from James, Remus, and Severus. 

James, Remus, Sirius, Severus, and Lily decided to stay for Christmas holiday, along with 5 other students. Peter insisted he had to go home to take care of some business that awaited him, but Severus knew the truth. The Pettigrews were in Voldemort's inner circle, and Severus had once glimpsed the edge of the Dark Mark burned into Peter's arm. Unsure if he was to tell Dumbledore or Lily, he kept quiet, not wanting to jeopardize his and Dumbledore's plans. 

The weekend before the holiday was a Hogsmeade weekend, mainly for gift shopping. Determined to get Lily a great gift, Severus accompanied her with her own shopping, mainly for the baby. Lily abhorred pink, so the two had decided purple and yellow would be more favoring colors. Lily's family still didn't know, as she was planning on telling them after the baby was born. 

"Severus, I'm gonna go into Myrtle's Mayhem for a while, ok?" Lily asked, pointing to a store that sold all kinds of clothing. 

"Sure… I'll meet you at Three Broomsticks in an hour, is that enough time?" Severus replied, happy to have some time to look for Lily's gift alone. 

"3 o'clock then?" Lily looked at her watch. 

"Guess so." Severus nodded goodbye and made his way over to the nearest gift store. He looked at various trinkets, finally settling on a crystal figurine of a dragon with diamonds for eyes that like most things in the world of magic, moved, along with a bouquet of ever-lasting lilies. Checking his watch, Severus purchased the items and made his way over to the Hogsmeade pub with 3 minutes to spare. 

He was unable to find Lily and assumed she was running late, so he sat down in an empty table and waited for nearly an hour. Finally, riddled with worry, he left the pub and went looking for her in various stores. After checking all the ones he knew she'd be in, he finally gave up and went back to Hogwarts, thinking she might have been so late she decided to go back. 

After asking a Gryffindor sixth year to see if she was in her dorm, he paced up and down in front of the picture of the Fat Lady. After five minutes, the sixth year came back and told him even though James, Sirius, and Remus were in the common room, Lily was not, nor was she in her dorm. Severus then ran up to Dumbledore's office, finding him there alone. 

"Professor… I can't find Lily… She was in Hogsmeade, and she left for an hour and we were supposed to meet, but she wasn't there. I waited for her for over an hour, and I've looked all over, but I can't find her." 

Professor Dumbledore stood up immediately, then walked over to Severus. "Are you sure you've checked everywhere?" 

"Yes, and I can't find her." 

Dumbledore started pacing a bit, finally looking back at Severus. "I'm going to Hogsmeade to look for her. I want you to search the castle; get James Potter, Sirius Black, or Remus Lupin to help you. You'll understand why, just tell them to use the map. Meet me back here in two hours time." Severus nodded and walked out of the office with Dumbledore, then down to the picture of the Fat Lady once more. Saying the password, she swung the door open and Severus could see Remus sitting on one of the couches. 

"Remus!" he yelled, "I need to talk to you." 

Remus walked over to the door and climbed out, then closed the painting. 

"What do you need? Is Lily ok?" 

Severus shook his head, "We don't know where she is. I went to Dumbledore and he told me to get one of you guys and have you help me look for her in the castle. He told me to tell you to use the map." 

Remus nodded, obviously understanding his directions. "Just a moment." He then disappeared back into the common room and came back a moment later with a map of Hogwarts. Once Severus took a better look, he jumped. 

"The dots… They're moving!" 

Remus nodded, "We made it back in second year. It's enchanted, the little dots are people. If anything can find Lily, this can." 

Severus nodded, examining the map. "She's not on this floor." 

Remus agreed, "We should start from the top and work our way down, that way if she comes into the castle while we're searching, she'll show up on the map regardless of when or where she is."   
  
The two searched for the full two hours, walking around each floor, keeping an eye on the map at all times. Once they had searched the first floor, both Severus and Remus were silently praying she was ok. 

Severus met Dumbledore precisely two hours after he had left, to find Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher, there instead of him. 

"Professor?" Severus questioned. 

"We found Lily, Severus. Professor Dumbledore is in the process of brining her back right now. However, she was unconscious and still is, so we're not sure if anything has happened." 

Severus' eyes widened, "But- she's ok? Right?" 

Professor McGonagall merely shrugged, "We can't be sure until Madame Pomfrey checks her out, so I would recommend you either go back to the Slytherin tower or come down with me to the hospital wing." 

Severus nodded, following her out of the office and down a few floors to the hospital wing, where Professor Dumbledore was standing patiently. 

"Severus, come in…" he numbly followed Dumbledore into the ward where Lily was, still unconscious. 

Severus looked around for a moment, taking in the brightness of the wing. Everything was white; your typical hospital room. He cringed as his eyes came across Lily, lying between stiff white sheets, her mouth slightly open. 

"Is she going to be ok?" Severus asked, "Is the baby ok?" 

Professor Dumbledore wiped his red rimmed eyes, not daring to meet the boy's stare. "I found her about a quarter of a mile outside of the village, sprawled out under a tree. I thought for a moment she was sleeping, but her eyes were slightly open. Madame Pomfrey checked… Severus, I'm sorry. She lost the baby."   



	11. Bloody Hysteria

snape11 This chapter took me four hours to write... Not because it's long or I can't type (I can type almost 80 words a minute), it's because I hadn't planned it ahead of time. It confirms a lot of your suspicions. Happy Reading.   
Lana   


Severus couldn't remember the last time he cried; he was convinced that until the moment Dumbledore told him Lily had lost the baby, he had never cried; at least not like that. He was unable to stop the constant flow of tears running down his cheeks, even hours after he was told. 

Severus sat with Lily long after the others had left. Madame Pomfrey tried to kick him out multiple times, but he refused to move. Professor Dumbledore finally gave him permission to sit with Lily as long as he needed, and told him he was excused from his classes for the next day. 

Lily hadn't suffered a miscarriage; no one was quite sure what had happened, but Madame Pomfrey was positive it had been a form of magic. Lily's stomach was perfectly flat; there was no way a miscarriage could have taken place. As much as Severus wished James were capable of that powerful of magic so he'd have someone to blame, he quickly dismissed the idea, knowing James wouldn't do something as bad as that, even to Lily. 

She awoke around 7 AM the next morning with a scream of terror. Severus had drifted off to sleep, but immediately rushed to her side when he heard her. 

"Lily, baby, shh, it's ok… Madame Pomfrey's coming, shh…" Severus whispered, looking up to see the Hogwarts nurse come bustling up. 

"Severus, go get Professor Dumbledore, he wanted to know when she was awake." Madame Pomfrey instructed. Severus gave one longing glance towards Lily before rushing out of the ward to get Dumbledore. 

Madame Pomfrey busied herself with trying to calm Lily down, as she was now bawling loudly. Five minutes later, Severus and Dumbledore arrived, and Dumbledore immediately went over to Lily's bedside to try and help Madame Pomfrey. 

"Severus, come here… She might listen to you." Professor Dumbledore instructed, waving his hand. Severus made his way over to her and gently took her hand, trying to will her to calm down. At his touch, she seemed to slow down a bit, and finally after a moment or two, she was crying softly. 

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so, so sorry…" she mumbled beneath her cries. 

"Lily, honey… Listen to me… Whatever they did to you, it's not your fault. Calm down, you have to tell us the whole story." Professor Dumbledore murmured, brushing a few stray hairs away from here cheek. 

"I can't… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" Lily was still hysterical, shaking her head back and forth. 

"Lily baby, please… I'm here, we're all here… You need to talk to us, just calm down, please…" Severus begged, gripping her hand tighter. 

Once again, Lily seemed to calm down at the sound of his voice. She turned to face him for the first time since she had woken up, and a fresh wave of tears overcame her. 

"It hurt so much… He – he took her from me, it hurt… I felt so bad… It still hurts…" Lily sobbed, resting her free hand on her stomach. 

"Who took her, Lil? Who did this?" Severus said softly, his red-rimmed eyes now threatening to overflow once more. 

"He.. he came up to me and forced me to go with him… He threw me to the ground and did some sort of spell… and then I felt her being ripped out of me… I heard screaming… And then I blacked out… It hurts… God, it hurts…" 

"Lily, this is important. Who did this?" Dumbledore wiped her forehead with a damp cloth Madame Pomfrey had provided. 

"Voldemort… He went and killed my baby…" Lily started crying harder. 

Severus' eyes widened. "Voldemort? You don't think he knew and is trying to get back at me?" 

Dumbledore shook his head, "Everything that goes on in Hogwarts stays in Hogwarts. He wouldn't have known. Your father – He is a Death Eater, correct?" 

Severus nodded, "He is in Voldemort's inner circle." 

"Did you tell him?" 

"Yes." 

Professor Dumbledore shook his head, "Write a letter to your father, act as if he is the one that did it. Send it, and the moment you receive an answer, bring it to me." 

Severus nodded, "Yes sir." 

Madame Pomfrey then came into the room with a thick, steaming liquid. "Here, have her drink this; it'll give her a dreamless sleep." She then poured the liquid down Lily's throat, and within a matter of seconds, she ceased to cry and her eyes closed. 

Dumbledore sighed, then sat on the bed next to hers. "This just gives me one more reason to want to kill that son of a bitch. Tom Riddle – a great student, Head Boy in fact. However, he is now the reason Lily is suffering." He turned to Severus. "Are you still willing?" 

Severus nodded vigorously, "I am more willing than I was yesterday, and I promise you, Lord Voldemort will be defeated." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Good, good… Now go write that letter, and remember, come to me the moment you receive a reply." 

Severus nodded, and with one last glance towards Lily's sleeping form, he went up to the Slytherin Tower and up to his dormitory, where Lucius Malfoy was sleeping. 

Severus quietly got out a piece of parchment, and with quivering hands, he started to write. 

I>Dear Father, 

Why did my Lord, Lord Voldemort, insist on taking my child away from me? I wish to know why, for he nearly killed the child's mother in the process. Is it because she is Muggle born? Is it because we are so young, or is it because I told you I wasn't coming back home for the summer? I must have an answer, father, I must know why you chose this destiny for me. I shall be joining the Death Eaters in less than seven months, and I must know why my Lord chose this path for me. 

As I said before, she is the kin of one of the greatest wizarding families of our time. If you think it matters and wish for me to tell you, then I will. Please Father, tell me why this is now my destiny. 

Severus/I> 

He spent all day and all night in the hospital wing with Lily, only getting up to eat breakfast and await for his father's letter. Surprisingly, the very next day he received one, and before reading it he went directly to Dumbledore, who was now by Lily's bedside. 

"Professor, he has written back." Severus announced breathlessly, handing Dumbledore the letter. 

Dumbledore opened it carefully and began to read out loud, pausing every now and then. 

"Dear Severus, 

Your Lord wished for you to be strong; he believed having a family to support, especially an infant child, was too much for you to handle at such a young age. Instead of watching one of his followers, especially one with so much potential, become weak, he had decided to make sure your loyalty would not falter. He took the necessary precautions, and he was merciful enough to spare the woman. Be grateful she is still with you. Our Lord took pity on you, Severus. All he took was a baby that was not yet born; She had no value, she was still inside the womb. Do not think your Lord has betrayed you, for in fact, he is willing to make sacrifices to see to it you are happy. Thank him, Severus, for he spared her. 

Sincerely, 

S. L. Snape." 

Professor Dumbledore slowly dropped his hands, his body shaking with fury. Severus, however, was now in a state of shock; his pale face had turned even paler, and his black eyes had a faraway look to them. 

"It's my fault." Severus whispered, looking down at Lily's sleeping form. "It's my fault this happened." 

Dumbledore shook his head, "You couldn't have know. It is not your fault, it is Lord Voldemort's fault, it is his own bearing." 

Severus gripped Lily's hand. "No, no… You're wrong. It's my fault she's in so much pain; it's my fault the baby died… It's MY fault…" 

Dumbledore stood up and set his hands on Severus' shoulders, slowly tightening his grip. 

"Severus, listen to me. Are you listening to me? It is NOT your fault; it is only Lord Voldemort's fault. You couldn't have known, and I know you would have done everything in your power to prevent it." 

Severus shook his head, "No, I left her… I left her in Hogsmeade… I told my father, and he told Lord Voldemort… I shouldn't have left her, I shouldn't have told him… God, it's all my fault." Tears were now silently streaming down his face and he didn't bother wiping them off. 

"Severus, stop it. It is NOT your fault, nor will it ever be. Stop blaming yourself, you couldn't have known, there was no way. You can't change the past, do not blame yourself." 

Severus turned his head up towards Dumbledore. "Then whose fault is it?" 

"Blame Lord Voldemort; Blame your father; Blame the Fates; but do NOT blame yourself, for it is not your fault."   



	12. To Those Who Knew Me

snape12 Chapter.. 12, is it? Whoa... Didn't I have something like 4 chapters up on Friday? Shows you how boring this weekend is so far... But once I get a story in my head, it doesn't go away until I've finished it. Unfortunately, I don't even know the details of how I'm going to get to the modern-day Harry Potter as of now, but I'll figure something out. I'll always take suggestions, so feel free to review... Flames are welcome, as I get a nice little laugh over them.   
Lana   


The news of Lily's mysterious disappearance reached the Gryffindor House later that evening, as she had not shown up in any of her classes for the past two days. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter made their way down to the hospital wing later that evening, prepared for the worst. Rumors were flying, some said she had died, other said she had lost limbs. James found some of them particularly amusing, knowing Lily knew the counter curse to many of the ideas suggested. 

Once they reached the hospital wing, James and Remus went in while Sirius and Peter stayed behind. Finding Severus sitting in a chair next to Lily, who was starring blankly up at the rafters, James lingered back for a moment, until Remus motioned for him to join him next to Lily. 

"What happened?" Remus asked Severus quietly, taking one of her hands. 

"Voldemort attacked her." 

Remus and James looked up at him, surprised. "But she's still alive?" 

Severus sighed, "He only wanted the baby." 

Remus felt as if his body had suddenly turned to ice, "You're shitting me." 

Severus turned towards him with an ironic kind of look on his face. "You have no idea how much I wish I was." 

James crept forward, touching Lily's warm cheek. "Lily… I'm sorry baby… Are you ok?" 

After a moment of silence, Severus looked at James. "She hasn't talked in nearly 24 hours." 

"But is she ok?" 

"What do you think? She had part of her viciously ripped out, not only was it part of her but it was her baby. Physically, she's still hurting. Mentally, I can't even imagine."   
  
Severus looked down at Lily, who was turning onto her side and drawing her knees to her chest. 

"Are you ok?" Remus asked softly, looking up at Severus. 

He shook his head, "No, but I'm not nearly as bad as Lily." 

"You aren't blaming yourself, are you?" 

Severus looked up towards Remus, refusing to answer. Remus shook his head, looking back down toward Lily. "She'll be ok." 

"I hope so." Severus answered, gripping Lily's hand. "Lily baby… Remus and James… Can you say hi?" 

Lily looked up, right into James' eyes. Her green ones, once full of happiness, were now empty. She then turned towards Remus and her lips slowly formed a forced smile. "Hi." 

All three men smiled, "Hi Lily." Remus answered, stroking her cheek. 

"Did I miss anything important?" Her voice was weak and her eyes were glazed over with a far off look in them. 

"Nothing you can't learn in five minutes' time." Remus answered. She then turned back towards James. 

"Did you have fun Sunday night?" Sunday night was the full moon, and Lily knew about the three friends transforming. 

"Yes, we did, but we missed coming back and having you nag us." James smiled half heartedly, then glanced up towards the door. He then glanced at his watch and quickly decided something. 

"Remus, we have to go. It's nearly 8 and we still have to eat." He turned back towards Lily. "We'll come and see you again later, ok?" 

"Ok. Thanks James, thanks Remus," She then turned back over to face Severus, who was still gripping her hand. With that, the two exited the room. 

Once outside, Sirius and Peter questioned the two about Lily's condition. Answering as many questions as possible, James and Remus led the two to the Great Hall, where Dumbledore met them. 

"I see you visited Lily… Is she awake right now?" 

Remus nodded, "She talked too." 

Dumbledore smiled a bit, "I'm glad to see she's recovering. Thank you for your time." With that, he made his way out of the Great Hall and back down to the hospital wing, where Lily was now sitting up. 

"Lily, I'm glad to see you're feeling better. Do you think you'll be ready to go back to the Gryffindor Tower tomorrow?" 

She shrugged and then looked down at her hands. "Do I have to?" 

Professor Dumbledore shook his head, "Where else would you suggest?" 

Lily looked at Severus, who was now starring down at his feet with interest. "Somewhere that Severus can have access to." 

"That would mean you would be living alone, Lily. Are you sure you want that? Being surrounded by friends would be best for you in a time like this." 

Lily nodded, "Papa, please. We're both hurting here, and being separated isn't going to help anything." 

There was a long pause, and he finally answered. "I'll see what I can do, Lily. I'm not promising anything, however." Dumbledore sighed, "You have six months of schooling left, it would not be healthy for you to alienate yourself from your piers." 

"Papa, no matter where I am, I'll be alienated. The whole school's going to know soon enough, and sympathy is the last thing we need. My roommates – they already knew about James, and I was constantly being asked questions. I do not need that, please Papa." 

Dumbledore finally agreed with her, "I shall find an appropriate room for you, Lily, and if you're feeling better tomorrow, you shall be moved in to it." 

"Thank you Papa." Lily smiled weakly, then laid back down and closed her eyes. 

"Severus… A word, if you will." Dumbledore motioned for Severus to follow him outside of the wing. He followed, curious as to what Professor Dumbledore would say. 

"Severus, I know this is hard on both of you, but try to be strong for her. I would modify her memory if I thought it would help, but I don't believe it would. This happened for a reason, a reason we might never live to know. As Lord Voldemort grows stronger, he gains more and more enemies. Hopefully you have now become aware of the terrible thing he is capable of. I will move her into a room close to the Slytherin Tower; I wish for you to visit her as often as you can and as often as she wants. If you must miss classes, tell me and I will inform your professors your absences are justified. I do not want James Potter around her, unless she specifically asks for him. Severus, do what's best for her, no matter what the costs. Do you understand?" 

Severus nodded, "Yes Professor." 

Dumbledore nodded, satisfied. "Very well. I shall make sure no one else finds out what has happened, and meanwhile, I suggest you get some rest." 

Severus shrugged, "Madame Pomfrey said I could sleep in one of the beds." 

"Very well… I shall see you tomorrow." 

"Thanks, Professor." 

"You're welcome, Severus. Just take care of her."   



	13. Here's To The Night

snape13   
She was surrounded by scarlet and gold, as a reference to her House: Scarlet sheets, golden tassels, scarlet curtains, gold fixtures, scarlet armchairs, and a golden desk. The floor was wooden, freshly swept, and a painting of a vase of lilies protected the door. Dumbledore had conveniently chosen the room that was adjacent to the Slytherin 7th Year Boy's dorm. Placing a passageway at the head of Severus' bed that led directly to the room, he warned them not to do anything they'd regret. 

It was the day almost the whole school left for Christmas Holiday, three days after Lily was attacked and two days before Christmas. She had been moved to the room an hour previous, silently rejoicing at the fact she wouldn't have to face any of the three remaining Marauders. She still hurt, although not nearly as much physically as emotionally. She knew Severus blamed himself, although he had no reason to. He had done what any son would do; he told his father about what was happening in his life, confident his father would not betray him. 

She lay on her bed, occasionally glancing out the window at the waning half-moon. She wanted desperately for Severus to come through the door, but no matter how hard she wished he hadn't appeared yet. 

She hadn't cried since the day she had woken up and had to relive her experiences; she was too numb. She placed a hand on her now empty belly, trying to wish the baby back in. She still couldn't believe what had happened, after all she and Severus had been through. Overcoming James had been hard enough, and when she found out she was pregnant, she was terrified Severus would leave her. He hadn't however, and their relationship grew. 

A creak interrupted her train of thought; she looked up to see Severus standing there, slowly closing the door behind him. He looked at her, his black eyes reflecting the little light in the room. He made his way over to her bed and she scooted over, making room for him. After he climbed in, Severus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him, trying to get as close as possible. 

"Are you doing ok?" he asked softly, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

"I'm still alive… Does that count?" 

"It's as good as anyone could hope for right now." Severus answered, a tone of sorrow filling his words. 

"Can you stay with me tonight?" she asked, intertwining her ankles with his. 

"I'll stay as long as you want me to." He answered, scooting down a bit and kissing her gently. 

"We're going to be laying here forever then." She said with little humor. 

"Then I'll know for sure I died and went to heaven." He kissed her once more. "Christmas is in two days… Are you going to stay in here the whole time, or are you going to come with me and eat something three times a day?" 

She shrugged the best she could, "I'm not very hungry, but if you insist, I'll try." 

"That's a good girl…" Severus tucked a stray piece of fiery red hair back behind her ear. "I don't suppose you'd want to stay in here the whole time, would you?" 

"As long as I don't have to see James, I'll be ok." 

"Why, what's wrong? He didn't do anything, did he?" 

She shook her head, "No, but I feel… I'm not sure. Vulnerable, I guess, and I know he'd take advantage of that." 

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you, Lil… I know Remus would like to see you, he misses you." 

"Let him miss me… I just want to stay here with you." She cuddled up to him, resting her hand on the nape of his neck and kissing him once more. 

After a few minutes of this, Severus broke away and looked down at her. "Baby, are you sure about this?" 

She nodded, kissing him once more. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life… Just trust me, Sev, you'll see." 

Looking back on that night, Severus would have said it was more need than want. They both had cried, not from physical pain but from the memory of wanting something so badly, and then having it taken right out from under them. He had kissed the tears off her cheeks, but allowed his to spill down his own cheeks without remorse. With her, he felt alive; he wasn't the corpse he had been for the past 72 hours. Instead, he felt whole. Both pieces of the puzzle, when joined, were a piece of art. To both parties, it was no longer an action; it was an emotion. For the first time, they hadn't slept together… they made love.   


  


_So denied, so I lied, are you the now or never kind?_   
_In a day and a day, love, I'm gonna be gone for good again_   
_Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?_   
_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well___

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_   
_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_   
_Here's to goodbye_   
_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon___

_Put your name on the line along with place and time_   
_Wanna stay, not to go, I wanna ditch the logical_   
_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well___

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_   
_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_   
_Here's to goodbye_   
_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon___

_All my time is froze in motion_   
_Can't I stay an hour or two or more?_   
_Don't let me let you go..._   
_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well___

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_   
_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_   
_Here's to goodbye_   
_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon___

_~ Eve6, "Here's to the Night"_


	14. Innocense

snape14 I love twists... :o) There's going to be two endings, I decided that last night... One the way it's supposed to be (James), and one the way it should be (Severus). For now, Happy reading.   
Lana   


Severus sat on the edge of his bed, hand in his pocket. Thoughts were running through his mind like crazy; Should he or shouldn't he? It seemed right, like the natural progression of things. Not necessarily a step, but a progression. Thinking it out for one more moment, he swallowed his pride and checked to see if anyone else was in the dorm before he opened the door and walked into Lily's room. Seeing that she was awake, he smiled and walked over to her and sat down next to her on the bed. 

"Merry Christmas Eve, baby." He kissed her and then drew back, a few last minute 'what ifs?' running through his head. 

"Hey Severus… Excited about Christmas yet?" Lily asked, putting down the book she was reading. 

"Nah, I've never had a Christmas to get excited about." 

"Are you Jewish?" 

Severus smiled, "No, but my family was never really into those kinds of traditions." 

Lily nodded, "That's terrible… Are you spending the night tonight?" 

Severus shrugged, "If you want me to." 

Lily smiled, "Of course I do. Although I don't know if your presents will end up here or in your dorm…" 

Severus smiled back, "I'm sure your Papa knows I stay here." 

Lily agreed, "Seeing as how he made it possible…" 

Severus paused and took a deep breath. "Lily, I have something to ask you." 

"Shoot." 

Severus took in a deep breath and got on one knee in front of her. Taking out a velvet box in his pocket, he opened it revealing a diamond ring. 

"Lily, will you marry me?" 

Lily was too stunned to speak for a moment. She looked into Severus' pleading black eyes, and finally broke out into a huge grin. 

"Of course." She then kissed him and he put the ring on her finger. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Lil, and don't you ever forget that." 

Lily and Severus woke up the next day, Christmas, to two separate piles of packages at the end of Lily's bed. 

"I guess our antics are fairly well-known." Lily smirked, poking Severus in the side before she crawled up to the end of her bed and ripped into the first package. 

Severus sat up and blinked, nearly blinded by the bright light streaming through the window and reflecting off the golden furnishings in the room. The memory of the previous night came flooding back to him, and he smiled. He then crawled up next to Lily, who was holding out a purple silk dress with a look of interesting on her face. 

"Mum definitely knows what I fancy." She stated, burying her face into the soft material. She inhaled deeply, catching the scents of home, and then set the dress next to her and ripped open the next present. Meanwhile, Severus was opening his presents with a lack of interesting, wondering why all his family bothered to get him was books and random articles of clothing, when his eyes fell upon a letter in the middle of the stack. Ripping it open with curiosity and reading the first few sentences, he immediately regretted it. 

_Dear Severus,___

_ After many weeks, our kind has found out the relation you speak of about Miss Evans. As she is the kin of Albus Dumbledore, your Lord's greatest enemy, she is considered a threat._   
_ Lord Voldemort has requested that you dispose of her immediately, or he will do so himself. He has been merciful enough to spare her once, days ago, please do not dishonour him and keep up your relations._   
_ You are still permitted to acquaint yourself with her, however, anything more is strictly prohibited. You have one month. Please son, do as your Lord asks, as he will not be forgiving more than once. You are destined to be in his inner circle; he has great things planned for you, Severus. Do not disregard his request as you have often done in the past._   
_ Respond with your course of action.___

_ Sincerely,___

_ S. L. Snape_

Just as Severus finished, Lily tried to grab it from him, wanting to read. He immediately put it back in the envelope and stuck it in a book lying next to him. 

"What was that about?" Lily asked, offering him a Chocolate Frog. Severus accepted and cracked it open to find an Albus Dumbledore card inside. At the sight of Professor Dumbledore, Severus' stomach lurched, threatening to dispose of its contents. 

"Nothing, just a Christmas letter from home." Severus lied, guilt immediately flooding his insides like ice water. 

"Ok then… Oo, you got Papa!" Lily gleefully took the card from him and smiled. "You know, we should go up and visit him right about now… I bet he's lonely. Besides, we have to tell him about us." She glanced down at the ring on her left hand and smiled. 

Severus nodded numbly, "Yes, that'd be a good idea. However, we will see him in less than an hour; perhaps he is sleeping in? It is only 8 AM, Lily." 

She shrugged, "Probably. He tends to sleep in as much as possible – he's even worse than you." She poked him in the side once more, and then rested her head on his shoulder. "You know, this is the best Christmas I've ever had, regardless of everything that's happened." 

Severus nodded, "Even with everything, this is by far the best Christmas I've ever had." 

Lily sighed and laid down once more. "What are you planning on doing after you've graduated?" 

"Marrying you, of course… Helping your Papa, perhaps become a teacher, maybe even here at Hogwarts." 

Lily smiled, "You? A teacher? Professor Snape… Hmm, it does have a ring to it." 

Severus laughed a bit, lying down next to her. "I suppose it does. How about you?" 

Lily shrugged, "Marry you… Work for the Ministry, maybe. Help Papa, of course… Or if all else fails, stay home and have a gazillion babies." 

"A gazillion? How am I supposed to keep up with you then?" 

"It'll take pure skill, none of which you are lacking." 

"Thanks a lot, Lil." 

Lily grinned, "No problem."   



	15. Tumbling Towards Ecstasy

snape15 For all of you that have either wondered or asked... Yes, somehow Lily and Snape are gonna end up seperated. However, as I stated in the last(?) chapter, I'll write a different ending... It's not gonna be what you're thinking, though. They'll end up together, but gawd help me if I do it the normal way.   
Lana   


Severus and Lily walked down to the Great Hall hand-in-hand, expecting to see the four House tables, however they were pleased to find that a table set for twenty was standing in the middle of the Hall, with the four Marauders and a few teachers seated already. A fifth year Hufflepuff and a third year Ravenclaw were seated on the opposite side of the Marauders. Professor Dumbledore was seated in the middle of the table with two seats to his right empty. Once he saw Lily and Severus, he motioned for them to join him. Taking her spot next to Dumbledore, Lily sat down, her hand still intertwined with Severus'. 

"Merry Christmas to you both!" Professor Dumbledore exclaimed, a goofy grin spread across his face. "I trust you both slept well?" 

Lily kissed him on the cheek and nodded. "Yes Papa." 

James shot a startled glance over towards Lily. She realized her mistake and avoided his eyes. Instead, she turned towards Severus, looking for permission to announce their engagement. He nodded, and she turned back around to her grandfather. 

"Papa, look." She held out her left hand and showed him her ring. Dumbledore's smile grew wider and looked over at Severus. 

"Congratulations to both of you… Congratulations." He looked up at the rest of the table, then stood up. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is a very Merry Christmas indeed. I hope you all are enjoying your day, and I would like to make an announcement." He smile down upon Lily and Severus, then continued. "My granddaughter, Lily Evans, and Severus Snape are getting married!" 

The table was silent from shock for a moment, then a wild burst of applause and congratulations emerged. Lily glanced at James for a moment to see his brown eyes full of hurt. He stood up and walked out of the Great Hall without saying a word, with his friends and Lily being the only ones that noticed. 

Lily was torn between following him and staying, and after a moment's battle, she smiled at everyone and excused herself, then trotted after James. 

She caught up to him a minute later, "James… What's wrong?" 

James turned around the face her, trying to hide his red rimmed eyes. "Jesus Christ, Lily… If you don't know what's wrong by now, then you must be stupider than a troll." 

Lily sighed, "Please tell me you're not still mad about the fact we're only friends?" 

James scoffed, "Yeah Lily, you're marrying that lousy git, you almost had his baby, and you never told me you're related to Dumbledore… and I'm mad about us being friends." 

"I love Severus, and if you can't handle that, then why the hell even look at us?" 

"Because…" James clenched his fists, "because I still love you Lily, damnit. Can't you understand that?" 

Lily sighed, "I understand that perfectly… You have to get over me, James. You're too used to being the top of everything, and for once your enemy got the one thing you wanted." 

"I SAVED HIS F-CKING LIFE!" James exclaimed, hitting the cold stonewall. "This is how he repays me… I could have let him see Remus; I could have let the werewolf tear him apart, limb from limb, but no. I warned him… I told him not to go. Next year, he gets I>my/I> girlfriend pregnant and wants to marry her." 

"I'm not your girlfriend anymore, James." Lily said softly, looking down at her feet. 

"Do you have any idea how much I regret what I did to you? Do you have any idea what so ever? I go to sleep at night praying for a chance to turn back time, hoping that maybe Severus would make one wrong move and you'd dump him… Do you know how much I wish that I were the one giving you that ring? I would have, Lil, I was planning to, until he ruined it all." 

Lily shook her head, "It's not his fault he loves me… It's my fault. Blame me, just don't blame him. He didn't do anything wrong." 

James sighed, leaning back on the wall. "I miss you Lil… Promise me if anything happens with Severus, you'll come back to me." 

Lily considered this for a moment, then nodded. "I promise… as long as you act human, I promise." 

James looked up at her, then wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robes. "I guess you'd better go back there." 

Lily looked over her shoulder at the entrance of the Great Hall. "And I suppose Remus and Sirius are wondering where you went." 

James stood up and started walking down the corridor, "Coming?" 

Lily followed him, watching the back of his heels peak out from below his robes. The two entered the Hall separately, James walking to his seat next to Sirius and Lily walking to hers between her grandfather and Severus. Severus took her hand in his own and squeezed it softly, then leaned over to whisper something to her. 

"He didn't do anything, did he?" 

Lily shook her head, smiling at him with reassurance. She knew right then and there Severus was the one she wanted to be with, not James. She kissed Severus quickly, once again avoiding James' stare.   



	16. Till Death Do Us Part

snape16 Sorry this is so short, but it seemed like a good place to end the chapter and it serves it's purpose. By the way, in the past four days I've added twelve new chapters... that's three chapters a day. Geez... No, I'm not the kind to stay at home all weekend, I've just been sick.   
Lana   


The next day, Severus went up to Dumbledore's office, his father's letter clutched in his hand. Reaching the door, he banged on it impatiently until he heard Dumbledore give him permission to enter. 

"Severus, this is a surprised… What is this?" Dumbledore asked as Severus handed the letter to him. He opened it and quickly read it, his expression becoming one of anger. 

"What is, as your father wishes to know, your course of action?" 

Severus sighed as he paced the room, "It's obvious, isn't it? I have to break up with her." 

Dumbledore nodded, "It seems as if it's a choice between life or death. Have you told her?" 

Severus shook his head, "No." 

Dumbledore nodded and told him to sit patiently. He left the room and came back minutes later, Lily in tow. 

"Lily, please read this." Dumbledore handed her the letter. Lily quickly scanned it, then looked up at her grandfather, horrified. She then looked over at Severus, who had his head in his hands. 

"But… why?" 

"I am Lord Voldemort's greatest enemy. Any Death Eater with relations, however distant, is considered a threat. If Severus were to marry you as you two have planned, he would be killed instantly, and I'm not sure they would spare you either." 

Lily sank down into a chair, looking bewildered. "There has to be a way around this… There has to be…" 

"If either of you have any good suggestions, I'm open to them." Severus' voice came out muffled from behind his hands. 

Professor Dumbledore sat down and thought for a moment. "I could marry you two, the ministry granted me that power early in my life… however, you would not be allowed to tell anyone, or speak of it even to each other unless in complete privacy. You would not be allowed to have any children or any prolonged contact with each other. Both of you would have to live separate lives, away from each other. However, you would be married." 

Lily sighed, "We'd be legally joined, but unable to see each other for more than five minute at a time." 

Severus looked up from his hands, finally speaking. "It's better than nothing." 

Lily nodded, agreeing with him. "Unfortunately, it does seem to be the only way." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded, "Do you wish to proceed?" 

Severus and Lily exchanged glances, then nodded in unison. 

"Very well. As the letter states, you have one month together, and then you must stage your parting of ways. When do you wish to have the ceremony?" 

Severus walked over to Lily and bent down to meet her seated height. Looking into her eyes, he quickly got the message across- 

_Now_. 

Lily nodded, then looked back up at her grandfather. "Now, if you have nothing scheduled." 

Professor Dumbledore didn't seem surprised in the least, "Very well… Please, Lily, stand up and stand in front of me with Severus." The two followed his command, then Lily looked up at him with expecting eyes. 

" Do you, Lillian Maria Evans, take Severus Lagasto Snape, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and promise to be faithful to him until death do you part?" 

Lily smiled, holding Severus' hands. "I do." 

"And do you, Severus Lagasto Snape, take Lillian Maria Evans to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forwards, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and promise to be faithful to her until death do you part?" 

Severus squeezed Lily's hands, looking directly into her eyes. "I do." 

"By the power invested in me by the English Chapter of the Ministry of Magic, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Severus, you may kiss the bride." 

The kiss lasted for a short period of time, but to the couple it seemed like eternity. 

"Fawkes, maybe I present to you Mister and Misses Severus Snape." Dumbledore directed this towards in phoenix, which was standing on his perch watching intently. 

"I shall have a certificate stored here in my office. If at any time you wish to see it, ask me, but for safety's sake, it will not leave this room." Dumbledore told them. 

"Yes Papa." Lily said while Severus nodded. 

"Good." Dumbledore smiled and looked over at his grandson-in-law. "Severus, welcome to the family."   



	17. Save Tonight

snape17

It's not over yet, folks. I still have at least 7 chapters to go, and that's only one of the endings. This chapter's alligned like this for a reason, sorry.   
Lana   


They had one month. One month to act as if tomorrow would never come; one month to pretend it would last forever, until reality set in. They didn't have forever; they had 30 days to live out a life of a married couple. Once the morning of January 25th came, to the rest of the world they were through. They spent not one night apart, and fortunately Severus' disappearances were not questioned by his roommates, nor was the ring around his finger – a sign of marriage for a man. Severus doubted they even noticed; Lucius Malfoy, Matthew Crabbe, and Marshall Goyle were part of a tight-knit group he was allowed to enter, but never really felt welcome to join. 

Once classes started, Severus and Lily only saw each other afterwards, at night, and in Transfiguration. They spent every spare moment together, not wanting to waste a minute of their limited time. 

January 24th was their last night together, and the two were determined to make it special. Dumbledore arranged for three house elves to set up a table in the middle of Lily's room with a small feast, along with flowers and candles arranged all around the room. Set on Lily's desk was a large record player with a stack of about fifty records to choose from, including Muggle albums Severus had never seen. 

"Shall we?" Lily was dressed in the silk dress she received for Christmas. Severus smiled and took her arm, leading her to the table. For the first five minutes, they ate in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Music from the records was playing in the background, setting the mood. 

"You know, as of midnight, we're officially an unknown, unregistered marriage." Severus smiled at the irony. 

Lily nodded, "Yeah, we are… Severus, I have something to tell you." 

His eyes widened a bit, expecting the worst. "You're not pregnant again, are you? Because if you are, that'd be really hard to explain." 

Lily laughed, "No, I'm not. Sev, I promised James if anything happened to you and me I'd go back to him. Even if I hadn't said anything, he would have expected it." 

Severus' eyes were now downcast, "Your grandfather said we had to do everything in our power to make things seem normal. If you believe it's required of you to go back to James, then do so. It's for the best… The less we're together, the less suspicious everyone will be." 

Lily tried to look Severus in the eyes, but was unable to meet his gaze. Finally, she reached over the table and touched his cheek. He then raised his head up to meet her eyes. 

"You know I love you, Sev. You know I do." 

"I know Lil, right now you do… But what about 5 years in the future? What's going to happen then?" 

"By then, Voldemort will be defeated and I would have left James. Our relationship will be out in the open and we'll have at least two babies by then." 

"That's terrible optimistic of you." 

"It's terrible pessimistic of you to think otherwise… It's 1978, Severus. Voldemort has control of nearly a quarter of the witches and wizards out there. What else can we do but hope?" 

Severus become quiet for a moment, listening to the beginnings of one of the Muggle songs. He got up and offered his hand to Lily, "May I have this dance?" 

Lily smiled and took his hand graciously and allowed him to lead her to a small clearing near the secret door. 

**_ Go on and close the curtains cause all we need is candlelight_**   
**_ You and me and a bottle of wine_**   
**_ Gonna hold you tonight_**

"What if Voldemort is never defeated and we can never be together again?" Lily asked, laying her head on Severus' shoulder. 

"He'll be defeated, I promise." 

**_ Well we know I'm going away and how I wish, I wish it weren't so_**   
**_ So take this wine and drink with me_**   
**_ Let's delay our misery_**

"If you could turn back time, would you still talk to me when you found me in the prefect's bathroom the first night we talked?" she asked, dropping her voice to barely above a whisper. 

"Not only would I have talked to you, I would sweep you off your feet in a moment's time and run away with you." 

"You mean it?" 

"As much as I'm alive."****

**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone_**   
**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone…_**

The two continued to dance as flames danced in the fireplace beside them, creating their silhouette among the scarlet coloured walls.****

**_ There's a log on the fire and it burns like me for you_**   
**_ Tomorrow comes with one desire_**   
**_ To take me away, it's true_**   
  
"Promise me, when this is all over you'll still remember me." Lily murmured, burying her face in his neck. 

"As long as I'm alive, I'll love you, and don't you ever forget that."****

**_ It ain't easy to say goodbye_**   
**_ Darling please, don't start to cry_**   
**_ Cause girl you know I got to go, oh_**   
**_ And lord I wish it wasn't so_**

"I'm going to help Papa with his group… I'll make sure James is a part of it also, we could use all the help we can get." 

"So then we'll be able to see each other a lot without it being questioned." 

"At least not by our side."**__**

**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone_**   
**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone…_**

"I won't let anything happen to you, not so long as Voldemort trusts me. When you get out of here, I want you to lay low… Don't let any of the Death Eaters know your presence." 

"I won't."****

**_ Tomorrow comes to take me away_**   
**_ I wish that I, that I could stay_**   
**_ Girl you know I've got to go, oh_**   
**_ And lord I wish it wasn't so_******

"When all this is over with, we're going to have a real wedding, with a dress and organs and family… and a cake." Lily smiled, kissing his neck. 

"Of course, love." 

"And we're going to have a song… A real song we can tell people about and listen to when it plays in some musty club when we least expect it." 

"A song?" 

"You know, something we can dance to."****

**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone_**   
**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone…_**   
****   
"Like this one?" 

"No, this one's much too sad… One we can be happy about, one we can tell our gazillion babies about…" 

"Still a gazillion? Are you sure you won't settle for a thousand or so?"****

**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone_**   
**_ Save tonight and fight the break of dawn_**   
**_ Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone…_**

"Sev, you're gonna love me forever, right?" 

"Lil, I promise you… There will never be anyone else." 

"And no matter how goo-goo I act around James, I promise the whole time I'm thinking of you and only you." 

"Even during the sex?" 

"Especially during the sex."****

** _ Tomorrow I'll be gone…_**   
**_ Tomorrow I'll be gone…_**   
**_ Tomorrow I'll be gone…_****__**

**_ Save tonight…_**   
**_ Save tonight…_**   
**_ Save tonight…*_**

* - "Save Tonight", Eagle Eye Cherry 


	18. The Parting of Ways

snape18 Janaury 24th is my birthday... I found that funny how it worked out that way, totally unplanned. :o) Sorry this one's so short, guys, but once again, it seemed like a good place to end it. I have NOT started the two different endings yet; I'll inform you when I do, ok? Believe it or not, in the ending where they end up together, this also happens... I'm evil, I know, and I'm sorry.   
Lana   


Looking back on the morning of January 25th, 1978, it was the hardest day of Severus' and Lily's life. Knowing what she was going back to, knowing they would never truly be able to celebrate their relationship, knowing Lily's fantasy life with him wouldn't come true, at least for a long time, was hell to them. 'What if?'s kept running through Severus' head, the each more impossible but fearful. What if he died and James was the one to comfort Lily? What if she was pregnant and didn't know it, how would they explain that? What if she gave James a child and when the time came for him and Lily to be together, for her child's sake, she didn't leave James? Or even worse, she completely ignored him for the rest of their lives? What if _she_ died, leaving him all alone in the world? He was certain he wouldn't be able to love anyone else, even if he tried. What if that bastard beat her so bad she was forced to leave him, leaving her alone in the world? Severus wouldn't be able to take care of her, not without the Death Eaters finding out. Once the Death Eaters found out, he was certain either himself or Lily would die. 

Before the sun was up, the two laid together for hours, just thinking. Both had tried to execute a conversation, but failing miserably. 

"Lily, if he lays one hand on you ever, come to me and I swear I'll make sure I'm the only one able to give you babies. If he threatens you, makes you do something you don't want to, or even looks at you the wrong way, tell me. Ok?" 

Lily nodded, a tear running down her cheek. "God, this is so hard." 

"I know baby… I know." 

The two walked down together to the Great Hall and gave each other one long, single kiss before entering the Hall. Watching her walk off to the Gryffindor table, knowing what she was about to do made Severus feel just about as helpless as he had ever felt. He made his way to his own table silently, tearing his eyes off of her for a moment. When he looked back, he saw her sitting next to James, and from the look of it she was telling him she and Severus had broken up. Confusion washed over James' face for a moment before a look of relief set in. With rage boiling inside his chest, Severus looked away to endorse himself in a conversation with his fellow Slytherins. 

"I see you and Evans broke up." Lucius Malfoy, a Slytherin seventh year commented. 

Severus nodded, confirming his suspicions. "It didn't work out." 

"You two were together for a year, you were engaged, and all the sudden, things didn't work out? What'd she do, cheat on you?" Crabbe commented, taking a bit of bacon. 

"Of course not. We just decided it wasn't for the best." 

"So you're letting that Potter fool take her now?" Malfoy sniggered, looking at the Gryffindor table. 

"Not by choice, believe me." 

"I wonder if the rumors were true… Him beating her and all. Then again, this is Lily Evans we're talking about… No one in her right mind would touch her. Would you believe she's related to Dumbledore? I guess she's not as Muggle as everyone though." Malfoy said through a mouthful of eggs. 

"Of course I knew." Severus snapped, "I've known for six months." 

Malfoy didn't looked fazed at all by Severus' small outburst. "Of course, the little bitch had it coming to her… F-cking with Potter, then moving on to you. She might as well take on the role as the school slut, it suits her well enough." 

A loud scrapping sound was heard as Severus stood up and knocked Lucius off his chair. Around two hundred pairs of eyes turned to look at the two as Lucius toppled to the ground, landing on his knees. When he looked up with startled eyes towards Severus, he immediately regretted his words. Severus was positively fuming, Lucius was sure if it was possible smoke would be coming out of his ears. His fists were balled up and his upper body was stiff, ready to fight. 

"Don't you _ever_ talk about her like that, you hear me?" Severus hissed so only Lucius could hear him. Lucius nodded weakly, clamoring back up to the table. 

"I would have thought you, of all people Snape, would have enjoyed that comment, seeing as how seeing people in constant misery is what you're destined for. I heard about your contacts with the Inner Circle. My father instructed me to treat you with more respect this year; everyone knows what you're capable of." 

"I'm only capable of what I want to do." Severus said stiffly, sitting back down in his seat and avoiding Lily's gaze he could feel from across the room. 

"Keep telling yourself that, Severus, and one day you might die trying to pull it off. Our Lord takes no weak Death Eaters; where we're going, only the strongest survive." Malfoy pushed up his sleeve under the table between them, showing him the Dark Mark burned into his upper forearm. "Don't you see? We're on the same side. Trust me, Snape. You and I have one hell of a future together." 

Severus was distracted once more; Lily was walking out of the Great Hall with James' arm around her. Following closely were Sirius, Peter, and Remus, only one of which glanced towards him; Remus. 

Severus nodded in his direction, confirming Remus' suspicions .He knew their kind of relationship would not end that abruptly, and Severus was grateful for having someone on his side, especially a friend of his now-proclaimed enemy, James Potter.   



	19. Trouble In Paradise

snape19 Is this short? I dunno...   
Lana   


As Lily took a seat next to James, she noticed Remus giving her a curious look. Avoiding his eyes, she slide the necklace with her ring on it down the front of her robes so only he caught sight. 

"Lily… You're here finally. How've you been?" James noticed her a moment later and immediately stopped eating. 

"I've been better." She answered honestly. 

"What's wrong?" his eyes were filled with concern, but she knew the look all too well. 

"Severus and I just broke up." 

She noticed his expression change from concern to shock to relief within a moment's time. "I'm so sorry, Lil… He didn't hurt you, did he?" 

_Not like you ever did_, she thought. "No, of course not, he would never do that." 

"Then what happened?" James pushed on. 

"We just decided it would be best to go our separate ways…" all of the sudden, a loud scrapping noise came from the opposite side of the room. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Severus standing over what looked like a crumpled Lucius Malfoy. She strained to hear what he was saying, but unfortunately she couldn't even hear his voice. Wishing he was there with her instead of over with his god-awful Slytherin house mates, she turned back to James before she could catch Severus' eye. 

"What do you mean, 'it was for the best'?" James asked, his eyes still on Lily's pale face. 

"I meant exactly what I said. It just didn't work out James." 

He nodded, accepting this. "I guess that means you and me…?" 

Lily shrugged, "If you want to." 

He shook his head, "Only if your heart's in it." 

She looked up and him with a weak smile and a look of defeat. "Give me a few days and I'll be ok… You know how the whole breakup thing goes. I'm gonna miss him for a while, but I'll get over him." 

_ I'll get over him the moment Papa joins Lord Voldemort. _Lily smiled inwardly. James finished eating and looked over at her plate, which was empty. 

"You're not eating?" 

"Not hungry." Lily sighed, leaning back in her chair. 

"Do you want to go back to the common room then? We've missed you." James offered, looking at his three friends to see if they were done. Getting a look of approval from the three of them, he gently guided her up and out of the Great Hall. She felt Severus' eyes watching her, but she was took afraid to turn around to see his expression. She knew he must be feeling betrayed, but he knew it was for the best; in order to lead a 'normal' life, she had to be with James. She had no choice. 

Back in the common room, James, Sirius, and Peter went up the stairs to the seventh year boy dorms, leaving Remus with Lily. She glanced over towards Remus with a worried expression on her face. 

"It's a full moon tonight… They just want to get ready." He explained, moving over to sit with her in an overstuffed couch. "So tell me, what's the real reason you and Severus broke up? Don't give me any of that 'it was for the best' bull, I know that's not the truth." 

Lily sighed once again, "I can't tell you." 

Remus shook his head, "Lily, you have to tell someone. I swear, James will never know, nor will anyone else. I won't let Severus know I have any clue of what's going on, I promise." 

Lily thought about this for a moment, then decided she could trust him. She reached under her robes and pulled out her chain with her wedding ring on the end. 

"Your engagement ring?" Remus questioned, eyeing the jewelry. 

"No." Lily breathed in deeply, "My wedding ring." 

Remus' face froze in shock. What ever he had been expecting, that was most certainly not it. 

"You mean… You and Severus…?" he asked when he finally gained his voice back. 

"December 26th. We've been married for nearly a month." Lily confirmed. 

"And you didn't tell anyone?" Remus exclaimed, the glanced around the room to make sure no one was listening. "You two got a divorce, then?" 

Lily shook her head, "Papa married us in secret. You must understand, no one must EVER know. It's a matter of life and death." 

Remus nodded, "Why though?"   
  
"Voldemort found out… He didn't want his most promising spawn to be mingling with the enemy, therefore he told us it was either break up or die. We got married the next day, in secret." Lily admitted quietly. 

"Does this have anything to do with the baby?" Remus asked cautiously. 

"Voldemort took my baby before he found out who I was… who I was related to. It was mistake, he realized it, and therefore he tried to break us up. Papa told us to try and live normal lives, and my normal life without Severus would be with James." 

"So you two are still married, but you're going to be dating James? You know he was planning on proposing to you, right?" 

Lily nodded, "Papa said it was ok, it wouldn't be illegal under the circumstances. All I have to do is wait until Voldemort is defeated, then I plan on ditching James and going back to Severus." 

"Poor James… Can't say the bastard doesn't deserve it though." Remus smirked, "He is a bit of a prick." 

"A bit? Remus, he put the 'p' in prick." 

"He put the 'd' in dick." 

"The 'a' in asshole." 

"The 'm' and 'f' in mother f-"   
  
"REMUS!"   



	20. The Darkest Hour Is Just Before Dawn

snape20 '   
They were together again, and no matter how hard Severus tried to avoid them, it was as if he was cursed to see them everywhere he went. He busied himself in his studies, but even then he couldn't concentrate. Each night, he longed to go through the hidden door into her room, to see how she was. Each night, however, he realized the more they saw each other the harder it would be for them to remain distant. He could hear her if he pressed his ear against the wall, straining to listen. Her voice, however faint it was, was the most comforting sound to Severus. 

He was having difficulty sleeping; His meetings with Professor Dumbledore were now weekly, after his last lesson on Friday afternoons. He was coming to dread these; without her, he didn't know how long he'd be able to put out the strength it took him to say he was willing to do this. Dumbledore asked each and every time, in the same commanding and intimidating voice. Severus knew the risks; he was already feeling resentment towards Voldemort, and trying to hide this fact around his Slytherin friends was hard. They talked of joining the Dark Lord often, in huddles around the fire late at night. Lucius Malfoy was usually the leader, trying to convince his friends Voldemort was their ticket to power. Showing them the Dark Mark burned into his arm was always a spectacle and afterwards, he always turned towards Severus as if he was expecting him to show the House his own Mark. 

It was Calling him more and more now, each time was more painful and harder to resist than the last. Late at night, he ran through the tactics and strategies he and Dumbledore went over, mingling the scenarios with the constant 'what if' questions running through his mind. To him, it was nothing less than torture, like a constant mind game battling between what he knew was right and the easiest road out. Lily haunted him; each time he turned over in bed, he half expected her to be there to push him back to his side. When his conscious mind realized he had the bed to himself, he could sprawl out as he wished, tears threatened to spill out onto his cheeks. Even in the dead of night, he would have been mortified at showing such a weakness this strongly and this often. 

He knew she hadn't slept with him yet; at least not in her room. She slept alone each night, and Severus yearned to go through the door and comfort her when he heard her soft, muffled cries. He looked for signs of James hitting her, and thankfully he saw none. As sleep deprived, stressed, and anxious as he was, he feared James would get the best of him even though Severus knew more hexes James could ever wish to learn in a lifetime. It was a constant mental and emotional struggle; he wanted to see her, he _needed_ to see her, but he knew for their own sake he couldn't, unless she wanted him to. 

The opportunity came on the night of April 4th, around 3 AM. Severus heard a scream coming through the walls, and another that followed it. He wasn't sure if he had been dreaming, until he heard it once more: 

_ "Severus!"_

Her voice was high and shrill; he was surprised neither Lucius, Crabbe, nor Goyle had awoken at the sound of it. He could hear her crying now; loud, racking sobs. Before he could stop himself, he slipped quietly through the door, making sure it was sealed shut before advancing through her room. 

He reached her bed and touched her face; sweat was pouring down her forehead, mixing with the tears streaming from her eyes. Her pale body was shaking and clutching her blanket as if she was holding on for dear life. He touched her once again, but she still remained the same. 

He sat down next to her and conjured up a damp cloth, gently wiping her hot forehead with it. He didn't know how long he sat there; he only knew how helpless he felt as he continued to try to comfort Lily. 

She woke up right before dawn. Seeing him sitting there, hovering above her, made her want to forget about James and go back to Severus; However, she knew she couldn't do that, no matter how much she wanted to. 

"You're awake." He stated, looking down at her with fear in his eyes. "Are you ok?" 

Lily shook her head, "I don't know… I was having these nightmares for the longest time. Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." 

Severus helped her sit up, "No, I was still awake. You were screaming and – I just wanted to make sure you were ok." 

Lily smiled gratefully, "Thank you. How long were you here?" 

Severus checked his watch. "Around 3 and a half hours." 

"Oh god, Sev… I'm sorry. You should go back to bed, I'm so sorry for making you come in here." 

"You didn't make me do anything, Lil, I wanted to." 

They were quiet for a moment, then she spoke up. "I missed you." 

He smiled a bit, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "I missed you too baby." 

She sighed, "Why don't you come in here more often?" 

"I don't want this to be harder than it already is." Severus admitted. "I missed you so much it was painful seeing you." 

Lily laid her head onto his shoulder, "I'm sorry baby… With you here, things are so much easier. Come visit me sometimes, ok? No one will find out, James doesn't know where my room is. I'd rather be here with you than him anyway." 

There was a pause before Severus spoke. "How are you two doing?" 

Lily smirked, "He's being a perfect gentleman, if that's what you mean. I think Papa put the fear of God in him. He's annoyingly sweet and insists on following me everywhere I go." 

"Must be love." Severus scoffed, "Are you friends with Remus Lupin?" 

Lily nodded, "Yeah, I talk to him a lot. He's the friendliest werewolf I've ever met." 

Severus' eyes widened. "He's a werewolf? Is that why James held me back?" 

"You mean they didn't tell you?" 

"No… I always assumed there was some kind of creature… But never a werewolf." 

Lily nodded, "Now don't you think any worse of Remus. Out of the four of them, he's the best. I think you two would actually get along, if you tried." 

Severus smiled, "A Death Eater and a werewolf… It has potential." 

There was silence once more. Lily scooted over, inviting him to lie down. 

"Do you miss me?" she asked quietly, draping her arm over his stomach. 

"No Lily, not at all. I can't sleep at night, I only eat to survive, and Everytime I see you and James together I feel like hurling… But I don't miss you." 

Lily laughed, "Feel free to throw up on James. I'm sure he'd appreciate it." 

"Nah, I'd have to clean up the mess afterward… Besides, I just might miss and hit you, and then you'd want a divorce." 

"Me, divorce you? Never." 

"What makes you so sure?" 

"Because I love you more than anyone in the world and I can stand a little bit of puke." 

"I love you too Lil, but I gotta tell you… If you ever intentionally throw up on me, you're getting the couch for at least an hour, before I miss you too much and make you come back to bed." 

"A whole hour?" 

"Ok, five minutes." 

"Much better."   



	21. "I'm Marrying Remus."

snape21 Let the flames be heard... You know it had to happen.   
Lana 

Lily and James were sitting on one of the many couches in the Gryffindor common room watching the fire magically change colors, from orange to blue to green to purple and back again. 

"Lily, what are you planning on doing after Hogwarts?" James asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. 

"I'm planning on going to work for Papa… Then maybe, after the Voldemort situation's over, having a baby." Lily answered, withholding the fact the baby would be with Severus, not him. 

"A baby Lil? Wow… Who's gonna be the lucky guy?" James knew the answer; he just wanted to hear it from her to make sure she was over Snape. He had noticed lately she had been speaking to him in Transfiguration class and he knew the look she had given him. She still felt something for him, he was sure of it. 

"You, of course. Who else is there?" Lily forced herself to smile. Having a baby with James was the last thing she wanted to do. 

"Me? Does that mean you plan on marrying me too?" James asked slyly. 

Lily shrugged, "Eventually. You know I love you… It's just a matter of when we'll get married, not if." 

James nodded, "I love you too Lily… How many babies are you planning on having?" 

"As many as possible." 

"Are you sure? We really should stop once we have a boy. The Potter name needs an heir, and then all will be taken care of." 

Lily raised her eyebrow, "And what if the boy dies? Are we going to keep on trying until I have another son?" 

"Potter boys don't die." James said firmly. 

"Ahh, yes, but this boy will also be an Evans." Lily smiled, "Evans do die, even though Papa's sure proving that theory wrong." 

James smiled, "Ok, ok… You win. You can have as many kids as you can handle." 

"What about you? You're gonna help me, right?" 

"Of course, but I can only handle so many… You get the rest. I'll switch on alternating days." 

"I'll take Monday through Thursday, you take Friday through Saturday?" 

"Sure." 

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, then James scooped Lily up and placed her in his lap, while stretching out his legs over the couch. 

"What if I told you I wanted to marry you?" James asked. 

"I wouldn't be the least bit surprised." Lily answered, still gazing into the fire. 

James took in a deep breath, "What if I said I wanted to marry you as soon as possible?" 

"I'd say Papa wouldn't marry us as long as we're still students." 

"Dumbledore can marry people?"   
  
"Apparently." 

"How'd you find that out?" James asked, curious. 

"I wanted him to do my wedding." Lily answered truthfully. Luckily, James didn't catch on. 

"Really? That'd be nice." He smiled, "And I didn't mean right now. I meant after we've graduated." 

Lily nodded, "I'd accept." 

James smiled, then took a gold band studded with diamonds out of his pocket. 

"Lily, will you marry me?" 

She smiled and took the ring, placing it on her finger. "You know the answer." 

"I just want to hear you say it." 

"Yes James Potter, I'll marry you." 

She sat on her bed until she heard the sound of her door opening, revealing Severus. She turned towards him with a desperate look on her face. 

"Severus, he asked me to marry him." 

Severus nodded, as he was expecting this. "Did you say yes?" 

Lily nodded miserably, scooting over so he could sit down. "I didn't want to though. All I could think about was how you were going to be so mad…" 

Severus shook his head and hugged her, "I could never be mad at you, remember? Besides, it's for the best… I understand that." 

Lily nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "Are you going to come to the wedding? I don't think I could make it through without you there." 

Severus smirked, "You want me, your husband, to come to your other wedding?" He laughed, "That sounds a bit strange, but of course I'll come. Any excuse to see you." 

Lily smiled, "You don't have to… I know it'd make you uncomfortable." 

"Tell me Lily, do you love him?" 

"Not at all. I thought I did, but that was before I knew you." 

He nodded, "As long as you love me, I'll be happy for you." 

"I think you'll have to, because I know I'm going to be miserable." 

Severus shook his head, "No… You go on and marry that creep. Try to be happy… If you can't, just remember, Lord Voldemort's going to be gone soon and then we'll be able to be with each other. Don't worry about anything else. You're strong, Lil. I know you can do it." 

"God, I wish there was another way." Lily sighed, laying back down and pulling Severus with her. 

"We both do… The moment He's defeated, I'll go to you, sweep you off your feet, and take you away with me… The moment he's gone." 

"What about James? He wants an heir." 

Severus laughed, "An heir? Honey, you do what you've got to do. We'll take him or her with us, ok?" 

"You and James' child? Never." 

"It'd be yours, too. That makes up for Potter genes." 

Lily shook her head, "I just realized something." 

"What?" 

"I'm gonna be Lillian Maria Evans Snape Potter." 

Severus laughed, "That's quite a mouthful." 

"I'll say… Unfortunately, to the world it'll only be Lillian Maria Evans Potter." 

"Once we're together, you can drop the Potter." 

"Why do I have to take his name anyway?" 

"It's tradition, and doing otherwise might have others questioning you." 

"That's L.M.E.S.P. Five initials." 

Severus kissed her on the forehead, "Just go along with it… I think he really loves you, and if he does love you, I know you're in safe hands. That's all I could ask for." 

"I could just live with Remus." 

"Then I'd have to stop by once a month to protect you." 

"That settles it, I'm marrying Remus."   



	22. Tuning Down The Monster

snape22 Sorry this chapter's so short, but I had to get from one place in time to another... Quickly... And this seemed to be the best way. Also, it clears up a few things people have asked me about. Also, don't expect 10 chapters this weekend - it's my brothers' birthday, and they're having a party on Sunday I have to "chaperone" at. Also, finals are coming up. I have my English final Wednesday and my Guitar (yes, it's a class) final on Tuesday. I'll try my hardest though, ok? Ok. :o)   
Lana   
__

_ For the life of me, I can't figure out why I let him go… Or let him let me go. He insisted it was necessary, for the best if you must. God, I wish I could turn back time and warn him not to tell anyone… I don't blame him in the slightest. It's not his fault, if anything, it's mine for even letting something like that happen. Even if his father hadn't known, he would have eventually found out.___

_ I married him… I let my guard down for one moment and fell in love harder than I've ever been. James was a schoolgirl crush at first; who wouldn't want to date the cutest guy in the school? It took me only two years to let him sleep with me. I regret that more than anything else I've ever done now. He took advantage of me for three years before I realized exactly what was going on. I loathed him at first, but now I've come to realize that even he can tone down the monster and become human for a minute or two.___

_ I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him until we're married – a hard choice, but I figured that would require me to tell him where my room is, something I don't intend on doing, in fear of him showing up while Severus and I are together.___

_ Severus… I feel so guilty, it's unbelievable. He told me I was the only one he would ever marry, no matter what the circumstances were. Me being with James made it ten times more difficult to hear. I love him with everything I have and I would give up my whole life just to be with him. Each night I strain to hear him open the door, and when he does, it's like my whole world disappears and all that's left is him. He's my husband; it's a difficult concept for me to grasp, even after nearly seven months. We never lived together, unless my room counts. We started a family, but that opportunity was swept out from underneath us. Instead of killing our love, it made us grow stronger, the glue between us dries harder and harder until our minds and hearts are inseparable. It's almost as if I can read his mind… At night, when I feel his heart beating against mine, all I can think about is how much I wish time would stop and we'd be able to lay like that forever, melting into each other.___

_ We're a perfect fit; it's like I was made for him and he was made for me. He gives me strength and I give him hope, almost like a song. However, our life isn't a song, it's a nightmare. Each day I pray Voldemort will be defeated so I would be allowed to go back to Severus and live my life with him.___

_ I love James, but not like I love Severus. Not even a fraction of the love I hold for Severus belongs to James; however, as I am to marry him in a week, I have no choice but to love him as a wife should. He wants children; my loyalty to Severus doesn't allow me to try for a baby. If destiny should have it, however, I shall be grateful for being blessed with a child, no matter who the father is. Once I am married to James, Severus and I will not be able to see each other as often as we do now. The two men loathe each other with a passion; they hate each other so much they are unable to stay in the same room for more than two minutes together without an argument breaking out. As much as I love Severus, he does provoke James into fighting. James takes the bait however, which makes him just as responsible.___

_ Remus Lupin has been there every step of the way for me. Without him, I have no idea how I would have made it through. The night James proposed, I confided in Remus my thoughts and feelings. I was scared; I still am. Even now, my hand is shaking and I fear I will drop my quill. He is truly a good friend. I know I can count on him to be there if I need someone to talk to, if I need someone not to judge me and to listen to my thoughts and feelings with being biased.___

_ James believes he owns me, as if I am property. It is his way of loving me, for that was how his family was run. Severus knows he has my heart, shut up inside his own heart, racing next to one another. He has not experienced any other love except for me, and I fear if he finds another woman better than me, I shall be replaced. He swears there is no other, but he has yet to take part of the real world, alone and seemingly single.___

_ I am terrified to walk down that aisle. I have seven days until my life is at the fate of Lord Voldemort. He reins with such terror both Wizarding and Muggle worlds alike have never seen, at least not in this era. My grandfather is the leader of a small army of witches and wizards devoted to taking Voldemort down, stripping him of his life, power, and dignity. My only fear is he will attack Severus before I am able to live out my life with him; seven months together is nothing compared to the lifetime of love I expect to receive from him, and to give him in return.___

_ I shall love James as a devoted wife should, until the moment my true loyalties come into play. I will play along with the hand of cards Life has handed me, until it is my turn to pick from the deck. I shall be Lily Potter as best I can. However, I will always be Lily Snape at heart, even if no one knows. Keeping him a secret is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it is for the best. Letting him go shows how much I love him; allowing me to let him go shows how much he loves me. Both of us are equals in each other's eyes, and until the day I die, it shall stay that way.___

_ Lillian Snape, June 27th, 1978._   
__


	23. Forever And A Day

snape23 Sorry, it's kinda long... I tried to divide it into two chapters, but no kapeesh... Ahh, chapter 23, my lucky number.   
Lana   


It was final. The Hogwarts Class of 1978 graduated four days before the wedding between Lily and James. Severus was no longer under Dumbledore's watchful eyes, and the thought made him sick. Dreading the time when his Mark would turn black and burn his skin, he practiced the apparating and disapparating he had learned the previous summer diligently. He didn't speak to his father; any eye contact with him made Severus want to ring his neck, Azkaban or no Azkaban. 

The hour finally came when the two were summoned to the Dark Lord. Concealing his face and body with his cloak before Apparating with his father, he felt his insides squirm with anticipation. They appeared in a dingy, dust covered room filled with other Death Eaters. He looked around for Lord Voldemort, but was unable to find him. After five minutes of waiting, he finally made his presence known. 

"Death Eaters. Brothers. How long has it been? A month? Perhaps more? Please forgive me if I seem undoubtedly happy, for it is today we receive five new brothers. As they mature as wizards and reach their full potential, they shall replace their fathers before them. 

"As it has been a tradition, I will bestow upon these new members each their own unique gift; Some of you have the gift of concealment, in which Matthew Crabbe shall receive. He will now be able to hide from anyone he sees as a threat." As his name was spoken, a jet of red light from Voldemort's wand hit him with such force it nearly threw him backwards. This lasted not a moment, for soon the boy was standing proud and tall. 

"Marshall Goyle shall receive the gift of the Dementors; he shall be able to sense a life, no matter how belittled or weak it is. 

"Lucius Malfoy will have the gift of animosity; a certain attitude only a true Death Eater can control. 

"Peter Pettigrew shall receive the gift of Finding; wherever his prize maybe be, may it always stand out." 

Severus knew he was next; He was the fifth and final one. Shuddering slightly as the hooded figure turned towards him, he held his head tall and faced his Lord. 

"Severus Snape, you shall receive the girl of the Mind; You shall be able to both read and control minds at your whim without being detected. Use it well." 

Severus was surrounded by red light; He was radiating heat. He didn't feel a blow as the past four had demonstrated, only the sense of power. 

At once, voices invaded his head. Willing them to disappear, he quickly learned how to control his gift; it was either that or drive himself to the brink of insanity. 

He attempted to tune in to his father for a moment; he was instantly filled with pride and hope, along with a feeling he only felt for one person; love. 

He arrived at the Potter mansion promptly at 2 PM four days later, the designated time for the wedding guests to arrive. He was dressed in his best robes, his hair tied back and his boots newly polished. Wishing to see Lily before she walked down the aisle, he seeked her out for nearly a half hour before finding her in the garden, alone. 

He slowly walked up to her, a feeling of anticipation rising in his chest. He sat down next to her and set his hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. The moment he felt her skin beneath his own, he experienced a flood of emotions like he had never felt. 

Worry, misery, hopelessness, and happiness all at once. She looked up at him with tearful eyes, wiping away the last tear on her cheek. 

"You came." She whispered, glancing around the garden to make sure no one was listening. 

"Of course." Severus said, giving her a small hug. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

Lily sighed, "I sure wish I could." 

Severus shook his head, "Make your marriage a happy one… Don't make it miserable just because of me." 

"I'm already happily married… I don't need another husband." Lily said as softly as she could, holding her head in her hands. 

"Hey… Look up at me… That's a good girl. James is a strong man; he can take care of you and watch over you until the Dark Lord is defeated. Just never forget about me, that's all I ask of you. I promise, one day I'll come and get you." Severus wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her. The flood of emotions intensified; he could now hear her bawling and feel her body rock with ever sob. 

"I can't believe I'm doing this… After all you've done for me… I feel like such a bitch… I'm such a bad wife… I'm so, so sorry…" She buried her face into his shoulder, wetting his rich velvet cloak with tears. 

"Shh… It'll be ok… It's not your fault; it was never your fault. You just go up there today and marry James. Do that for me, if not for yourself. It's critical you do this Lily, or else we'll both be dead." Severus slowly rocked her back and forth. 

_ It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault…_

Her thoughts were coming in more clearly now to his mind, he could hear the words she was thinking. 

"No, it's not… Shh… It's not your fault…" 

She looked up at him for a moment, her green eyes overflowing. "How did you know what I was thinking?" 

Severus gave her a small smile. "Voldemort gave me the power to read minds. I can read yours, too, baby… Talk to me while you're walking down the aisle and I'll listen. Whatever you have to say, tell me and I promise I'll listen." 

Lily sniffed and nodded, raising her body up from Severus' embrace. "How long are we going to be like this?" 

"For as long as we need to be. Be strong, Lily, I know you can." 

He walked into the church and sat at one of the last piers on the right – Lily's side. Down the aisle, he could see James and Sirius standing next to Dumbledore, who was holding a small book. He looked for Remus, but before he could find him, Remus sat next to Severus. Nodding in greeting, Severus once again tried out his new power.__

_ Poor guy… Why can't you say anything, Remus? Tell him you know, tell him you're sorry, tell him he can talk to you any time he wants… Just tell him…_

Remus took in a deep breath, "Severus, I'm sorry about all of this." 

Severus shook his head, "There was nothing you could do." 

"I wish there was… She loves you; she's spent each moment with James trying to get away from his touch. It makes her sick; she told me so." 

Severus nodded, "Thank you Remus." 

Remus looked down for a moment, then allowed his brown ones to gaze up towards Severus' black ones. "I know about you and Lily." 

Severus nodded, "Did she tell you?" 

"Only after I figured it out for myself." 

"Good, I would have wanted you to know." 

Remus gave him the smallest of smiles before turning to the entrance when the music started, where Lily was standing there, ready to walk. 

_ Severus… Help me… I don't think I can do this, but I'll try to be strong. He hasn't hit me for nearly a year, but he still scares me. I don't know how to escape. Stand up and take me away from this place; I see you out of the corner of my eye, but I can't look at you in fear of someone finding out. Why does this aisle have to be so long? It's nearly fifty steps; I counted last night.___

_ He's looking at me… Why is he looking at me? Of course, silly me. He thinks I'm walking down this aisle for him… Thirty more steps… I'm doing this for you, Severus. Don't forget that. I love you, and tonight I'll be thinking of you instead of this monster who's dubbed me his wife. Ten more steps… Five… Three… Oh God, please help me Severus…_

Dumbledore looked up from the book and gave Severus one quick, but meaningful look. He then looked back at the couple standing before him, a somber expression on his face. 

"Today, July 4th, 1978, shall reside in your minds as the day you two have joined together to form the strongest bond there is; the bond of marriage." 

_ Only with you, Severus… Only with you…_

"It pleases me greatly to see such young lovers proving their love and appreciation for one another in front of their friends and families." 

_ Tell him I can't do this… Tell Papa I feel sick…_

"Dearly beloved, we gather here today to join these two young people in the bond of marriage. Forever it lasts, for there is no cure for Love." 

_ Help me Severus… I hate him…_ Severus felt his insides boil as he saw her, shaking slightly, try to pull her hand away from James' tight grasp. 

"…in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part, you shall me. Are there any objections? Speak now, or forever hold you peace." 

_ Object, Severus… Run away with me… Help me… Please, object… _His mind was going crazy now, as Remus held firmly onto his shoulder to prevent him from standing up. He silently thanked him, wondering if his body would have done so if it had not been restrained. 

"James Lee Potter, do you take Lillian Maria Evans to be your lawfully wedded wife?"   
  
_ He forgot Snape…_

"I do." 

"And do you, Lillian Maria Evans, take James Lee Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?" 

_ No, I don't… Don't make me do this… I don't, you're my husband, Severus… Help…_

"I do." 

_ Oh God, help me… I can't handle this…_

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. James, you may kiss the bride." 

Severus turned away from the site, but his mind was still connected with Lily's. 

_ No… He's awful, I can't breathe… When is this going to end? Make it stop, Severus… Please…_

"May I present you Mr. and Mrs. James Potter." Dumbledore nodded to the two, who quickly turned around and walked back down the aisle, hand-in-hand.__

_ Tell me I'm dreaming… Tell me this is all a dream… Why couldn't he have been you, Severus? God… I'm so sorry… I love you so much…_

Severus gave her a look of sympathy as she passed him, and in return he received a look of terror. 

_ You see me now… Help me… Take me away… Tell Papa I didn't mean it…_

Severus shook his head as she thought this, making sure she could see. She gave him one last look of sorrow combined with adoration, then walked through the double doors leading out into the bright sunlight. 

_ Goodbye Severus… I'll see you soon… And I love you._

_ I love you too, Lily, _Severus thought miserably, _I love you too._


	24. Trial By Fire

snape24 Yay, new chapter... and one hundred reviews. Wow. You know how happy that makes me? Thank you, all of you guys. Especially those who have been following the story since I put it up... For what, a whole two weeks, maybe? :o) Enjoy the chapter.   
Lana   
  


"I can't believe that jackass turned up… I thought for sure he was going to ruin the wedding." 

Nearly forty-eight hours after James and Lily were wed, he was still complaining about the fact Severus had shown up. Lily merely shook her head, not wanting to set James off again. 

The two were now in Godric's Hollow, in a small cottage James had picked out. They had moved in the day previous, much to Lily's dismal. 

"When is Dumbledore calling that meeting?" James asked. The two were a part of her grandfather's group now, the "good" version of the Death Eaters, along with Severus, Minerva McGonagall, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. 

"Tonight, 9 PM, over in room 221 in the Leaky Cauldron." Lily answered non-chantey. 

"Good. When I see that slimy bastard, he's going to get hell for coming." 

Lily shook her head, "James, he didn't do anything. He broke up with me because he wanted to see you and I together… Maybe it was his way of getting closure." Over the past seven months, lying had become her strong point. 

James pondered this thought for a moment, then finally sighed. "Only because you say so, Lily. Don't expect me to be civil, but I won't hurt him." 

"Thank you." She said quietly. For the past two days, she had been as miserable as she had ever been. The Dark Lord was nowhere near defeat; he was at the height of his powers, and using them every chance he got. She had to tolerate James as long as he was around, and at the time it seemed like he would be there forever.   
  


They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron a quarter to nine at quickly made their way up to room 221, where Dumbledore was sitting with Severus and Remus. 

"Where's everyone else?" James asked, taking a seat as far away from Severus as possible. Lily gave Severus a sorrowful glance, and then took her place next to James. 

_ I'm sorry… He's an asshole._

Severus smirked and nodded slightly, and then looked away from her back towards Dumbledore. They waited until Sirius, Peter, Arabella, Minerva, and Mungdungus showed up, nearly ten minutes later. 

"Good, now that we're all here… Arabella, Mundungus, Minerva, as you can see we have many new additions. Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James and Lily Potter." 

Arabella and Mundungus said their hellos, receiving greetings right back, while Minerva merely greeted them in a teacherly fashion. 

_ They both look old enough to be our parents._

Once again, Severus nodded slightly, trying not to look in her direction. He felt a separate pair of eyes on him, and turning in the direction of Peter, he saw the pudgy man's face etched with fear. 

"May I remind you all of why we are here; we are here to deft Lord Voldemort. Each of us has a different reason, and although we do not know each other's reason, I am sure you will respect it and all the people in the room. 

"We have two spies against Lord Voldemort – Severus and Peter, both of whom are in his inner circle. They are risking their lives, sanity, and loved ones – " Dumbledore shot Severus a look when he said this, "- to help our cause. Through them, we will receive information that one day may lead to Voldemort's downfall and possible destruction. Have you two found out anything yet?" 

Severus cleared his throat, "There are five new Death Eaters, three besides ourselves. Lucius Malfoy, Matthew Crabbe, and Marshall Goyle. The others I am unaware of." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Good. Is there anything you would like to add?" 

Much to Severus' surprise, Peter spoke up. "We- we've each received special powers, unique to ourselves. I have the power of finding, while Severus-" 

"-would not like to discuss his." Severus finished for Peter, giving him a look of warning. Shrinking back into his chair, Peter looked down at his feet, not saying a word. 

"Very well, we can not force you." 

_ Smart ass._

Severus grinned, "Fine. I have the power to read and control minds, only one of which I'm listening to right now." 

Dumbledore smiled and he had a twinkle in his eyes, "And who might that be?" 

_ Me._

"I can't tell you, in fear of being found out." 

He was trying his hardest not to laugh now, while Dumbledore smiled and nodded. 

"As long as you're not tapping into anything you shouldn't be." 

Severus shook his head, "No sir. The person knows, and they are being quiet sarcastic at the moment." 

"Listen to me a minute, Severus." Dumbledore requested. Severus nodded. 

_ Good way to stay in touch with Lily… I couldn't have thought of a better way myself._

Severus smiled, "Thank you sir." 

_ What did he say about me?_ Lily demanded. 

Severus shook his head, realizing the whole room was starring at his with disbelief. 

"You lucky bastard." Sirius laughed, leaning back in his chair with his eyes on Severus. 

"Can we please continue?" Severus asked, looking up towards Dumbledore. 

"Yes, yes… of course." Dumbledore took of his glasses for a moment and wiped them with his robes, then set them back on his crooked nose. "If you two hear anything, and I mean anything, please alert me right away. You two are the keys to riding the wizarding world of Lord Voldemort." 

Peter and Severus nodded in unison, then exchanged glances. Severus didn't trust Peter in the least and was having a difficult time hiding it. 

The meeting continued for only ten more minutes, and as the group broke apart, Severus listened to Lily one last time. 

_ I'm in Godric's Hollow now… If I need you, I'll owl you, but so far he's being good. I love you, goodbye._

Severus smiled and nodded, feeling Lily's eyes upon him. He Apparated back to his father's house, where he was waiting impatiently. 

"Where on Earth have you been?" Severus' father demanded. 

"None of your damned business." Severus replied, shooting a warning glance towards his father. 

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me. Where were you?" 

"I was at the Leaky Cauldron, having a drink. I didn't know that was against the law, sorry." He drawled sarcastically, while walking up a flight of stairs. He ignored his father's reply and went directly to his end of the mansion, where his study, bedroom, and toilet were. Laying down on his large four poster bed, he sighed and attempted to crack his back. After a moment of so of being unable to do so, he gave up and looked at the photo of Lily besides his bed. 

"Godric's Hollow… Where the Snitch was invented." He smiled for a moment; "James must love it there. I'm sure you hate it though. You always did look down upon Quidditch. Not that I blame you; it wasn't my sport either." He sighed, then turned his head back into a comfortable position on his pillow. "Goodnight, Lily." 

With that, he closed his eyes, not bothering to take off his robes, and quickly drifted off to sleep, Lily's thoughts still echoing in his head.   



	25. How Long?

snape25 Hey there, new chapter... Yay. Today's my brothers' birthday, they're having a party with twenty kids... Guess who gets to watch them all? Uh huh, yep. June 3rd is the worst day that ever exists... I have my reasons for thinking that. Anyway, the * * is written in Lily's POV, just because it was late and I accidentally switched from the 3rd person to first person... but ended up liking it... so... yeah. Enjoy.   
Lana   


Christmas was coming. Lily had adjusted to her life with James in Godric's Hollow, however she still thought of Severus as often as she breathed. She saw him perhaps once or twice a month, but she never had any time alone with him. Their first anniversary was coming up, and Lily wanted nothing more than to be able to spend the day with him. 

James was insistent upon them having a Christmas tree and decorations up all over the house. Lily was in charge of all of this, even though she didn't feel any desire to be festive. 

James wanted a child, but Lily insisted they wait until they had truly settled down and grown accustomed to married life. Secretly, she was bidding her time, trying to outlast the Dark Lord. She was a key player in trying to destroy his powers; she spent long hours trying to come up with ways to possibly stripe him of his powers, and she worked with James to come up with a counter curse to Avada Kedavra. They were on the brink of discovering a way to shield them from it, but had not yet truly discovered a counter curse. 

* 

He woke me up Christmas morning, insisting I f-ck him before we go downstairs for breakfast. I can't use PMS as an excuse; he knows my schedule. Waiting for me on the kitchen table was a dozen red roses and a necklace with a silver dragon hanging from it. They were both beautiful, and being the devoted wife I was supposed to be, I hugged and kissed James, thanking him for the gifts. All I had gotten him was a new cloak and a set of books I knew he would enjoy. Being the devoted husband he thought he was, he hugged and kissed me, thanking me for the gifts. I smiled and pretended to enjoy the day, which was filled with hot chocolate, dancing, and friends. Remus, Peter, and Sirius stopped by at one point, and it was my job to make them comfortable. 

Before Remus left, he gave me a note from Severus. I didn't dare open it until I was alone in the bathroom, in fear of James finding out. With shaking hands, I opened it and hungrily devoured the contents. 

_ Dear Lily,___

_ Merry Christmas baby. All I'm thinking of right now, at this very moment, is you and your lovely face. I hope you're enjoying your day with James. I know he's treating you well; Everytime I get lonely, I listen to what you're thinking. You always make me smile, Lil. I love you more than you will ever know, never forget that.___

_ Tomorrow is our anniversary, as I'm hoping you remember. If you didn't, that's ok. I understand. I want to see you, but I don't know how to make that possible. Believe me, if I could think of a way to possibly do that, it would be done in a heartbeat.___

_ We rarely ever get the chance to speak to one another, and each time we do, we're always surrounded by people. I just wanted you to know I still love you and always will. The Dark Lord will be defeated, for as much as he likes to think it, he is not immortal yet. Damned close, but not yet.___

_ Think of me tomorrow… I'll be listening to you all day, as that's the only way I stay sane. Remember, I love you.___

_ Yours Forever,___

_ Severus_

* 

Lily wiped a tear that was rolling down her cheek, and blew her nose as quietly as possible. She read the letter as many times as it took to memorize every word, every curve, every "love" written down. Afterwards, she conjured up a small fire and burned it, flushing down the contents. Crying softly to herself, she left the bathroom and climbed into the bed she shared with James. Turning away from James, she curled up into a ball and didn't allow James to hold her as he wished. Careful not to make a sound, she cried herself to sleep, wishing there was a way for her and Severus to be together. Knowing it was impossible made the situation ten times worse. 

The next day, her grandfather owled her asking her to show up at the Leaky Cauldron at noon, without James. He said he had a task she alone could do, so she Apparated there at a quarter to noon. 

She spotted her grandfather quickly, and ran over to talk to him. She had only sat down for a moment before Dumbledore waved her up, motioning for her to follow him. Numbly and silently, she followed him up a rickety old staircase and into room 305. 

"Merry Christmas, Lily." Dumbledore smiled as he opened the door, revealing a very confused but happy looking Severus. 

"Oh my… Severus!" Lily ran into his open arms, showering his face with kisses. She vaguely heard the door close and lock behind her, but took no notice. 

"Lily… baby… God it's good to see you…" Severus breathed, kissing her back. After a moment, the two parted, both red faced and breathless. 

"Do you think.. Is this right…?" Severus asked, laying Lily down next to him. 

"Damn it, Severus… We're married. Get that through your head." Lily smiled, kissing his forehead. 

_ Besides, I've been praying for this for six months now… You are not going to let me down._

Severus laughed, "I won't, I promise." 

It was unlike anything Lily and Severus had ever experienced; it was a combination of pent up love, lust, anger, frustration, and aggression. Clutching his body tight, Lily prayed as hard as she could for time to stop, for them to be able to stay like this forever. 

"God, I wish so too…" Severus kissed her gently, pulling her as close as possible. 

She left late that night, after nearly twelve hours of being with Severus. She was exhausted, and she knew James would be worrying by now. As she gave Severus one last kiss, she Apparated back to Godric's Hollow, where James was sleeping on their couch, wrapped up in a quilt he received from his mother. 

Lily quickly transported James back upstairs to their bed, where she undressed and climbed in next to him. Thoughts of Severus were still running through her head; she could still feel him all over her. She avoided contact with James, in fear of the feeling of Severus disappearing from her body. She slowly drifted to sleep, her mind still cluttered with the sounds of his voice and breathing, the touch of his fingertips, and the feeling of his lips upon hers. She smiled at the thought, finally understanding why she was with James; to be with James was her ticket to being with Severus for the rest of her life. They would grow old together, have as many children as possible, and share as many memories as a Pensive could hold, perhaps even more.   



	26. Fraternizing With The Enemy

snape26 Ok, someone asked me if Peter would have snitched on Severus... Of course he would have, but I didn't think of it, so thank you 'gurl'. :o) Just a reminder, Harry's born in July of 1980, and I'm still in 1978 as of now. The end of 1978, but still 1978. Their little "escapade" couldn't have produced Harry, seeing as how it would have had to happen in October or November of 1979. *sigh* It would be cool if Harry was Severus' kid though, wouldn't it? Freaky, but cool.   
Lana   
  


Severus woke up with a start the next morning, sitting up and breathing heavily before he realized someone was in the room with him. He quickly bowed his head and stood up. 

"My Lord." He said quickly, bowing slightly. 

"Severus." Voldemort acknowledged him. "I know of your relations with that Lily Potter girl. Explain to me why you went against my direct orders and are still with her." 

Severus froze. "Sir, she is part of your enemy, Dumbledore's, group. I thought for sure the quickest way to him would to still think I was in love with her." 

Voldemort nodded slowly, accepting the idea. "And I see that you've been sneaking around my back, to these little 'meetings' of his." 

"Only to gather information and to make sure they were still had no idea how to attempt to defeat you." Severus felt his insides squirm. 

"Why didn't you check with me first?" Voldemort demanded. 

"I am but a humble servant of yours, my Lord. To approach you would be to think too highly of myself." Severus spoke in a quivering voice. Voldemort seemed to accept this, a twisted smile appearing on his face. 

"Very well, but must I remind you to clear your plans with me beforehand?" Voldemort raised his wand and muttered "Crucio!" 

Severus felt intense, white-hot pain shoot throughout his body. He vaguely felt himself crash to the floor, his body twitching. It was pain as he had never experienced, and he caught himself wishing he would die on the spot. Almost as immediate as it had came, the pain left his body, leaving him shaking and panting on the hard, wooden floor. 

"Let this be a reminder to you of why you are to listen to me, not go by your own rules. Until we meet again." 

With a puff of purple smoke, Voldemort disappeared on the spot. Severus shook his head, his joints aching and his body screaming as he carefully stood up. He quickly realized his legs wouldn't support him, and he fell back onto his bed, his mind caving in to the sudden exhaustion he felt.   
  


He didn't know how long he slept; all he could think about was telling Dumbledore what had happened. The moment he came to his sense, he wrote Dumbledore a letter and sent it with his owl, Boaz. He then stayed up in his room, listening to Lily to keep himself sane.__

_ Damn it… James, you just had to drink last night, didn't you? Jesus f-cking Christ, and you expect me to clean up your mess… That's just great._

Severus laughed internally at her frustrated voice filtering through his head. 

_ It's four in the afternoon, why isn't he up yet? I cured his headache and he hasn't thrown up for nearly five hours… Severus would never do this, why the hell did I have to end up with James?_

She was as pissed off as he was, and Severus was glad to hear it. Knowing he wasn't alone in this made him feel a lot better, especially knowing it was Lily. 

_ Mail time… Bill, bill, Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and… Papa? What the hell?_

"He must have received my letter… Wonderful." Severus said to himself, drawing idly on a piece of parchment next to his bed. 

_ Shit… Voldemort got Severus… Damn it… Damn it all to hell… Severus, if you're listening, God I hope you're ok…_

"Yes, I am, thank you for asking." Severus said, taking a drink of water. 

_ I'm sorry… God… Last night was wonderful, thank you… God, I hope you're ok…_

"Yes it was. I'd like to do it again sometime." Chuckling to himself, Severus closed his eyes. "Too bad your bitchy little husband thinks I'm the devil reincarnate." 

_ If he did anything to you… I'll kill him, I don't care how impossible it is to kill him… He's going to die… God…_

"Calm down Lil, I'm fine… Just a little –" he reached behind him back and tried to crack it, "- sore." 

_ That's it… I'm going to Apparate to you, ok? I don't care if anyone finds out…_

Severus sat up straight, "Lily… damnit, no…" 

It was too late. He saw her appear in front of his bed with a worried expression on her face. 

"Lily baby, I told you not to come." He smiled and tried to stand up. When he fell back onto his bed, he sighed and scooted over so she could sit next to him. 

"Well I didn't hear you." Lily smiled, kissing his forehead. "Are you ok?" 

Severus nodded, "Just peachy." 

"Severus…" Lily warned, giving him a suspicious look. 

"Fine, fine… I ache all over, my legs aren't supporting me, and I cracked my back louder than a whip." 

Lily's smile dropped, "Aww… I'm sorry baby." She gave him a hug, then pulled out her wand. "You want me to fix you up?" 

Severus nodded, "That'd be nice." 

In a moment's time, a golden stream of light shot from her wand and surrounded him. He instantly felt the pain in his body disappear, and he was filled with energy. He then stood up and stretched his arms a bit. 

"Thanks Lil." He kissed her quickly, "But you really shouldn't be here." 

She sighed, "I know, I know… I just wanted to make sure you were ok." 

Severus' face melted into a smile, "And I thank you for it." He thought for a moment, and then looked up into her green eyes. "How would you like to be able to read minds?" 

Lily was shocked. "But isn't that against the rules?" 

Severus smirked, "Please… As long as you don't abuse it, you'll be fine. I just want to talk to you more than once or twice a month, for ten seconds." 

Lily thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Ok." 

Severus stepped up to her, then touched her face with the palm of his hand. He then leaned down to kiss her, while transferring his power to her. 

"Holy shit…" Lily's eyes widened as they broke apart. "How do you make them all stop?" 

"Just concentrate on one person and you'll be able to zero in on them and them alone." Severus instructed, backing away from her a few steps. She closed her eyes, then smiled. 

_ I can hear you._

_ Oh really?_ Severus replied, _What am I saying right now then?_

Lily laughed out loud, "Silly." 

_ I know. Now get out of here before someone finds you._

He gave her one last hug as she started to Apparate, then settled back down on his bed, sighing. 

D_oes this mean I'm going to have to watch what I think? _he asked.__

_ Of course. It's my job to keep tabs on you.___

_ Being the lovely wife you are, I expect you to.___

_ Good, now please excuse me while I wake the beast up.___

_ Have fun.___

_ Trust me, I will._   
  



	27. Places Unknown

snape27 Sorry this is so short and unmeaningful, but I have to add it in order to set up the rest of the story. It's a short chapter, but you get to see a slightly different side of James. Does that make up for it?   
Lana   


Unbeknownst to everyone but them, Lily and Severus communicated nearly every waking hour. Severus gave her blow-by-blow accounts of his Death Eater meetings, while Lily told him exactly how James treated her and what the rest of his friends were saying. It wasn't any surprise to Severus that everyone except Remus hated him; he was proud, actually, to be the Marauder's greatest enemy. 

The two got to see each other once or twice a month, when Dumbledore held his meetings. Severus knew Peter couldn't be trusted one hundred percent, but when he tried to tell Dumbledore this, all he did was nod his head and agree. However, as Peter was providing them with information Severus himself could verify, they didn't see any reason to suspect him as a spy. 

The year slowly dragged on with no significant gains for Dumbledore's group. The Death Eaters, however, slowly gained power everywhere they went. Severus made sure he never killed anyone, but when it was absolutely necessary, he performed one of the other two Unforgivable Curses. Every time the word "Crucio!" passed through his lips, the white-hot pain came back to him in the form of a memory. He always regretted having to use them; however, it was essential for him to, as Lord Voldemort would know if he had shown any kind of mercy. 

He ached to see Lily; she knew this, as he often told her he needed to see her. The year passed without one word being uttered to one another through their lips, but the chance came for them to see each other once again in late October. 

Lily Apparated in front of Hogwarts, right on the edge of the property. She then walked up towards the castle, past Hagrid's hut, past the lake, past the Herbology classrooms, and up into the Entrance Hall. She then made her way up to the entrance of her grandfather's office, getting a few strange glances from some of the students. She mumbled a few passwords at the gargoyle, finally getting the right one with "pumpkin pastries". She then climbed the winding staircase to the large oak doors, the knocked twice. 

"Come in." Dumbledore answered. Lily opened the door slowly, smiling at the site of her Papa. 

"Hello Papa." She said, closing the door behind her. 

"Lily! What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?" Dumbledore smiled, offering her a seat. 

Lily looked down at her hands, trying not to think. "I want to know if you could come up with a way for Severus and me to have a few days together. I haven't talked to him in nearly a year, and I miss him terribly." 

Dumbledore paused for a moment, and then looked up at her. "I could call both you and him away, and you could tell James it was for research, perhaps. Do not tell him Severus is going with you. I shall make arrangements for you two to be alone for three days. No more than that, or else James might get suspicious. I will make sure no one will be able to find you, but make sure it is only for three days." 

Lily grinned ear-to-ear. "Yes, Papa. Thank you so much!" She reached over his desk to hug the old man. 

He sighed, "Lily, whatever you do, don't do anything you might regret." 

She paused, "What do you mean by that?" 

"You know the facts of life just as well as I do. The last thing anyone needs is for you to get pregnant, especially with Severus' child. You will be killed, along with it. I can guarantee you that. I am only doing this for you because you two are married; use your time well. Just be safe, ok Lil?" 

Lily nodded, "Yes Papa. Thank you again." She gave him one last hug, then made her way out of the office and back to the edge of the Hogwarts property. She then Apparated back to Godric's Hollow, where James was waiting for her. 

"Where have you been?" He demanded. 

"I went to visit Papa." Lily answered, trying to ignore the feeling of James' eyes upon her. 

"Why didn't you clear it with me first?" James insisted, "It's the full moon. I'm leaving in a few hours and I was afraid I might not make it, because I didn't know where you were." 

"You could have gone with Remus instead of wait here. You didn't have to wait." Lily answered, crossing her arms. 

"Yes Lily, I did. With Voldemort running around, I can't take the chance of leaving without knowing where you were. You're my wife, I love you Lil." He moved towards her, and then kissed her forehead. "I'd die if I knew you were in danger and I couldn't help you." 

"I'm ok… Really. I just wanted to talk to Papa, and he said he had a mission for me. He wants me to go away for a few days to do some research. He didn't tell me what it was about or when I was leaving, all he told me was it was important I went alone." 

James' body tensed up. "Is anyone going with you?" 

"Papa said he'd go. It's not dangerous or anything, he just thought I might like to do something." Lily sighed, "It's not like I'm much of a help at those meetings. Everyone else pitches in, but I never know what to say." 

James nodded slowly, "As long as Dumbledore says it's not dangerous. But I want you to Apparate back her immediately if you feel even remotely unsafe." 

"Ok, I will." Lily agreed. "But Papa would never put me in danger, so you won't have anything to worry about." 

James sighed, "As long as he's sure."   
  



	28. When The World Ends

snape28 I love the Dave Matthews Band... Well, their new album anyway. As most of your wishes start to unfold, "When the World Ends" is the official theme. Enjoy.   
Lana   
  


Lily spent November 1st-3rd with Severus, in a small French motel, much like the Leaky Cauldron. Unfortunately, they didn't speak a bit of French and the owners and staff didn't speak any English. They were left alone for the most part, however a nosy maid dropped by twice a day. 

"Remind me to buy your Papa a very large, expensive gift." Severus smiled, lying in bed with Lily next to him. 

"It was almost as if he knew we wanted this…" Lily murmured, reflecting back on her conversation with him. "Do you think he can read minds also?" 

Severus shrugged, pulling her closer. "It really wouldn't surprise me. Your Papa's a great man, Lily. He knows many things we will never know nor could ever imagine." 

"Yeah…" she sighed, "How long do you think it's going to be before we'll see each other like this again?" 

"You mean naked and in bed?" 

Lily smacked his arm, "No! Well…" She thought for a moment, "Ok, fine. Naked and in bed." 

"Feel free to stop by anytime." Severus grinned, "I have my own lovely part of the Snape mansion… Father isn't allowing me to move out until my 21st birthday." 

"That's two more years." Lily sighed, "Do you think He'll be defeated by then?" 

"One can only hope." Severus kissed her forehead. "You know, as long as there's a world to be conquered and saved from being conquered, I'm going to love you, so it wouldn't matter anyway." 

Lily smiled, burying her face into Severus' shoulder. _Every night I go to sleep with James next to me, I try to imagine he's you. It never works though; your touch, your smell, your affection is totally different. Even when I'm asleep I can still feel him, and I get this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. But when I'm with you, you make that all go away. I make time want to stop when I'm with you. I want to stay with you forever, to wake up with you each morning, to be able to know you're right there if I have a nightmare… Even though I know, for now, it's impossible, I still wish as hard as I can each night that it will._

Severus didn't answer for a moment. Closing his eyes, he pictured waking up to Lily each day, having her next to him as he slept, and he felt complete joy and ecstasy. 

_ That felt good… _Lily thought as his feelings transferred over to her. 

_ You liked it? Because that's how I'd feel with you… How I _DO_ feel with you._

_ Well this is how I feel… _A moment later, Severus was filled with warmth and he felt as complete as he had ever felt. _Combine that with your feelings, and you've got it._

Severus smiled. "You know, I almost feel sorry for James. He's all alone in England while his wife is here with her other husband, wishing her marriage to him never happened." 

Lily smirked and looked up at him. "Almost." 

"Yes, almost." 

She wrapped her arms around him, "Because it is impossible to truly feel sorry for him. He could have had any other girl in the country, instead he choose the one that didn't love him back. It was his own stupid mistake, but you have to give him credit for being brave enough to take me back and you dealt with me." 

Severus smirked, "After I dealt with you? How'd I deal with you?" 

"According to him, you're a slimy, soulless bastard who dumped me in my 'time of need', whatever he meant by that." Lily breathed in, "I believe you did quite the opposite, actually." 

"I'd love to be able to tell him we're married… See the expression on his face. It'd be worth everything." 

Lily laughed, "Now I almost feel sorry for him. He does love me and he's starting to learn how to show it. A slow, timely process, but I bet you the moment he has it down to an art, the Dark Lord will be defeated. Then I'd run away with you, his mortal enemy, and the bomb would be dropped… Oh, the look on his face…" 

Both she and Severus were now in hysterics, laughing as loud as they ever had. After a minute or two, they stopped, both trying to catch their breath. 

"With my luck, he'd actually be starting to like me, too… I better not be present, or your Papa might have to be there. You'd need another witness to confirm my death in court." 

Lily groaned, "You just had to mention Papa, didn't you? Severus, I'm naked!" 

Severus pulled up the sheets and looked at her for a moment, then dropped them once more and nodded. 

"You most certainly are." 

Lily threw back her head and laughed once more. "How very observant of you, Mr. Snape." 

"Well, Mrs. Snape, I must say, it's quite a lovely sight." 

"Mrs. Snape… Hmm… I like the sound of that. Mrs. Potter makes me sound old and gray and wrinkled." Lily thought for a moment, "Yep, definitely Snape." 

"Hey, I was there first, you'd better like my name better." 

"Trust me, I do."   
  
They were silent for a moment, then Lily spoke up once more. "So, you think me being naked is 'quite a lovely sight'?" 

Severus nodded, "Much better than all the other girls I've been with." 

Lily's mouth dropped open in mock shock. "Well, you're all mine, so all those other girls are just going to have to deal with the wrath of Lily Maria Evans Snape Potter." 

"That's still quite a mouthful." 

"Tell me about it… Each time I have to sign my full name, I only write my first and James' last name, even though it really should be Lily Evans-Snape-Potter." 

Severus grinned, "We'll take care of that problem soon enough." 

"Good, because… Potter? Why in the world did he have to have the last name Potter?" she sighed, "Snape's much better." 

Severus nodded, "I believe we've been over this once or twice before, Lily." 

She nodded, "Do you realize we're only 19? I've been 5 months pregnant, you're a Death Eater, we're both fairly well known among the wizarding world… Only the best for Papa's team." 

Severus smiled, "Unfortunately… I'd rather be a complete nobody, even a Squib, if I could be with you." 

Lily poked his stomach, "Well big shot, right now you are, so make it last." 

Severus kissed her, "If the end of the world comes, I'm gonna be with you, even if it means stealing you away from James… If the end of the world ever comes, you're gonna be with me, and we're gonna make it last forever." 

"That would be nice…" Lily murmured, kissing him back. "But right now, I want you, and I don't think I'll be able to wait until the end of the world." 

"As you wish…"__

_When the world ends_   
_Collect your things_   
_You're coming with me_   
_When the world ends_   
_You tuckle up yourself with me_   
_Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing_   
_The day the world is over_   
_We'll be lying in bed___

_I'm gonna rock you like a baby when the cities fall_   
_We will rise as the building's crumble_   
_Float there and watch it all_   
_Amidst the burning, we'll be churning_   
_You know, love will be our wings_   
_The passion rises up from the ashes_   
_When the world ends___

_When the world ends_   
_You're gonna come with me_   
_We're going to be crazy_   
_Like a river bends_   
_We're going to float_   
_Through the criss cross of the mountains_   
_Watch them fade to nothing_   
_When the world ends_   
_You know that's what's happening now_   
_I'm going to be there with you somehow, oh...___

_I'm going to tie you up like a baby in a carriage car_   
_Your legs won't work cause you want me so_   
_You just lie spread to the wall_   
_ The love you got is surely_   
_All the love that I would ever need_   
_I'm going to take you by my side_   
_And love you tall, 'til the world ends___

_Oh, but don't you worry about a thing_   
_No, 'cause I got you here with me_   
_Don't you worry about a_   
_Just you and me_   
_Floating through the empty, empty_   
_Just you and me_   
_Oh, graces_   
_Oh, grace___

_Oh, when the world ends_   
_We'll be burning one_   
_When the world ends_   
_We'll be sweet makin' love_   
_Oh, you know when the world ends_   
_I'm going to take you aside and say_   
_Let's watch it fade away, fade away_   
_And the world's done_   
_Ours just begun_   
_It's done_   
_Ours just begun___

_We're gonna dive into the emptiness_   
_We'll be swimming_   
_I'm going to walk you through the pathless roads_   
_I'm going to take you to the top of the mountain that's no longer there_   
_I'm going to take you to bed and love you, I swear_   
_Like the end is here___

_I'm going to take you up to_   
_I'm going to take you down on you_   
_I'm going to hold you like an angel, angel___

_I'm going to love you_   
_I'm going to love you_   
_When the world ends_   
_I'm going to hold you_   
_When the world is over_   
_We'll just be beginning...*___

_*Dave Matthews Band, "When the World Ends"_   
__


	29. Paying Tribute To The Porcelain Gods

snape29 The part you've all been waiting for.... I think... It's up. Yay! Enjoy.   
Lana   
  


A month and a half later, Lily woke up with a start. Breathing heavily, she made her way to the toilet in record time. She then paid tribute to the porcelain gods for nearly five minutes before she felt a pair of hand pull her vomit-laced hair back from her face. 

Leaning up against the wall, she wiped her mouth with a towel James had provided. She wearily looked up towards him, her eyes watering. 

"Baby, are you ok?" James asked, sitting down next to her. 

"No… I just spent five minutes puking up yesterday's meals." She sighed, "I'm tired… What time is it?" 

"A quarter of six. Do you want to go back to bed?" James asked, helping her up. 

"Yeah…" Lily walked with shaking legs back to their bed and laid down. Not caring she was on James' side, she curled up into a ball, taking in the warmth he had left. He came back a moment later with a cup full of water, offering it to her. She drank gladly, her eyelids drooping. 

"Thanks James." She mumbled, lying back down on his pillow. 

"You're welcome baby." James said, lying in her spot. "Are you feeling any better?" 

Lily nodded, "Yeah, a little." 

"Good… Now go back to sleep." 

"G'night James." 

"Good night, Lily baby." 

The two woke up four hours later, Lily's illness still fresh in James' mind. 

"James, honey, I'm fine… Really. You don't need to wait on me hand and foot." Lily smiled as James rushed around, conjuring up toast and fried eggs. "Although it is nice." 

He looked over at her and smiled, "Just sit there. You've always been the one to make breakfast, and you're sick now, so it's my turn." 

"If you insist." Lily leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.__

_ Good morning, Severus.___

_ Morning Lil… Don't tell me you just woke up?___

_ Rough night.___

_ Are you ok? Did you have a nightmare? Did James do anything to you?_

Lily suppressed a laugh, _I'm fine. I just threw up a quarter after six, that's all. James is currently bustling around the kitchen, making me breakfast._

_ James? Bustling? Take a picture. Are you sure you're ok?___

_ Yes, I'm fine. It was awful though, a full five minutes._

There was silence for a moment as James set a plate of eggs in front of her. "Thanks baby." 

"You're welcome." 

Lily took a bite and was pleasantly surprised at the taste. "These are good." 

James laughed, "What did you expect?" 

"Worse than this." Lily admitted, taking another bite. _As you were saying.___

_ Do you have the flu?___

_ No, thank God. I just got a little nausea, that's all. It happens.___

_ If you're sure… Father's expecting me downstairs soon, so I'll have to end this conversation for now. Keep me informed and tell me if you get any worse.___

_ I will… Bye, Sev.___

_ Bye love, have a good day.___

_ You too._

"When's the next meeting with Dumbledore?" James asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

"A few weeks. Are your friends coming over for Christmas again?" 

James nodded, "Yes. Can you believe Sirius has another girlfriend?" 

Lily grinned, "How many is that? Twelve, thirteen maybe since we last saw him?" 

"Since you last saw him," James corrected, "The full moon was two weeks ago." 

"Ahh, ok… I must have slept through it, sorry." Lily apologized. "You know, I think I've got an idea for the counter curse. Remember how we were talking about a spell set on the person before hand? Maybe that could actually work. A shielding charm powerful enough to reflect it back."   
  
"That would be one hell of a shielding charm." James commented, "Quite a few of them would have to be put on one single person." 

"Maybe not… Maybe if he somehow came up with enhancing the capabilities and powers, it might work." 

James shook his head, "You might want to check with Dumbledore on that first before you try it; make sure it's possible and all that." 

Lily nodded, "I'm sure it is. We just have to come up with a way to make it possible." 

"Easier said than done, babe." 

"I know, but it's still worth a shot." 

The next morning, Lily threw up once more. This time, however, she refused to go back to bed, insisting she had to see Dumbledore. Apparating once more in front of the Hogwarts gates, she opened them, chilled from the winter snow. Making her way through the castle once more, she whispered the password and went up to his chamber. It was around the time he usually woke up, but to be on the safe side, she knocked softly. Hearing a rustling from inside, she heard the door being unlocked and finally opened, revealing a freshly groomed Dumbledore. 

"Good morning Lily… To what do I owe this honor?" he asked, inviting her in. 

"Papa, I have a problem." Lily said, still standing up. "A big one." 

Dumbledore looked mildly interested as he sat down in one of the large armchairs decorating his living quarters. "And what would that be?" 

"I think I'm pregnant." Lily admitted, "And if I am, I don't know if it's James or Severus' baby." 

Dumbledore took off his glasses and wiped them with the edge of his robes. "Well, well… That certainly does seem to be a problem. Didn't I tell you to be careful with Severus?" 

Lily nodded, "The first twenty-four times were fine, but then we ran out of… protection." 

Dumbledore chuckled, "Like rabbits, you two are when you're together… Perfectly understandable, of course… Is there an even chance of it being either ones'?" 

"James has me sleep with him every chance he gets, and especially before I leave and after I get back." Lily said, slightly embarrassed to be talking about her sex life with her grandfather. 

"So it all depends on who had the right timing… I guess we'll just have to wait and see? I'm sure the child is bound to look like his or her father, as most children do. As of now, however, it is James. Until we have proof it is Severus', it will remain James'. You can alert Severus of the possibility it might be his, but anything past him I strictly forbid." 

"Yes, Papa." Lily said obediently. "I'm… scared, kind of. Do you think you could make sure, see if I'm just under a lot of stress or really have the flu?"   
  
Dumbledore motioned for her to come forward. She obeyed, and a moment later his hand was over her abdomen. A wide smile broke out on his face as he looked up at Lily. 

"Yes, you're pregnant. Would you like to know the gender?" 

Lily thought for a moment, "Tell you what. I'll send you a list of both boy and girl names, and you pick out the best name from the right gender, ok?"   
  
Dumbledore nodded, "Fair enough." 

"Thanks again, Papa." 

"You're welcome Lily… Congratulations."   



	30. The Muggle Way

snape30 Hey guys... bitchiness IS a word because my spell check didn't have any problems with it. Also, it gets a little confusing at the end, but try to keep up. Enjoy. :o)   
Lana   


Lily tried her hardest not to think about the baby, knowing Severus was listening. She hadn't officially told either of them nearly two weeks after she found out, scared it might be Severus' but even more terrified it could be James'. To the world, her having a baby with James would seem right, but to her, it would seem incredibly wrong. She had always wanted children, but with Severus. Having a child with Severus was not an option at the moment, she knew that. Dumbledore knew it, Remus knew it, and Severus knew it. Besides those three people and herself, no one had any clue of her relations with Severus, as far as she knew. 

She cornered James one evening, while he was reading the Evening Prophet. Feeling her stare bearing into him, he looked up from the paper to her curved figure. 

"Yes?" he asked slightly impatiently. 

"James, I have something to tell you." Lily said, sitting down across the table from him. 

He waited for a moment, and when she didn't say anything else he raised his eyebrow. "And what would that be?" 

"I'm pregnant." Lily said quietly, looking him directly in the eye. 

"You don't seem too happy about it." James murmured, after the shocked expression fell off his face. 

"Neither do you." Lily shot back. "Voldemort's running loose, I have a reason to not want to bring a child into the world at the present time. What's your excuse?" 

James looked back down at his paper. "I just think it's a bad time to be having a baby. I'm happy for you, Lil, don't get me wrong." 

"You had a part in this to, so why aren't you happy for yourself as well?" she asked uncertainly. 

James shifted in his seat, "I don't know. Give me a bit to get used to the idea." 

Lily sighed, "In seven months, I'm having this baby with or without you. What's your choice?" 

James looked up once again, surprised at her sudden bitchiness. "Lily, what do you mean by that?"   
  
"Do you want to have this baby or do you not want to? Because if it's an inconvenience to you, just tell me and I'll leave." 

James shook his head, "Lil, I have no idea what you're talking about. Of course I want to have this baby, it's just bad timing, that's all. Give me a few days and I'll be as happy and excited as you want me to be." 

"Why can't you be happy and excited NOW?" Lily whined, "When I told him I was pregnant last time, he was so happy… He picked me up and hugged me… He was so happy…" 

James was now thoroughly confused, "What do you mean, 'him' and 'last time'?" 

"Why can't you be like him right now? Why?" Lily demanded, standing up and starting to pace. "He was so happy…" 

"LILY! Calm down… Who are you talking about?" 

"My husband… I'm talking about my husband…" Lily was now shaking her head furiously, turning quickly every few steps. "Why can't you be happy?" 

James got up cautiously and walked over to her. Slowly, he put his arms around her and hugged her gently. "Baby, calm down… I'm right here… I'm happy, I'm excited we're having a baby… calm down honey." 

Lily struggled against him for a moment, then slowly surrendered into his grip. She closed her eyes slightly and leaned against him. "I'm tired." 

James shook his head, "Do you want me to go get Dumbledore? He might want to make sure you're ok." 

"No, Papa's busy. I just want to sleep." Lily forced herself out of James' grip. "I'm going upstairs." 

She stumbled up the stairs and into their room, finally collapsing on the bed. She laid down and pulled the blankets over her, not bothering to take off her robes and shoes.__

_ Severus… Severus… Are you listening? I need to talk to you._

_ Lily? Are you ok?_ She smiled. Each time she talked to him lately, the first thing he would ask is whether or not she was ok. 

_ No, I'm not._

_ What's wrong? Did James hurt you? Are you sick?_ She could almost hear the sincerity in his voice.__

_ You're going to kill me.___

_ Just tell me, baby… What's wrong?___

_ That's what's wrong.___

_ Lily, just tell me. Please?___

_ Do you promise you won't kill me?___

_ You've been hanging around James too much again. I swear on Merlin's grave, I won't even touch you._

_ That's what I'm afraid of. _Lily admitted. 

_ It can't be that bad… What's wrong?___

_ I just blew up at James because he wasn't happy.___

_ Why wasn't he happy?___

_ Because I'm pregnant._

There was a pause as Lily could just barely make out a fast-paced jumble of thoughts. _Congratulations baby… How far along?___

_ Two months._

Once again, she could hear his quick mental calculations. _…James is the father, isn't he?___

_ That's what I'm afraid of.___

_ Oh God Lily… Is it mine?_

_ I don't know. _Lily sighed aloud. _Do you want it to be?___

_ Of course. Starting a family with you would be wonderful.___

_ There's a way… A Muggle way… To tell who the father is. After it's born, of course. Would you like to do that? I couldn't do it with James, or else he'd know what was going on.___

_ Yes, I would. Can't your Papa tell though?___

_ Probably, but I don't want to have to ask another favor of him.___

_ Ok baby… I'm happy for you, honey.___

_ Are you smiling?___

_ I'm smiling just as much as I do when I'm with you.___

_ Good. I want you to be it's Dad, not James.___

_ It would be much safer if it was James', though._

_ I know… _Lily sighed once more, _But I still hope it's yours.___

_ So do I, Lil. So do I._   
  



	31. Hangovers And A Baby

snape31 No questions answered, sorry... I love you guys, you know that? Each time I get a review (even the stupid ones that diss my story with no reason) I smile big... You're awesome readers, thanks. :o)   
Lana   
  
__ __

_ I'm nine months pregnant with a child that's going to be born into the world of Voldemort. I still don't know what the gender is… Papa promised he'd be there when it's born, and then he'd name it. I gave him a list of both boy and girl names James and Severus helped me pick out, and he's going to pick the best out of them. I hope it's a girl; I've always wanted a daughter. If it is a girl, I pray to God its Severus'. Maybe she'll be a remake of the little girl he and I had… That was almost three years ago. It's hard to imagine, I'm almost twenty years old now. I'm married to two different men, and I've been attacked by one of the most evil wizards of our time. How lucky can a girl get?___

_ I'm scared. I've been scared ever since I've found out. James has been as supporting as anyone could expect him to be; he's helped me out around the house when my ankles are too swollen for me to walk, he's served me all kinds of exotic foods, even in the middle of the night. Severus has been there for me every moment of every day, mentally. When I start playing "what if"s in my head, he talks to me and tells me it's all right. He tells me how much he loves me and even if the baby isn't his, he says he's going to love it just as if it was his own. When I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm too afraid to wake James up, Severus is always there. He claims he wakes up at the exact moment I do, it seems. I tell him my dreams and my nightmares, he tells me it's going to be ok.___

_ I'm due in less than one week, and I'm so afraid. I've heard how painful delivery is; I'm only 19, why do I have to go through this all? And with James, to top it off? Why couldn't I have been with Severus? I begged with James to allow Remus to come to the hospital with us, and Remus promises he'll bring Severus. I hope James faints so Severus will be able to hold my hand instead of him. He promises he'll be talking to me the whole time, and he'll be right outside. But God, I'm so scared…___

_ What if I'm a terrible mother? What if James finds out about Severus? What if James gets drunk and tries to kill it? I know he would never do that, but he's been drinking a lot lately, and I can't get him to stop. He says its just stress, with the ministry watching Dumbledore and us, his group, like hawks. Rita Skeeter, a Ravenclaw girl that was in our year, has been sensationalizing stories of how our group has been taking on the Death Eaters single-handedly and reporting them in the Daily Prophet. I'm glad she hasn't gotten any whiff of Severus and I; she'd be all over it, I'd never be able to leave the house again.___

_ It's almost midnight now, and I'm dead tired. James is still away, I'm not sure where he is at the current time, but I'm not worried. I know he'll come back.___

_ Lily Snape,___

_ July 30th, 1980_

Lily woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. Putting a hand on her bulging stomach, she suddenly felt a burst of pain come from her abdomen. She turned over to look at James, who was sound asleep. Hitting him in the arm once or twice, he finally opened his eyes a crack. 

"What?" he asked, his voice hoarse. 

"James… I think I'm having the baby…" Lily gasped, her eyes wide with fright. 

"What? Now? No, it's too early… Go back to bed." James insisted, rolling over. 

"James…" Lily whined, tugging on his sleeve. "Come on… I'm serious…" 

James stuck a pillow over his head, refusing to listen. Realizing he was either drunk or suffering from a hangover, she tried to wake Severus up. 

_ Sev… WAKE UP!_

A moment later, he responded: _Lily? What's wrong?_

_ I think I'm having the baby…___

_ Wake James up, do you want me to get Remus?___

_ I already tried… He's not listening to me._

She heard a few choice curse words, and a moment later, she saw him appear. 

"Come on… I'll take you." Severus glanced over towards James, who was lying on top of the sheets stark naked. "Lovely sight, but he's rather tiny." 

Lily laughed, then quickly stopped herself. "That hurts right now. Come on, I want to go now…" 

Severus walked over to her side of the bed and helped her up. "Can you Apparate?" 

"Sure." Lily nodded, "St. Mungo's then?" 

"Let me conjure up a note for this git really quick…" Severus muttered a few words and a piece of parchment appeared where Lily was lying moments before. "That should do it. Shall we?" 

Lily took his arm and the two Apparated together to St. Mungo's, where a plump nurse quickly moved her into one of the blue wheelchairs. Severus followed them, keeping his head down low as to not be seen. 

"Sev… Go get Remus and Papa, ok? I'll be fine for a while." Lily said, craning her neck to face him. 

"Are you sure?" Severus asked, looking uncertain. 

"Damnit Sev, get Remus and Papa!" Lily yelled as another wave of pain hit. Severus Apparated directing to Remus Lupin's house, where the man was making himself breakfast. Banging on the door, Remus opened it after a moment. The look on Severus' face was all he needed to see. 

"You go back to Lily, I'll go get Dumbledore… I'm assuming you haven't gotten him yet?" Remus asked. 

"No, and thank you. Don't bother with James, he's being a prick." Severus said. The two nodded goodbye and Severus Apparated back to Lily, who was now lying on a hospital bed with her eyes closed. 

"Remus is getting your Papa, then he's coming back here, ok?" Severus asked. Lily nodded, not bothering to open her eyes. 

"What about James?" she asked. 

"Do you want me to go get him?" 

Lily thought for a moment, "It would be too weird… When Remus gets here, I'll have him go get James. I want you to stay here with me." 

Severus nodded, "Who do you want to be there with you, if James doesn't come?" 

"You, even if James comes. I don't care anymore; I'll come up with something to tell him… He knows we're still friends, at least, and I could just tell him I was too pissed off at him to see him at the time." 

"Lily baby, you know I can't do that… Let your Papa be with you. I'll see if I can at least be in the room with you, is that ok?" 

Lily sighed, "Ok, but if I have any extra hand, you're taking it." 

"Yes Ma'am." 

Nearly two hours later, one of St. Mungo's doctors announced it was time. James still hadn't shown up; Remus said he was passed out cold and naked, just the way Lily and Severus had left him. 

Each time she had a contraction, Lily screamed with pain. Dumbledore was on her left while Severus and Remus stood at her right, both Dumbledore and Severus holding onto her hands. 

"_GOD F-CKING DAMNIT!_ This _HURTS_!" Lily exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut and pushing like the doctor in front of her was telling her to do. 

"Severus, I swear to God if you ever put me through this again, I'll kill you." She muttered through clenched teeth. Severus' eyes widened and he tried to let go of her hand, but her grip was too tight. 

"No you don't… You're staying right here. Remus, make sure he doesn't move. Bite him if you have to." 

Remus laughed while Severus just glanced at him, halfway terrified of Lily. 

"Lily, just breathe… I'll take care of James afterwards, don't worry." Dumbledore said, patting her forehead down with a wet cloth.   
  
"Papa, can you please kill him? Please? I'll make sure no one knows, ok? Please?" Lily asked just as the doctor instructed her to push once more. 

"_GOD DAMNIT! SEVERUS, YOU'RE DEAD_!" Lily screamed, just as James burst through the door. 

"Lily, sweetie… Move it…" James pushed Remus aside and tried to push Severus also, but Lily wouldn't let go of his hand. 

"James, you have no idea how f-cking dead you are." She growled, glaring at him as she pushed one last time. 

"_I HATE YOU BOTH!_" she screamed, just before another sound filled the room; the sound of a baby crying. 

"Congratulations, Mrs. Potter. You have a baby boy." The doctor announced. 

Lily smiled with relief through her tears and took the baby in her arms once the nurse had cleaned him up. She turned to her grandfather, who was smiling. 

"What's his name, Papa?" she asked, offering the baby to him. Dumbledore took him, leaning down so far his nose just touched the baby's cheek. 

"His name is Harry James Potter."   



	32. Betrayal Of The Fullest

snape32 This chapter covers 3 scenes... The first one I'm pretty sure isn't JK accurate, the second one it my work, and the third one is the way it's imagined in the books. Have fun, I'm gonna love the reviews of this one. :o)   
Lana   


James never questioned why Severus was in the room with her, nor did he ever ask why she had been threatening to kill him. Ever since Harry was born, he had been trying to make his actions up to her, knowing how mad Lily truly was. 

She was a good mother, never leaving her son's side unless he was with James. Harry had green eyes, the same color as Lily's, and black hair, which both Severus and James had. The two agreed to get the blood test done on Christmas, 1981, after Harry turned 1. 

Severus was attending Death Eater meetings nearly three times a month now; he saw Peter Pettigrew regularly, as he also saw him at Dumbledore's meetings, which were also increasing. Severus gave the group as much information as he could, barely noticing how little Peter was providing. 

In early October, 1981, Voldemort started targeting more powerful wizards than before. On his list were the Potters; he was still convinced Lily was the worst thing that ever happened to one of his most prized Death Eaters. The fact that the Potters were also coming closer and closer to discovering a counter curse to Avada Kedavra made him slightly nervous. That was the first step.   
  
Severus warned Dumbledore of Voldemort's plans. The next day, October 15th, Dumbledore called a meeting to inform the group of Voldemort's targets. 

"Lily, James, Severus has informed me of Voldemort's plans to end the Potter line." Dumbledore said that evening. Lily had already been forewarned by Severus, and she kept rocking Harry back in forth compulsively in her arms. 

"Is there any chance of us escaping?" James asked gravely. Once Voldemort had targeted a family, there was little chance of survival. 

Dumbledore thought for a moment, "There is an old and highly complicated spell; the Fidelius Charm. It will protect you from Voldemort – he could be looking through your window and not be able to see you. However, it requires a secret keeper." 

Both Lily and James were silent for a moment. Finally, Lily nodded, "Let's do it." 

Dumbledore nodded, "You two shall choose your secret keeper. Make sure they are to be trusted; do not tell anyone. I shall give you instructions later on, including a place to hide." 

"Yes Papa," Lily nodded, "but what if that person's attacked?" 

"Then the charm will be useless, if the Secret Keeper tells Voldemort where you three will be hidden." He looked around the room, "I trust everyone in this room with my life. However, I am fully aware of the fact one of you is a spy, as one of my other spies has informed me. Which one, I am not sure, but I can assure you, the moment I find out who it is, they will spend the rest of their like in Azkaban. I realize Voldemort will be aware of our plans; so be it. However, the details will be discussed in private, along with one person who the Potters choose. The Secret Keeper will not be known to me, only Lily and James." 

The group nodded, all glancing around with a newfound terror. Severus looked Peter straight in the eyes; he was almost certain it was him. However, James was looking at Severus as if he was positive he was the one giving Voldemort forbidden information. Severus knew he would be targeted, at least by two of the three true Marauders. Remus trusted him, Severus was thankful for that. However, Sirius was always going along with what James told him, and Peter knew the truth; Severus was almost sure of it. 

_ It's Peter._

Lily looked up from Harry, surprised._ Honestly?_

Severus nodded. _I'm almost sure of it._

_ But… He's admitted to being part of the Death Eaters. What makes you so sure?___

_ What makes you so sure it's not me?_ Severus asked. 

_Because I know you would never do that, no matter what anyone thinks of you.___

_ Thanks baby.___

_ You're welcome.___

They were in hiding a week and a half later, October 30th, in a secluded cottage at the edge of Godric's Hollow. Dumbledore was sure Voldemort would look everywhere but there. 

"Damn it James… Tell me who you made Secret Keeper!" Lily didn't care if she was waking Harry up; she knew, regardless of how many times she had warned him, James insisted on keeping Peter on his list of possible Secret Keepers. 

"I told you, it's none of your concern." He answered back snidely. The two were in their bedroom, having one of their most heated arguments to date. James refused to tell Lily who their Secret Keeper was, as long as she refused to tell him why she thought Peter was the Spy. 

"Why can't I know, James? I'm just as apart as this as you are." Lily said, pacing back and forth. 

"Tell me why, and I'll tell you who." James answered back, stretching out on their bed. 

"No, not as long as Voldemort's still after us." Lily snapped. "Can't you just trust me for once?" 

"Lily, last time I trusted you, you ran off with that filth, Snape." 

Lily felt a surge of anger rise through her chest. She slowly took a deep breath, and then turned to face him. Her anger hadn't subsided a bit; it only grew stronger as James insisted she was untrustworthy. 

"Do you want to know James, do you really want to know?" Lily shot back nastily. "Because I promise you, it will ruin your day." 

This caught James' attention. Sitting up, he looked at her with a curios expression. "Tell me Lily, tell me something you think I don't already know." 

Lily was seething now; clenching her fists with rage, she glared at him with such fury even he considered backing down. "Do you really, really want to know James? Because it could ruin your life." 

James smirked, "What, you're a werewolf? That would explain where you go every month or so." 

Lily shook her head, "This is much, much worse. I daresay you'll threaten to kill me; perhaps even carry your threat out, or attempt to." 

"What did you do, Lily?" James said, his voice rising. "What the hell is so bad you can't even tell me?" 

Lily stood there silently, shaking with madness. James got up and walked over to her, putting his hands on his shoulders. "Tell me baby." 

Lily stepped back violently, attempting to escape his grip. "I told you, you don't want to know." 

"God damnit Lily, tell me or I swear to God I'll make you." 

Lily gazed up at his with glazed over eyes. "You mean you'll beat it out of me? Is that what you mean? Is that how little you care about me?" 

James shook his head, "That's not what I meant." 

"Then what did you mean, James? Tell me, I want to know." 

He was silent. A moment later, his frame stiffened and he raised his hand, then brought it down. She felt it connect to her face with a sensation of pain she had almost forgotten. From the force of the blow, she fell down to the ground, only to get back up once more. 

"I was right then. You really are a cruel, heartless bastard. Why did you marry me then, if you hate me so much?" Lily muttered through clenched teeth, her hand covering the spot where he had punched her. 

James was silent once more. Finally, he sighed in exacerbation. "I wanted an heir." 

Lily laughed heartlessly, "Is that all? You could have gone to any girl in that school. Why me?" 

"Because you were beautiful. You still are." James said quietly, his eyes still upon her like a hawk. 

"Then why did you hit me?" 

"Because you deserved it." 

Lily laughed once more, then took her hand away from her face. "I gave you a child. I went through nine months of hell while you just sat around and got drunk, The rare chance you did do something for me, you only did for show; to make me see you as the boss. And this is how you repay me? By hitting me? Is that how much you truly wanted an heir?" 

James shook his head, "What are you keeping from me?" 

"Answer my God damned question." 

"Answer mine first." 

Lily smirked, "I can read thoughts. So can Severus. He knows what's going on right now; I'm talking to him." 

James smirked right back at her, "Is that it? You can read thoughts and you're talking to him? So you know Peter's the Secret Keeper. Why even bother?" 

"That's not all." Lily said quietly, disturbed by the news Peter was their Secret Keeper. "But I don't think you can handle the rest; not without killing me or Harry." 

"I would never kill either of you." 

"Great way of showing it." Lily mumbled. 

"Tell me.' 

She took in a deep breath, "You asked for it." She then moved around James to the bed and sat down. She then reached down her robes to fish out a chain around her neck. She then took it off and threw it at James. "This is the rest." 

James examined the chain for a moment; hanging off the end was a ring. "What do you mean? Isn't this the engagement ring that slimy bastard gave you?" 

Lily shook her head, "No." 

James was now thoroughly confused. "Then what is it?" 

"It's not my engagement ring to Severus." Lily took her wand out of her pocket and pointed it at James, "It's my wedding ring." 

James dropped the chain, a shocked expression on his face. "You mean… You and him…?" 

Lily kept pointing her wand at James, "Yes. We got married on December 26th; the day after he found out Voldemort killed our child. The day after he found out we would both be killed if we didn't break up." 

"So you got married for a month? Is that it?" James asked, bending over to pick up the ring. 

"No." Lily shook her head, "We're still married." 

James' face turned red, "Why the hell did you marry me then?" 

Lily smiled ironically, "To keep up the image of a normal life – without my husband." 

James sank down to the floor. "You mean these two years we've been married have been a total joke? Illegal and everything?" 

"Oh no," Lily replied, "It was legal. Papa made sure of it." 

"So Dumbledore's in this, too…" James sighed. "Is that all?" 

"Remus knew." 

"The God damned werewolf knew and I didn't?!" James exclaimed, "Why the hell not?" 

"Because he was smart enough to figure it out; you weren't." Lily said. 

"While you and I have been married… Answer this for me… Did you f-ck him?" 

Lily sat perfectly still. 

"ANSWER ME! DID YOU F-CK THAT BASTARD?" James yelled. Moments later, Harry's cried were heard. Lily got up to go to him, but James held her back. 

Lily slowly turned around, facing him. "Your child needs me." 

"Answer me." 

"I need to see Harry." 

"You'll get him after you answer my question." 

Lily pulled her shoulders out of James' grip, then walked towards the door. Turning around to face him, she answered him with a malicious tone. 

"Yes James, I did. Multiple times. Countless times... And I enjoyed every moment of it." 

Peter Pettigrew came trotting into his Lord's hideout. Bending down to kiss his robes, he unleashes his secret. 

"It has happened, My Lord. The Potters have made me their Secret Keeper."   



	33. The Beginning Of The End

snape33 I'm sure you all know what happens in this chapter. I'm sorry it's written so poorly and I'm sorry it skips around a lot, but I really don't see much of a point in this chapter. You all know the story, just not from this POV. By the way... The FIRST ENDING has started. Yay! I have plans for this one... Big plans...   
Lana   
  


It was happening tonight; Severus had to warn her. He had tried to contact her multiple times, but she refused to listen to him. He sensed James had hurt her, as he was experiencing mental pain to its greatest. 

Voldemort had enlisted him as one of the Death Eaters to help him destroy the Potters. He would help him with James, of course, but he had to warn Lily to get out of there. Knowing she wouldn't leave without Harry, he had to get to her and fast. 

It was set for early evening; Peter Pettigrew was also coming along with their Lord. Voldemort had yet to explain his precise meaning for this; Severus had seen many wizards greater than the Potters be spared. Confronting Voldemort about it was one of the hardest things he had to do, knowing at any moment Voldemort might sense his weakness and kill him. 

"My Lord, please explain to your most humble servant why the Potters must die." He was kneeling before Voldemort in his private chambers, away from the other Death Eaters. 

"Snape. I am perfectly aware of the way you felt about Lily Potter. However, the Potter line comes from one of my ancestor's greatest enemy: Godric Gryffindor. Although they are not direct descendants, it has been my goal throughout the years to beseech upon his heirs the fury and violence Salazar Slytherin felt as he left Hogwarts School. The Bones were directly related to Gryffindor; the Potters are only partially. Once they fall, my mission will be complete." 

Severus nodded slightly, feeling faint. "My Lord, promise me you shall not harm Lily. She is important to both Albus Dumbledore and myself, and could possibly become an asset if I could persuade her to join our side. She is easily molded and manipulated, my Lord. She could be great." 

Voldemort laughed and a chill ran through Severus' spine. "I shall promise you I will not hurt anyone but the Potters tonight. My mission is to rid the world of James and Harry Potter, both of whom share Godric's blood. Lily, if she is in the way, will not be spared once more. You two have had your chances; Make sure she is gone, or else she will be dead as well." 

"Spare those without Gryffindor blood, please Master." Severus pleaded. 

"Fine, unless she is in my way. That is my final promise, Severus." 

Feeling defeated, Severus sighed. "Thank you Master. Your mercy shall not be forgotten." 

As dusk drew nearer, Severus tried his hardest to contact Lily. He was required to go with Voldemort, but was only to stand guard to ward off anybody wishing to help the Potters. He prayed Lily would find it in her self to hand over Harry, however he knew it was the last thing she would do. 

He owled Dumbledore quickly, before the mission was to take place, warning him of Voldemort's plans. Hoping he would get there before Lily was harmed, he silently Apparated to Godric's Hollow, where the other Death Eaters had appeared. Moments later, Voldemort showed up, brandishing a crooked smile. 

"It is time, my Brothers. After this, my mission shall be complete." The door of the cottage burst open. Severus saw James standing before them, holding out his wand. 

_Severus… Severus… God… Help me…___

_ Leave the child, Lily… Leave him… He will spare you.___

_ I can't leave Harry.. Severus, you don't understand-_

Severus watched as a jet of green light hit James and he watched as his body dropped to the ground. Instead of feeling satisfied, he felt an intense urge to rush over to the body and try to help James, even though he knew it was impossible. 

Voldemort moved throughout the house; Lily's screams of terror and cries for help filled Severus' head. 

_ Lily, LEAVE HARRY. It's important… You must get away._

_ I can't leave him… God, help me… Please… Help…___

_ Baby, you know I can't. Please, leave Harry… I'm pleading with you here, please._

"OH GOD!" he heard her screams from inside the house. Looking up, he saw Voldemort corner her in front of a window. A flash of purple light left her wand and went into what looked like a baby's crib.__

_ He's safe, Harry's safe, you protected him… Now leave, Voldemort will kill you. Please Lily, I love you.___

_ Severus… I'm so sorry… I can't leave Harry… help me… I love you, god I love you… James is dead… He knew about us, I told him… god, help me… I love you… tell Harry I love him… Oh God… He's going to kill me… HELP… Severus… I love you… God damnit, I love-_

He saw a jet of green light once more, and her thoughts ended. Screaming with rage, he saw another jet of green light flash through the window, but this time it lasted twice as long as a spell should. Everything was quiet once more. 

Peter got a look of horror on his face and quickly Apparated away. The other Death Eaters followed suit; Severus, however, in a fit of rage, hit the brick wall as hard as he could. What happened next was unexplainable; the house shuddered for a moment, and then the force of his blow, magnified times one thousand through the magic of his anger, caused the foundation to come crumbling down. He jumped back in disbelief, and then quickly ran to the area where Harry's room had fallen. 

He heard a baby crying; knowing who it was, he sighed with partial relief. He knew Lily would have been ecstatic to know her spell had worked. He sifted through the rubble and came across the baby. He bundled him up and set his aside on a bit of wall padding, ignoring the bleeding cut on his forehead. 

He saw her hair first, and then her scratched face. He pulled her body out among the brick and dust, sitting there with her head cradled in his arms. 

Rocking back and forth, he allowed the steady flow of tears to run down his face. He didn't know how long he stayed there; he saw the gamekeeper, Hagrid, take Harry away. He didn't care. Dumbledore showed up nearly four hours after Hagrid, James' body floating next to him. 

"Severus." He said quietly. "Listen to me. You must get out of here. Now." 

"No.. She's dead… It's my fault…" he cried, smoothing back her hair for the hundredth time that night. "I can't leave her… She might need me." 

"Severus, she's dead. You can't help her. You need to come with me, now." 

"I can't…" Severus was still rocking back and forth. "I killed her. I let her stay. I killed her." 

Dumbledore touched his shoulder lightly, and the two were transported back to Hogwarts. Severus closed his eyes and tried to Apparate himself back to Lily, but it was no use. 

"Mundungus and Arabella are picking up their bodies. She is dead, Severus. You can't help her." 

"God… She's dead…" 

Dumbledore shook his head. Severus then looked up and realized where they were; the same room he and Lily had stayed in during their seventh year. 

"Stay here for tonight. I shall be back for you in the morning. Do not leave, I forbid it. I have alerted my staff of your presence and someone will be here to check on you hourly. I shall be back as soon as I can." 

In a moment, Dumbledore was gone. Severus was alone. He crawled into the bed and curled himself into a tiny ball, rocking himself to sleep as Lily's last thoughts pounded through his head.   



	34. If Only

snape34 You have my permission to be sad... I know I would be if I wasn't writing this story. I'm sorry the chapter's so short, all it is is a little Severus afterwards. The _italics_ are him speaking, the **_italic-bolds_** are song lyrics. By the way, I want to know who YOU think is Harry's father... James, Severus, or Remus? :o) If you review, tell me. I'll tally them up and tell you guys if you were right or not... You WILL find out who his father is, don't worry.   
Lana 

**__**

**_ Adia I do believe I failed you_**   
**_ Adia I know I let you down_**   
**_ don't you know I tried so hard_**   
**_ to love you in my way_**   
**_ it's easy let it go..._****__**

**_ Adia I'm empty since you left me_**   
**_ trying to find a way to carry on_**   
**_ I search myself and everyone_**   
**_ to see where we went wrong_****__**

**_ 'cause there's no one left to finger_**   
**_ there's no one here to blame_**   
**_ there's no one left to talk to honey_**   
**_ and there ain't no one to buy our innocence_**   
**_ 'cause we are born innocent_**   
**_ believe me Adia, we are still innocent_**   
**_ it's easy, we all falter_**   
**_ does it matter? *_** __

_ It's been far too long since I've seen you… Since I've heard your voice. Each night, before I lay down to sleep, I hear your screams of terror and think maybe I could have prevented it. I could have persuaded Voldemort to leave you and just take the baby. Your spell worked; he's alive. I do not know where, however. Nobody in the wizarding world knows.___

_ Harry did it. Harry stopped Voldemort… Your son did it. Ours, perhaps? I fear I will never know, but that's ok with me. He was your son; I'll try my best to protect him, I promise. Even if he does have James' blood running through his veins, I'm sure the good in yours will cancel out all the bad.___

_ I miss you. I miss you so bad I often dream of dying myself, and then seeing you on the other side. When I was with you, I felt complete. Now that you're gone, I feel as if a part of me has died right along with you. Sometimes I hope I will not wake up the next morning; however, I always do._**__**

  
**__**

**_I will remember you_**   
**_ Will you remember me?_**   
**_ Don't let your life pass you by_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories_****__**

**_ Remember the good times that we had?_**   
**_ I let them slip away from us when things got bad_**   
**_ How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun_**   
**_ Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one_****__**

**_ I will remember you_**   
**_ Will you remember me?_**   
**_ Don't let your life pass you by_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories_****__**

**_ I'm so tired but I can't sleep_**   
**_ Standin' on the edge of something much too deep_**   
**_ It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word_**   
**_ We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard_****__**

**_ But I will remember you_**   
**_ Will you remember me?_**   
**_ Don't let your life pass you by_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories_****__**

**_ I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose_**   
**_ Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_**   
**_ Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night_**   
**_ You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light_****__**

**_ And I will remember you_**   
**_ Will you remember me?_**   
**_ Don't let your life pass you by_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories_****__**

**_ And I will remember you_**   
**_ Will you remember me?_**   
**_ Don't let your life pass you by_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories_**   
**_ Weep not for the memories $_** __

  
__

_ If I could have just one more day with you… One more… I'd make sure you knew exactly how much I love you. I'll love you forever and a day, always. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life; no one could dare compete with you. However, I will be happy with the memory of you, the memory of what we had. Once I die, I'll see you again. I'm looking forward to the day.___

_ I am a professor now; nearly a year after you've left. Remember how I wanted to be one in our seventh year? Now I despise it. I'd rather be with you than be stuck teaching mindless children how to make potions.___

_ I'm sorry Lily, I remember how you love children. Forgive me. I'll always remember you, I'll be looking forward to the moment I see you again. I'm so sorry for not protecting you; It's my fault. If I had just warned your Papa in time… If I had been there with you… If I had known it was Sirius that betrayed you, not Peter… If only…___

_ With All My Love, Your loving husband,_   
_ Severus_**__**

  
**__**   
**__**

**_Last night I had a crazy dream_**   
**_A wish was granted just for me_**   
**_It could be for anything_**   
**_I didn't ask for money_**   
**_Or a mansion in Malibu_**   
**_I simply wished for one more day with you_****__**

**_One more day_**   
**_One more time_**   
**_One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied_**   
**_But then again_**   
**_I know what it would do_**   
**_Leave me wishing still_**   
**_For one more day with you_****__**

**_First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl_**   
**_Then I'd unplug the telephone_**   
**_And keep the TV off_**   
**_I'd hold you every second_**   
**_Say a million I Love You's_**   
**_That's what I'd do_**   
**_With one more day with you_******

**_One more day_**   
**_One more time_**   
**_One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied_**   
**_But then again_**   
**_I know what it would do_**   
**_Leave me wishing still_**   
**_For one more day with you_****__**

**_Leave me wishing still for one more day_**   
**_Leave me wishing still for one more day...^_******

*** - Sarah McLachlan, Adia**   
**$ - Sarah McLachlan, I Will Remember You**   
**^ - Diamond Rio, One More Day (Thank you gurl for suggesting this.)**


	35. Now Tell Me

snape35 You guys aren't getting the next chapter until I get a few guesses at who the father is... This chapter just recaps a lot, sorry. Enjoy.   
Lana   
  


The first time Severus ever laid eyes on him was in the Great Hall ten years later, during the Sorting Ceremony. He was sitting next to a redheaded Weasley, pushing his glasses nervously up his nose. 

Severus was no longer the kind of man who expressed his emotions; his ability to love, to like, to live a true life of happiness died with Lily. Ten years later, he was still feeling the effects of her death. Each night, he made himself a potion for a dreamless sleep. If not taken, he would wake up in the middle of the night; sweat pouring down his face, her last thoughts pounding through his head as they had that fateful night long ago. 

Seeing Harry was unavoidable; he had him three times a week for Potions. He was placed in Gryffindor, confirming Severus' fears of him being James' child. He had the same black hair as James, along with the same attitude. He also held the same dislike for Severus as his father before him; it was obvious. 

It wasn't until Harry's fifth year that Severus had a true encounter with him, alone. Lord Voldemort was back, and Harry had once again fought him and survived. It was Dumbledore's wish for Harry to join the ranks of Severus, Sirius Black, Arabella Figg, and Minerva McGonagall, as a member of the group his parents once belonged to. 

Severus fought tooth and nail for Harry to be able to grow up as a normal child – as normal as a child of his fame and status could get. Harry mistook this for Severus' dislike towards him, and fought even harder to be allowed in. 

It was the fifteenth anniversary of her death; Fifteen long years since Severus had touched her, fifteen long years since he had heard her voice. He was 36 years old now, but looked as if he was nearing his fifties. His jet-black hair was graying slightly from stress, and the bags around his eyes grew with each passing night. 

He was brought up into Dumbledore's office, meeting Harry and his grandfather-in-law there. Memories flooded through him, cutting through his mind like a knife. Sitting down in one of the seats provided, Severus closed his eyes and willed them to go away. 

"Harry, could you please step outside for a moment? Professor Snape and I have something to discuss." Dumbledore asked his grandson politely. Harry nodded and closed the solid oak doors behind him. 

"Severus, you have been avoiding me." Dumbledore commented. "It's been fifteen years, you must come to terms with your loss." 

Severus shook his head, "Sir, you lost a granddaughter, I lost a wife. We have both suffered, and we both have different ways of handling the situation. Mine is to lock myself from the outside world. I enjoy my solitude, I have no problem with living the way I do." 

Dumbledore shook his head, "Severus… I understand what you're saying, but I have to explain something to you. Lily knew who Harry's father was… I told her before her and James went into hiding. Did she tell you before she died?" 

Severus shook his head, "I'm surprised I didn't come across that in her mind." 

"She knew you wanted to know; I'm also surprised she didn't tell you." 

"Well, sir, somewhere in our relationship there had to have been secrets, or else it wouldn't have been a true relationship." 

Dumbledore nodded, agreeing. "Yes, Severus. The day has come when Voldemort has risen again. You have assured me you are prepared to face him once more; for that, I am deeply impressed." 

"Thank you sir. Excuse me for asking, but is there a reason you called me to your office?" 

Dumbledore nodded, "Severus, it has been fifteen years to the day. Harry outside has an idea it is their anniversary, but what he doesn't realize is the true meaning of it. 

"Lily gave me a letter to give to you before she died just as a precaution, but unfortunately I must give it to you now." Dumbledore handed him a yellowing envelope with his name written in Lily's handwriting. He hungrily opened the envelope, his eyes feasting on what lay before him. 

He read quickly and silently, an air of suspense hanging throughout of the office. A moment later, he looked up at the old wizard and nodded. 

"I am ready." 

"Very well, allow me to get Harry." 

Moments later, the tall teenager walked into the room, his head held high, just as James had many years before. Sitting down as far away from Severus as possible, he starred straight ahead. 

"Harry, as you must know, it has been fifteen years since your parents were killed by Lord Voldemort. Halloween, 1981." 

"Yes sir." Harry nodded, looking slightly miffed. 

"There is some history you must be aware of, to truly understand why they died." Harry looked up towards Dumbledore with a curious expression on his face. 

"James Potter was abusive to your mother while they were in school. Both physically and sexually." Severus was reading Dumbledore's mind and spoke his words before Dumbledore had the chance. 

Harry shot of a look of hatred in Severus' direction. "My father would never do that." 

I>If you only knew…/I> Severus laughed ironically. 

"It's true, Harry. James Potter nearly killed my great-great-great granddaughter on more than one occasion." Dumbledore spoke quietly, as if he was trying to make the impact of the words a bit easier. 

"Your… What?" Harry was now thoroughly confused. 

"Harry, your mother was my great-great-great granddaughter." Dumbledore repeated. 

"Which makes me your great-great-great-great grandson…" Harry ticked off the greats with his right hand. "Honestly?" 

Dumbledore nodded, a smile on his face. "Very few people in the world know that, Harry." 

Harry nodded numbly, trying to absorb the information. "Is that why you had my father's cloak?" 

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, that's why I had James' cloak in my possession." 

Severus coughed as Dumbledore continued. "Severus, would you like to say the next part?" 

"Gladly, Headmaster." Severus looked over at Harry. "James was a controlling man; he knew I liked Lily at the time, and he wanted to make my life hell. He told her to make me fall in love with her, and then break my heart so bad I would want to die. 

"Lily followed his plans gladly; they staged a breakup in the Great Hall, and soon she was with me." 

Harry blanched at the thought of Severus Snape and his mother dating. Severus caught this and smirked. 

"Ahh, it gets worse. Headmaster?" 

"Your aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon got married the summer of '77. Instead of James attending, Severus attended it with her. I was present for the wedding, which is how Severus discovered my relation to Lily. Severus?" 

"This gets a little hard to explain, Headmaster… However… Two months later, at the start of our seventh year, Lily informed me she was pregnant with my daughter." 

Severus smirked at the horrified expression on Harry's face. "You… You… You SLEPT with my mother?" 

"On more than one occasion." Severus replied snidely. "But, as fate would have it, Lord Voldemort killed the fetus, leaving both Lily and I devastated. This was three days before Christmas- on Christmas day, I received a letter from my father explaining to me I had one month to break up with her, or else both she and I would be killed." 

"Naturally, the next day, December 26th, I married Severus to your mother." Dumbledore paused as Harry's face went white. 

"My mother… and Snape… You… two… married?" he asked weakly. 

"Yes. For three years, until she died." 

"But… I was born in 1980… She graduated in 1978…" 

"Yes, of course. We'll get to that in a moment, Harry. A month later, Professor Snape and your mother also staged a breakup. No one knew of their marriage except myself-" 

"And Remus Lupin." Severus admitted. "Lily told him." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Very well then. Myself and Remus Lupin." He cleared his throat; "James Potter got back together with your mother and married her that summer, not knowing she was already married to Severus." 

"Your mother and I got together maybe once or twice a year. The last thing I wanted her to do was have a child with James; it was also the last thing she wanted to do. However, when she announced she was pregnant, she was happy. Therefore, I was happy as well. I helped your mother through her pregnancy; James drank and actually barely made it to your birth. I assisted your mother through her delivery, myself and her Papa." Severus smiled fondly at the nickname Lily had given Dumbledore. 

"Severus was aware Peter Pettigrew was a traitor; However, as Sirius Black was blamed, he slowly grew accustomed to it, and soon thought Peter was dead, along with the rest of the wizarding world. He tried to warn me, though, but I didn't get the message in time." 

"I made Voldemort promise he wouldn't kill any one besides the last of the Gryffindor line. He made one exception: Lily. She cast a spell on you moments before she died, which I believe protected you from his spell." 

Harry was slow to speak. "So… You were married to my Mum… You had sex with my mum…" 

"No, never sex." Severus corrected, "Unlike her relationship with James, ours was out of love, not lust." 

"Ok then, you… did it with my Mum… she almost had your baby… she hated my father… Why are you telling me all this?" Harry asked. 

"Because, you must understand. You must know what it was like, the true story only now four people on Earth know of. Myself, Severus, Remus, and now you. I understand you believe Professor Snape here hates you." 

"Yes, I know he does." Harry once again shot a glare in Severus' direction. 

"No, I don't. I merely hate the fact my wife died saving you, and you aren't grateful in the least." Severus growled. 

"I AM grateful! I miss them, I have dreams, I hear them…" 

"You hear them?" Severus was now interested. "When?" 

"When my Mum died… I can hear her and Dad shouting, I can hear her last words." 

"I was there that night." Severus admitted, "Standing guard. I tried to get to her, but it was too late." 

Harry shook his head, "I don't care anymore. Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because, Harry, you must understand. Do you understand?" 

Harry nodded, "Now tell me." 

  



	36. Revelations (And His Father Is...)

snape36 Ok guys, it's revealed... *sigh*. BUT BUT BUT the story is NOT over. First of all, I still have to finish off this ending, then start on the second one... Yada Yada Yada. This is the one chapter I want reviews on, guys... Please? This is one of the only times I'll ask, but I want to know what you guys think... If I suck, if I should change it (which I won't)... Also, I got 2 votes for Sev, 2 for James, and one for Remus. You guys didn't think Remus could be Harry's father? You'll see...   
Lana   


"Harry, your father was killed because he had Godric Gryffindor's blood running through his veins. Lord Voldemort is the last remaining ancestor of Salazar Slytherin and therefore devoted to killing the Gryffindor line." Dumbledore said, pausing for a moment. "Your mother was killed because she was trying to protect you." 

"Yes, yes… I've heard the story before, Headmaster." Harry said a bit stiffly, "Is that why Lord Voldemort tried to kill me? Because I'm the last remaining heir of Gryffindor?" 

"Yes and no, Harry. Currently, all Voldemort is trying to do, I assume, is pay back old debts; he believes he owes you your death, and therefore is dedicated to fulfill it." Dumbledore said quietly. "However, that was his reason for trying to kill you that night." 

Harry nodded, "But why didn't he just kill my Mum and get it over with? He doesn't seem like the type to be sympathetic." 

"Because," Severus said with an air of disgust, "your mother was the most important thing in the world to me. To lose her was to lose one of his most supportive, faithful, or so he thought, Death Eaters. To him, this was the same as losing an important city to a country. He feared it would begin his downfall." 

"So you were protecting my Mum?" Harry said quietly, daring to look at Severus for the first time. 

"Yes. I heard her last words – her last thoughts." 

"How… Thoughts?" Harry asked, slightly miffed. 

Severus cleared his throat, "I can read minds, Harry. I transferred my gift, which was given to me by Lord Voldemort, to your mother. That is how we communicated." 

"She… My Mum could read minds?" Harry asked, amazed. "Wow." 

"She made the mistake of telling your father that the night before they were killed. Under the Filedius Charm, only Peter Pettigrew knew where they were. It hurts to think of what James might have done to Lily." Severus sighed, "She also told him we were married; Afterwards, she did not contact me for nearly 24 hours. I was terrified something had happened to her… I tried to warn her before it was too late, but she wasn't listening. 

"That night, I stood guard at your home and watched James Potter die. I felt no sympathy for him; you might think I'm a monster, but you have no memories of what he was truly like. You hear stories from friends that only want to remember the good things, never the bad. Remus Lupin knew about your mother and I – he kept our secret. James Potter was a true monster; he didn't love you mother, he only wanted an heir – you. 

" I watched as Voldemort went upstairs to where you were with your mother. She was finally listening to me; I tried to convince her to put you down, but instead she cast what we all believe to be the counter curse to Avada Kedavra, which only she and your father knew. I pleaded with her to leave you, to give you up and to live, but she refused. She wanted a baby so badly; you were her child, Harry, you meant more to her than life itself. I heard her die; I heard her last thoughts, I heard her screams of terror. I heard her. The thought still haunts me, even to this day. After she died and Voldemort disappeared, all the Death Eater vanished. I, however, felt such intense emotion I destroyed your home. When a wizard is feeling intense emotion, he has capabilities beyond his normal standard, as I believe you've experienced before. I fished you out of the rubble and set you down, but then went to find Lily's body. I was emotionally dead. I was holding my wife's body in my arms, knowing she wasn't coming back… It was terrible." 

Severus stopped, forcing the tears in his eyes to stay within his body. Dumbledore cleared his throat, and then continued where Severus had left off. 

"I found Severus and your mother four hours later. Hagrid took you to your aunt and uncle's home while I attended to the bodies and Severus. He was taken back here, and the next year made Potions Master. 

"Before your mother died, she left Severus a letter explaining some things he had not yet known. Before I tell you these things, I must make you understand something, Harry. Your mother and Severus were married- legally and emotionally bonded. Your father and mother were only together for the sake of Lily and Severus' life. Along with marriage comes certain expectations, including intercourse. Your father was brutal when it came to that subject and your mother. She often couldn't attend classes due to soreness or injuries, as I later found out. What you must understand, Harry is that your mother and father's marriage was not out of love, nor emotion. It was out of necessity. Severus and your mother were a true couple, but due to Voldemort, could not be seen in public together. Do you understand?" 

Harry nodded slowly, the ideas slowly seeping into his mind. 

"Harry, sometime in the two weeks you were conceived, your mother and I spent a few days together. Yes Harry, like that." Severus watched with amusement as the expression on his face quickly changed from awe to disgust. "It was not known if James or I was your father." 

Harry looked horrified. "What? You… you're kidding me?" 

Severus shook his head, "I almost wish I was. However, your grandfather here knew, as he was the one to confirm Lily's pregnancy. He also knew you were going to be a boy. Lily had both James and I give her a list of names, both boys and girls. What I thought had happened was these lists were sent directly to Dumbledore. However, Lily was also aware of the gender of the baby – you – and picked out one name from each list. Harold being on mine, James being on… well, James'. She shortened my name to Harry and used James, telling your grandfather which name she had chosen." 

Dumbledore set his hand on Severus' shoulder and then picked up where he had left off. "I knew who your father was and I told Lily before she went into hiding. I forbad her to tell either of the two, as James did not know of the controversy and Severus had not asked or expressed desire to know towards me. As I have told you before, your mother wrote a letter to Severus the week before she died. Severus read it just before you came in-" 

"Fifteen years of unanswered questions, Harry, in one letter." Severus held up the yellow piece of parchment. "I now know for certain who your father is. I also know the answers to questions I've never asked, just always assumed." 

Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Harry, the night before you were attacked, Severus made a deal with the Dark Lord. Voldemort promised that only the heirs of Gryffindor would be killed that night – the exception being your mother, if she refused to leave. It was as good as his deal was going to get. Lily was listening to Severus while he was making the bargain with Voldemort. 

"Harry, she cast a spell on you moments before she died – until now, we have all assumed it was a counter curse to Avada Kedavra. However, as she writes, it was not." 

Severus then held up the letter and started reading: 

_ "Dearest Severus,___

_ I'm afraid I will never get to see you again. Voldemort will find us, I am sure of it. Until I am out of hiding, I will not be able to see you, and I will not be out of hiding until Voldemort is killed. I am sure you are trying your hardest.___

_ Severus, no matter who Harry's father is, he will grow up to look like James. Before I die, I will make sure of it. Papa tells me he will inform me of who the father is before James and I are hidden. I'm scared it will be you, but even more terrified it will be James. I do not want my son growing up to be like that monster; he has far too much potential for it. Please, no matter what the outcome, make sure he is safe."_

Severus stopped there. "The rest is fairly personal, and if you wish I shall read it to you later on. However, the spell cast that night was not the counter curse; it was a spell to make you an exact replica of James, save your mother's eyes. You look exactly like James did, exactly. Down to your stance, your posture, your way of moving; he is there constantly. That is why I was certain he was your father. I did not know of the spell yet." 

Dumbledore started speaking once again; "Harry, before she finished this letter, I told her who your father was. The very last line is key. Do you want to know?" 

Harry was dumbfounded. He knew it was a possibility Snape was his father, but an equal chance James Potter – the man he believed was his father for his whole life – was. To him, it was a 50/50 chance.   
  
He slowly nodded, "Yes. I also want to hear the rest of the letter." 

Severus nodded and held it up again, once more starting to read. 

_ "I do not want my son growing up in a world where you are a cause, no matter how little, of destruction. Leave the Death Eaters, I beg you. Make sure before you die, you are completely free of their reign. I love you, Severus. It amazes me how much sometimes. My last thought will be of you – hopefully, you will be listening. When my life flashes before my eyes, all I want to see is you. James was not my life, and Harry has only occupied the past year. You are my all: my past, my present, and hopefully my future. Even if I do not live much longer, you will be my future. Never forget me, Severus, but move on after I'm gone. I'll always be with you and I want to see you happy – I need to see you happy."_

Severus cleared his throat, struggling with the tears that were forming in the corner of his eyes._ "And please, Severus, whatever you do… take care of our son."_   



	37. Remembrance

snape37 Next chapter... Did you guys like the last one? Judging from the reviews I received, I'd say you did. Good, I'm glad you liked it.   
Lana   


Harry ran out of Dumbledore's office, not daring to look back. He ran through the Hogwarts corridors and up to the portrait of the Fat Lady. 

"Dragon Blood…" he panted, and then climbed in as she swung herself open. He ignored the stares he received from his fellow Gryffindors and went straight up to the 5th Year Boy dorms. 

Ron Weasley, his best friend, was lying on his bed reading "Flying With the Cannons". He looked up as he saw Harry enter the room with a look of fury and betrayal. 

"What's wrong with you?" Ron asked, sitting up. 

"My life is ruined." Harry said forcefully. "I just found out everything I've wanted to find out for the past five years and far too much more." 

"Such as?" Ron asked, eagerly leaning forward. 

"I…" Harry paused. "You'd never look at me the same way again. You'd laugh at me, if anything." 

Ron shook his head, "I could only think of one reason I'd laugh at you, Harry, and that's impossible." 

"What is?" Harry asked, "Because right now, I don't think anything's impossible." 

"Never mind, trust me, it's impossible." Ron commented. "So, are you going to tell me or do I have to get Hermione to magic it out of you?" 

Harry shook his head, "Do you swear you won't say a word?" 

"If you've committed murder, I can't promise anything." Ron shook his head gravely. "Other than that, tell me." 

Harry drew in a deep breath. "My Mum and Snape were married." 

Ron's eyes opened wide. "You're kidding?" 

"That's not all," Harry admitted. "You promise you won't say a word, even to Snape or Dumbledore?" 

"Why would I want to talk to Snape?" Ron asked in disgust. "I promise. Continue." 

"My mum got pregnant when she was in her seventh year… Snape was the father. Voldemort killed the baby, though, before it was born." 

Ron nearly choked, "You almost had a half sibling? And from SNAPE, at that?" 

"It gets worse, trust me." Harry sighed, "They had to break up because of Voldemort threatening them, but they got married instead, right? So then, they stage a break up and Mum gets back together with my… James." 

"Since when is he James?" Ron asked. 

"You'll see." Harry repeated, "So, they get married while Snape and my Mum are still married. Turns out Mum slept with both." 

Ron was slowly getting the picture. He dropped his book, but didn't bother picking it up. 

"James was abusive. He hit my Mum a lot, and also raped her. I don't know why she stayed with him, but anyway…" Harry shook his head; "You have no idea how hard this is for me to say." 

"Go on." Ron coaxed, "It can't be that bad." 

"Yes it can." Harry sighed once more, "My own Mum didn't know if James or Snape was my father." 

Ron fell off his bed, but quickly recovered. 

"My Mum knew right before she died though. She loved Snape tons more than James… She wrote Snape a letter, and in it she said she cursed me to look like James Potter, even though Severus Snape's my father." 

Ron's face turned white. "Snape… Professor Snape?" 

"Dumbledore's my great-great-great-great grandfather, to top it off… On my Mum's side." Harry sighed, "The reason I didn't die that night is because Snape made Voldemort promise he wouldn't kill anyone except the Gryffindor line… James was the last heir of Gryffindor. My mother was the exception. So, when he tried to kill, he broke his promise to Snape without realizing it. The spell backfired and hit him, and you know the rest. Also, I guess the reason she cursed me is because she didn't know I would be the reason of Voldemort's downfall… She couldn't have a child that was supposed to be James' son and have him look exactly like Snape." 

Ron was speechless. He sat on his bed, gaping at Harry for what seemed like hours. Finally, he opened his mouth. 

"You have to tell Hermione." 

"No!" Harry exclaimed, "Not yet. I'll tell her when I'm ready… I ran from Dumbledore and Snape earlier, I don't want anyone else finding out right now." 

Ron nodded, then paused for a moment. "You know what this means?" 

Harry shook his head, "No, what?" 

"You're not Harry Potter… You're Harry Snape." 

"Spare me." Harry fell back onto his bed. "That sounds terrible." 

Ron grinned, "Sorry, Harry." 

The next morning was the first time Harry had to face both Dumbledore and Snape – during breakfast in the Great Hall. As the three friends ducked into the Hall and made their way over to the Gryffindor table, Ron elbowed Harry in the ribs and nodded over to the High Table. 

"They're both looking at you." Ron said. Harry shook his head, refusing to turn to the table. 

"I don't want to look at either of them." 

Ron nodded, understanding. Hermione took her place on the other side of Ron, leaving Harry closest to the High Table. He dared to look up there for just a moment, and when he did he saw Severus' eyes upon him. Dumbledore was leaning over to talk to Professor McGonagall and wasn't look at him at the moment. 

"Oh God…" Harry groaned. "We have Double Potions today, don't we?" 

Hermione nodded, "Yes. I heard you and Ron talking last night; Sorry, I just wanted to ask you if you were ok and I kind of heard the whole thing." 

Harry shook his head, "That's fine. The whole school's going to know in a matter of days anyway." 

"No they won't. Ron and I won't say a word, will we Ron?" Hermione glared at Ron as if trying to will him to agree. 

"Yeah, we won't say a word, Harry." Ron agreed, looking back up towards the High Table. "Wonder what you would look like if your Mum hadn't cast that spell?" 

"I don't think I want to find out." Harry said numbly. "Potions… Last class of the day?" 

"You can't skip it, Harry. You're going to have to face him sooner or later." 

"Ron, he's my father. I just found this out, after fifteen years of thinking otherwise. The one teacher I despise ended up giving me life… I don't know whether to hate him even more or just get over it and accept him." 

Hermione shook her head, "If I were you, Harry, I'd just accept it. You can't change the past, so why don't you just go up to him and apologize? He has to forgive you, he's your father." 

"It's not that easy, Hermione. Talking about it just hurts even more…" Harry sighed. "This is going to be one hell of a day." 

The day went by at twice the normal speed, it seemed to Harry. History of Magic, Transfiguration, lunch, and Herbology went by much too fast. As we walked with a trembling body down to the dungeons with Ron and Hermione, he tried to will himself to die on the spot. Stepping into Professor Snape's classroom was harder than he had ever imagined. He quickly fled to his seat, surrounded by both of his friends. He didn't dare look up until Snape started attendance and reached his name. 

"Harry Potter." With great difficulty, the name rolled off of Severus' tongue. He looked up to see the boy, trembling slightly, raise his hand, his eyes meeting his for a brief moment before quickly looking back down at his hands. Severus finished calling attendance, and then cleared his throat. 

"Today we're going to be making a Memory Potion. There are many versions, and the one you'll be making is one of the better kinds. It can make you remember things you've long forgotten, some good, some bad. At the end of the class, I will be testing it on a volunteer." He continued, giving them a list of ingredients and instructions on making the potion. 

As the class started, he walked around the room, commenting on various potions. He wasn't as hard on Gryffindors as he usually was; he knew they noticed. After nearly an hour, most of the potions were finished. 

"Ok, who would like to volunteer?" To his surprise, Harry raised a shaking hand. 

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron whispered, poking his friend in the ribs. 

"Mr. Potter… Are you certain?" Severus asked with an air of surprise. 

"Yes." Harry nodded, his voice cracking a bit. 

"Very well." Severus came over to his side of the room and inspected his potion. After a moment, he decided it was safe. Taking the goblet he held in his hands, he poured the boy a half a cup of the Memory potion. Harry took the goblet, nearly spilling it, and drank it down in one gulp. 

_ She was screaming… Crying… He could hear her screaming… A bright purple light hit him; he could feel himself transforming… Finally, with a flash of green light, the screaming stopped. A new, quieter noise was coming from the window… He could hear a man yelling. The figure in the room turned towards him and pointed his wand. A beam of green light hit him on his forehead, but only cut him slightly. It rebounded on the figure, and with a flash of bright light, the figure disappeared. A few minutes later, he could feel the foundation of his home shake. Suddenly, he was falling… Falling… He could hear himself crying. A different cloaked figure fished him out of the rubble and held him in his arms for a moment – _Severus Snape_. Severus put him down and quickly fished Lily Potter's body out. Harry could see him take her hand in his lap, and he could both hear and see Severus sobbing.___

_ He waited for what seemed like hours, eventually tiring of crying. A man twice the size of a usual man showed up and took him in his arms. He took one last glance at his Mum and Snape, him just sitting there crying. For a fleeting moment, he felt himself tear up, but he was taken away from the scene._

He opened his eyes with a start, looking around the dungeon with a new found terror. He then looked back up at Snape, who was starring at him with a strange expression on his face; worry, almost. 

"Oh God… I heard her… I'm so sorry…" Harry choked. "It was terrible." 

"So you do remember." Severus said quietly. "Class is dismissed. Harry, I would like to talk to you privately for a moment." 

Harry nodded numbly, watching the rest of the class disperse. He looked up at Snape once more, the sense of loneliness intensifying.   



	38. Welcome To The World Of Male Bonding

snape38 I like this chapter... But I don't know, should I end it here or keep on going? I have a million things I want to write about, but I don't know if you guys want to put up with a whole lot more... I could go on with this particular ending for a while, or I could end it here. Which do you want me to do?   
Lana   


"Harry, I know how difficult this must be for you, but believe me, it's just as difficult for me." Severus started, sitting down in the empty chair next to Harry. 

"I can imagine." Harry said quietly. 

"For fifteen years, I tortured myself, thinking you were that bastard's son." Harry started to object, but then remembered what James was like. "Your mother was far too perfect for him. No one deserved her, especially James and I." 

Harry shook his head, "You seemed… really sad when she died." 

"I wanted to die afterwards." Severus admitted quietly. "Unfortunately, it never happened." 

Harry was silent for a moment. "What was she like?" 

Severus smiled, "Your mother? She was perfect. Her only flaw, perhaps, was that she loved me too much. She married James for the sake of us… She went through hell because of my association with the Death Eaters." 

Harry smiled a bit, "I'm sure it wasn't your fault." 

Severus shook his head, "Harry, I wish I could show you, but I believe your grandfather wouldn't want me to." 

"But… he wouldn't have to know?" Harry suggested cautiously. "I really want to know the whole story." 

"I promise I'll show you one day." Severus agreed, "But right now, you might not understand everything. I'm sure you'd get the gist of it all, but to truly understand the feelings, the way she acted, you'd have to fall in love yourself." 

Coming from Professor Snape, this was total sap to Harry. However, coming from his father, it almost felt natural. 

"I'm still getting used to the fact… You…" Harry paused. "Is that why you saved me all those times?" 

Severus nodded, "I promised your mother I'd protect you. Even when I seemed as if I was doing it for pleasure, I assure you, I was terrified you would hurt yourself." 

Harry nodded. "I can understand that. I don't know whether I should hate you or accept it." 

Severus shook his head, "I don't want you to hate me. I also know you can't absorb this kind of information in a day – it takes time. I'm still getting used to it, even though I knew it could have been a possibility all this time." 

Harry sighed, "I guess I know why the Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin." 

Severus looked surprised, "The Sorting Hat wanted to put you in Slytherin?" 

Harry nodded, "Yeah, but I insisted it didn't." 

"So it picked your mother's house." Severus nodded, "I am the cliché of the Slytherin House. My name – Snape – is even known for being in the house of Slytherin." 

Harry shrugged, "I really don't follow wizarding families, so…" 

"It's a nice pastime." Severus commented, "Although there are black sheep, usually a child of a certain descent follows the footsteps of his surname." 

"Such as Malfoy?" Harry commented with slight disgust. Severus laughed. 

"Draco Malfoy. Promising student, although a bit on the egotistical side. Much like his father, yes, although not nearly as dark. I'm sure he'll learn in time, unfortunately." 

"I have a question." Harry said. 

"Yes?" Severus asked. 

"Does this mean I won't have to go back to the Dursley's?" 

Severus smiled, "If you want to stay with me over the summer, you're welcome to." 

Harry nodded, "Thank you." 

"I wanted to take you when your mother died. However, I was only twenty, much too young to take care of a baby by myself." Severus sighed. "Believe me, if I had one wish, it would be to have been able to get to know you better." 

"Even though I look like James?" 

"There's a downside to everything." Severus smiled once more, "Although I could cast the counter spell, if you would like." 

Harry's eyes widened. "I didn't even think of that." 

"I might just do it in the middle of the night while you're asleep anyway. I'll turn you back, of course, but I've always wondered what my daughter would have looked like. Most likely, you'd be a male version of her." 

Harry thought for a moment, "I'd still have my scar though, right?" 

Severus nodded, "Unfortunately." 

Harry sat perfectly still for a moment, then looked up at Severus. "Do it." 

Severus looked surprised, "Right now? Are you sure?" 

Harry nodded, "If James was truly as bad as he seems, I don't want anything to do with him." 

"I will show you what you would have looked like; however, I will not keep you that way until I get permission from your Papa." Severus said absent-minded. 

"My Papa?" Harry asked. 

Severus shook his head, "I'm sorry. The nickname your mother gave Dumbledore." 

Harry nodded, "Why not though?" 

"Because no one would know what to make of it. All of the sudden, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, looking completely different." 

Harry nodded, "Ok, good point. So can you?" 

Severus nodded and quickly conjured up a mirror. "I'm not sure if this will be painful or not… Just bear with me." 

A moment later, Harry saw a flash of gold light leave Severus' wand and hit him, full force. He felt his cheekbones stretch out and his spine lengthen. A moment later, the transformation was done. 

Severus was speechless. Standing in front of him was himself, twenty years ago, with few exceptions; Harry still had Lily's eyes and his hair was still black, but a bit longer. He was at least five inches taller, nearing 6 feet. He stood up next to Harry and saw that he was only a few inches shorter than himself. 

"So, how do I look?" Harry asked anxiously. 

"Like my son." Severus answered, still in awe. He handed Harry the mirror, watching his expression change from curiosity to his own: awe. 

"I look exactly like you." Harry said quietly. "And I'm taller than Ron." 

"Do you like it?" Severus asked, unable to take his eyes off Harry. 

"Yes, actually. It might take a little getting used to, but it's much better than looking like James." 

Severus smiled, "It's amazing… I'm looking at myself, twenty years ago." 

"I still can't believe it. You're my father." Harry shook his head, hair falling into his eyes. "For all these years… You were right here." 

"I'm sorry." Severus said quietly, "I should have at least informed you of the possibility." 

"No, I'm glad you didn't." Harry said, "I don't know how I would have reacted… But knowing for sure makes it better." 

"This has to be painful for you. I'm sorry about that, but you have no idea how glad I am that you're… my son…" the words were foreign to Severus, but somehow they seemed right. 

"I never got to thank you for saving my life in first year." Harry said slowly, "So I'm going to now. Thanks, Dad."   



	39. Family Ties

snape39 Wow... 200 reviews. I love you guys! When I got home today, I had 25 reviews waiting for me... It's a new record! Made my day, I'll tell you that. I also rented Galaxy Quest, which stars Alan Rickman. Any of you guys know who he is? I'll give you two hints... 1.) November 16th, 2001. 2.) Severus Snape. Get it now? He plays Professor Snape in the Harry Potter movie... I'm still laughing about it. If you've never seen G.Q, rent it and imagine the man with the fin-bubble-purpleish-brain head as Snape. You'll soon realize why I haven't been able to stop laughing for the past hour... I'm easily amused, sorry. He's perfect for the part, really soft spoken and BRITISH as hell... He can look mean as anything, also.   
"You broke the bloody ship!" "It's always about you, isn't it?" ("Where are you going?") "To see if there's a pub." "So you managed to get your shirt off..." - coming from Snape? Holy shit... Sorry, it's Friday, I'm giddy. Happy reading.   
Lana   


That night, Harry went up to see Professor Dumbledore with his father. Severus had transformed him back to look like he had before, trying to reason with Harry's objections. He noticed a change in the way Harry acted towards him; not nearly as cold, and almost as if he wanted Severus to start acting like his father. The boy had been deprived most of his life of parents and couldn't wait to start having a father figure in his life. 

Harry had also noticed a change in Severus- he was less cold towards other students, and positively warm towards him. It amazed him how much the man could change in a matter of 24 hours. 

Before the two could knocked on the large oak doors, Dumbledore swung them open himself with a smile on his face. 

"Severus, Harry. I've been expecting you." The two walked into his office, both only mildly surprised at Dumbledore's greeting. 

"I assume you two are now at the very least talking?" he asked, sitting down behind his desk. Harry nodded and spoke before Severus got the chance. 

"Headmaster… what am I supposed to call you?" he asked, squirming a bit uncomfortably. 

Dumbledore laughed lightly , "Your Mother called me Papa, your grandfather called me Grandpapa, your great grandfather called me Granddad, your great-great grandmother called me Pa, and your great-great-great-grandfather called me Dad." 

Harry thought for a moment, "Grandfather, until something a bit more… err…" 

"Personal?" Dumbledore supplied. 

"Thanks… until something a bit more personal comes along." Harry continued, "Actually, we – " he looked over towards Severus, " – have something to show you." 

Dumbledore looked only mildly interested. "Go on." 

Harry stood up and faced Severus, while he took out his wand and pointed at Harry. "Finite Incantatem!" 

Harry immediately transformed into his true body once more this time welcoming the stretching of his bones and muscles. Once he felt it stop, he looked over at Dumbledore with a hopefully expression on his face. 

"Well?" Harry asked. 

Dumbledore was shocked. "Severus, you figured out how to reverse Lily's curse… He looks exactly like you." 

"Scary, isn't it?" Severus chuckled. 

Dumbledore shook his head once more, "It's amazing." 

"I was wondering if I could just keep my Mum's curse off and stay like this?" Harry asked, his voice a bit deeper. 

"Not at the moment, but once everyone knows, then I suppose it would be ok." Dumbledore smiled, "You still have her eyes though." 

Harry grinned, flashing his now slightly crooked teeth. "I also want to change my name." 

"Harry, give yourself a little time… This is all so sudden, give yourself a while to get used to it instead of jumping in head first." 

"Headmaster, grandfather, sir… I have spent the past four years of my life hating my father and trying to remember a man that my mother hated. I realize all of this is sudden, but I trust her judgment more than anyone else's. If she thought he was worthy to be my Dad, then so be it… He's my Dad." Harry took in a deep breath, "I've never had a proper family. Even when James and my mother were married, he wasn't my proper father. I don't want to waste anymore time; I don't care about what ever kind of grudge I once had – it's gone. Fifteen years of not knowing, fifteen years of being deceived; I need to know." 

Dumbledore put his head in his hands and thought. Severus could hear the rapid train of thoughts running through his mind at such a speed even he couldn't understand them. Finally a clear thought came through. 

I>Severus, do you wish to partake in Harry's ideas?/I> 

Severus nodded. "Yes." 

Harry shook his head, "Can't you two just talk aloud?" 

Dumbledore and Severus both chuckled; "Yes, he's definitely your son, Severus. But are you sure?" 

"Sir, I'm 36 years old. When I was 21, when Lily died, I was too unstable and much too young. However, I have established a life for myself and I wish to bring Harry into it, if he is willing." 

"Harry?" Dumbledore asked. 

"Grandfather… I want a family." Harry said quietly. "Please." 

"Harry, to the world, you are the Boy Who Lived. Harry Potter, you, is known all over the world for doing something he had no control over. Harry Snape has never lived; he is not known, he has a past no one knows about, and is the product of a tangled web very few people on this Earth are aware of. Are you certain?" 

"Harry Potter is a fake; Potter is a disguise to hide him behind because he didn't know the truth. He is the Boy Who Lived only because of his father – his real father. Harry Snape has lived for fifteen years without knowing his own family. Harry Snape is the reason Harry Potter ever existed. Although Harry Snape is the product of a tangled web no one knows about, Harry Potter is the product of an abusive man who didn't loved him or ever showed his wife any sympathy. Harry Potter has never existed; he has always been Harry Snape." Harry finished, a flicker of light in his eyes dancing. 

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore repeated once more. "Once the truth is known, you can never go back." 

"I am not Harry Potter, nor was I ever Harry Potter. I have always been Harry Snape; to you, to my mother, to my father, even to myself without realizing it. I want - … I _need_ to know who I am." 

"Very well." Dumbledore nodded, "Give me one week, then I promise you, you shall become Harry Snape and Harry Potter will cease to exist." 

Both Harry and Severus smiled; "Thank you." 

The two got up and left the room immediately after Severus changed his son back into Harry Potter. The two parted ways at the staircase near the end of the corridor after planning to meet the next day after classes were over. Harry was anxious to see Ron and Hermiones' reaction to the news of him becoming Harry Snape. He ran up to the painting of the Fat Lady and quickly mumbled the password (Dragon Blood), climbing in as soon as she swung her hinges open. 

"Harry!" Ron exclaimed, dragging him up. "Where have you been? You missed dinner." 

Harry shook his head, "Sorry, I was talking to – err – Professor Snape." 

"Does he seem happy about the whole thing?" Hermione asked, the two dragging Harry into an empty corner of the Gryffindor common room. 

"Surprisingly enough, yeah." Harry commented, "He seems… ecstatic, if you want to call it that." 

Ron's eyes opened wide, "I don't think I've ever even seen Snape smile. Are you sure it wasn't your imagination?" 

"Trust me, Ron." Harry grinned, "In one week, I'll be Harry Snape." 

It was Hermione's turn to look flabbergasted. "Harry – Snape?" 

"He even took off the curse that made me look like James." Harry grinned, "I look exactly like him, it's scary." 

Ron shook his head, "This is going to take a lot of getting used to." 

"Ron, be happy for me, please? I've never had any proper family in my life, and when I finally discover my father's been by me for nearly a third of my life now, I want to get to know him. You have both of your parents and a large family; you've never felt the sense of having no one to talk to. Sure, it's Snape, but why not? My Mum loved him, so he can't be all that bad. The reason he hated me was because he thought I was James' son, and even then he was trying to protect me. I need to get to know him, at least. It's going to be strange, I'll admit to that; but for once in my life, I have a family of my own. I'm happy; I have a father and a grandfather now, two people who are going to have to look after me… I'm tired of having to take care of myself all the time; I want someone to yell at me, someone to not let me do something just because he has the power to. I need this. Please?" Harry pleaded. 

Ron sighed once more, "It's going to take a lot of getting used to, and I mean a lot." 

Harry grinned, then turned towards Hermione. "Please?" 

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "How am I ever going to recognize you?" 

Harry laughed, "That reminds me… Ron, I'm going to be taller than you now." 

Ron looked horror-struck; "The midget in glasses, taller than me? Never!" 

"Believe it." Harry grinned, "I'm almost 6 feet tall." 

"Never, not until I see it. Even then, I'll make Mum magic me up a few inches." 

"You'll still be even with me." Harry commented. "You're only 5'9." 

"And a lovely 5'9 I shall stay." Ron smirked, "You're going to make this really hard on us, aren't you?" 

"As hard as I can." Harry grinned, "And until then, you can call me a midget as many times as you'd like." 

"Really?" Ron exclaimed happily, "Joy of all joys." 

Hermione grinned, "Does this mean I'll be the shortest?" 

"By about four inches, sorry 'Mione." Harry shrugged. 

"6 feet? Good Lord…" Ron shook his head, "Never. Never never never…"   



	40. No Longer

snape40 Am I allowed to complain? Because my hands hurt like you wouldn't believe and I'm getting a major crick in my neck... O well, new part, hope you enjoy. Feel free to review... I know I'm taking Harry's whole "YAY! I have a Daddy!" thing quickly, but it *sort of* gets explained in this chapter. Read between the lines and you'll get it.   
Lana   


The week went by as slowly as Harry could have ever imagined; he spent as much time with Severus as possible, trying desperately to learn about the man who was his father. He listened intently as Severus went one about how he was in his Hogwarts years, how he was with Lily, how he felt towards James and his friends, anything and everything Harry dared to ask. Finally, the day before the one-week mark, he asked his father what he felt like when he was with her. Unable to answer the question with mere words in fear of diminishing their love, he sighed. 

"I can show you, but I must warn you – " Severus shook his head, "You'll see a side of your mother that will make you turn red, and you'll see a side of me you wouldn't believe possible." 

Harry didn't care, "Show me. I want to know…" 

Severus nodded, then walked over to Harry and touched his shoulder gently. "Just as the Memory Potion did, you will experience a flash of events – however, these aren't your memories, they're mine." 

Harry nodded, "Please, show me." 

Severus closed his eyes and brought back all of his memories of her, everything from before their relationship to conceiving Harry to her dying – everything. With a flash of energy, he felt his thoughts and feelings being transferred over to Harry. With a jolt, he grasped his shoulder hard enough to leave marks. 

_He felt himself loathing her… however, the feeling quickly changed to fondness and then to love. He saw them kiss; he felt them connect in a way he had never experienced. He saw them together, in her bed, the night their daughter was conceived. He felt the happiness, the ecstasy, the love his father felt for Lily. He felt the explosion of passion they had felt, nearly twenty years before.___

_ The scene before him switched to the day Severus found out Lily was pregnant; a mixture of joy and confusion washed through his body, but eventually the confusion succumbed to the joy and happiness Severus felt for his daughter. The scene once again changed to days before the Christmas season, when Severus was panicking because he couldn't find her; the relief he felt when Professor McGonagall told him she was alive, the sudden grief and sadness he felt when Dumbledore told him she had lost the baby.___

_ Once again, a different scene flashed before his eyes; this time it was of the two standing in Dumbledore's office, side by side, the moment they were married. The scene flashed to that night; their wedding night. Severus was right; he could feel his ears turn bright red as he saw what the two were doing in full detail.___

_ The scene shifted once more to the night before they broke up; January 24th. Sadness and regret filled him to the core as he saw the two dance, both crying. He had never seen Severus cry; it was all new to him. He felt his sadness turn to anger as he felt Severus punch Lucius Malfoy for saying something unwanted. Hatred began to surge through Harry as he saw James and Lily together at the Gryffindor table, and once again, her in a white dress and him in a black tux. A new sound filled his ears; his mother pleading with Severus to take her away, to object to her marrying James. A new kind of grief filled Harry, as he felt empty, drained.___

_ His emotions soon changed as he witnessed his parents' last times being together, in a small hotel room. He knew it was the night he was conceived… he didn't know how, he just knew. The emotion intensified as he saw his mother lying on a bed in a white room, screaming with pain with Dumbledore on one side, Severus and Remus Lupin on her other. He witnessed his own birth, his mother crying on the bed and screaming obscenities at Severus and James, who had arrived moments before he was born.___

_ A year passed before him, and he saw his mother standing in the window. Instead of his eyes, he was looking through Severus' now. He saw his mother curse him, and then he shuddered as he witnessed two jets of green light, one lasting much longer than it should have. He felt extreme depression fill him as Severus hit the wall of the Potter's cottage, watching as the building crumbled to the ground. He felt near insanity setting in as he felt Severus pick a baby – Harry – up and set him down, then move on to Lily. He felt the sobs that thundered through Severus' body as he held Lily's bloody and broken body for hours.___

_ He felt the pain Severus had felt as he saw Harry for the first time, looking exactly as James did. He saw Severus read Lily's letter, a new emotion well up inside him; hope, almost. A newfound light, in a way. He saw himself walk into the office and a sense of pride and a flicker of… love, perhaps? It didn't last long, as he was seeing himself as Severus saw him; Lily's child. Then, as the scene changed once again, he saw himself as Severus' son, looking exactly like him. Pride filled him, but the scene changed once more to a room Harry assumed was in the castle. He recognized it as the room Lily and Severus had shared during their seventh year at Hogwarts. He saw Severus lying on the four-poster bed, holding a picture of Lily.___

_ It had happened days ago; Severus had avoided taking his Dreamless Sleep potion, and Harry nearly screamed as the dreams and images that Severus dreamt filled his own mind. The face of Lord Voldemort killing his daughter, killing his wife, and nearly killing his son. The pain mixed in with the years after Lily's death, the hatred he felt for James seeping into his feelings for Harry, as he was a miniature version of James Potter. Once again, he felt a surge of energy run through his body as the visions stopped._

Harry opened his eyes, his body trembling. Looking up into the eyes of Severus, he suddenly felt sorrow for this man past anything he had ever experienced; knowing how Lily and Severus felt for each other was frightening, as he had never seen Severus express emotions of any kind. The pain he felt was still flashing through his mind. Harry shook his head and looked up at Severus one last time. 

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled, "I ruined everything, I'm sorry." 

Severus shook his head, "This is what I was afraid of. You did not ruin everything; Lord Voldemort would have come after Lily eventually anyway. Do not blame yourself; never blame yourself." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Harry asked, "You should listen to yourself for once… You tried to save Mum, and yet you blame yourself just as much as I do now." 

"Harry, I showed you because I thought you deserved to know. I knew you wouldn't be able to handle certain aspects, but I also know you had to know." 

Harry nodded, "Thank you… But… God, this is so hard." He sighed, "I know all this happened, in the back of my mind, but it's so hard to absorb. A week ago, I wouldn't have cared if you were dead or alive… Now though, you're the only family I have. I suppose if Mum were alive, it'd be different, maybe I wouldn't jump into this whole father-son thing so quickly… But you were the closest thing to her, and she loved you. You helped her create me… It's so hard to take in, but I do know it happened." 

"Harry, are you sure you want the world to know this soon?" Severus asked, "Your whole identity that you've known all your life will be gone. It's only been a week; why so soon?" 

"Because I can't stand having the name Potter attached to me while I have no relation to him; he was abusive, he hurt my Mum. I might look like him, but god help me if I ever turn out like him. Having him as a part of me is a disgrace… Besides, the longer it takes, the harder it'll be for the world to accept. We might as well just get it over with now." Harry sighed, "I just want to know where I belong." 

"You belong here," Severus answered quietly, "Whether you accept it or not, you are my son and you belong with me. If Lily was still alive, you would have grown up with my name, with my looks; it would be no different than as if James never existed. However, you grew up the way your mother thought best for you. I believe you're old enough to make your own decisions now, and I trust you to do what you think was best; what you believe your mother would have wanted you to do." 

Harry took in a deep breath, "I believe she would have wanted me to know you, both as a person and my father. I don't think she intended for me to look like this forever, so now's as good a time as any to switch back to the way I was supposed to be. Like you said, she didn't know I would be Voldemort's downfall; she just wanted me to grow up as safe as possible. I'm not quite an adult, but I'm as safe as I'll ever be. I'll be less of a target, if anything, now that I'm no longer the heir of Gryffindor to Voldemort… no longer a Potter." 

Severus nodded, "As long as you want this… I don't want to make you feel you have to do anything." 

"You aren't… I want to. I know Mum would have wanted me to, so it might as well start now." 

Severus smiled, "You're definitely Lily's son…" 

Harry smirked, "You wouldn't believe how many people have told me that." 

"It's true." 

"…Thanks."   



	41. Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon

snape41 Hmm... only two reviews last night? I'm feeling hated... O well, I'll live. :o) Enjoy the chapter...   
Lana 

It was done, it was final. He walked out of his grandfather's office feeling extremely vulnerable, but somehow slightly protected by the man standing next to him, barely taller than himself. It was lunchtime, but Harry didn't feel hungry in the least. He was terrified someone would react exactly the way expected everyone to react; horrified and humorously. He was prouder than he had ever felt before, as he looked more like his mother than he ever had, and his father was seen plainly in him. It had been a week and a half since he was first notified of Severus Snape being his father, but he was slowly adjusting and accepting the idea. Having a father around wasn't nearly as bad or as uncomfortable as Harry had originally thought it would be; he knew if he ever got in a jam, Severus would be there to bail him out best he can – a definite contrast to the prior actions of the Potions Master. 

His first encounter was with Draco Malfoy; to Harry's surprise, Draco's eyes passed over him and landed on Severus without a nasty comment or look. 

"Hello, Professor." Draco drawled, "Having a good day?" 

"Much better than usual, Draco." Severus replied, smiling inwardly at the shocked look on Harry's face. 

Draco then turned towards Harry, a look of slight confusion on his face. "Who are you?" 

Harry laughed, "I'm not at all surprised you don't recognize me." 

Drano cocked his head and bit and looked up at Harry's face. "No… I don't think we've met." 

Harry shook his head, "Ok, if you insist. What's your name?" 

"Draco Malfoy. Are you a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?" 

"Gryffindor." Harry smiled wryly. 

"You? In Gryffindor? So looks can be deceiving… What's your name?" 

Harry sucked in his breath and glanced over at Severus for permission. He merely nodded. 

Harry extended his hand and as Draco took it, revealed his name. "Harry Snape. Nice to meet you." 

Draco turned towards Severus, a surprised expression on his face. "You have a son?" 

"In Gryffindor, none the less." Severus smirked. "Draco, this is my son, formerly known as Harry Potter." 

The look on Draco's face was priceless as Harry forced himself not to laugh. 

"Harry… Potter?" Draco examined his face once more. "Snape's… son?" 

"It's a long story, Draco, one of which shall be explained to you possibly later tonight." Severus waved his student off, "You will find out with the rest of the school." With that, the two kept on walking until they reached the Great Hall. Harry waited until Severus was inside, and then walked in. He felt dozens of pairs of eyes burning into the back of his neck as he quickly made his way to a spot between Ron and Hermione. When the two saw him sit down next to them, they gasped. 

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, "You look… quite different." 

"Now is that a good different or a bad different?" Harry asked quietly, glancing around the table at all the pairs of eyes starring at him. 

"It's a good different… A very good different…" Hermione smiled. 

"You're taller than me!" Ron exclaimed, "Damn it!" 

"People are starring at me…" Harry said quietly. "God…" 

"What did you expect?" Hermione asked through a mouthful of food, "Everyone to just not care? You're the most famous person in school, Harry. When you change you looks this drastically, people are bound to notice." 

"I guess I'll get used to it." Harry sighed, "But as long as I don't have to look like that… asshole… I'm perfectly fine." 

Ron noticed Harry's empty plate, "Not eating?" 

"No appetite." Harry shrugged, "Too nervous." 

"So are you now officially Harry Snape?" Ron asked quietly, making sure no one else could hear him. 

"Yeah… I wanted to share the same last name as my Mum and Dad, so I figured I might as well change it also. Gets rid of the whole Potter genes." Harry shuddered, "Ron, promise me, if I so much as look at my girlfriend the wrong way, smack me upside the head." 

"That's a will do." Ron nodded, "Can I punch you too?" 

"Feel free to do anything, as long as I can still produce children afterward." Harry grinned, "Oh, by the way.." 

Hermione's eyes widened. "Don't tell me…?" 

Ron choked on the piece of fruit he was swallowing, "Harry! Good God, I didn't need to know that." 

"I guess there's a reason Mum preferred Severus to James." Harry laughed, "But we won't get into that." 

"I think I just lost my appetite." Ron sighed. 

"You're really bigger? It changed everything?" Hermione asked, still wide eyed. 

"'Mione!" Ron exclaimed, "That's private!" 

"Not if he insists on broadcasting it all over the Great Hall…" Hermione shrugged, "Why, are you jealous?" 

Ron looked flabbergasted, "Me, jealous? Why on Earth would I be jealous? I…" he glared at Hermione, "Never mind. No, I'm not jealous in the least bit. I have no reason to be." 

"You know what they say about tall guys." Hermione smirked at Ron's obvious discomfort. "Let me see your hands." 

Ron sighed and held out a splayed hand. Hermione took on of Harry's hands and put it up against Ron's. 

"Same size… Congratulations, Ron. You have nothing to be jealous of." 

"God Harry, how much did you grow?" Ron asked, slightly miffed. 

"Do you mean height or…?" Harry asked. 

"Height! What do you think I meant?" 

"Well, as the subject was on – " 

"Height." Ron interrupted him. "Just height." 

"5 inches." Harry answered, "I went up two sizes in shoes also." 

"Not bad." Ron commented. "So when's the official introduction going to take place?" 

"Tonight during dinner." Harry said, "I'm nervous." 

"No one knows who you are as of now." Hermione commented, "So you'll be fine." 

Harry shrugged, "It's not that, it's just… the most hated teacher in school, former Death Eater. Actually…" He thought for a moment, "He never really was a Death Eater. Worked for my grandfather the whole time, apparently." 

"How do you know that?" Ron asked. 

"He let me see his past with my Mum." Harry admitted, "Yesterday. To make sure I wanted to do this." 

"What did you see?" Hermione asked eagerly, leaning forward slightly. 

"Very few things I didn't already know, but the emotions were intense, to say the least. It was if I had taken Sna – …my Dad's place. I saw things no one else had ever seen before; their first times, which was rather disgusting, their last time as a married couple without James in the picture, which was also rather sad and disgusting… The time I was conceived… That was amazing, I gotta tell you." Harry shook his head, "Still, the thought of Snape and my Mum… it hasn't quite sunk in yet. James was an asshole, I came to terms with that the moment Dumbledore told me. I've accepted the fact Severus is my father; that was almost as easy. I've always wanted a family, so to me it was a natural progression, I guess. But my Mum shagging Snape? That's just a little over the top for me." 

Ron shook his head in disgust, "I'll second that. I can't see Snape having any kind of love life, even if you are the byproduct of it." 

"I think it's sweet." Hermione said, sighing slightly. "Everyone falls in love at some point in their life – why not early on?" 

"Because it's just disgusting." Ron shook his head once more, as if he was trying to get rid of the thought. 

"I guess you'll get used to it," Harry shrugged. "It's a relief to finally know for sure, even though I was certain for fifteen years. I feel a lot better now." 

"Don't look now, but Malfoy's coming this way." Ron said quietly, turning away from Draco's gaze. 

Harry looked up, an amused expression on his face. "Yes?" 

Draco crossed his arms in front of him, "This isn't some sick joke, is it? Because if it is, Potter, this is an all time low." 

Harry shook his head, "No joke, Draco. And it's Snape now, not Potter." 

"Why'd you do it?" Draco persisted, "Especially with your fame." 

"I don't think you'd understand, Draco." Harry shot back, "Especially with your understanding of family." 

Draco smirked, "I still don't believe you're his son… Everyone knows about the whole Potter/Evans/Snape love triangle. My father told me a long time ago… They almost got married, you know. Snape got your mother pregnant, but even though it wasn't the first time, I suppose it wasn't the last, was it?" 

Harry resisted the urge to punch him. He slowly stood up, watching Draco's expression as he towered over him. "Draco, run along. I could squish you like a bug if I wanted to, and I'm the last person you want to cause trouble with." 

Draco shook his head, "You do realize how unbelievable your story is? I wouldn't be surprised if you got expelled for cooking this up with Snape." 

Harry scoffed, "Good thing Dumbledore's my great-great-great-great-grandfather then, eh?" 

Draco paled slightly, then back away. "Suit yourself, Potter. Oh wait, so sorry, Snape." 

Harry sat back down and unclenched his fists. "That son of a bitch…" 

"Now, now… Narcissa wasn't nearly as bad as her husband." A voice spoke up behind him. Harry spun around quickly, just as he realized who it was. 

"Sorry." He smiled sheepishly, looking up at Severus. "Son of a bastard, then?" 

"Much more appropriate." Severus nodded, looking down at Ron and Hermione. "Getting along well now?" 

Harry grinned, "It's nice not having anyone recognize me for a chance, but it's a bit eerie having people stare at me like they are." 

"They're get used to it." Severus shrugged, "To humans, what is new is always different, and what is different is always worth a stare, no matter how obvious." 

"True." Hermione agreed with him, speaking up a bit. 

Severus looked down at her, "I'm sure both of you knew the whole story just as Harry learned it." 

"Yes sir." Ron answered, trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

"I assure you, Ron, I'm not going to put a hex on you." Severus chuckled a bit. Ron shot Hermione an odd glance. Snape was laughing - with Gryffindors, no less. 

"I have to prepare for my next class. I'll see you three later this afternoon?" Severus asked. The three of them nodded in unison. "Very well then… If anyone gives you any trouble, Harry, get either Dumbledore or myself. Goodbye." 

With a swish of his cloak, he disappeared among the students.. Ron let out a breath he had been holding while Hermione just shook her head. 

"What did you do to him? He's definitely changed." 

"Strange, isn't it?" Harry sighed, "It's almost as if he's a whole other person." 

"Maybe he was, when you Mum was alive." Ron suggested. "Losing a loved one can definitely change people.' 

Harry shrugged, "Maybe.. It's definitely entirely possible." With that, the three got up and left the Great Hall, moving on to their next class.   



	42. Known To The World

snape42 So sorry about only updating *once* yesterday... Emergency babysitting job. I dyed my hair red too... It was originally really dark brown, so it's only red when I'm in the light... yay!   
Lana   


No one seemed to recognize him that day; however, as he took the place their beloved Harry Potter usually sat, his classmates slowly got the picture. Before dinner, the school was buzzing about his new look; he had been approached multiple times and asked why he looked the way he did. He just smiled and shook his head, telling them they'd find out along with the rest of the school. 

Dinner finally came, and Harry was approached by Professor McGonagall before he left the Gryffindor common room. She instructed him to follow her, and she led him to the dungeons, where Severus' office was. Harry could just see the inside of the office, where Dumbledore and Severus were standing impatiently. 

"So sorry, Headmaster, it took me a while to find him." Professor McGonagall opened the door just as Severus and Dumbledore were standing up. 

"That's quite all right, Minerva. Shall we, Harry?" Dumbledore led the way as the three followed him to the Great Hall, where the rest of the school's population was. Harry followed the three up to the Head Table, but stood behind Dumbledore and Severus when they took their seats. Dumbledore waited for a moment, then stood up to get the students' attention. 

"Good evening, students, and what a lovely evening it is." The ceiling of the Great Hall was slowly turning orange and pink and reflecting against the cumulus and stratus clouds the sky was proudly showing off. 

The volume suddenly turned down from a loud roar to a soft murmur among the curious students. Almost everyone's head turned towards the High Table, waiting for Dumbledore's speech.   
  
"I'm sure some of you have noticed a certain student of ours different appearance, and I'm also sure some of you have been curious as to how and why." Dumbledore observed most of the Gryffindor table nodding. "My great-great-great-great-grandson, Harry Potter, has come across some his family history he didn't know of as of earlier this month. I'm sure almost all of you are familiar with the Potters' story and the first downfall of Lord Voldemort. I will not go in to detail of the story, but it has come to my, Harry's, and Professor Snape's attention that not only was James Potter not Harry's father, but Professor Snape in fact is." 

The roar of volume returned as the Great Hall reacted to this news. Harry Potter, the one who had defeated the Dark Lord and escaped him three more times, was in fact their most hated teacher's son? For most, it came as a shock, but to Ron, Hermione, and Draco, it was old news. The three watched as the rest of the school reacted, Ron trying not to laugh at his brothers' disbelief. 

"Harry Potter is Snape's _son_?" Fred bellowed, "Impossible!" 

"How can that Death Eater be related to him? His mother must have been under the Imperious Curse." George snickered, "Poor Harry." 

"He seems to be taking it fairly well." Ron noticed, looking up between Snape and Dumbledore to where Harry was standing, arms crossed and eyes downcast.   
  
"Ah, so is that him?" Fred commented, "He looks different." 

"Dumbledore'll get to that." Hermione said, taking a bite of her steak. 

As if on cue, Dumbledore silenced the hall and continued; "Before any of you start to think my granddaughter had an affair, they were legally married." He shook his head, "If I hear of any of you taking this news poorly and taking it out on either Professor Snape or Harry, you shall be dealt with accordingly. As some of you may have noticed, Harry – " he turned towards him and waved him forward, " – has a new look. His mother ended up cursing him to look exactly like James Potter, in fear of Harry's safety. However, the curse has been reversed, and Harry is now looking as he would have had it not been for his mother's curse." 

The Hall's reaction was exactly as Harry had imagined it; the outburst was deafening as students stood up to get a better look at him. His own table, Gryffindor, was divided; those who had seem Harry earlier stayed in their seats while the rest of the table stood up with everyone else, blocking Ron and Hermione's view of him. 

"I feel bad for him," Hermione said quietly, "People are going to be asking him questions for the rest of the year now." 

"All he has to do is tell them he doesn't want to talk about it." Ron answered, "It's not like he has to." 

"He definitely looks different." George said, after sitting back down to face the two. "He's taller." 

"Taller than me, in fact." Ron said grimly. "Why's his hair longer?" 

Hermione shrugged, "Like Dumbledore said, he looks as he would have if he hadn't been cursed; Maybe he would have grown his hair out a bit? It looks good on him." 

"Yeah, it does." Ginny squeaked, sitting back down next to Hermione. "He's really cute now." 

Harry was in deed better looking; He was taller and had lost the little boy look he possessed for nearly fifteen years. He no longer needed his glasses, as poor vision was a trait James had possessed, not Severus or Lily. His eyes were still as green as they had ever been, but his cheekbones were higher, more defined. His scar, no longer hidden behind a mass of bangs, shot across his lower forehead. He was lankier, but his cheeks were still as full as they had ever been. He had his mother's button nose, not Severus' crooked nose, much to Hermione and Ginny's satisfaction. His hair was still as black as ever, but was now about a half an inch below his ears, straight and neat. His face was still slightly round, thanks to his mother's genes. It didn't have the arch in it that made Severus as evil looking as he was. They also noticed a change in Severus' appearance; he wasn't nearly as lifeless as he had been before. His hair was now clean and shiny, touching his shoulders slightly. His eyes weren't downcast as they usually were, but alive and observant to everyone's reaction to Harry. He looked happier, almost, which made the shallowness in his face less noticeable. He wore a half-smile on his face, making him seems almost friendly. 

Dumbledore waited for silence once more, finishing his announcement. "Also, Harry Potter is no longer a Potter; he has requested a change of name, due to the fact he has no relation to James Potter. He is now Harry J. Evans Snape. It will take some getting used to, yes, but I trust you all to accept it. He is still the same person some of you have known for five years, in spite of appearances and name changes. Do not treat him any differently, or like I stated before, you will be dealt with accordingly." 

He nodded towards Harry to take his place among the students. He felt hundreds of pairs of eyes follow him closely as he made his way down to the Gryffindor table to take his place between Ron and Hermione. Slowly, people started talking amongst themselves once more, but once in a while they glanced over towards him, anxious to ask him why.   



	43. Wash Away Those Years

snape43 I hate work... The only day I work is on Sunday, but I still hate it. I have finals next week... Wish me luck! And yes, I do use many of your (the reader's) ideas, just because I suck at writing and you guys are awesome at coming up with stuff. Thanks. :o) A bit of humor at the beginning, to make up for all these repetitive chapters.   
Lana   


Harry ran breathlessly down to Severus' office, his hair whipping behind him. He passed multiple Slytherin students, all of whom either carefully avoided him or treated him with much more respect than he deserved or was ever shown. It was obvious his father had threatened them in a way that had scared them shitless, him being the Head of the Slytherin house. 

Harry ran into Severus' office and slammed the door behind him, breathing as hard as he ever had. Severus turned quickly towards his son, wrinkling his brow in worry. 

"Harry, are you all right?" he asked, advancing on the 16 year old. 

"No… I'm not." Harry breathed hard. "Three really… nice looking… girls just asked me out… And I don't know… Which one to say yes to… Help?" 

Severus threw his head back and laughed, "Which one do you like the best?" 

"I don't know any of them!" Harry exclaimed, "They all just cornered me and started… I don't know… Competing, saying that they were better than the girls next to them." 

Severus continued to chuckle, "Well, it seems you have a situation. What do you like in a girl?" 

Harry thought for a moment, "Smart, funny… I have to know them first, before I could ever consider dating them." 

"Do you have a specific house you prefer?" 

Harry shook his head, "What would be the fun in that? You were in Slytherin, Mum was in Gryffindor… They're opposite houses. Why should I limit myself?" 

Severus shook his head, "Don't base your relationships off your Mum and mine's. I got her pregnant during the summer before seventh year… If I hear you're going around sleeping with your girlfriend before you could properly deal with the consequences, I will have your neck." 

"What if she's not my girlfriend?" Harry asked innocently. 

Severus shook his head, looking at Harry with a smile on his face. "Then you'd better pay her well."   
  


The year continued as it would have any other way; Harry was slowly accepted, and after only a month no one continued to ask him about why he had chosen to abandon his identity as James Potter's son. He was happy with his decision; to him, it was the only way to live now that he was aware of how James acted towards his mother. Even thought he had no true memories of her, he loved her as much as any son would love a mother, and knowing he bore her enemy's name and appearance made his detest looking in the mirror before Severus had transformed him. 

Potions was much easier with the knowledge Severus wasn't going to try to make his life miserable anymore. He lightened up, both on Harry and the rest of the school. Summer vacation approached faster than Harry had expected; it seemed like no time Dumbledore was alerting the Dursleys of Harry not returning over the summer. As Harry suspected, they were overjoyed, not because his father was alive but because they didn't have to deal with his 'abnormalities' being under their roof anymore. 

Severus lived in Hogsmeade; he had moved there after he had been offered the teaching job at Hogwarts. His home was not a large one as his childhood house had been, but it was much more personal and welcoming than his childhood home had ever been. Pictures of his family and Lily adorned the walls, along with personal photos of himself and Lily, pictures he knew Harry would be excited to see. 

He had an extra bedroom that would be made into Harry's room, and on the dresser was a picture of Lily, one of Severus' favorites. He had taken it the day they were married, December 26th, 1977. She was sitting on her bed with a wide smile across her face, her hair down and school robes billowing around her. As a joke, she had exchanged her scarlet and gold Gryffindor tie for Severus' own green and silver Slytherin tie, making her auburn hair stand out even more. She was sitting with her legs crossed, her right hand fingering her wedding ring which was on her left hand. 

Harry and Severus arrived mid-afternoon the day school let out. Severus' suspicions were confirmed when Harry assured him he loved his room; It was decorated with various Quidditch teams with a large Chudley Cannons poster in the middle of his wall. The walls were a cream colour with a wooden floor and doors while the bedspread was scarlet with golden tassels, matching Lily's bed in the picture. 

Harry was amazed at how Severus was treating him; he was used to not being sneered at anymore and be taken seriously, but Severus was starting to show bits of affection towards Harry. Nothing drastic, but he tried to make Harry feel as at home as he possibly could. He was quickly accepting the fact that Harry was his son and that he was now living with him. The visual change in Harry made it easier for both Severus and Harry to feel comfortable around each other. Much to Severus' surprise, Harry didn't bother cutting his hair, letting it grow out to nearly his shoulders. Harry was not a miniature version of Severus, rather a definite cross between Lily and Severus. He had Severus' body structure and hair, but Lily's facial structure and eyes. 

Their first night together was fairly uncomfortable, but once Harry realized this was now his home also, he quickly accepted it and acted a little more like himself with each passing day. He constantly asked Severus about Lily; what she was like, how she acted. He slowly gathered a better understanding of their relationship and who James truly was. Harry insisted the two talk as much as possible, as he wanted to get to know his father better. Severus' home was the total opposite of what his personality had been and Harry wanted to get to know the man his mother had loved, not the monster of a professor he had known for four years. 

The first time Severus was Called, nearly three weeks after he and Harry had moved into their own home, he knew it was necessary. He had been informed by one of Dumbledore's spies that Voldemort thought he had been saving himself with crossing over to Dumbledore's side and was willing to give him another chance. Severus was one of his favorite Death Eaters; a typical Slytherin and much like Voldemort himself. Severus notified Harry he would be leaving and quickly Apparated to the location Voldemort was, finding himself once again amidst his fellow Death Eaters. 

"Good Afternoon, my brothers." Hearing Voldemort's voice once again sent a shiver down Severus' spine. Wondering if he should even be there, he quickly turned to face his Master. 

"I don't doubt you all have been well. As some of you may have noticed, the Daily Prophet has yet to acknowledge the fact that I have, indeed, risen again, even after two years of my existence. Unbeknownst to them, this has been of an advantage to me and my fellow brothers – you. I have heard of the wonderful destruction and chaos you all have been creating; I am proud. 

"On a more serious note, many of you have notified me of something that I could not have imagined, not even in my wildest dreams; Harry Potter is indeed, not a Potter." 

Murmurs rose through the group, but Voldemort quickly silenced them. "Instead, he is the offspring of one of the most faithful among you. It was not the curse that Lily Potter cast upon Harry on that fateful night, rather a promise I made. As many of you are aware, a wizard's promise is binding; it can not be broken. I promised this brother I would not harm anyone besides the Gryffindor Line and Lily Potter that night – I was unaware Harry was not James' son. Therefore, I had broken my promise to my faithful servant, unbeknownst to both him and myself. 

"It is now known he is Harry's father; I have no reason to go after Harry now, except revenge. But, since I do not wish to lose my Death Eater, I shall make sure his son is no longer bothered – the first brother among us to harm Harry Potter shall be punished accordingly. He is well protected by Albus Dumbledore, and I shudder to think of what he would do if he beloved Harry was harmed, as it is now not necessary. We shall not consider him a target no longer; do not bother." 

With Voldemort's last words, a mass surge of relief washed through Severus' body. He was safe, he didn't have to worry about Voldemort harming his son. Severus no longer had to check on Harry each night, making sure Voldemort had not found out his location. They were no longer protected by the charm that had once protected the Dursley's home – it was up to Severus to protect Harry. 

_ He was safe._   


  


**She came calling**   
**One early morning**   
**She showed her crown of thorns**   
**She whispered softly**   
**To tell a story**   
**About how she had been wronged**   
**As she lay lifeless**   
**He stole her innocence**   
**And this is how she carried on**   
**Well I guess she closed her eyes**   
**And just imagined everything's alright**   
**But she could not hide her tears**   
**'Cause they were sent to wash away those years**   
**They were sent to wash away those years**   
**My anger's violent**   
**But still I'm silent**   
**When tragedy strikes at home**   
**I know this decadence Is shared by millions**   
**Remember you're not alone**   
**For we have crossed many oceans**   
**And we labor in between**   
**In life there are many quotients**   
**And I hope I find the mean**   
**-Creed, "Wash Away Those Years"**

_I know, about forty chapters too late... But I just found it (out of over 100 CDs, sorry) and hey, it works! Lily's experiences in Severus' POV._   



	44. Truce?

snape44 New chapter... A lot of people asked about Sirius and Remus' actions, so here you go... :o)   
Aimee (Lana's starting to bug me...) 

It was in early July that Harry faced Sirius Black and Remus Lupin for the first time as Severus' son. As a surprise for Harry, the two were offered one of the extra bedrooms in the Snape home for a week; Both Remus and Sirius jumped at the chance to spend some time with Harry, regardless of the fact he wasn't James' son. He was Lily's son, and that's all that mattered to them. 

Remus showed up on July 5th with Sirius in his Animagus form; Sirius was still on the run from the Ministry of Magic even though all of Dumbledore's group had repeatedly confirmed Peter Pettigrew was alive and had admitted to killing those 12 Muggles. 

Severus bid hello to the two as they made themselves comfortable in the kitchen; Harry was still upstairs, unaware of Remus and Sirius' visit. Severus called him down quickly, and moments later the three could hear his heavy footsteps tromping down the steps. 

"Yeah D – " Harry stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Remus and Sirius sitting next to his father, mugs of tea in their hands. 

"Hello, Harry." Remus smiled and stood up. "It's lovely to see again." 

"Harry old boy!" Sirius exclaimed, "What happened? You grew half a foot!" 

Harry laughed, hugging Remus then Sirius, whom he now towered over. "I grew up a bit." 

"I'll say…" Remus grinned, "It suits you much better than James' look." 

Harry nodded, glancing over towards Severus. "I think so too." 

Severus smiled a bit, lingering back until Sirius pulled him forward. "Yes, you definitely look like your father… But you can see bits of your Mum in your face." 

Harry grinned broadly, "Really?" 

Sirius nodded, agreeing. "Lily would have been proud." 

Harry smiled once more, taking his place next to Severus, facing Remus and Sirius. "So how have you two been?" 

"Eh, same old, same old." Remus shrugged, "The Full Moon, Dumbledore's meetings, attending to dear old Sirius here… He needs to be let out every few hours, you see." 

Sirius threw his head back and laughed, "And I have been eating, sleeping, shitting, and running from those bastards that still have it in for me." 

Harry nodded, "Wonderful." 

The conversation continued for a few more hours, during which Severus conjured up one of his more American meals: cheeseburgers and chips. 

It was nearly midnight when Harry was whisked off to bed by Severus, insisting he needed his rest. When he came back from making sure Harry was at least trying to sleep, he saw Remus and Sirius sitting perfectly silent. 

"So?" Severus asked anxiously, taking his place opposite from them. 

"It's amazing," Remus shook his head, "If I hadn't know it was him, I would have never believed it." 

Severus nodded, glancing over his shoulder. "He insisted he wanted to look like he would have; I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted." 

"I don't blame him," Sirius growled, "As good a friend as James was, he was a bastard to Lily." 

Severus was slightly taken back by Sirius' attitude towards James. He had expected him to at least stand up for his friend, if not completely protest his godson's new look. 

"Yes, he was." Severus said quietly. 

Remus shook his head once more, "It's going to take some getting used to. I knew there was a possibility Harry was your son, but after he grew up to look exactly like James…" 

"Harry Snape. Hard to imagine." Sirius chuckled, "And to think we hated you less than twenty years ago." 

"Hopefully that has passed?" Severus questioned, "You are Harry's godfather. I want you to have a relationship with him; Remus, you've been so incredibly supportive of Lily and I… sorry, _were_ supportive of us. I don't want to have to fight with Harry to let you two see him." 

"Of course not, we're both glad you're his father. James didn't deserve to have children that way, especially with a woman as great as Lily." Remus said quietly. 

"As much as it pains me to do this…" Sirius stuck out his hand, "Truce?" 

Severus took it cautiously, shaking his hand firmly. "Truce."   
  


The week passed quickly, and soon Remus and Sirius had left. Beforehand, Severus had brewed the Wolfsbane potion for Remus in gratitude for visiting. Harry had been walking on clouds for seven days; Severus had never seen him happier than when he was with Sirius and Remus. 

Two days later, during breakfast, Harry asked a question Severus had never even considered: 

"Dad, could you let me read minds too?" 

Severus was incredibly taken back; Harry knew both he and Lily could read minds and was probably wondering why he couldn't. 

"You're a bit too young, Harry." Severus answered, his eyes flickering up over his Daily Prophet. 

"But you were my age when you could." Harry pointed out. 

"No, I was a year older. I had no choice in the matter, Voldemort gave me the gift. I gave it to Lily only because it was the only way to communicate and I couldn't stand not being with her. You, however, are here and there is no reason for you to be able to read minds. I can also control minds; so could Lily but she never knew it." 

"So you could make Voldemort jump off a bridge or something?" Harry asked, eyes widening. 

Severus chuckled, "I suppose I could, but that certainly wouldn't kill him; it would hardly cause a scratch." 

Harry shrugged, "Well, what if I ever met up with him again and I couldn't fight him?" 

"You won't." Severus said, "You are no longer a target." 

Harry's expression turned to one of surprised, "When did this happen?" 

"When Voldemort found out you are my son." Severus answered, "To kill a Death Eater's son is like killing a future Death Eater. It would be expected of you to follow in my footsteps. However, as you are directly related to Dumbledore, Voldemort would not allow you to join his ranks, even if you wanted to." 

Harry nodded, "Well that's a relief." 

"You have no idea." Severus commented, shaking his head. "Each time you leave the house I worry about you constantly; now I have one less thing to worry about." 

"Why are you worried?" Harry asked, "I can take care of myself." 

Severus smiled, "Believe it or not, Harry, you are not immortal, as many young people your age choose to believe." 

Harry grinned sheepishly, "I know, I just… Well, I've gotten away from Voldemort multiple times, why wouldn't I be able to get away from anyone else?" 

Severus shook his head, "Harry, please, what ever you do, do not start to believe you are better than any wizard; it will be your death." He sighed once more, "Never overestimate yourself, it will be the last thing you ever do. You are a very talented wizard for any age, but you have yet to truly be tested in a battle. The only reason you survived your last encounter with Voldemort is because your wands are brothers. Otherwise, you would have perished. In school, you are talented; you know many things. However, to a fully trained wizard, to control you would be as easy or easier than taking candy from a baby." 

Harry nodded, "I understand." He thought for a moment, "Would it be ok if one of my friends visited in August? Maybe right before school starts?" 

Severus thought for a moment, "Which one?" 

Harry shrugged, "Ron, probably. He could get here by Floo Powder easily." 

"A Weasley? Hmm… It would be interesting." Severus thought for another minute, "I suppose, as long as his parents are ok with it." 

"They will be." Harry said happily. "The end of August, then?" 

Severus nodded, "End of August."   



	45. Everything To Do With You

snape45 Wow, my first A/N within the story... Cool. :o) A bit more mush, only because I'm trying to get you guys used to the fact that, regardless of JK Rowling's way of doing things, Snape and Harry are father and son in my story. This is NOT her story, it's just a little piece of my imagination. I know it's hard to think of Snape as Harry's Dad... believe me, I cringe whenever I type "Dad" or "Son". Just deal with it, guys, please? For the first few chapters, "I still can't believe it!" was ok, but ten chapters later is a bit much, ok? I'm not yelling, I just want to get a bit more of a reaction than "I still can't believe it!". Please? I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a b-tch, I don't mean it at all. You guys are awesome, never doubt that. :o) The end's coming soon... I have it maped out on a little piece of notebook paper on my desk, sitting in front of me... Only I know what happens... *evil cackle*. Ok, I'm done.   
Aimee   


Harry woke up on July 31st at the crack of dawn; glancing over at his clock, he sighed and rolled over, trying to get back to sleep, before he realized it was his birthday. Even then, it took him a moment to remember he was going to have a true birthday this year, not one with the Dursleys. He debated with himself for a moment whether or not to get up when he heard the clattering of dishes coming from the kitchen. He rose and quickly dressed, combing his now shoulder-length hair quickly and rushing downstairs. 

He saw Severus sitting down at the table, a mug of coffee in his hands. He smiled feebly at Harry, who sat down next to him.   
  
"What's wrong?" Harry asked instantly. 

"Nothing you should be concerned with." Severus answered. "Happy Birthday, by the way." 

Harry grinned, "Thanks." 

Once they had finished breakfast, Harry walked into the sitting room to find piles of presents from Severus, Remus, Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and many other friends and family members he never knew he had, such as Dumbledore's other great-grandchildren, many of which were ecstatic to find they were related to the Boy Who Lived._ (A/N: Can't call him Harry Potter anymore… damn.)_

Severus walked in just as Harry started tackling the pile. He sat down and watched Harry open present after present, looking amazed at the fact people he never even met had sent him gifts. He watched as Harry carefully took down everyone's name and the present they had sent, and then tried to suppress the urge to laugh as Harry unwrapped a cardboard box. 

"Who the hell sent this to me?" Harry exclaimed, examining the bright colored box. "Condoms?" 

Severus couldn't help himself; he started laughing as hard as he ever had. "My bet is Dumbledore." 

"But why?" Harry asked, confused. 

"Like I said before, I was your age when I got your mother pregnant; the memory is still probably fresh in your grandfather's mind." 

"God…" Harry sighed, a smile escaping from his lips. "You two enjoy torturing me, don't you?" 

"Indeed." Severus nodded, "Now keep on going… You haven't reached mine yet." 

Harry reached for one of the smaller presents bearing his name in Severus' curvy handwriting. He opened it quickly, and then smiled. 

"A Pensive?" 

Severus nodded once more, "I figured it would be a good place to store the memories you have received from me. Also, as you grow older, you will find it to be of much use." 

"Thank you." Harry said sincerely, "Do you have one?" 

Severus nodded, "I do. However, I have not used it in nearly three years." 

"Why not?" Harry asked. 

"Too painful." Severus grimaced. 

Harry stood up and walked over to his father; "Are you sure you're all right?" 

Severus shook his head, "I'm not all right, Harry, but it's none of your concern at the moment." 

"You aren't sick, are you?" Harry asked, his heart skipping a beat. He had already lost his mother and his would-be father; he didn't want to even conceive of losing the last of his family. 

"No, I'm in perfect health." Severus answered honestly. "I've just had a rough night."   
  
"Why, what happened?" Harry pressed on. 

"Please, Harry. I'm not going to tell you, so please stop asking." 

"But –" Harry paused. "Are you sure? I don't want anything to happen to you; you're the last family I've got." 

"Harry, I assure you, if I were in any immediate danger, you would know." Severus sighed, "Now please, don't argue." 

Harry sat down, shaking his head. "If this has anything to do with me – " 

"Harry, if you must know, it has everything to do with you." 

Harry looked up at Severus, surprised. "What do you mean?" 

Severus shook his head, "Voldemort has start suspecting me once more; he knows I have the ability to kill him if I so choose. He is testing me, putting his own life on the line to make sure I am loyal." 

Harry looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?" 

"I can not tell you, but I assure you, if I am in any immediate danger, I shall tell you." 

"Do they want me?" Harry asked quietly. 

"Once you are fully grown, Voldemort plans on killing Dumbledore and taking you to his side, yes." 

Harry looked up, startled. "What?" 

"You are, as I have said before, powerful. Even the Dark Lord knows this; he wants you on his side, but he knows as long as Dumbledore is still around, you will not be in reach. I am the quickest way to you; he wants me to make sure you follow my footsteps and go with him." 

"But I won't!" Harry exclaimed, "He killed my Mum! He _killed_ her, he ruined my life, why on Earth should I even consider it?" 

Severus shook his head once more, "That is where my powers come in. He wants me to try and control you so you will join him. He is power hungry and will stop at nothing to get it." 

"Aren't there ways around this?" Harry asked quietly. "I don't want him to kill you or Dumbledore." 

Severus shook his head, "I will not let him touch you. Even if you weren't my son, I promised Lily I would protect you. If that means sacrificing my own sanity, then so be it." 

Harry stood up in front of Severus abruptly. "Give it to me." 

"Give what?" Severus asked, confused. 

"If I can control minds… Maybe he won't be able to control mine." 

"Harry… No. It's far too dangerous." said Severus. 

"You _MUST_!" Harry exclaimed, "I do not want to see you hurt, and this is the only way. I can't lose you, I _won't_ lose you. I can handle it; Honestly. Why are you withholding this from me if it means your life?" 

"Because – " Severus faltered for a moment, "Because I see no reason for you to have it yet. It's terrible, Harry. I hear things you wouldn't believe. Right now, I know you're so angry you want to pull out your wand and hex me. You're going through different curses you think might make he do it. I can hear Remus; the full moon was last night. I can hear his cries of pain, even from a hundred miles away. I can hear Sirius and his memories whipping around his head like a bullet; they're the only things he has to hold on to. Even though I haven't heard your mother's voice for sixteen years, I can still hear her last thoughts. It's absolutely torture. 

"In the past twenty years, it has made me consider myself insane multiple times. I hear the dying as they take their last breaths, I hear your grandfather's doubts, even though he will never show them. I hear your nightmares of your mother dying, of Voldemort coming and killing either myself or Dumbledore. I can hear them even when I don't want to, Harry. I don't want you to have to suffer the same as I do." 

He sighed, then continued. "It is not a gift, Harry. It is one of the worst curses imaginable." 

Harry sat silent for a moment. "I am the enemy then. It's my fault you've gone through this all." 

Severus shook his head vigorously. "No, it's not, and don't you ever think that again. It will never be your fault; it never was. I do not want you to suffer the same fate I do, that's all." 

Harry sighed, "I know I could do it." 

Severus paused, "So do I." 

"I know I can…" Harry said quietly. 

Severus scooted over, offering Harry a seat next to him. Harry sat down gratefully, and a moment later, Severus had his hand on Harry's shoulder. 

Almost immediately, Harry heard the voices. He covered his ears with his hands automatically, but he still heard them. They were inside his mind. 

Severus pried his hands away from his ears, making him looking up towards him. "Concentrate on me." 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and formed a picture of Severus in his mind; a moment later, the voices quieted and all he could hear was one solitary voice.__

_ Understand why I didn't want you to have it?_

Harry nodded, "Yes, but thank you." 

_ You're welcome. _Severus touched Harry's shoulder once more and a surge of pain moved through Harry's body. His back went rigid and his knuckles turned white in almost an instant. 

"What – is – this?" Harry managed. Severus took his hand away and lowered his eyes. 

"Exactly what I am feeling right now." 

Harry's eyes widened. "Oh God, I'm sorry… I shouldn't be… God…" 

Severus shook his head, "Understand that I trust you to use it well. However, one wrong move and I can assure you I will take it away from you." 

"Thanks Dad." Harry said quietly.__

_ I like it when you call me that._

Harry smiled, _Well I like calling you that._

"You're welcome, son."   
  



	46. Hermione... Naked?

snape46 I like crackers. Do you like crackers? I like crackers. Bunches o' thought in this one... Sorry about that. Harry has to exersize his new ability, right?   
Aimee   
  


It took Harry nearly a week to get used to his new power; he concentrated on Ron and Hermione mostly, but when Severus refused to tell him something, he shot him a pointed glance and concentrated on him instead. 

He quickly learned how to block out all thoughts completely, else he'd wake up in the middle of the night, one of Ron or Hermione's dreams running through his head. He made the mistake of listening to Severus at night once; his dreams were even more frightening than anything Harry had ever experienced. Lily was in almost all of them, and Harry had been in one he assumed was continues; The day Voldemort killed Lily and James, and Severus' recount of the events. The sky wasn't clear and littered with stars as it had truly been, but instead dark clouds flashing with angry lightening were billowing throughout the vivid green sky, thunder clapping throughout the town. 

Harry had woken up drenched in sweat that night; unable to fall asleep, he listened a bit more as Severus' dreams played through his head. Less than a half hour later, Harry could hear coherent thoughts running through Severus' mind, some of panic, some of frustration, some of anger, but most of fear. Wishing he could see what his father could see, Harry listened intently.__

_ Not again… Why can't they leave me alone? God damn it, make yourself answer him… You can do it… God, why can't you just believe I'm as loyal as I've always been? You've hurt me far too much for this is truly hurt. Such a Muggle way, punching… Oh shit, not the wand… not the wa – AGHH!_

Severus felt such pain that Harry could also feel it running down his spine. It was as intense as the Cruciatus Curse Harry had been subjected to late in his fourth year, but he could feel Severus fighting it. Clamping his hands over his mouth, he stopped himself from yelling aloud in the agony Severus was experiencing. 

Just as soon as it began, the pain ended and Harry could almost feel Severus' relief. 

_ That was all, you bastard? Bring it on… Feel free to leave now, you're not wanted. Voldemort, get the F-CK out of MY home before I blast you to pieces… Believe me, I will. You have no idea, do you? If you question my loyalty so, then why don't you just take away the gift you gave me? Because you're afraid of losing me? Then why not just kill me and get it over with? As long as he's safe, you can do any damn thing you want to me. I can take the physical pain. God, leave already.. Yes… yes… Good. Thank you God, he's gone._

Harry shook his head, checking his watch and seeing it was half past five, right before the sun came up over the horizon. He slowly made his way out of his room and down the hall, knocking as quietly as he could. 

"Come in." Severus answered, his voice slightly muffled. Harry turned the doorknob and opened the door slowly, revealing a tired and sore Severus. 

"Yes?" Severus asked, attempting to prop himself up. After trying twice with no avail, he gave in and leaned back onto his pillows once more. 

"I – I heard you." Harry said quietly. "Talking to Voldemort." 

Severus closed his eyes and groaned, "God." 

Harry stepped forward, "Why don't you just finish him? You said yourself you could kill him if you wanted to." 

Severus shook his head, "It's not that simple, Harry. There are many spells protecting Voldemort, however as he now has your blood flowing through him, it has made him much more vulnerable and human. Even if I was to kill him, there's no telling what would happen; whether or not he would truly die, or did as he succeeded in doing last time – reducing himself to a mere shadow. He was still alive, though. The spell could also bounce back and kill me; I'm sure you wouldn't want that to happen now, would you?" he smiled slightly. 

"No, I wouldn't." Harry agreed. "But why does he still do – this to you?" 

Severus shrugged, "He suspects my loyalty to Dumbledore is much stronger than my loyalty towards him. Even though he is right, Voldemort believes he must have me on a leash so tight no matter how loyal I am, I still will be subjected to this." 

"Has this ever happened before?" Harry asked quietly. Severus nodded. 

"Yes, twenty years ago. Once. Your mother – she came and tried to make me comfortable. Anyway, I'm used to it by now, I'll be fine." 

Harry looked at his father uncertainly while Severus shook his head, a smile on his face. "You look exactly like me when you do that." 

"Really? How about this?" Harry stuck out his tongue and gave himself a pair of finger-glasses _(A/N: You know, when you flip your hands upside down and make your thumb and pointer a circle, then stick 'em up over your eyes? Yeah? No? Ok.)._

Severus grinned, "Your mother… Definitely your mother." 

"Really?" Harry asked once more. 

"No, you still look like me, I just wanted to blame it on Lil." 

Harry grinned and the two were quiet for a moment. "Are you sure you'll be ok?" 

"Just don't wake me up for a good four hours and I'll be fine." Severus said, pulling his blankets over his head. "Now leave!" 

Harry laughed at the muffled sound of his father's mocking tone as he left the room and quickly closed the door behind him. _Good night, Dad.___

_ What do you mean, night? It's almost 6 o'clock in the God damned morning.___

_ True, sorry.___

_ Now stop listening to me, because I have some things I want to think about that I want to keep secret.___

_ Ok. _Harry agreed, still listening.__

_ Harry…_

He sighed, grinning. _Sorry…___

_ Go back to sleep. Concentrate on Ron or something… Get some good blackmail on him. You never know, it could come in handy.___

_ Ok, bye._

A moment later, Harry could hear Severus' thoughts filtering through his mind; _Why can't you just tell him, Severus? You know he wouldn't care… Or would he? He could either accept it or absolutely hate you for the rest of your life…_

Harry sat down on his bed, curious as to what his father had to say.__

_ He wouldn't care… It's the 1990's. It's acceptable now a days… He's going to find out Voldemort's your boyfriend, anyway._

For the second time that morning, Harry had to clamp his hands over his mouth to stop from yelling out. A moment later, he could hear his father's loud laughter ringing down the halls.__

_ What did I tell you, Harry? Stop listening.___

_ But… But -___

_ Now really, is that the only way I can find out if you're listening or not? Pretending to divulge a skeleton from my very filthy, crowded closet? Harry, please. Even if I was gay – which I can assure you, I'm not – Voldemort's far too ugly to even consider._

Harry smiled feebly, _You ever do that to me again and I'll disown you._

_Stop listening and you won't have any reason to disown me.___

_ Fine…_ Harry sighed, concentrating on Ron once more. He shook his head, wincing at the image of Hermione… naked? 

"Ok, wrong friend, bad dream." Harry mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut and picturing Hermione – fully clothed. Her dreams started filtering through his head as he laid down, looking forward to a few good hours of sleep.   



	47. Playing Hero

snape47 I have a new favorite HP genre... Draco/Harry slash. It's pretty damn good, once you get over the initial "Yeah Right". I could never write slash myself, so don't start expecting it out of me... They just have a ton of chemistry, that's all. :o)   
So tell me... How many of you guys were expecting this? Review, please? I intentionally leave it open at the end... I'm not going to post the next chapter until tomorrow (June 12th), so... Review, please?   
Aimee   


Harry was listening each time Voldemort came to his father, whether it was in the dead of the night or well past sunrise. Afraid of transferring his pain to Harry, Severus avoided thinking of him at these times. Instead, he concentrated on Lily with all his might; he didn't care if she was dead, he knew she could hear him somehow. 

Severus wasn't a religious person, by all means. He believed in the facts of true science, not the rubbish most Muggles fed themselves in hopes of finding answers. _(A/N: This is NOT a crack at religion, just how I think Severus would see it as.)_ However, the day Voldemort admitted all, he wished he truly had a God to pray to. 

It came without warning; without expectance. He was in his bed one moment, sleeping as peacefully as his past allowed him to. The next, he was sitting across from Lord Voldemort, his face beaten and bruised. Wondering for a moment how he had managed to sleep through a beating that matched up to the physical pain he felt, the memory of being hit repeatedly can flooding back to him. Unable to resist temptation, he slowly raised his gaze to meet that of his Lord's. 

"Severus, you have deeply disappointed me." Voldemort murmured. "I have recently been informed of your true loyalties, and I am in deep distress." 

Severus was shocked; he knew of no Death Eater that knew of his allegiance with Dumbledore, unless… 

"Forgive me, my Lord. I only thought it best, for Dumbledore to trust me and for Har – " 

_"ENOUGH_!" Voldemort bellowed, "I have heard enough of this to last me a lifetime. I have found a servant more faithful than you, Severus. Despite his blunders, Wormtail has proved himself worthy in informing me of whom I should trust and whom I should not. You, Severus, were under the category of traitor. I myself did not believe this until I saw you were housing Harry Potter – He may not be of Gryffindor descent, but his life took nearly fourteen years off of my own. Explain." 

Severus took in a deep breath, "My Lord. Albus Dumbledore – your sworn enemy – had the knowledge of Harry being my son far earlier than I had known. He wished for me to take care of him. In fear of blowing my cover, I quickly obeyed. To the public, it would look strange indeed if I did not take part of my now proclaimed son's life, especially after he changed his appearance and name to match those of what they would have been, had it not been for James Potter. It was merely a cover up, My Lord." 

Voldemort waited for a moment before he spoke. When he did, his voice came out in a rumble of rage. "I do not believe you." 

Severus' eyes widened as he lifted his wand, muttering "Crucio!". Pain exploded inside of Severus, reaching from his toes to the tip of his ears and everywhere in between. He couldn't speak; however, he could think. 

_ Harry… Get Dumbledore… I need help, he'll know where to find me._

A moment later, a frantic Harry responded; _What's wrong? Where are you? Are you ok?_

_ Don't worry about me right now, just get Dumbledore and HURRY._

_ Yes, Dad._

What seemed like hours later, but was perhaps only minutes in disguise, Severus felt the death grip of the curse release him and he was once again able to breathe properly. 

"Now tell me the truth." 

Severus stood silently, his lips pressed together. He could take the physical pain… he had to. Voldemort waited for a few minutes before renewing the Cruciatus Curse on his once thought faithful servant. This lasted for forever, it seemed, and no matter how much Severus tried to resist, the pain kept on coming. 

He was vaguely aware of two new presence. Assuming they were Death Eaters there to do their master's bidding, he squeezed his eyes shut and refused to react to the immense pain shooting down his spine. Moments later, however, the pain stopped and he could hear clearly now. 

Screams of agony not coming from him… Screams that sounded so familiar… Too familiar… He opened his eyes and nearly screamed himself at the sight in front of him. 

Harry was lying on the floor, twitching and screaming in great pain. Severus looked up at the green light evicting from Voldemort's wand and saw Dumbledore there, wand poised and pointed up at Voldemort. 

"Stop. Now." Dumbledore's usually friendly blue eyes were alive and filled with rage. Before Severus had time to react, a red beam of light shot out from Dumbledore's wand and struck Voldemort in the neck. Slowly but surely, the curse was lifted from Harry's withering body and ended. Almost at once, Harry stood up, shaking like mad but brandishing his wand bravely. 

"Harry…" Severus mumbled weakly. "This is not the time to be playing hero." 

_Dad, I don't care… the bastard killed my Mum… I'm going to kill him…_

_ Harry, leave Voldemort up to Dumbledore… You'll never be able to survive._

_ Why can't you trust me, just this once?_

_ Because you're my son and I'd rather die than see you hurt._

_ Dad, please, trust me._

_ HARRY, NO! You will not… Please, I beg of you… Do not._

Harry didn't get a chance to respond, however. Voldemort had regained control of his actions and quickly turned to father and son, both of whom were pale and shaken. Before either had time to react, he raised his wand and screamed those fatal words: 

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" 

A burst of neon green light shot out of his wand and hit his target with such force it threw both parties backwards. It was instant; he was gone before either of the two left had any time to react. 

With numb shock, the two left looked at each other with horror sketched across both of their faces. 

In less than a moment, he was dead.   



	48. Creation Of The Best

snape48 Hey guys, good news... Most of you (all of you?) seem to think Dumbledore's dead... but Dumbie ain't dead. Couldn't figure out a way to kill him off... Sorry. But think of a character, either Harry or Severus... Whoever you think died. Got it? Now keep on thinking about that character and read on...   
Aimee   


It all happened so fast… No one could have known it was coming. Dumbledore insisted I didn't blame myself, but what other choice do I have? I lost him. I know I could have protected him some how…I just know it. 

I had less than a year to truly get to know him, but what I knew of him was a gift beyond anything I had ever received. For the past year I have loved him even though I never got the chance to tell him. It is my worst regret; I never got to tell him how much I cared. 

Dumbledore had destroyed Lord Voldemort immediately after he had killed him. I had an unspeakable amount of rage surge through me then; it was unexplainable, and it's still there. The fury that boiled inside of me was so intense that I had started to beat Voldemort's dead body lying on the ground next to his. Dumbledore had to tear me away from him, in fear of the body not being recognizable enough to present to the Ministry of Magic. What did I care? All that mattered to me was he was dead, and the second body lying on the ground had killed him. 

The next three days were a blur of crying, visitors every waking hour, and funeral arrangements. Dumbledore rarely left my side, perhaps fearing I would swallow a vile of poison and just get it over with. During the past three days, the thought has played with me more often than not. He was dead, I no longer had anything to live for. It was bad enough when… but this… God, I couldn't even think straight. 

Thinking. God, even thinking hurt. It reminded me too much of him. I heard him… We were talking right be died. God, I heard him…. 

He died a hero's death. He was much, much more than a hero though... So much more. There was so much inside of his mind very few people ever got the chance to see. 

He died far too young and far too soon. It wasn't his time yet… it couldn't have been. He was too young… He wouldn't have been proud of the way he died, either. He would have at least wanted a duel. But no, the bastard couldn't even have the decency to provide him with the knowledge that he could have at least stood a chance. 

Of all those conversations we had, none stood out in my mind, but I could remember each word he spoke to me. Each and every sentence, phrase, word, syllable, everything. 

God, I don't even think anyone could begin to conceive of the maddening grief, the sorrow, the guilt, the unhappiness I felt. It only takes a moment to start to love someone, especially family, and God did I love him… 

That day was the hardest of my life. Once the news got out, I had a constant stream of visitors, all of whom tried to comfort me. I never allowed them to touch me though. The could never understand, how could they? It was impossible… Absolutely impossible… 

I didn't know what to do with myself. What was there? Grieve? Cry, perhaps? I had done enough of that already. Three days after he was killed, I was to attend his funeral. How was I supposed to do that? Even hearing his name made me break down to the point of tears until I knew I couldn't cry any more. There were no tears left to cry, but somehow I managed. I had never cried this much in my life; why now? I felt as if a part of me had died. He was a part of me, in a way. 

Walking into the church where his coffin lay, up in the front near Dumbledore, was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. It was amazing how much one year with him could change us. 

I took a seat near the front, as I was supposed to deliver the Eulogy. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it, but I know he would have wanted me to try. Rage, guilt, and sadness all flowed through my veins as I saw many people come up to me and offer me their pity. I didn't need their pity; I just needed him back. 

It was if a wall of steal had been set between my heart and the outside world. I couldn't feel anything – I made sure of that. Feeling was torture; knowing I could have saved him kills me each night, as I lay in my bed, tossing and turning. They all insisted it wasn't my fault, but why should I listen to them? They had never done anything for me. He was my everything; throughout the torments of my life, he was all I had left. 

I looked down at a photo of him, my eyes quickly becoming blurred once again. They were all I had left; photos and memories. I was numb as Remus sat next to me, accompanied by Sirius in his dog form. I nodded towards them with such coldness I felt as if I had broken the friendship between us forever. However, Remus touched my shoulder with such sincerity that I quickly knew they understood what I was going through, or so they thought. Just as I had, they lost a dear member of their lives not only once, but three times now. They were all the same people; James, Lily, and him. It just wasn't the same… It just wasn't the same at all. 

With trembling hands, I reviewed the piece of parchment in front of me, mouthing the words as quickly as I could. I didn't bother pushing the long black hair out of my eyes; the tears were enough to distract my vision. I waited as Dumbledore started speaking of his life; the good points and the bad. It was as if time had stopped; Each word slowly formed on his lips and was spoken with such grief I nearly bolted. However, as he finished, I slowly went up there and took my place in front of the church – his friends, his acquaintances, the students and staff of Hogwarts... Everyone. 

God, I wished he was here with me. He was my strength; my support through everything I went through. The world had lost one of the greatest wizards I had ever known. 

"It seems like only yesterday I was seeing him for the first time as the person he is… was… would have been… today. I remember locking eyes with him and immediately despising him, only because of the way he looked. Perhaps there was more, but at the time I couldn't locate it. 

"Throughout the first five years I knew him, I thought he was an arrogant, self-centered twit. Many people disagreed with me, and I see now how wrong I was to be so quick to judge. 

"He was a great person, both on the inside and out. We all have our flaws; his was from events that occurred that he couldn't control, but burdened him for the rest of his life. People either loved him or loathed him; I loathed him. If I had one wish, it would be to turn back time and get to know him better, as a person, not as the devil I first believed he was." 

I breathed in deeply, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "He was an amazing person, whether you truly knew him or not. For me, once I started to know the wizard underneath the skin, I was amazed at how he acted, who he was. He was amazing. He had the kind of aura around him very few people have, but everyone feels. 

"I've only had the chance to truly know and understand him for the past year, but God what a year it's been. So many changes in so little time… But God, was I glad it happened. 

"Headmaster Albus Dumbledore knew the truth about us for fifteen years; he knew we were father and son. I was terrified when I found out, but I was eager to get to know him. He was equally as excited and eager, and it showed. From that moment on, I never went back to loathing him; I had no reason to now. He was everything to me, he was the reason I woke up in the morning, I had no idea how I had survived all those years without him. To me, it seemed almost impossible. 

"We both underwent changes that year; physically and emotionally. We were no longer empty, we had each other to go to during the hard times. We were each other's support system, even though neither of us would admit it. 

"I never got a chance to tell him how grateful I was for him to accept me, how grateful I was that he didn't push me aside and cringe at the thought of us being related. I never got a chance to tell him how much I admired him… How much I loved him. The emotions I felt for him were far too confusing for me to understand at first, but as I slowly became accustomed to him, I learned how to distinguish these emotions. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if there really is a heaven… and God I hope there is… then on August 8th, 1997, my father met the love of his love for the first time in nearly sixteen years. Severus and Lily Snape created me, and to this day I can not thank them both enough. For years I thought I was an orphan, but when he came along… God, he was the best father I could have ever asked for. I know he would be wondering what all the fuss was about, why everyone was crying for him and missing him, but he refused to see how much people really did care." 

I turned towards his casket, looking at the cold, hard shell of the man who gave me life. Breathing in deeply, I touched his face gently, smoothing the stray hairs away from his closed eyes. 

"I love you, Dad."   
  
  
  


_ I will remember you_   
_ Will you remember me?_   
_ Don't let your life pass you by_   
_ Weep not for the memories_   
_ Remember the good times that we had?_   
_ I let them slip away from us when things got bad_   
_ How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun_   
_ Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one_

_I will remember you_   
_ Will you remember me?_   
_ Don't let your life pass you by_   
_ Weep not for the memories_   
_ I'm so tired but I can't sleep_

_Standin' on the edge of something much too deep_   
_ It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word_   
_ ** We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard**_

_But I will remember you_   
_ Will you remember me?_   
_ Don't let your life pass you by_   
_ Weep not for the memories_

_I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose_   
_ Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_   
_ Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night_   
**_ You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life_**

_And I will remember you_   
_ Will you remember me?_   
_ Don't let your life pass you by_   
_ Weep not for the memories_   
_ And I will remember you_   
_ Will you remember me?_   
_ Don't let your life pass you by_   
_ Weep not for the memories_   
_ Weep not for the memories*_

_*once again, Sarah McLachlan, I Will Remember You_   


  


A/N: Ok guys... I have to say something. Harry had a year to get to know Severus; he also knew about his past and how he acted around Lily. Based on what Harry knew of him and how I chose to portray Severus, this is all the good stuff about Severs. We all know he's really an evil git, but who knows how he was in the past? In the books, we only have Harry's perspective of him. Therefore, how could anyone make a true judgement of him? There has to be a reason Dumbledore trusts him.. And deep down inside, I think he really does have Harry's best interests at heart. Don't believe me? Read the books over again. Think of Snape as I portrayed him. It works.   
I don't want any "THIS SUCKS!" or "I hate you.". In the next chapter, fine, I don't care. But I don't want to have to get yelled at constantly... In my story, this is how Severus really was. Harry got to see his past, remember? He knew how he acted when Lily was alive, and in Harry's mind, that's who he truly was. 


	49. The Last Battle

snape49 Ahh, the last and shortest chapter... How many people want to kill me right now? You? And you? How about you? No? Well, at least someone's on my side... This is the LAST CHAPTER of the FIRST PART. Not the story... I'm probably gonna take a break for a few days to figure out what I'm going to do with the second ending (assuming you guys still want one), but who knows? I might have three chapters done by tonight... Review (please?) with your responses.   
Aimee 

_ I was surrounded… Surrounded by light, by clouds, by haze. I tried to move but soon realized I was paralyzed. My mind slowly cleared as I came to, and I saw a pair of green eyes starring at me. My last memory came flooding back to me as I accepted the hand the green-eyed woman offered me._

_ I had been talking to my son – our son – when Voldemort had turned on me. After that, I remember nothing but fog and haze, no pain._

_ I smile up at her, standing up and taking her in my arms. How long has it been? Fifteen, sixteen years? It used to be I could tell you down to the month, the week, the day, the hour, the minute, the second… It doesn't matter anymore._

_ She was here. I prayed this wasn't a dream. I was dead, I knew it, but I never imagined an afterlife as sweet as this. We never needed words; she was with me again and that's all I needed._

_ "Lily…" I breathed, kissing my wife on the forehead. I was seventeen again, like I was before everything happened… During the happiest times of my life._

_ "What took you so long?" she smiled. Her smile could always light up a thousand rooms and I could never resist it._

_ "I had to take care of Harry." I smiled back, kissing her softly._

_ "How is he?" Lily asked, wrapping her arms around me in the foggy mist._

_ "Alive and well… He looks like me."_

_ Lily smiled, resting her head on my shoulder. "I missed you."_

_ "It took us fifteen years, Lily… but I finally found out… why didn't you tell me?"_

_ "Because I didn't want to cause you any more pain. I knew Papa would tell you when the time was right… He did, didn't he?"_

_ "Yes baby, he did." I sighed, breathing in her scent._

_ "I've been waiting for you." Lily said, looking up at me._

_ "You were, were you?" I smiled, kissing her nose. "Do you think we could wait for Harry?"_

_ Lily nodded, "That's what we're doing right now."_

_ "What if it takes forever?" I asked._

_ "It won't, I promise. No one can live forever."_

I couldn't control myself. I couldn't handle it… Everything was a blur. I had terrible nightmares, each of him dying over and over again inside my head. I missed him so unbelievably much, I couldn't stand it. 

I looked at the sleeping figure next to me. I never really loved her like that… How could I? She was my best friend, she was only trying to comfort me when things got out of hand. We're both 17, it wasn't illegal… To me, it only made the pain ten times greater, knowing what I was about to do. I kissed her forehead softly, saying my last goodbyes. I had already sent a note with Hedwig to Dumbledore, he would know by sunrise… By then it would be too late. 

I tipped the glass vile up towards my lips, shuddering slightly at the icy feeling that was slowly sliding down my throat, freezing my insides. I dropped the vile with a shatter and collapsed next to Hermione's sleeping form.   


_ It saw him coming… it was far too soon, it had only been a few minutes. Why now? I looked at Lily with questionable eyes and she just shrugged. I led her to our son, whose long black hair was falling into his eyes._

_ "Harry…" I let go of Lily and hugged him. I heard his tears as he squeezed me so tightly, if I had been alive it would have caused me terrible pain. I tried to silence him, but eventually motioned for Lily to come and help me._

_ She touched his shoulder lightly, smiling as he looked up at her seventeen year old form. He immediately wiped his eyes and smiled, giving her a hug much softer than the one I had received._

_ "Mum… I missed you."_

_ Lily smiled and closed her hand around mine. "I missed you too… you're so handsome, just like your father."_

_ Harry smiled, then looked up at me. "I'm sorry."_

_ I looked at his quizzically, "For what?"_

_ "I let you down." He said quietly._

_ I shook my head. "Impossible."_

_ He looked up at me, tears threatening to spill once more. "I love you, Dad."_

_ My worry suddenly faded into a smile, and all was well. "I love you too, Son."_

_ "And I love you both! Now, can we please go home?" Lily asked, tugging my hand towards a light I had not seen earlier._

_ "Yes, love." I smiled over at my son and wife, "Let's go home."_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**If tomorrow is judgement day**   
**And I'm standin' on the front line**   
**And the Lord ask me what I did w/ my life**   
**I will say I spent it withyou**

**If I wake up in World War Three**   
**I see destruction and poverty**   
**And I feel like I want to go home**   
**It's okay if youcommin' with me**

**Cause your love is my love**   
**and my love is your love**   
**It would take an eternity to break us**   
**And the chains of Amistad couln't hold us**

**If I lose my fame and fortune**   
**And I'm homeless on the street**   
**And I'm sleepin' in Grand Central Station**   
**It's okay if you're sleepin' with me**

**As the years they pass us by**   
**we stay young through eachother's eyes**   
**And no matter how old we get**   
**It's okay as long as I got you babe**

**Cause your love is my love**   
**and my love is your love**   
**It would take an eternity to break us**   
**And the chains of Amistad couln't hold us**

**If I should die this very day**   
**Don't cry, cause on earth we wasn't meant to stay**   
**And no matter what people day**   
**I'll be waiting for you after judgement day**

**Cause your love is my love**   
**and my love is your love**   
**It would take an eternity to break us**   
**And the chains of Amistad couln't hold us**

***Whitney Houston, My Love Is Your Love - (my favorite song)**

A/N: Once again, would you rather have Harry tormenting himself for the rest of his life or join his family? I know it's a pissy ending, but I know if my Dad ever died before I was out and on my own (my mother died five years ago), I'd kill myself, no questions asked. Harry didn't die a virgin though... That's always a good thing, right? 

Kidding.   



	50. It Ain't Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

snape50 The first part of this should look familiar... This ending shows just how much one choice can change their entire lives. Guys... *sniff* I'm sad. I take a nap, wake up, and my Inbox is full of hate letters... *sniff* I'm sorry! I swear, you'll like this ending a ton better than the other one, ok? This is precisely why there's two of them... Man, I don't like getting yelled at that much. I thought you guys hated Sevie? Would you rather of had Harry in constant distress and sorrow for the rest of his life, or have him with his family? Yeah, I thought so... *sniff*. Also, if you've never been to a funeral, you've got to understand... The loved ones of the deceased refuse to say anything bad about their dead loved one. Besides, Harry had a year to get to know Sev. A year that definitely wasn't written in detail... Sev was nice! Remember? With Lily? Yeah? Ok... Sorry for the long author's note, I'm just feeling incredibly hated right now.   
Aimee   


It was happening tonight; Severus had to warn her. He had tried to contact her multiple times, but she refused to listen to him. He sensed James had hurt her, as he was experiencing mental pain to its greatest. 

Voldemort had enlisted him as one of the Death Eaters to help him destroy the Potters. He would help him with James, of course, but he had to warn Lily to get out of there. Knowing she wouldn't leave without Harry, he had to get to her and fast. 

It was set for early evening; Peter Pettigrew was also coming along with their Lord. Voldemort had yet to explain his precise meaning for this; Severus had seen many wizards greater than the Potters be spared. Confronting Voldemort about it was one of the hardest things he had to do, knowing at any moment Voldemort might sense his weakness and kill him. 

"My Lord, please explain to your most humble servant why the Potters must die." He was kneeling before Voldemort in his private chambers, away from the other Death Eaters. 

"Snape. I am perfectly aware of the way you felt about Lily Potter. However, the Potter line comes from one of my ancestor's greatest enemy: Godric Gryffindor. Although they are not direct descendants, it has been my goal throughout the years to beseech upon his heirs the fury and violence Salazar Slytherin felt as he left Hogwarts School. The Bones were directly related to Gryffindor; the Potters are only partially. Once they fall, my mission will be complete." 

Severus nodded slightly, feeling faint. "My Lord, promise me you shall not harm Lily. She is important to both Albus Dumbledore and myself, and could possibly become an asset if I could persuade her to join our side. She is easily molded and manipulated, my Lord. She could be great." 

Voldemort laughed and a chill ran through Severus' spine. "I shall promise you I will not hurt anyone but the Potters tonight. My mission is to rid the world of James and Harry Potter, both of whom share Godric's blood. Lily, if she is in the way, will not be spared once more. You two have had your chances; Make sure she is gone, or else she will be dead as well." 

"Spare those without Gryffindor blood, please Master." Severus pleaded. 

"Fine, unless she is in my way. That is my final promise, Severus." 

Feeling defeated, Severus sighed. "Thank you Master. Your mercy shall not be forgotten."   
  


As dusk drew nearer, Severus tried his hardest to contact Lily. He was required to go with Voldemort, but was only to stand guard to ward off anybody wishing to help the Potters. He prayed Lily would find it in her self to hand over Harry, however he knew it was the last thing she would do. 

He owled Dumbledore quickly, before the mission was to take place, warning him of Voldemort's plans. Hoping he would get there before Lily was harmed, he silently Apparated to Godric's Hollow, where the other Death Eaters had appeared. Moments later, Voldemort showed up, brandishing a crooked smile. 

"It is time, my Brothers. After this, my mission shall be complete." The door of the cottage burst open. Severus saw James standing before them, holding out his wand.__

_ Severus… Severus… God… Help me…___

_ Leave the child, Lily… Leave him… He will spare you.___

_ I can't leave Harry.. Severus, you don't understand-_

Severus watched as a jet of green light hit James and he watched as his body dropped to the ground. Instead of feeling satisfied, he felt an intense urge to rush over to the body and try to help James, even though he knew it was impossible. 

Voldemort moved throughout the house; Lily's screams of terror and cries for help filled Severus' head.__

_ Lily, LEAVE HARRY. It's important… You must get away.___

_ I can't leave him… God, help me… Please… Help…___

_ Baby, you know I can't. Please, leave Harry… I'm pleading with you here, please._

"OH GOD!" he heard her screams from inside the house. Looking up, he saw Voldemort corner her in front of a window. A flash of golden light left her wand and went into what looked like a baby's crib.__

_ He's safe, Harry's safe, you protected him… Now leave, Voldemort will kill you. Please Lily, I love you.___

_ Severus… James is dead… I love you… God, I hope this worked… Harry… I love you… God…_

A moment later, Lily appeared in front of him, her eyes wide and her pale body shaking slightly. Severus ran to her and wrapped his arms around her, shielding her face from the window. They could hear Voldemort laughing as a jet of green light blasted out of the end of his wand. However, the laughing soon ceased with a puff of orange smoke, and Lily looked up at Severus, wide-eyed.   
  
Peter got a look of horror on his face and quickly Apparated away. The other Death Eaters followed suit; Lily and Severus remained, however. 

Severus quickly Apparated up towards Harry's room, where the baby was lying in his crib, crying his eyes out.__

_ Lily, it's safe._

A moment later, she appeared and ran to Harry's crib to comfort the baby. Severus wrapped his arms around her shoulders once more, shaking as hard as he ever had. 

"Are you ok?" he asked. 

"James is dead." She said quietly. "Voldemort… What happened?" 

"I'm not sure… What spell did you perform on Harry?" Severus asked, touching the baby's forehead lightly. 

"A shielding charm." Lily said quietly. "It must have worked." 

Severus thought for a moment, "Shielding charms tend to rebound the spell… Depending on how strong the spell was… God, Lil. I think you just killed Voldemort."   



	51. Twins And A Million What?

snape51 After 81 pages in Microsoft Word in font size 10 Times New Roman, the second ending is here... Wow. In less than a month, I've outdone myself. My longest story before this one was 74 pages, 10 Times, and it took me nearly a year to write... You guys better love me. :o)   
I'll make this one happier... I promise.   
Aimee   


The three of them – Severus, Lily, and Harry – were intercepted by Dumbledore before they could make it back to the Snape mansion. He took one look at Lily and insisted they went directly to Hogwarts, in fear of running into Severus' father. 

Lily and Severus both held on to Harry as they Apparated to the Hogwarts gates, where Hagrid, the gamekeeper, was waiting to meet them. He instructed them to go up to their old room, where Dumbledore had set up a crib for Harry. They gradually made their way there, being stopped by the occasional staff member who was much too concerned for them. 

The moment they closed the portrait hole leading into Lily's old room, she gave Harry to Severus and collapsed onto the large four poster bed, now black. Severus looked down at the baby, and seeing his was now fast asleep, set him in the crib provided by Dumbledore. He laid down next to Lily, taking her in his arms and pulling her as close as possible. 

"How come it feels like it's been forever?" he sighed, closing his eyes. 

"I don't know…" Lily said quietly. "Severus, I have something to tell you." 

"Yes?" he asked, looking down at her. 

"I… Dumbledore told me who Harry's father was before James and I went into hiding." Lily admitted. "Do you want to know?" 

Severus thought for a moment, then nodded. "I promised you that even if he wasn't my child, I'd still love him as if he was. I intend to keep my promise." 

Lily nodded, then breathed in deeply and her grip on Severus tightened. "He's James' son. I'm sorry. Sev." 

Severus shook his head, "It's not your fault. He's still our son, regardless of blood lines." 

"Are you sure?" Lily asked quietly. 

"Baby… Shh… I love you, nothing's ever going to change that. You love Harry, he's your son. Therefore, it's impossible for me to even remotely hate him. James… I'm sorry Lil, but you know I hated him. Even though Harry's his child, he still has you as his mother." 

Lily reached over and kissed Severus on the cheek. "You're going to be a great father." 

"One day." Severus said, "Aren't we going to have a million babies running around? Harry's going to have a thousand siblings to put up with, you know." 

Lily smiled and Severus noticed her skin was slowly regaining colour. "I want at least one set of twins." 

"Twins, love? Are you sure we could handle twin infants?" Severus asked, pulling the blanket over them. 

"I'm sure." Lily said defiantly. "And we have to have a little girl, too…" 

"Two or three little girls." Severus corrected. "One's just never enough." 

"And a son… you have to have a male heir." Lily said softly. Severus shook his head. 

"I want a son, Lil, but not for an heir… For a playmate to Harry." He smiled, running his fingers through her hair. 

Lily smiled and sighed, closing her eyes. "You're amazing." 

"So I've heard." Severus laughed lightly. "Now go to sleep, baby. You're tired." 

"Ok…" Lily sighed once more, cuddling up to her husband. "I love you." 

"I love you too, baby. Now sleep."   
  


The news of Voldemort's defeat spread quickly throughout the wizarding world. Lily, Severus, and especially were Harry were instant celebrities among the population, much to their dismay. All they wanted to do was start their life together, but instead they had reporter after reporter knocking on the Hogwarts gates day and night. Word got to Severus that in his Master's defeat, his father had fled the country. Severus and Lily were free to move in to the Snape mansion with Harry. Their marriage was publicly known now; Dumbledore made sure to continually confirm it was legal. A plan to have a true wedding was quickly dismissed, as both Lily and Severus were content with their small wedding three years ago. 

Severus got along with Harry as well as Lily had expected; he was constantly playing with him, delighted to have someone to take care of, regardless of parentage. He took responsibility for Harry at times when even Lily was too tired to deal with the toddler. He was the perfect father; he needed to prove to Lily he could do it, that he could take care of a baby no matter what the circumstances. 

Lily was still emotionally scarred from that night. Leaving Harry alone with Voldemort seemed to up her anxiousness, especially when it came to leaving Harry alone at night. Many nights, Lily was too afraid to leave her son, so Severus transferred his crib to the master bedroom, moving it as close to Lily's side of the bed as possible. 

She always had nightmares; Severus considered making her a potion, but he knew she'd refuse to take it. She insisted the nightmares were for the best; they made her relive her experiences so she could accept what happened. She visited Dumbledore constantly, asking for advice and just to speak. She had a new way about her; she was paranoid one of the Death Eaters would try to revenge his Master's death and try to kill a member of her family. Severus made sure it was impossible for anyone to get onto the mansion's grounds; he heavily hexed different areas around the gate, making sure only a member of the household could get through the gates unless otherwise invited in. Only he and Lily had the ability to Apparate to and from the house. 

They had few servants; three house elves and a butler, all of whom were originally employees of Severus' father and refused to leave. Lily insisted they do minimal amounts of work and even offered to pay them; however, the butler insisted room and board was enough while the house elves flat out refused, looking scandalized at the mere mention of wages.   



	52. Meet The Family

snape52 Ok,... Tons of explaining going on in this chapter... Just remember, HEKDDS. It'll help, I promise.   
Aimee   


As we had promised each other, within two years we had two beautiful children; Ethan Alexandar, who lived up to his name as Strong Protector, and Khalida Dante, the daughter I wanted and named Everlasting. p>Ethan was an exact duplicate of myself; tall, straight black hair and cold black eyes. He was incredibly strong willed, showing it at the age of two. He and Harry didn't get along at all; perhaps it was Harry's fault, not being able to deal with a younger brother, perhaps it was Ethan's fault, being too much like myself to accept a brother. He often climbed into my lap and begged me to get rid of Harry, until his little sister was born. 

Khalida was a gorgeous child; red hair like her mothers and black eyes, she was a beauty who knew it. She was a know-it-all from the start, always bossing her older brothers around. They didn't take well to her at first, but after a while she was accepted as one of them. 

Lily was ecstatic to find she was pregnant with Ethan; we had been trying for a child for many months since she was determined to have as many children as she could. She almost abandoned Harry when Ethan was born; perhaps that was a factor in his and Ethan's relationship. I took responsibility for Harry once more, trying to explain to him Ethan needed the attention with Lily. How could you explain to a three year old child that someone else needed his mother just as much or more than himself? It was impossible.   
  
Lily and I debated on whether or not to allow Harry to call me Father. It was decided that when he was old enough to handle the truth, we would tell him of his true origins. Before that, no one was allowed to breathe a single word of James in the Snape mansion. 

Khalida, soon dubbed Kaylee, was born second, a little more than a year after Ethan. She had quite a temper, always throwing fits, but she got along with Harry in the beginning, despite Ethan's best efforts to try and thwart their relationship. Ethan felt as if he was always overlooked when it came to Harry. Perhaps he was right; although Ethan favored me over Lily, I had always favored Harry over my other sons. It was almost as if I felt I needed to fill the void James had left; as if I needed to prove to him more than my other children how good of a father I was. 

We had our sons and daughter and weren't planning on any more. Dea Edan was a surprise; no one expected her. She was a year younger than Kaylee, and much like Ethan was an exact duplicate of me, Dea was an exact duplicate of Lily. Auburn hair and vivid green eyes, she quickly attached herself to Kaylee. She was named Dea Edan, Goddess of Fire, for her hair, which was bright red when she was born. She was a homemaker from the beginning; she always begged Lily to show her how to cook – the Muggle way – and was always doing something with her hands. She was truly a Snape, however, as she was quick to judge anyone that walked into her life. 

Drake Aidan, Fiery Dragon, was planned two years after the birth of Dea. Once again, he was the male counterpart to Lily; red hair and green eyes. He was much like his mother personality wise, also - eager to learn and incredibly friendly. Ethan tried hard to fill the Older Brother spot in Drake's life, but Harry was the one to catch Drake's attention. Drake admired Harry as much or more than he admired his great-great-great-great-grandfather, Dumbledore, who came by often to see how his grandchildren were doing. 

We acquired three more house elves that winter, four for the care of each individual child and three for taking care of the manor. I was teaching Harry magic, unbeknownst to Lily, by the age of seven. He could move simple things and transfigure simple objects before I allowed him to ride a broomstick. He took to Quidditch naturally; a trait he had received from James. I myself was not a huge fan of Quidditch, but I bared it for the sake of Harry's enjoyment. 

Our youngest child, a girl, was born Christmas Day, 1988. I gave her the first name of Star, Lily gave her the middle name of Dakota. She had green eyes and black hair, much to Harry's delight. She was a dear; always offering a smile and a hug to her older siblings, always walking around with a teddy bear dangling from her arms. She was a tiny ray of light in our dysfunctional family – everyone loved her. I called her Baby even when she insisted I called her Star. We each had our different nicknames for her, but I always liked to think she loved mine the best.   
  


The year Harry entered Hogwarts – 1991 – I was offered the job of Potions Master. Lily encouraged me to take it, saying it would make her feel a lot better knowing I was there to look after Harry while he was in school. Leaving our children behind would be hard, I knew it would be. However, I agreed, in spite of the fact Star was only three. 

"Do you realize how much I'm going to miss you?" I asked Lily the night before Harry and I departed. She merely grinned and kissed me. 

"Yes, I do. And I promise you, I'll be missing you twice as much." 

"Impossible." I kissed her back, leaning over her. "There is no end to infinity, therefore it's impossible to double it." 

She laughed, touching my nose with her forefinger. "Ok, you win." 

I kissed her softly, twirling her soft hair in my fingers. "Your Papa will be there to look after Harry, baby." 

"Ahh, yes, but you said so yourself that you wished to become a professor some day." Lily pointed out, slowly unbuttoning the top of my pajamas. "I'm just helping you realize what you're missing." 

"You mean you?" I taunted, kissing her once more. "This is going to be impossible, Lil." 

She thought for a moment, "Tell you what. I'll come down there every once in a while. I'm sure Mum and Dad would be happy to take care of the kids, and I'm sure Papa will supply you with a bed big enough for two. Even if he doesn't… I'm sure we could manage." 

I laughed, "Quite the needy one tonight, aren't you?" 

"For you?" she kissed me, "Always." 

We had six children in the house, but somehow managed to have the same kind of relationship we had thirteen years prior, during our stay at Hogwarts. We took full advantage of every moment alone, and our children had learned long ago how to entertain themselves. 

"I wished you could come with me." I breathed. 

"But I am." Lily kissed me once more, "I'm just not going to always be there." 

"I love you, Lil." 

"I love you too, Sev, and don't you ever forget that."   



	53. Red, Brown, Black, and Blonde

snape53 New chapter... aren't I nice? Yeah, I thought so. :o) Kidding. Enjoy.   
Aimee   


Harry was incredibly anxious to get to Kings Cross the next morning, waking Lily and I up before seven. I made Lily go back to sleep, but I forced myself to get up and follow Harry into the kitchen. 

"What do you want?" I asked, standing in front of the child. He was short for his age, Ethan was an inch taller than him. 

"Cereal." He said in a matter-of-fact voice, cocking his head and looking up at me. "You look tired." 

I nodded wearily, "No thanks to you, buddy." 

Harry grinned and grabbed a bowl from one of the wooden cupboards. I carefully took it from him and instructed him to get the milk instead. Lily insisted on having a Muggle-style kitchen, which included many appliances I had never seen before. There were no electrical plugs in the Snape mansion, therefore she charmed each to work on it's own, making herself a "charming" Muggle kitchen. (A/N: I know, I know. Bad pun, sorry.) 

After our breakfast, I kissed Lily goodbye and made my rounds to each of the children's rooms. Ethan was happy for Harry to be leaving, but slightly forlorn about being the Man of the House. Kaylee didn't care either way; she insisted she would miss me, but along with Ethan, was glad Harry was leaving. Dea always favoured Lily, so my leaving wasn't as big a deal as she wanted it to be. She always followed Kaylee but was more or less against Harry leaving. Drake sobbed on my shoulder for a full five minutes before I could pry him off of me and move on to Dakota, who was too young to truly know what was happening. 

Harry had always been the outsider; Lily and I treated him differently than the other children. Not by choice, but by default. He still didn't know about James, but somehow sensed he was different. He was ecstatic when Dakota grew up to look just like him, with green eyes and black hair. 

Harry was incredibly giddy as I dropped him off at Platform 9 ¾. He insisted I meet him at the Hogsmeade Train Start after I got my affairs in order up at the castle. 

My old Potions Master, Professor Barns, had tried the year previous. I was to take his place as both Potions Master and the Head of the Slytherin House. Harry wanted to be in Slytherin because of that fact, but I insisted he didn't ask the Sorting Hat to place him there and enjoy the House he was put in. 

Lily had been in Gryffindor along with James, but Harry had been raised with a name that was notoriously Slytherin. Lily would be slightly taken back if he was put into Slytherin, but we both knew it was a possibility. 

I Apparated to the castle and quickly bid Dumbledore hello before I retreated to the room I had been assigned; I smirked, walking through the all too familiar portrait hole. I had to admit, Dumbledore still had a sense of humor. 

The crib was gone, along with the door leading into the Slytherin dorm room, but the black tapestries were hanging on the bed just as they had ten years prior. A large desk was pushed into a corner, next to a wooden bureau. I set my stuff down and smiled, reliving the memories of the room I was standing in. Overall, it made sense, since it was the closest to the Slytherin tower, but I still chuckled at the memories. 

I checked the state of my office and classroom, cringing at the smell. Making a mental note to ask Filch, the caretaker, to clean them, I went back up to the Great Hall where many of the teachers were conversing. I made my way over to a group that included Professor McGonagall, not noticing the short man standing to her right. 

"Severus?" I whirled around at the sound of my name being spoken to find the one person whom I least expected standing next to McGonagall. 

"Remus? Remus Lupin?" I asked incredulously. 

"Severus? Severus Snape?" Remus mocked, a smile on his face. "How have you been?" 

I reached over to shake his hand, "Just great, just great… How about you?" 

He had been the one person to show me a shred of kindness when Lily married James; he was also one of the only people who knew about it at first. He had often visited Lily before Kaylee was born, but he had just stopped visiting with no warning. 

"Never been better… I've been teaching here for a year now, Defense Against the Dark Arts." He said, glancing around the room. "I'm assuming you're taking Professor Barns' place?" 

I nodded, "Yes, I am, much to Lily's delight. She wanted me to take the job so I could keep an eye on Harry." 

Remus looked mildly surprised, "Harry's starting his first year here, isn't he? Wow, he's grown up so fast… How is he? Does he know about James yet?" 

I shook my head, "No, he doesn't know about James yet. I was planning on telling him before we left for Hogwarts, but things didn't go as planned. He's doing really well; he knows a bit of magic and is a natural on a broomstick, it's amazing." 

Remus laughed, "I guess James had a few good qualities about him after all, eh?" 

I smirked, "No offense to you, Remus, but his best quality as of now is that he's dead." 

Remus nodded, "No life is worth losing, no matter how terrible he was. However… yes, I do agree with you somewhat. Just don't mention that to Sirius." 

I looked up at him with surprise, "Sirius? Sirius Black? He's here?" 

Remus nodded, "Although the subject he's teaching shouldn't surprise you." 

I looked around the room, trying to find him. "Just the fact that he's a teacher surprises me, Remus." 

"Care of Magical Creatures." Remus admitted, "He's out by the Lake." 

"Care of Magical Creatures? Yes, that definitely sounds like Black." I sighed, "He doesn't hate me, does he?" 

Remus shrugged, "He's not exactly happy with Lily for her not – grieving over James properly." 

"There was nothing to grieve about." I said, checking my watch. "Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to meet Harry at Hogsmeade." 

"May I come with you?" Remus asked, "I haven't seen him in such a long time." 

I nodded, "I'm pretty sure he remembers you." 

"Really?" Remus asked, amazed. "I wouldn't have thought…"   
  
"To be perfectly honest, I also would have." I said. Nearly a half hour later, we were standing in front of the Hogwarts Express, watching students pour out of the doors. I finally spotted Harry and waved him over, watching his reaction to Remus. They were both grinning, and Remus pulled Harry into a hug. Moments later, the gamekeeper, Hagrid, called the first years over, so Harry went trotting after his new friends; a red head boy, a sandy haired boy, and a brunette girl shorter than even Harry. Before I got a chance to say anything to Remus, I caught a glimpse of a boy with hair too light to be called blonde; Lucius Malfoy's son. 

Remus and I returned to the castle faster than the other students and quickly took our place among the teachers. Dumbledore insisted I sit next to him and show him some of the photos I had brought of the children, while Remus took a seat between Sirius Black and myself. 

The brown haired girl Harry had befriended was placed in Gryffindor; the sandy haired boy was also placed in Gryffindor. Lucius' son, Draco Malfoy, was placed in Slytherin so quickly I wondered if the Sorting Hat had already known which house to choose from. 

Finally. Professor McGonagall called Harry's name. I nodded towards him as he nervously walked up to the stool and placed the hat on. It definitely took it's time deciding; however, nearly a minute after he placed it on his head, the hat opened his head and yelled the house name: 

"GRYFFINDOR!"   


A/N: Aren't these things annoying? Anyway.. I gotta say. I really wanted to put Harry in Slytherin... really badly... but it won't work out for later, so I basically almost shot myself in the foot. I'm still deciding on something though that might come as a total shock and another "kill the author!" round. No, no one dies, I promise. 


	54. Potions With A Dragon

snape54 Small reminder... Harry was raised as a Snape. He doesn't know about James yet, and he got some lessons from Severus already. I know I make Draco out to be an ass, but hopefully that'll change soon enough.   
Aimee   


Harry, Ron, and Hermione, along with the rest of the first year Gryffindors, were led to the portrait of a Fat Lady by Ron's older brother, Percy the Prefect. Along the way, Harry failed to notice the many pairs of eyes starring at him. 

Back in the first year boy dorms, Harry took one of the beds next to Ron while Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and Neville Longbottom took beds on the other side of the room. Ron set his rat, Monte, on his bed, shaking his head as the rat started burping up large purple bubbles. 

"I'm glad I'm in Gryffindor." Ron said, laying down on his large four poster bed. 

Harry shrugged, "I'm curious as to why the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor… I wanted to go into Slytherin. My Dad's the Head of the House, so…" 

Ron looked up at Harry, flabbergasted. "Why on Earth would any normal human being, especially one in Gryffindor, ever want to voluntarily go to Slytherin?" 

"My Dad was there when he went to Hogwarts, but my Mum was in Gryffindor." Harry said, sitting down on his bed. "But I've always been told I'm just like my father." 

Ron shook his head, "You mean you don't know?" 

Harry looked at him curiously, "What don't I mean?" 

"You're not a Snape." Ron said, "Don't you even know your own story? The Boy Who Lived?" 

Harry stuck his tongue out, "I hate it when people call me that." 

"Sorry." Ron apologized. "Ask your Dad, he might tell you." 

Harry shook his head, "What do you mean, my story?" 

Ron poked Monte with his finger, "I mean, go ask your Dad." 

Harry smirked, "Why wouldn't I be a Snape?" 

"Harry, everyone knows the story. I'm surprised you don't." Ron admitted, "I don't want to be the one to tell you. Ask your Dad tomorrow." 

Harry shrugged, still not believing a word that was coming from Ron's lips. "Fine." 

With that, Neville blew out the candles surround the room.   
  
  


The next morning the first years got their schedules; Charms in the morning, then Defense Against the Dark Arts, lunch, then Transfiguration and Potions. Harry welcomed the schedule; he could see Remus and his father, along with Professor McGonagall, of whom his grandfather had introduced him to many times. 

"Potions…" Ron moaned, "On our first day and everything." 

"It won't be that bad." Harry assured him, "Dad knows what he's doing." 

"You know how weird it is to be sitting next to you?" Hermione, a girl Harry and Ron had met on the train, commented. "The Harry Potter… You must be in half the books about the Dark Arts." 

"Harry Potter?" Harry shook his head, "No, Potter's one of my middle names. It's Harry Snape." 

Hermione shook her head, "Well, that's what the books called you." 

Harry wrinkled his nose, "No thanks. I prefer Snape." 

The morning went well; in Charms, Professor Flitwick, a tiny man, taught them how to levitate feathers in midair, which both Harry and Hermione caught on to quickly. However, the rest of the class seemed to have a bit of trouble, in which the Professor was quick to point out. Both Harry and Hermione blushed as Professor Flitwick pointed out their techniques. Harry just shook his head, as he hated to be singled out. 

Defense Against the Dark Arts was wonderful; Harry was able to talk to Professor Lupin a bit, but before he took his seat, Lupin put a hand on his shoulder and sighed. 

"You look just like your father, Harry." 

Harry shook his head, "I don't see the resemblance. Ethan looks like Dad though." 

Lupin had just shaken his head, the instructed Harry to sit down. He sat between Neville and Ron, looking thoroughly confused indeed. 

Transfiguration was by far Harry's favorite subject. He had a head start in the class and was soon turning his needle into a button and back again. Hermione looked at him in awe as she held up her perfect needle. 

"Where did you learn how to do that?" she asked quietly. 

"Dad insisted I learn a bit of magic before coming to Hogwarts." Harry admitted. "This is really all I can do though." 

Their last class of the day was the one Harry was looking forward to the most; Potions. Eager to see his father once more, he dragged Ron down to the dungeons as fast as possible. After walking through the classroom door, he set his stuff down and went straight to Severus, who was sitting at his desk. 

"Hello Dad." Harry grinned, "How's your day been?" 

Severus grinned back, "Just great Harry… How about you?" 

"It's been great!" Harry exclaimed, "But can I talk to you later? Before dinner?" 

Severus nodded, "Of course. You can stay after class if you'd like, we could talk then. Is everything all right?" 

Harry nodded, "Yes, I just wanted to ask you a question, that's all." 

"Ok, but you'd better take your seat now," said Severus, "Class is about to start." 

Harry dashed over to sit next to Ron on the edge of the Gryffindor side of the room. Sitting next to him was a small blonde boy with two burly boys sitting next to him. Harry extended his hand, waiting for the boy to take it. 

"Hello... What's your name?" 

The blonde boy took his hand cautiously and shook it. "Draco Malfoy." 

"You're in Slytherin, right?" 

"And you're Harry Potter." Draco drawled, leaning back in chair. 

"Harry Snape, actually." Harry corrected him. "You're in Slytherin?" 

"Yes." Draco nodded, "And you're in Gryffindor." 

"Yes." Harry agreed, feeling slightly insulted. "What's that got to do with anything?" 

"You're Professor Snape's son." Draco said in the same knowing voice. "Yet you're in Gryffindor." 

"So?" Harry asked, "My Mum was in Gryffindor." 

"Ahh, the famous Lily Potter." Draco nodded, "Sure, of course. I've heard all about her." 

"What do you mean, Lily Potter? Her maiden name is Evans." Harry said just as Severus was standing up. 

"Welcome to your first Potions class. I am Professor Severus Snape, your Potions Master for the next year and hopefully in the years to come." 

His voice wasn't as Harry knew it; instead, it was slightly cold with the drawl Harry heard in Draco's voice. Harry looked up at his father curiously, anxious to talk to him. 

"I'm going to call roll… When I come to your name, say 'here'. Not 'present', not 'yeah?', but 'here'." Severus took in a deep breath, "Lavender?" 

"Here." 

"Millicent?" 

"Here." 

"Vincent?" 

"Here." 

"Seamus?" 

"Here." 

"Hermione?" 

"Here." 

"Gregory?" 

"Here." 

"Neville?" 

"Here." 

"Draco?" 

"Present." 

Severus looked up over his piece of parchment to look at the boy. Raising an eyebrow, he started to speak. 

"Did you do that on accident, or did you just think it would have been funny?" 

Draco smirked. "If I had wanted to funny, you'd be on the floor." 

Severus shook his head, "Don't be so sure of yourself, Mr. Malfoy. Look where it got your father." 

Peter Pettigrew, when caught, had given the names of many Death Eaters, including Lucius Malfoy. He was currently serving a life sentence in Azkaban. 

"Terrance Nott." 

"Here." The Slytherin boy answered. 

"Pansy?" 

"Here." 

"Parvati?" 

"Here." 

"Harry?" 

Harry snapped his head up, as he was talking to Ron. "Ye – Here." 

"Nice save." Severus nodded, "Dean?" 

"Here." 

"Ronald?" 

"Here, and Ron please." 

Severus nodded, "Blaise?" 

"Here." A Slytherin girl said quietly. 

"Glad to know everyone bothered to show up for class. You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making." He didn't need to speak loudly; nearly the whole class was hanging on to his every word. "As there is little wand waving here, many of you will find it hard to believe this is trying magic. You will not understand the beauty of a potion until you have experienced the power these liquids hold. I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death, if you are willing to learn." 

Much of the class nodded, but Draco leaned back and yawned. 

"Mr. Malfoy, is there a problem?" 

Draco shook his head, "No sir." 

"Good. I expect you could tell us what I would get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" 

Harry grinned – he knew the answer. Apparently, so did Hermione, but Draco just starred. 

"Isn't it your job to tell me?" 

"So you admit you don't know everything. Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" 

Draco shook his head, "If I knew, I would tell you." 

"I see you didn't bother to open the book before you came, Malfoy. Let's try this one more time; What is the difference between monkshood and Wolfsbane?" 

"It's obvious I don't know, Professor, but I'm sure your precious – son – does. Ask him if you want to know the answer." Draco crossed his arms. 

Severus glared at the boy, but inside, he was laughing. Draco was terrified of him; he could sense the emotion. "Very well. Harry?" 

Harry smiled, "Asphodel and wormwood makes a powerful sleeping potion, known as the Draught of the Living Death. A bezoar it a stone from the stomach of a goat and can save you from almost all poisons. Monkshood and Wolfsbane are the same plant, which is also known as Aconite." 

Severus nodded, "Very good. Ten points to Gryffindor and – " he glanced over at Draco. " – five from Slytherin. Next time, listen." 

Harry didn't bother to copy down the Potion notes his father was giving everyone; it was a simple cure for boils, one which Harry had done many times with his father. He was highly amused as Draco struggled slightly through his potion, making it a bit thicker than necessary. Harry helped Ron through his, showing him how to add them properly. Neville leaned in to listen carefully, glad for the extra assistance.   



	55. Love In An Elevator

snape55 I love luring you guys into a false sense of hope... *cough*. Anyway, sorry about the... two? parts that went up today even though I had the whole day to write. Typing really hurts and I have an ACE bandage on my right wrist that covers half of my knckles, so.. Yeah. Another lovey-dovey scene... but they're my favorite to write, usually.   
Aimee   


Class was over before Harry knew it. Insisting he'd catch up soon, Harry left Ron and Neville to speak with his father, who was sitting at his desk watching the class leave with little interest. 

"Good class, Dad." Harry commented, standing across from him. 

"I'm sure you didn't learn anything though." Severus gave Harry a half-smile and conjured up a lone chair in front of his desk. "So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" 

Harry shifted uncomfortably, "Three people now have told me my last name's Potter in these books they read about Voldemort." 

What ever Severus was expecting, it hadn't been this. He looked up at Harry, partially shocked. "Harry, you're a Snape. Don't you ever forget that." 

Harry nodded, "Then why is it written as Potter?" 

Severus shook his head, "Because…" he paused. "Tell you what. Your mother's coming down in a few weeks and we'll explain it to you then, ok?" 

Harry nodded, accepting this answer. "But I am a Snape, right?" 

"You are as much of a Snape as anyone else in the family." Severus answered.   


She arrived a little more than a month later, late on a Saturday night. Severus was checking essay papers he assigned the Third Years when the portrait hole swung open. Thinking it was Harry, he didn't look up. "Have a good day, Harry?" 

There was no reply; instead, a pair of arms wrapped around him and a pair of lips connected with his neck. He smiled and turned around, embracing his wife. 

"Lily baby… I missed you." 

Lily reached up and touched his nose, "I missed you too…" she looked around the room for a moment, "I see Papa saved this room for you." 

"For us." Severus corrected, "None of the other staff member rooms, except for your Papa's of course, is this size. Much smaller, in fact." 

Lily smiled, light dancing in her eyes. "Planning ahead, was he?" 

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" 

Lily nuzzled his neck, "No, I came here to see you." 

Severus smiled, "I need to talk to you about something." 

_ Can't it wait? _Lily was now kissing him and slowly reaching over to undo his robes.__

_ Miss me much?___

_ You have no idea.___

_ I think I do…_

Nearly an hour later, the two were lying on the bed, Lily wrapped in Severus' arms. 

"Now, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked, resting her head on his chest. 

"Harry's starting to find out about James." Severus said quietly. 

He could feel her body recoil slightly under him at the mention of James. "How?" 

"A few of his friends, I guess, recognized him and didn't even think to consider he might be adopted." 

Lily nodded, "I guess we're going to have to tell him?" 

"The question is, with or without Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore?" 

Lily thought for a moment, "Harry might want to ask Remus and Sirius about – him – and Dumbledore might help us tell him, but I think… for now… it'll just be us." 

Lily nodded, kissing him once again. "The children send their love." 

"How are you handling them?" Severus asked, playing with a tiny braid in her hair. 

"Ethan's… Ethan. Kaylee insists she can take care of herself, Dea does take care of herself, Drake's a little brat most of the time but I leave him to his house elf, and Star just plays with her siblings." 

"Sounds wonderful." Severus smiled and kissed her once more, "I missed you." 

Lily sighed, "I missed you too… God, I miss this place… The happiest memories of my life took place in this room." 

"You mean in this bed?" Severus smiled, his eyes twinkling. 

"That too." Lily admitted.   
  


The next day, a Sunday, Severus and Lily cornered Harry and took him back up to their room. Harry was about as confused as he could get, but went along willingly. 

"Harry, do you remember that question you asked me on the first day of school?" Severus asked, "The one about Potter?" 

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I do." 

"Well, honey…" Lily started. "It's a bit complicated, but after I married your father, I was forced to marry another man named James Potter."__

_ How do I explain this to an eleven year old child?___

_ Do you want me to take over?_   
  
_ Yes._

"Harry, James Potter – do you know what biological means?" Severus asked. 

Harry nodded, "Dad, I'm not six anymore. Just spit it out." 

"Harry, you're not my biological son." Severus said. "James Potter died when you were a year old; he was the last victim of Voldemort." 

Harry's eyes widened, "You mean, you've been lying to me?" 

Severus shook his head, "No. You're my son, even though we're not blood related. Don't you ever think otherwise; I adopted you shortly afterwards, and I've loved you like a son ever since the day you were born." 

Harry looked helpless, "Mum?" 

Lily nodded, "I gave birth to you Harry… but James nearly missed it." She took in a deep breath, "James was an incredibly abusive man. He hit me and did numerous other things. I hated him, Harry, but I love you more than anything in the world. James' last name is Potter, and yours was before your father adopted you. The books have you down as Harry Potter only because that was your name when – it – happened." 

Harry shook his head, "But… why?" 

"I know this has come as a shock to you, but we wanted to make sure you could fully understand everything before we told you." Lily said quietly. "As you said, a six year old would not understand it." 

Harry nodded, his gaze shifting from Severus to Lily. "Do you.. Could I see a picture of him?" 

Severus smiled, "Look in the mirror, Harry." 

Harry sighed, "So that's why everyone always tells me I look like my father… I thought they meant you."   
  
Severus was slightly hurt at his ton, as if he was brushing him aside. However, he smiled. "Yes, that would be why. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were two of your father's good friends. I'm sure they'd have pictures and stories to tell." 

Harry smiled and then nodded, "Thanks for telling me." 

"You're welcome, Harry… But always remember, it doesn't matter whose blood you have. The person that loves you… your father… is your true father. Understand?" Lily asked. 

Harry nodded once more, "Yes." He then went up to Lily and hugged her, then turned to Severus. "Thanks again." 

Severus smiled as Harry embraced him, "You're welcome."   


  


_ I open my eyes_   
_ To see her face_   
_ In a daze we engaged_   
_ Last night I slept about an hour_   
_ To fill her needs and desires___

_ Chorus_   
_ One more night in California_   
_ One more night with you_   
_ One more night_   
_ Ya she's alright [she's alright]_   
_ One more night [yeah]_   
_ One more night in California___

_ Dom dom dom baby one more night_   
_ Dom dom dom baby one more night___

_ I need to catch a ride_   
_ To the south side_   
_ I grabbed a patty and a shake_   
_ I felt the earthquake_   
_ I jumped in the cab for LAX_   
_ I flipped him a tip_   
_ hey man!_   
_ Then I split___

_ One more night in California_   
_ One more night with you_   
_ One more night___

_ But she's alright_   
_ She's alright_   
_ One more night [yeah]_   
_ One more night in California_   
_ Night in California_   
_ Night in California_   
_ Night in California___

_ dom dom dom baby one more night_   
_ dom dom baby one more night_   
_ I opened my eyes to see her face___

_ But she's alright_   
_ She's alright_   
_ One more night [yeah]_   
_ one night in California___

_ She's alright_   
_ She's alright_   
_ One more night..yeahhh_   
_ One more night in California_   
_ Night in California_   
_ Night in California_   
_ Night in California*___

_*California, The Moffatts. For the second scene, not Harry. :o)_


	56. A Kiss Is A Kiss And A Rose Is A Rose

snape56 Today was the last day of school... Yay! I'm going to get hell for this chapter... Please, before you insist on yelling at me, please read the author's note at the bottom. Thanks.   
Aimee__

  
_ Hermione and Harry… Harry and Hermione._

It was Draco's turn to sneer. After four years, four long years of torture from the Gryffindors, four long years of being pushed to the ground and being stepped on by those pesky boys who thought themselves better than him, it was his turn to get even. 

Hermione and Harry… A Mudblood and the son of the head of Slytherin. It was too perfect, why didn't he see it coming? Of course, it was what his father would have wanted him to do… Lucius Malfoy was a vicious man and would stop at nothing to destroy the lives of others. 

Especially this one. 

Draco sighed as he passed the Transfiguration classroom. Harry always thought of him as the enemy; he was the enemy, in fact, and was damned proud of it. Despite his first flunk in Potions, Professor Snape took a liking to Draco. Snape knew Draco knew about his past, including his Death Eater tendencies. Narcissa Malfoy would have undoubtedly filled him in on the study of the Dark Arts. 

It wasn't a dare – no, it was much more than that. A test, if you must. Harry Potter – Snape, whichever his last name was, had ruined his life. He had taken his father away from him and totally destroyed the basic elements and honor of the Malfoy name. He was determined to get even. 

It was common knowledge Harry wasn't Severus Snape's son; everyone knew, but that didn't seem to bother Harry or Snape in the least. Draco was going to make it bother Snape; he was out for blood. He wanted revenge, no matter what the personal risk was. Harry knew exactly what it was like to have his father taken away from him… However, he had always had a replacement. 

Draco walked briskly into the Great Hall and went straight to the Gryffindor table. Checking to make sure both Professor Snape and Hermione were within viewing distance, Draco went and tapped Harry on the shoulder. Harry turned around almost immediately, his eyes narrowing with disgust when he saw who it was. 

"What do you want?" he spat out, standing up slightly. 

"This." Draco grabbed Harry by the collar with his right hand and gripped it tightly. Harry's eyes widened in horror as Draco pulled him by the neck towards him, pressing his body up against his own. 

Draco glanced over to the High Table quickly, making sure Severus Snape was paying full attention to him – he was. A moment later, Draco leaned in and kissed Harry full on the mouth. 

He then let go of his collar and shot Harry a venomous look, and then turned around on his heals and walked out of the Great Hall, not bothering to listen to the shocked students. 

Harry's eyes were wide open, his mouth agape. Ron stood up next to him, looking at his best friend with wonder. 

"Since when have you been snogging Malfoy?" 

Harry shook his head, thoroughly disgusted with himself. "I haven't." 

"Then how exactly would you explain that?" Hermione butt in, crossing her arms to face Harry. 

"He's pissed off about something." Ron interjected, "Wonder why he took it out on you?" 

"I always knew Malfoy was a pretty-boy, but never… that way." Harry was still shaking his head. "Get me some liquid – any kind of liquid – before I throw up." 

Draco smiled to himself back in the deserted Slytherin common room. He didn't care what Snape's punishment would be; it would all be worth it in the end. 

Crabbe and Goyle walked into the common room looking as confused as they had ever been; for them, that was saying something. Almost as if they were afraid to look at Draco, the two kept their eyes on the floor as if they were one person. 

"Uhh… Draco?" Crabbe asked, "Why'd you do that?" 

Draco shook his head, "You wouldn't understand, Crabbe, so don't even bother asking." 

"We wanted to know…" Goyle started, "Are you gay?" 

Draco laughed bitterly, "God I wish I was."   
  


That day, the three of them – Harry, Ron, and Hermione – spent hours trying to figure ways out to get Draco back for what he did. Not only were most of Harry's classmates starting to doubt his claimed sexual preference, one of two boys had looked at Harry in a way that not only wanted to make him disappear, but scald himself in boiling water. 

Near the end of the day, Severus caught up to Harry, who was with Hermione at the time. The two had been dating for a little over two months now, and Severus was curious as to why Malfoy would do such a thing. 

"Harry… May I please speak to you, alone?" Severus asked, directing Harry into an empty classroom. He nodded for Hermione to continue on her way as he follow his father into the room. 

Severus shut the door quietly behind them, then looked at Harry with a quizzical expression on his face. "Dare I ask what that little scene with Mr. Malfoy was about earlier?" 

"I'm not gay, if that's what your asking." Harry sighed, "Ask him why he did it, because I sure as f-cking hell don't know." 

Severus looked up as a response to Harry's language; "Pardon me? What did you just say?" 

"I said," Harry breathed, "Ask him why he did it, because I as f-cking hell don't know." 

Severus' eyes narrowed, "Don't you dare use that language around me, son." 

"Why not?" Harry asked bitterly, "It's part of the English language – why is it banned anyway?" 

"The English language," Severus started, "Is a very precise and exact thing; as mixed up and diverse it can be, there is only one proper way to truly say some things. Saying it otherwise results in sounding as if you do not know the proper way; therefore, you sound stupid." 

"Glad to know you've joined the Anti-Harry club." Harry smirked, "Wouldn't want to be left out, would you?" 

Severus was taken back by the way Harry was acting; never in his life had he ever spoke this way to either himself or Lily. "Why are you acting like this?" 

Harry just shook his head, "Must be all those Potter genes in my blood; from what I've heard, he was one hell of a son of a bitch. I might as well just follow his footsteps, seeing as I'm so much like him." 

In one swift motion, Severus had grabbed Harry by the shoulder and was approximately two inches away from him. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again, do you understand me? You are NOT like James Potter, nor will you ever be. You are ten times the man James ever was – do you understand me?" 

Harry glared at Severus, "Why should I listen to you?" 

Severus was positively seething now; if Harry had been in his right mind, he would have bolted for the door. "Because I am your father, that's why." 

Harry tore his shoulder out of Severus' grip. "No, you're _not_ my father. James Potter is; don't fool yourself." With that, he turned on his heel much like Draco had earlier in the day and walked out on a stunned Severus Snape.   


A/N: Before you start yelling at me, no, Harry is NOT gay, nor will he ever be. At least not in this story... There was a reason for that, so please don't yell at me for it. Ok? Thanks. 


	57. The Gift ... (Mum Can Too?)

snape57 No, Draco is NOT gay... But he wishes he was. Let's just say most Slytherin girls aren't exactly gorgeous, but I've heard Marcus Flint is quite the catch... Kidding, slightly. I'm not going to tell you why Draco wants to be gay... Maybe later, but not now. WARNING: Many, many song-based chapters coming up. Most of them will be, in fact... O, and on a funny note, Carson Daly (TRL dude) hosts a countdown on my favorite radio station, the top ten... This time, they started at #6. Can you say "put the little bar on the sound file all the way over to the left side"? I'm a DJ at my highschool station, so... Yeah. That bugged me. I'll shut up now, bye.   
Aimee   


The relationship between father and son was never the same; Harry eventually apologized and Severus eventually forgave him, but from then on, the bond they had was broken. Before this, they had rarely ever argued; now, arguments were a weekly occurrence, much to Draco's delight. 

Severus was torn between striking down on his son or brushing it off as a phase; Ethan was now a first year and Lily was getting busier and busier, dealing with Dakota and Drake at home. Dea and Kaylee, however, were perfect angels, according to her. 

Severus didn't get to see Lily until Christmas vacation that year. The Tri-Wizard Tournament was being held at Hogwarts, and the Hogwarts school champion, Cedric Diggory, was in first place. Severus barely had time to breathe, let alone see Lily. 

Harry, Ethan, and Severus went back to the Snape mansion on the 17th of December, despite Harry's best efforts to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays. 

Severus was greeted with open arms from his children, while Ethan went directly to his mother. Harry didn't even bother with the family; he went up to his room as soon as he walked through the door, not even greeting Lily. Setting his small bag containing his wand and a few other necessities, he collapsed onto his bed and sighed, starring up at the ceiling. 

Severus, meanwhile, watched his son climb the stairs in a dejected way, dragging his bag along with him. He reached Lily and gave her a kiss, trying to transfer his feelings to her.__

_ What's wrong?___

_ I told you about the fight Harry and I had…___

_ Yes, you did.___

_ I think he hates me.___

_ Sev! He could never hate you.___

_ I wouldn't be too sure about that if I were you._

There was a pause, and then their lips connected once more. 

_ Listen to him…___

_ Ok… God, it's good to see you again.___

_ It's good to see you again too, Sev._

The two broke apart and Severus slowly shifted his concentration from her to Harry, slightly confused by the rage he suddenly felt. 

_ Those bastards… How can they understand? He's down there, hugging his children while I'm up here, the bastard son… Why the hell does he hate me so much?_

Severus flinched at these thoughts, and then excused himself from the rest of the family. He made his way up the stairs, careful not to make a sound. He came to Harry's door and knocked softly. 

_Bastard…_ "Come in!" 

Severus opened the door slowly and then closed it behind him, pausing for a moment. 

"Yes?" Harry asked. 

Severus walked forward to the edge of Harry's bed. "Are you ok, son?"__

_ Why are you calling me 'son' all of the sudden? Change of heart?_

Before Harry could verbally answer, Severus held up his hand. "I'm calling you son because you are my son... I never had a change of heart." 

Harry looked at Severus, his mouth hanging open slightly.__

_ What the hell…?_

"If I asked you not to use that language under my roof, would it make a difference?" Severus sighed. Harry shook his head. 

"How are you… What?" 

Severus smiled slightly, "Let's just call it a gift."__

_ Can you hear what I'm thinking?_

"Yes." Severus answered. 

Harry sat up, "Oh my God…" 

Severus sat down lightly at the end of Harry's bed. "Would it make any difference if I apologized?" 

"For what?" Harry asked, voice shaking slightly. 

"For making you think I hated you." 

Harry shook his head, "I know you do… How could you not? I heard the story, Professor Lupin told me all about you and Mum, how you had to break up with her because of Voldemort… How my father was killed – " 

"Your biological father." Severus corrected, "I raised you, Harry. Just because you're James' child doesn't mean I hate you, quite the opposite actually. If Remus told you the whole story, then do you know how for the first year of your life, only your grandfather knew who your father was?" 

Harry cocked his head a bit, looking up at Severus. "What?" 

Severus took in a deep breath, "You know how babies are made, I'm sure. Lily was married to both James and I; neither relationship was illegal or morally wrong. Understand?" 

Harry nodded, "But… you mean, you could have been my real dad?" 

"Your biological father." Severus corrected once again, "Yes, there was a total possibility. Harry, just because I'm not – don't think I hate you." 

"Then why do you treat Ethan and everyone different? You hug them more, you… I don't know, look at them differently, I guess." 

"How?" Severus asked gently, "If anything, I try to be more of a father to you than to them." 

"You look at them like…" Harry thought for a moment, "Like you simply adore them." 

"And I don't look at you like that?" Severus smiled a bit, "Your mother tells me at least twice a week to pay a bit more attention to your younger siblings. I love and adore you just as much as I love them; they might have my blood running through their veins, but you – God Harry, you're my _son_. With you, blood has never mattered. It will never matter, I see no way how." 

There was a pause as the tense in the air slowly decreased. Finally, Harry cracked a smile. 

"Ok." 

Severus smiled and hoisted himself up next to Harry. "What do you say me and you spend a day together – just us, sometime during the holidays?" 

Harry nodded, "That sounds like fun." 

Severus nodded back, "Good, I'll tell your mother she's going to be stuck without us for a day – think she'll survive?" 

Harry smirked, "With Ethan and Dakota running around? It's hard to call." 

Severus grinned, "I'll say… Do you think I could talk you into coming downstairs? I know a certain five year old is terribly excited to see you." 

"Dakota?" Harry asked. 

"That would be the one." 

Harry nodded, "Ok, but I want to ask you something first… How long have you been able to…?" 

"Read minds?" Severus finished, "Ever since I graduated from Hogwarts." 

"You mean to tell me, all these years you've known when I was lying and what I was thinking?" Harry asked. 

Severus shook his head, "No. Lily and I made a rule when we moved in; we weren't going to listen to you children unless we had a very, very good reason to." 

"You mean… Mum…?" Harry looked faint. "Does this mean all the other kids can too?" 

"Hardly." Severus shook his head, "I'd sooner have Voldemort back than let those children have access to all the minds on Earth. Believe me, you'd be the first child to get the Gift, if I ever saw a reason to – which I haven't and probably never will." 

Harry nodded, "I find out more about this family every day…" 

"So do I," Severus agreed, "So do I."   



	58. Things That Go Bump In The Night

snape58 Personally, I love this chapter... It has a basis, there's a reason behind it... subtle things only I could point out to you that kind of "foreshadow" the next major event. Look for them... I'm thinking about upping this story to R. Any objections? It's a bit... err... dirty for the average 13 year old (not saying that I wasn't reading and writing this stuff two or three years ago). Tell me if you like it.   
Aimee   


"So, I see you made up with Harry." Lily commented that night. 

_ One button… Two buttons…_

"Yes, I did. He and I are going to spend a day together sometime during the holidays." 

_ Three buttons… four… Mmm._

"That's good." 

_ Now shut up and kiss me._

"Lily baby, you're a bit excited tonight, yes?" 

_ Because I want you…___

_ Don't you always, baby?___

_ Always…_

Lily's fingers started fumbling with the last button of Severus' shirt and he soon reached up and undid it himself, then leaned in and kissed her. 

_Why can't you stay here with me?___

_ I have obligations, dear.___

_ So? Tell Papa you quit… They could find a new Potions Master, no problem… I hear Remus quit.___

_ Yes, he did, claimed his transformations were getting too powerful for him to handle each month and didn't want to endanger the students.___

_ That was thoughtful.___

_ Yes… Sirius is still around, however. Harry likes to talk to him.___

_ Harry, Harry, Harry… Always Harry. What about me?___

_ Baby, you have my complete attention right now.___

_ Only because of where I'm sitting.___

_ No, no… That's only partially the reason.___

_ Then what's the rest?___

_ This…_

Severus laid her down, straddling her hips. "Do you have any idea how much I love you, baby?" 

"I have some idea…" Lily smiled and cupped his chin in her hands, touching her nose with his. "Is it because of my ravishing looks or magnetic personality?" 

"Both." Severus kissed her, "Your Papa was right." 

Lily smirked, "You're about to f-ck me and you mention Papa." 

"Yes... Well, when he said you and I were like rabbits." 

Lily laughed lightly, "Yes, I suppose he was." 

Severus kissed her once more, running a finger down her cheek._ Promise you'll never leave me._

Lily moaned, _God, I promise… Sev…___

_ Yes baby?___

_ If you say one more god damned word, I swear to god… I don't know what I'll do…___

Severus laughed, _Yes Madam._

It was nearing three in the morning, yet I was still awake. I gazed at Lily's face, a smile creeping onto my own lips. Her dark auburn hair spilled across the pillow, mixing with my own black hair, now even with my ears. 

She still looked the same… Maybe a bit older, but she was still as beautiful as ever. Her skin was still as soft as it was the first day I touched her, her eyes still as alive as the first time I ever looked in to them… She was amazing. I didn't know what I would do without her; die, surely. She and our wonderful children… Her pregnancies were always difficult, but I tried my best to help her through each and every time. Her and I… we were truly magical. We needed no wands, just each other. 

I closed my eyes and concentrated on her as a wave of happiness washed over me. I felt whole; complete, as if we were a puzzle joined together. I dreaded leaving, even though it was two weeks away. Christmas was almost always the happiest time of the year for me in my adult life. Lily made it all worth it, always being there when I needed her. 

I looked outside and noticed the full moon. A wave of guilt washed over me as I remember Remus, out there attempting to tear himself limb from limb. I hoped he was safe, or as safe as a werewolf could be. 

I kissed Lily's forehead softly as a sudden wave of sleepiness washed through me. I didn't want to sleep; I wanted to stay here, conscious of all my time left with this angel sleeping next to me. 

When it was over, I could always look forward to forever with her.   


_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing_   
_Watch you smile while you are sleeping_   
_While you're far away dreaming_   
_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender_   
_I could stay lost in this moment forever_   
_Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure___

_Don't want to close my eyes_   
_I don't want to fall asleep_   
_Cause I'd miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing_   
_Cause even when I dream of you_   
_The sweetest dream will never do_   
_I'd still miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing___

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating_   
_And I'm wondering what you're dreaming_   
_Wondering if it's me you're seeing_   
_Then I kiss your eyes_   
_And thank God we're together_   
_I just want to stay with you in this moment forever_   
_Forever and ever___

_Don't want to close my eyes_   
_I don't want to fall asleep_   
_Cause I'd miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing_   
_Cause even when I dream of you_   
_The sweetest dream will never do_   
_I'd still miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing___

_I don't want to miss one smile_   
_I don't want to miss one kiss_   
_I just want to be with you_   
_Right here with you, just like this_   
_I just want to hold you close_   
_Feel your heart so close to mine_   
_And just stay here in this moment_   
_For all the rest of time___

_Don't want to close my eyes_   
_I don't want to fall asleep_   
_Cause I'd miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing_   
_Cause even when I dream of you_   
_The sweetest dream will never do_   
_I'd still miss you baby_   
_And I don't want to miss a thing_   
_Don't want to close my eyes_   
_I don't want to fall asleep_   
_I don't want to miss a thing.*___

_*Aerosmith, I Don't Want To Miss A Thing_   
__


	59. Godric's Hollow

snape59   
And I now have a plot for this ending! Yay! No threats to lynch me, please. Thank you and have a nice day.   
Aimee   


Christmas was spectacular; the children spent the day running around the house with tinsel in their hair and candies clutched in their fists. Harry and Ethan fought again; this time, Ethan brought out the big guns and shot Harry down not having the same blood as him. Harry had immediately punched Ethan in the face, leaving two black eyes and a broken nose. 

Ethan denied the whole thing, of course; Harry, however, wouldn't have made something up like that, especially since he was becoming incredibly sensitive on the subject of James. I had wondered why it took him so long to completely absorb the subject; however, as he was only eleven when he was told and could not quite completely register the idea of his father being someone he had no memory of and someone who had abused his mother… If it was myself instead of him, it would have taken me much longer than three years to absorb it. 

He and I decided on December 27th, two days after Christmas, he and I would travel to London and perhaps Wales for a few hours. He was anxious to see Godric's Hollow, although Lily didn't want me to bring him to the location of James' death, in fear it might traumatize him slightly. It was one of the first arguments we ever had; I insisted on bringing him to Godric's Hollow, saying he was old enough to handle the truth. The house had been occupied by Muggles for the past fourteen years, so it wouldn't matter anyway. Lily finally caved in after nearly an hour, making me promise to take full responsibility for Harry if he ended up even remotely scarred by the visit. 

It went as well as I could have hoped for; Harry and I went to Diagon Ally first, he admired the Firebolt broomstick as I went into Flourish and Blott's for a few books. We then ate lunch together at the Leaky Cauldron, avoiding stares from various hags, wizards, and witches. 

Harry insisted we leave early for Godric's Hollow, as he wanted to take as much time as he needed. For what, I was clueless, but as he kept on insisting, I finally gave in and we left for Wales. 

Godric's Hollow was never anything spectacular; to Harry, however, it was if he had found himself. He gazed up at the home Lily and James lived in as if he could see the events of fourteen years ago play out in front of him. He was standing in the exact spot I had stood in while standing guard for Voldemort, and I toyed with the idea of telling him that for a while. However, before I could speak, he turned to me and smiled one of the biggest smiles I had seen on him in years. 

"Dad, thanks for taking me, but can we go home now?" 

I nodded, checking my watch. We would be nearly three hours earlier than I had anticipated. I told Lily we would be back between the hours of six and eight; it was barely even three in the afternoon when we started making our way back, by train. 

"Did you enjoy Godric's Hollow?" I asked Harry, who was sitting in the seat next to me. 

"Yes, thank you." Harry said, "It was almost as if I could remember what happened… strange." He shook his head. 

"Yes…" I said quietly, "The events were fairly clear in my mind, also. Considering you were barely a year old, even a slight remembrance is a huge accomplishment." 

Harry nodded, "Could you tell me what happened?" 

I sighed, "If you must know… But your mother will have my head if I tell you." 

"So she doesn't have to know." Harry suggested, "It could be our secret?" 

I smiled in spite of myself, "If you absolutely must know… But I have to warn you, the events aren't quite… Pleasant. After I tell you, I can almost guarantee you you'll have a different perspective of both your mother and I." 

Harry nodded, "I understand." 

I nodded back, "There is a way to show you… literally. But you would only get my recount of the events and my emotions to go along with them. I could show you as I remember it… But I daresay it'd be a bit too dramatic." 

Harry shook his head vigorously, "No, no... I want to know. No one's really explained it fully before." 

I sighed, then touched his shoulder gently. "Close your eyes." He obeyed, and soon I felt a surge of electricity go into him as my memories were transferred over to him and back to me. 

A moment later, he opened his eyes, trembling slightly. "You were a Death Eater?" 

"A spy." I said quietly, "For Dumbledore, not for Voldemort. The man next to me – Peter Pettigrew – is the man who betrayed your mother and James. He was their secret keeper… He's currently rotting in Azkaban. I believe he received the Dementor's Kiss shortly after arriving, as Sirius Black informed Dumbledore that Pettigrew was an Animagus." 

"He was?" Harry said incredulously. "What did he turn in to, a cow?" 

I smiled, "No, true to his name – Wormtail – he was a rat." 

Harry nodded, "He deserved it." 

"Yes, he did." I sighed, "He nearly got your mother and you killed. If I had found him before the Ministry had, I can assure you I would be in the cell next to Pettigrew's dead body." 

We arrived at the Snape mansion fifteen minutes to four, to the children playing together in one of the living rooms. I hugged each individually after asking Ethan where his mother was.   
  
"She's upstairs with Mr. Lupin." He informed me. I thanked him, partially glad Remus was keeping Lily company. I quickly made my way upstairs to the Master Bedroom, turning the handle and opening the door fairly quickly. 

What stood before me was something I would never, even in my wildest dreams, have imagined. Remus Lupin was lying in Lily's spot on the bed, Lily on my side, cradled in each other's arms, naked. 

The moment I saw them, Lily jumped up and pulled the sheets over her body, which had suddenly gone pale and was shaking slightly. 

"Severus… you – you're home early." She said quietly. Remus sat up, looking at me with a blank expression on his face. 

"Lily… you… him… how could you?" I spat out, backing out of the room slowly. Lily jumped up and threw on her robe, running towards me. 

"Severus... please…" she started. I shook my head and held up my wand, pointing it first at her, then at Remus, then back at Lily. 

"Don't you dare move." I then turned around and ran back down the stairs and out the door. I Apparated to the first place I thought of: Hogwarts.   



	60. Jaded

snape60 The "reason" and Lily's account of events... I see many of you weren't expecting this at all. Was it really so far fetched? I would have thought at least someone would have guessed it... Happy Friday.   
Aimee   


He came with good intentions; I had sent him a Christmas card and invited him over for the day, only to talk and visit. I had no idea what it would lead up to. 

He conversed with the children for about an hour, finally asking to see me alone. I nodded and led him up to the Master Bedroom, knowing it was the only place we could speak alone. 

He set me down and just looked into my eyes for a moment. It wasn't romantic; not in the least. It was a friendly gesture. 

"How are you doing?" He knew I was often depressed. Even Severus had no idea; he was rarely home any more. It was partially my fault for making him take the job as the Potions Master at Hogwarts, but the time away from him was slowly killing me. 

"Better… He's home for another few days." I smiled weakly. "Our anniversary was yesterday." 

Remus smiled, "How many years?" 

"Seventeen." I sighed, "It seems like forever though." 

"I'm sure it does," Remus nodded, "It's half your life." 

I smiled, "Yes, it is… But God Remus, every day it seems like we're slowly breaking apart, bit by bit. I don't even know how to explain it… He's more concerned with Harry now than he is with me and his own children." 

"Harry is his child." Remus said quietly, "He's too afraid of losing him to take that gamble… Talk to him about it. Severus loves you more than any other human being on this planet, I'm sure of it." 

I looked up at him, ashamed of the tears starting to form in my eyes. "I don't know anymore… He says that, but how do I know he's not off with some girl in Hogsmeade each night? How do I know I'm still the one he thinks about each day?" 

"You have the tools." Remus said quietly, "You know you do." 

I sighed once more, "God this is so hard… Seventeen years, right? He's never done anything to make me think he's unfaithful. Why do I feel this way? I love him as much as I ever have, but I just feel so uncertain." 

"Lily, babe, it's much too soon for you to be having a midlife crisis." Remus joked feebly. 

"Only Muggles have midlife crisis's." I sniffed, "But why?" 

Remus paused, "Ask yourself why, Lil." 

I thought for a moment, but nothing came to me. "I – I don't know." 

"Think." He leaned in closer, and I could feel his hot breathe on my face. 

I thought once more, but still no answers came. Instead, I did something I never should have done, nor had any reason to do. 

I kissed him. 

Instead of pulling back, he gave in to temptation; my mind screamed that this was wrong, but how wrong could something this sweet be? I felt nothing towards him. The thoughts that filled my head were only of Severus and his reaction if he ever found I out I did something such as this. 

It was all me; I didn't allow him to stop, but I never wanted to go as far as we did. My body was screaming for me to stop, it was incredibly painful defying Severus like that. I needed this though; I needed to know if my emotions towards Severus were as real as this. 

I felt the sunlight pour through the windows, spreading out across the black satin sheets that lay across the bed Remus and I were now on. 

_ This is wrong… This is so incredibly wrong… Think of her husband, what's he going to say? He loves her, you're going to kill him… You're going to kill their relationship… Damn it, Remus, STOP._

I could hear him as well as if he was truly talking. I, however, held on tighter and kissed him harder. There was no passion behind it; just need. He was one of my three best friends, how could I do something like this with him? It wasn't him though… It was the anger, the frustration I felt with Severus. It wasn't love, it was the opposite. Aggression towards Severus ran through my body as I transferred it to Remus. 

The poor man was as clueless as I was. I was terrified of Severus walking through that door as I knew he would in four hours, but I was convinced he would never know. 

I was hurting myself. I was hurting Remus, I was hurting my family, my children, Severus. God, I was going to hurt Severus as much as learning Harry wasn't his son had hurt him… More, even. 

They would never expect this. Never in their wildest dreams. I had no idea what I was doing, but soon we were both undressed and hands were running up and down our bodies. Still, there was no emotion, no human contact. Just anger and frustration. 

My mouth separated from his briefly. I wasn't planning on speaking, however I didn't give myself a choice. 

"Make love to me… Please, Remus…" 

Oh God, why had I said that? I just sealed my fate. Why? Why, why, why… I didn't mean it. 

He looked up at me with a pleading expression in his eyes. "Lily…" 

"Please, Remus. He'll never know." Why had I said that? Why? 

He finally gave in, almost as if he knew I needed it. Silently, he was cursing himself and going through many different scenarios in his mind, each worse than the last. 

It was nothing compared to the emotion of contact Severus and I had; I soon realized that. There was no sense of fulfillment, only a feeling of dread that settled in my stomach once it was over. I took Severus' side of the bed, knowing he would take it even worse if he found Remus lying where he should. I didn't speak afterwards, only listened to Remus fight his consciousness. 

I fell asleep soon after that, allowing Remus to try to comfort me as tears streamed down my face. He had no idea what I was feeling; I was disgusted with myself. It wasn't his fault in the least; I made him, he had little choice in the matter. There was no emotion, no love, no lust behind it. I felt emptier than I had in seventeen years, ever since Severus' daughter was taken from me. Had it really been that long? It seemed almost as if it was yesterday… Instead of running away, he proposed to me. I would never find a man more caring than that, more special… But I had just destroyed it. Why? Why did I have to do that? I felt as if I needed to defy him at first, but now that it was over, I felt terrible. 

I was awakened perhaps an hour later by the sound of the door opening. It took a moment for all the memories to come flooding back into me, but once they had, I felt as if my insides were suddenly infested with snakes. I pulled the sheets over my body, ashamed for him to see me like that with another man. 

I was trembling as I sat up; Would he hurt me? I deserved it. He lingered in the doorway, a shocked expression on his face 

"Severus… you – you're home early." I stammered. Next to me, Remus sat up. I could hear him screaming at himself alongside Severus' confusion. 

"Lily… you… him… how could you?" he spat out. He took a step back – No! He was leaving… He couldn't leave… No. 

I jumped up, not caring if Remus saw my body. I threw on my robe and started towards Severus, guilt pounding through my veins. "Severus... please…" 

Instead of stopping, he whipped out his wand and pointed it at me. I froze as he then aimed it towards Remus, then back at me. I was right; he was going to kill me. 

"Don't you dare move." Severus hissed, his voice sounding more hateful than I had ever heard it. He then turned and ran out of the room, his black hair flowing behind him. I then looked at Remus, who had started putting his robes back on. 

"Remus… I'm so, so, so sorry…" I said numbly, still trembling. He gave me an expression of pity, then tore after Severus. I sank back on to the bed, rocking back and forth, sobbing my eyes out. 

"God… what have I done?"   


  
  
__

_Hey...Jaded._   
_You got your mama's style but your yesterday's child to me_   
_So jaded_   
_You think that's where it's at but is that where it's sposta be_   
_You're gettin it all over me_   
_X-rated_

_My my baby blue_   
_I've been Thinking bout you, my my baby blue_   
_Yeah you're so jaded_   
_And I'm the one that jaded you_

_Hey jaded_   
_In all its misery, it will always be what I loved_   
_And hated, and maybe take a ride to the other side we're thinking of_   
_We'll slip into the velvet glove, and be jaded_

_My my baby blue_   
_I've been thinking about you, my my baby blue_   
_I'm so Jaded_   
_And baby I'm afraid of you_

_You're thinking so complicated_   
_I've had it all up to here_   
_But it's so overrated, love and hate it, wouldn't trade it, love me jaded_

_Hey, jaded_   
_There ain't no baby please when I'm shooting the breeze with her_   
_When everything you see is a blur_   
_And ecstasy is what you prefer_

_My my baby blue...blue...blue_   
_I've been Talking 'bout you_   
_My my baby blue… blue...blue_   
_Yeah I've been thinking about you_   
_My my baby blue_   
_Yeah you're so Jaded, Haven, Jaded, You're so Jaded_   
_Cause I'm the one who jaded you.*_

_*Aerosmith, Jaded._   


  
  
  



	61. Hard To Believe

snape61 By request, Remus' POV. Damn I write quick... You guys better love me. :o) I rented a movie (Billy Elliot) that I really want to watch right now, so don't expect another chapter until around midnight, maybe. *small* surprise thrown in... Nothing big though. Just kind of a "Lily, you BITCH!" thing. Enjoy.   
Aimee   
__

_ God, why am I doing this?_

It was for comfort, I suppose. I felt little or nothing for her that way; perhaps when we were sixteen or seventeen, but never now. With my life, I was incapable of having a true relationship with witch or Muggle; to have a relationship with a Muggle would be to show them a whole other world they were currently not aware of. To have a relationship with a witch would be a tangled web of lies, as my kind are not trusted in the least. 

A werewolf. When my family found out I had been bitten, I was basically shunned. My twin brother was sent to live with my father in France and was never heard from again. My mother, however, concerned for my safety as well, tried her best to make me feel accepted. That was the last shred of love I had ever received. This was no acceptation. 

I knew it was wrong; why I gave in, however, I'll never know. Lily was one of my best friends. To do this would be to ruin her relationship with the one man who loved her more than life it's self. It was a selfish act on both our parts; I craved human touch and she was set on finding herself. I never got to ask if she finally realized what it was that made her feel as if Severus was falling out of love with her; he found us. 

I silently cursed myself the whole way through – I'm quite sure Lily heard me. When Severus walked in, I knew she had been had. She radiated guilt, Severus picked up on that immediately. I knew what ever it was that Severus was about to do – curse me, hex me, even kill me – I deserved it. Lily, however unfaithful she had been, was a mess. I left her without saying a word, running after Severus, but I only caught a glimpse of him before he Apparated. No doubt to the gate before Hogwarts; it was his haven as it had been mine. 

I gave up, knowing it was hopeless. Severus was beyond mad; he was hurt, betrayed, and most certainly confused and trying to find a way to blame himself. It was the way he was; always trying to find fault in his own actions rather than other. 

I shook my head and made my way out of the Snape Mansion, feeling as guilty and as bad as I had ever felt in my life.   
  


Rain poured down the cathedral style windows as lightening struck the ground. I shuddered as the thunder rumbled throughout the castle, pulling my robes more tightly around me. The beautiful snow that had been falling as Harry and I left Hogwarts was now replaced with the torrential downfall of ugly rain. 

I wasn't complaining. The rain matched my mood perfectly and my head was swimming with thoughts. 

My wife and Remus. Remus and my wife. Lily and the werewolf. The werewolf and Lily. It was far too confusing for my mind to comprehend at the time; all I wanted to do was to curl up and sleep, disappearing into my most hated dreams rather than have to experience the waking hours. 

I had to see him first, to know if he had any part in this. Fifteen years ago, he had helped Lily and I sneak around England when she was married to James. I had to know if he knew. 

I reached the gargoyle and mumbled the password, then quickly made my way up the winding staircase. As I reached the large oak doors, I knocked as hard as possible. I heard a char creak and then the door slowly opened. 

"Severus?" Professor Dumbledore asked. I nodded. 

"Hello, sir." 

He smiled, showing off his many teeth, and waved his hand for me to sit down. I obliged and seated myself in one of the wooden chairs. 

"To what do I owe this honor?" he asked, leaning across his desk. "Lily isn't have another child, is he? I would have thought six were enough." 

I winced at the sound of her name, "No, I'm here to ask you something." 

"Ask away, Severus." 

I took in a deep breath, "I came home today from a day with Harry. We went to Godric's Hollow – he believed he was ready." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Go on." 

"When I came home, I went upstairs and – err, caught Lily and Remus Lupin in our bed." 

Dumbledore's head shot up. "Pardon?" 

"I caught her sleeping with Remus Lupin, sir." 

Dumbledore looked down at his hands. "I can assure you, Severus, I had nothing to do with it. I arranged nothing." 

I sighed with relief, "I didn't think you did, sir… I just wanted to make sure." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, yes… I shall be having a little chat with Lily to hear her story behind it all, then if needed, Professor Lupin. Did she give you any reason as to why she did it?" 

I shook my head, "No, but it was voluntary, Remus didn't – force her or anything of the sort." 

Dumbledore nodded once again, "Good, I wouldn't want to have to come down on the poor man." He looked up once more, "Did you two speak at all?" 

I shook my head, "No, I left immediately." 

"I suggest that you try speaking to her, or at least listening. You might find the reason." He suggested. 

"I'm not so sure about that, Headmaster. As of right now, I can barely even think myself, let alone listen to her." 

"You must try." Dumbledore insisted, "For it will help you understand." 

I sighed and nodded. "Yes sir." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Now, go get some rest. I shall call you after I have spoken with Lily." 

I nodded once more, "Thank you, Headmaster." 

"You're welcome, Severus." Dumbledore paused. "Sixteen years of marriage is quite a lot, don't you think?" 

"Seventeen." I corrected quietly. "Seventeen years as of yesterday." 

"Ahh, yes. Seventeen years then." 

I nodded, "Seventeen years is quite a while, sir, but I still love her as if we were still twenty." 

"How old are you now, Severus?" Dumbledore asked. 

"Thirty-five today, sir." 

Dumbledore smiled, "Happy Birthday, Severus." 

"Thank you sir. Quite the birthday present I received." 

Dumbledore shook his head, "It will get better; I'll get to the bottom of this and as long as you're willing to forgive her if she deserves it, it will get better." 

I nodded, "She'd better have a damned good reason." 

"I'm sure she does." He paused, "She misses you, Severus. If it were me, I wouldn't take the job as Potions Master next year, if you two stay together. She writes me often, asking how you are. She misses you so much I daresay she tried to find you in someone else close to her. However, I'm sure she feels terrible. Just listen, Severus." 

"I will, Headmaster." I nodded, "As soon as I'm able to think for myself." 

He shook his head, "No, no. Go to your chamber and listen for as long as it takes for you to find out why. Don't argue or defy me; she can't lie to herself, therefore she can't lie in her thoughts." 

I nodded, giving in. "Yes sir." 

"And Severus – " he paused, " – it may seem hard to believe right now, but she does truly love you." 

I nodded once more, "Yes, Headmaster. It does seem hard to believe."   



	62. Restless Minds

snape62 Wow this took a while to edit and revise... geez... Anyway, hope you like it. The **bold** stuff is basically showing emphasis that _these babies_ usually show.   
Aimee   


Severus laid down on his bed and tried to clear his mind for a moment before he started. Knowing it would be painful, he had a goblet full of Dreamless Sleep potion sitting next to him on one of the night tables. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying his best to concentrate. 

_He hates you know, you do realize this, right? Why did you have to do that… Why **Remus**? Why couldn't you have waited to talk to Severus? You know he would never do anything like that… Why then? He did nothing to deserve this. He hates you… why did you do this?___

_ All he's ever done to you is love you, and you go behind his back and f-ck Remus. He doesn't care that you didn't mean it; he doesn't care that you felt as if you were going to die of guilt and humiliation afterward. He doesn't care that Remus means **nothing**, that it was just a spur of the moment type thing.___

_ He's **never** going to speak to you again. You're going to speak through lawyers, battling over rights to the mansion and the kids… Oh God, the kids. **You have kids**. This isn't fifteen years ago… You have children. You have his children. **His** children. He helped you create them. How are you going to explain this to them? To them, you are perfect. He is perfect any way you look at it; through the children's eyes, through your eyes… He is perfect. He **hates** you now.___

_ He is – was? – your husband. He loves – loved? – you. He **f-cking** proposed to you at the exact time you needed it most. You slept with him voluntarily, after all that b-stard James did to you. You let him in… You let him see you for who you truly are. **He** let you in, helped you in your time of need, and never complained. Not **once**.___

_ You couldn't handle him leaving. You **coward**. You **bitch**. You're the one who talked him into it, and three years later you learn you can't handle it. You can't handle the empty spot in the bed next to you; you can't handle the fact that you had to be the grown up. You couldn't handle having six children to look after. You couldn't handle it.___

_ Now look at you… Crying, sobbing, dirty. Still in your robes. You haven't seen the children off to bed tonight, yet it's nearing midnight. You **yell** at Harry when he tries to see what's wrong – your own **god damned son.** You're a f-cking **wreck**, you can't even think straight. Yes, cut, maybe the blood will stain the sheets, making them as dirty as you are. You wouldn't **dare** though… you couldn't. You're a **coward** and you know it. You're too afraid of dying to kill yourself; far too afraid. But it looks like the answer, **doesn't it?**___

_ Kill yourself and get it over with. Yes, the solution; the **god damned solution**. But now you're going to start playing "what if?" and you're not going to do it. You'll **never** be able to do it. You love him too much to even think about how much he'd hate you even more if you did that.___

_ You **slept** with **Remus**. You felt him inside of you, you let him see parts of you only two other men have ever seen in your life. You cried when he f-cked you, you had Remus' body over you, yet all you thought about was Severus. How could you refrain from pushing Remus off and running like bloody hell out of the room?___

_ Because you needed to know, that's why. You needed to know if you really love Severus. Now you know; you're laying her **screaming** at yourself and sobbing as hard as you ever have, wishing with all your might you had a time turner. You're sitting here wishing everything would be all right, wishing even Remus wasn't born. If Remus wasn't born, you'd still be with Severus. He'd be lying next to you right now, holding you as you talked to him and tried to tell him your feelings. He'd be loving you right now instead of loathing you.___

_ How could you do something like that? You **LOVE** Severus… It's not a phase, from the moment you **f-cking laid eyes on him** you knew you were going to spend the rest of your **f-cking** life with him. Always. **Forever**. Never apart, even in death. You just f-cked up your chances, he's **never** going to talk to you again, **never** going to listen to you, **never** going to think of you, **never** going to touch you, **never** going to kiss you, **never** going to lay next to you and tell you everything's going to be all right.___

_ You hurt him as much as James hurt you. You hurt him **more** than James hurt you. He's so hurt he didn't even bother asking you why; he didn't even want to look at your pathetic face, in fear some of your rottenness would somehow seep into his own mind.___

_ **Listen to him**; he's even blocked you out from being able to hear his thoughts. It's echoes, all echoes. You can still feel him though; torture yourself, you **deserve** it. You can feel the hollowness and emptiness he's feeling, you can feel the pain. You can feel the betrayal; you can feel the absolute surge of… something. What is that? Hate? No, it's not hate… It's as if… pity, almost… but not quite. Loneliness? Yes, perhaps. He **hates** you, he's just hiding it well.___

_ God I wish I could talk to him… God **damn** everything. Why did this have to happen? I wasn't in my right state of mind. I needed to know… I **love** him, God do I ever love him… He's never going to forgive me. **Never**. He's much too perfect to take scum like you back, especially after what you did… He won't **understand** that it meant nothing, because I'll be damned if it didn't look like nothing. The **look** on his face… God, it was as if he had died. I felt him; I could feel his heart die when he saw Remus in your spot…___

_ **Your** spot. You were in his spot… No one could ever take his place, **ever**. He's irreplaceable, and you just threw it out the window. Stupid girl… **Stupid**, stupid, **stupid**, stupid, **stupid**, stupid –___

_ God damn it Lily, if you call yourself stupid one more time, I'll promise you I'll never come back._

There was a pause before Lily responded. 

_Severus?___

_ Yes.___

_ Oh God, Sev –___

_ Save it, Lily. I just heard everything.___

_ I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry, I swear Remus means nothing – it was a mistake, a total act of stupidity, I didn't mean –___

_ That still doesn't make up for what you did. I trusted you Lily… you knew that if you had a problem with me being away, I would have quit. You **knew** that.___

_ But – but you love teaching, and I didn't think –___

_ Yes, you definitely didn't think.___

_ Severus, I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, it just –___

_ How long as this relationship with Remus been going on?___

_ It was the first time, Severus, the first and only time, you have to believe me –___

_ Why though?___

_ I don't know why, I just… I … I don't know. I can't explain it.___

_ You could show me.___

_ But… Are you sure? I can't right now though… I – I can barely sit up, I don't know…___

_ Later, then, once we've both cooled down.___

_ Ok, Sev – God, I'm **so** sorry.___

_ Get some rest. If I feel the need to, I'll come home tomorrow to talk to you. I need to know why, Lil.___

_ I'll tell you – I'll show you. I'll do anything, just please come home.___

_ I'll try, Lily.___

_ Ok, thank you… Bye Sev, I love you so, so, so much…_

Severus didn't reply. Instead, he allowed his mind to slip into a dreamless state of slumber, Lily's voice still echoing in his head.   



	63. Live It Out

snape63 Everyone: This story is now 100 pages (well, 101) long. Microsoft Word, 10 Times New Roman. Wow.   
This took me literally the whole day to write... I deleted parts, I rewrote it, and it took me about fifteen minutes a line, rethinking everything. Jeez... It's just a chapter, right? Wonder if any of you guys are as obsessed with reading this story as I am with writing it... It'll pass, though, once I finish.   
Aimee   


Severus stood in front of the gate to his home, his mind whirling in anticipation. Should he? Should he leave? Should he stay? Should he just wait for her to find him? Should he go up to her and hug her and tell her everything was all right, like he wanted to? 

No, he couldn't, because it wasn't all right. She had done something that had the potential to completely destroy their relationship, she didn't deserve being forgiven. 

This quickly, at least. 

Why didn't he see it coming? Why wasn't he there? He should have been there. He should have been there for Lily, so nothing like this would have ever happened. 

Yet Lily should have told him. She could have talked to him, told him how she felt, but she didn't. Was she too afraid, or simply too cowardly? Whose fault was it; his or hers? 

Hers, of course. But why didn't he see it? He should have… They had six children, he could spend time with each and every one of them, but the nights belonged to his wife. The nights where all they had to concentrate on were each other… God, how could she have done that? Didn't she understand how much she meant to him? 

There was no question in his mind; he loved her more than anything, including all of their children combined. He would have eagerly volunteered himself to a life of the Unforgivable Curses if it meant she was happy. 

She wasn't happy now; Severus could feel it. She felt empty, drained, lifeless almost. Had him leaving caused this? Had he hurt his wife more than she had hurt him? 

No, she had hurt herself. He wouldn't have left if it hadn't been for her. He knew she would give up on life if he didn't return; what was it? Return and swallow his pride, forgive her for something she didn't deserve forgiving for, or leave. Leave her, leave the children, leave his whole life behind. Let her slowly wither away into nothing, let the flower she was die. 

For that's what she was; a flower. Severus was her sunlight, he was what made her thrive. The connection between them was too powerful for even them to understand. There was something almost… magical about their relationship, as if they were both subjected to Love Potions. There was no question that Severus loved her; the question was if she loved him as much as he loved her. 

He knew the answer. She did; one moment of weakness wasn't nearly enough to destroy nearly twenty years worth of love. 

Had it truly been that long? It seemed like just yesterday he saw her for the first time. He didn't love her then; how could he? He felt desire, yes, perhaps lust, but true love wasn't there until the first time they slept together. From then on, he knew he was just as much a part of her as she was a part of him. They were whole together; apart, there was no reason for them to exist. Hollow, shapeless beings completely engulfed with their mate. He constantly tortured himself with the thought if he hadn't been there that night; if she hadn't come down and saved herself from Voldemort. It was all a distant memory, but the thought of her body lying on the ground haunted him day and night. What if? 

He sucked in his breath and slowly opened the gate of the Snape Mansion, stepping inside carefully. The rocky pathway leading to the large French doors seemed miles away, yet the moment he took his first step, he seemed to be halfway there. 

To him, it was the Green Mile; a sentence too horrible to imagine awaited him once he reached the front doors, but once they had passed, his destiny was uncertain. 

One more step… Two… Three… he was there. He knocked once, and almost immediately the doors swung open, revealing a dingy looking house elf. 

"Sir, Madam is in the Master bedroom. She wishes for me to inform you it has been properly cleaned and you are to meet her up there." The elf squeaked. Severus nodded in reply and thanked the small creature. 

The Grand Staircase – another hurtle he had to overcome. Why was Lily making this so difficult for him? 

_ Because I can't get out of bed, Severus._

He smirked. She had been listening after all. He slowly made his way up the thirty or so steps, stopping when he reached the landing. 

_ And why is it so impossible for you to move?_

He walked down the hallway, forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other. 

_ It hurts too much._

Almost instantly, a wave of pain swept over him like he had never experienced; this was worse than the Cruciatus Curse, even. How had she done this to herself? He fell to his knees, clutching his head. 

_ Lily… stop it…_

Suddenly, the pain let up. Severus sighed and stood up once more, making his way to the end of the hallway, where the Master Bedroom was located. He turned the handle slowly, not knowing what to expect. 

She saw her lying there on their bed, her knees drawn up to her chest. The pain immediately shot through Severus' spine, and he barely made it to a close-by armchair. 

"Lily, stop it." He hissed, leaning over slightly. 

_ I can't…_

He looked up at her and raised his wand. Muttering a few choice words, the pain vanished. She sat up, her eyes avoiding his hawk-like stare. 

"I thought you loved me." 

She wasn't one to cry easily; however, for the past twenty four hours, it seemed like that was all she had been doing. Tears started streaming down her face once more and she feebly attempted to wipe them away with the back of her hand. 

"I do… More than anything… Remus meant nothing, I don't even know why it happened. It was just sex; there was no emotion behind it, just flesh. I swear, all I was thinking about was you." She said softly, turning her green eyes up towards Severus' black ones. 

"Why were you in so much pain?" Severus' voice had softened a bit, and he slowly stood up, taking a step towards the bed. 

"He hurt me." Lily whispered, "I hurt myself." 

"How did he hurt you?" he said quietly, as if speaking to a child. 

She shook her head, "I can't say it without sounding dirty." 

He nodded, understanding. "Lily, did you want it?" 

She shook her head, "I didn't know what I wanted, Severus." 

He nodded once more, sitting next to her. "Show me." 

She looked up at me once more, her tear-stained cheeks turning red. "You'd get it from my point of – contact, Severus." 

"Well, you experience different things each day." he shrugged. "Now show me." 

Before Severus had time to move away, she leaned over and kissed him. Immediately, the scene that had occurred less than a day ago flashed through Severus' mind, her emotions – or lack thereof – filling his soul, the pain she had experienced branching out through his body, sweeping over his mind to the very tips of his fingers. He could feel exactly what she had gone through, as unwelcomed as the feeling was. 

He opened his eyes briefly before returning the kiss – this time, however, he fed his emotions, his feelings, his thoughts into her body and soul. He could feel her shuddering beneath him as he refused to break contact. However, after a minute of this, she finally backed away. 

"Lily, you made him do it." Severus said quietly. 

She looked at his, confused. "What?" 

"Your mind – " he started, " – you can control minds, just as I can." 

She looks bewildered, "But how?" 

"You did it unconsciously," he said, "without realizing you were even doing so." 

She sighed, "Sev, God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen… Don't blame Remus, you know it was my fault." 

Severus shook his head, "It was my fault in the first place – I gave you the power to make someone do exactly as you pleased." 

"It's my fault for wanting it." She whispered, "Even though I don't know why I did, nor even recognized the fact I did. I still can't believe I wanted something as horrendous as that." 

"It still happened, whether you wanted it or not." Severus said quietly, "Do you swear to me you will never do anything like that again? Ever?" 

The tears once again started flowing. "Yes, God yes… I swear on my life I'll never even think about doing anything that would make you hurt as much as that… God, I'm so, so sorry." 

Severus paused, afraid to touch her. "I'm resigning as Potions Master at the end of the term. The thought of it driving you to do something like that – it's simply not worth it." 

She smiled feebly, "Thank you, Sev." 

"You're welcome." He gave her a half-smile, still not daring to touch her. "Are you going to be ok?" 

"In time," she shrugged. "In a matter of a moment, guilt became my best friend, and he's bent on not leaving me." 

Severus shook his head, "Guilt chooses the most worthy candidates, Lily. Live it out." 

She nodded, sighing. "I wish there was a way I could make it up to you…" 

"There is." Severus said softly, "But until I find what it is, just make sure the kids never find out." 

She nodded, "They never will." 

_ Promise?_

"Promise."   
  
  


_'Til my body is dust_   
_'Til my soul is no more_   
_I will love you, love you_   
_'Til the sun starts to cry_   
_And the moon turns to rust_   
_I will love you, love you_

_But I need to know - will you_   
_Stay for all time..._   
_Forever and a day_   
_Then I'll give my heart 'til the_   
_End of all time..._   
_Forever and a day_

_'Til my body is dust_   
_'Til my soul is no more_   
_I will love you, love you_   
_'Til the sun starts to cry_   
_And the moon turns to rust_   
_I will love you, love you_

_But I need to know - will you_   
_Stay for all time..._   
_Forever and a day_   
_Then I'll give my heart 'til the_   
_End of all time..._   
_Forever and a day_

_'Til the storms fill my eyes_   
_And we touch the last time_   
_I will love you, love you...*_

_*Fisher, I Will Love You (have I already used this one? I know I had the lyrics bookmarked...)_   



	64. What's Forever If You're Gone?

snape64 *Throws her head back and laughs* First you guys hate the first ending with a passion, I receive numerous death threats... Now, all of you guys are saying how much you like the first one better. Ironic, isn't it? :o) Mrs. Weasley's in Billy Elliot (as the dancing teacher)... yay! It's a great movie. Get it. Now. Thank you and have a nice day... Wait. I start Driver's Ed tomorrow, so if any of you guys live in the Mid Western United States, I reccommend you stay off the road for the next 4 weeks.   
Aimee   


I didn't bother going back to Hogwarts that night. I stayed with Lily and the children, persuading her to come down and join s for dinner. There were multiple questions as to where I had disappeared to and why, but we both swiftly dodged them with such ease we amazed even ourselves. I didn't dare meet Harry's eyes; he knew, I was sure of it. His room was next to ours, and one of the curses of the Snape Mansion was paper-thin walls. 

I cornered him later that evening in a part of the house reserved for studies. I had my own lab and study located there, along with a room Lily lovingly referred to as the Thinking Room. Adorned with plush armchairs and sofas, with books lining the walls, I saw Harry sitting in the one nearest the roaring fireplace. 

"Harry?" I asked, walking in slowly. He looked up over the rim of his glasses, not caring to move his head. 

"Yes, Father?" he asked. 

I paused, sitting down in the armchair next to him, watching the flames crackle. "You know." 

It was more a statement than a question. "Yes." 

I nodded, "Your mother and I wish to keep it private." 

He nodded, eyes still on the fire. "Why did you take her back so easily?" 

"Love is a peculiar thing, Harry." I sighed, "What your mother and I have is irreplaceable. One moment of undesired mind controlling, if you'd wish to call it that, is not about to ruin seventeen years of marriage." 

"But she still cheated on you." Harry said, "With Remus, in fact." 

I shook my head, "He didn't have a choice in the matter; I don't blame him in the slightest. Your mother had no idea what she was doing. It was a mistake. A large one, yes, but a mistake." 

"How could you forgive her so quickly?" his voice was nearly inaudible. 

"I didn't have a choice." I said, "It was either forgive her or watch her wither away and die." 

He looked up at me once more, "Surely she wouldn't have died? Be in great distress, perhaps, but never die." 

I shook my head once more, "You're far too young to understand it, Harry. I am telling you this because you need to understand what happened." 

He nodded, "Go on." 

"What your mother and I have is a bond that has survived so many things. Over the course of nearly twenty years, we've have seven children together - " 

"Seven?" he asked, slightly confused. 

"Yes, seven. In our seventh year, your mother was pregnant with my daughter. Voldemort killed her, however, leading to our marriage and false break up." 

"Oh." Harry said, his eyes now downcast. "I didn't know, sorry." 

I smiled, "It's all right. Very few people know." 

Harry nodded, "I won't tell anyone." 

"Thank you." I said, continuing. "I can't expect you to understand completely why, but your mother and I… We were terribly lucky to find each other. We've endured so many hardships, from James Potter to Voldemort to now, Remus Lupin… It wasn't his fault, not at all. James Potter… his marriage to your mother nearly killed both her and I. Me mentally, her physically. I hated that man… I hated him with a passion. Even now, the very sound of his name makes rage pulse through my body. But then I think, how could someone so evil make a child as wonderful as you? It was destiny; it had to be." 

I paused for a moment, gazing into the fire. "Spying for your grandfather was hard; it made me lie and betray many people that trusted me. However, your mother helped me through it. And then, when James died… She was in shock, due to the fact she was as close to Death as she could ever be, yet she survived, as did you. It was my turn to help her through that and each one of the pregnancies. And now, with Remus – she couldn't consciously control it and Remus couldn't help himself. I don't blame either one of them. Therefore, there is nothing for me to forgive them for." 

Harry shook his head, obviously disagreeing with me. "She slept with another man! How could you just brush it aside like that?" 

"I am well aware of the fact she slept with Remus." I snapped a bit harsher than I had wanted to, "And I am not brushing it aside. I am merely trying to find the reason, the way to the road of recovery. Me leaving isn't going to help the situation; it'll only make it worse." 

"Still…" Harry started, "She acted like a completely different person, like a slut almost." 

I stood up and faced Harry, trying to control my temper. "Don't you ever speak that way about your mother – ever. To your fourteen year old male mind, sex seems like something dirty. To you, it's not about emotion; it's about the physical feeling and act of. However, to myself, sex isn't about the action or physical feeling; it's about the emotion. Your mother showed me her events of yesterday, and I know she felt nothing behind the need. There was no love, no lust, no liking behind it; just the mental need to know she could do something like that, something where she had control. It was unfortunate Remus was the one to see her in that state; however, they are best friends and I am sure they will get over it. It was out of both of their control, so don't you blame either of them for it." 

Harry nodded as I sank back into my chair. "What are you going to do if you ever run into him?" 

"Remus?" I asked, "I'll try to act as if nothing has happened. If he insists on bringing the subject up, then I'll let it be known that I don't blame him." 

The silence between us was deafening. I finally got up and bid Harry goodnight, walking through the mansion and into the Master Bedroom, where Lily was starring up at the ceiling. 

"Hello." I said quietly, opening the wardrobe and looking for my robe. Finding it, I set it on a hanger on the wall next to it. "What are you doing?" 

"Watching the shadows." She said. I looked up and smiled slightly; the shadows from the candles that surrounded the room were flickering, making the shadows dance across the ceiling and walls. 

I changed and slipped my robe on, then stood next to my side of the bed. "Would you like me to sleep here or on one of the sofas?" I glanced around at the three sofas in the room. 

She shook her head, "No, no… Here." 

She patted the space next to her, scooting over as close to the edge as possible. I sat down and raised my eyebrows. 

"You don't have to go all the way over there, Lily." 

She shrugged, "Are you sure?" 

I smirked, "Is this really that uncomfortable for you now?" 

She shook her head, "No, I just… don't want to make you feel bad or anything." 

"Lily, all I want to do right now is lay as close to you as possible and know you're mine." 

She smiled a bit, scooting over towards the middle. "Is that better?" 

I laid down and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "Yes, much." 

"We're gonna get through this, right?" she whispered as the candles were blown out. 

"Yes, Lily, we're going to get through this." I said, "There's not a doubt in my mind we will." 

"I'm sorry, Sev." 

I smiled in spite of my self, "Yes, baby, I know that." 

_ Thanks, Sev._

_ You're welcome, baby. Just never do that again._

_ Oh God, I'd rather maim Dakota before doing... that again._

_ Good to know, Lil, that our children are safe._

She laughed, "They are… I don't think I'll ever see Remus again, though." 

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you," I said. "I'm going to have a little chat with him." 

Her eyes widened, "Sev…" 

I shook my head, "No, I'm going to tell him that if he refuses to talk to you, I'll make him wish he were dead. Also, that I don't blame him in the least. You know that." 

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks." 

I laughed, "And for the second time, you're welcome."   


_Why, why, why_   
_Oh ooh ohh_   
_There you are, in a darkened room_   
_And you're all alone, looking out the window_   
_Your heart is cold and lost the will to love_   
_Like a broken arrow_   
_Here I stand in the shadows_   
_(In the shadows)_   
_Come to come, come to me_   
_Can't you see that?___

_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_Nobody wants to cry_   
_My body's longing to hold you_   
_So bad it hurts inside_   
_Time is precious and it's slipping away_   
_And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)_   
_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_So why (why), why don't you let me love you_   
_Why (ooh ohh yeah), why (oh why), why___

_Ooh ooh, yeah_   
_Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song_   
_It's a serenade, so your heart can find me, ohh_   
_And suddenly you're flying down the stairs_   
_Into my arms, baby, ohh___

_Before I start going crazy_   
_(Going crazy, ohh)_   
_Run to me_   
_Run to me_   
_Cause I'm dying...___

_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_Nobody wants to cry (don't wanna cry)_   
_My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)_   
_So bad it hurts inside_   
_Time is precious and it's slipping away_   
_And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)_   
_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_So why___

_Why, why don't you let me love you?_   
_I want to feel you need me_   
_(Feel you need me)_   
_Just like the air you're breathing_   
_(Breathing)_   
_ I need you here in my life_   
_Don't walk away, don't walk away_   
_Don't walk away, don't walk away_   
_No, no, no, no..._   
_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_Nobody wants to cry... yeah yeah_   
_Nobody wants to be lonely (yeah ohh ooh)_   
_Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry)_   
_My body's longing to hold you (is longing to hold you)_   
_So bad it hurts inside (hurts inside)_   
_Time is precious and it's slipping away_   
_And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh___

_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_So why (why), why don't you let me love you_   
_Let me love you..._   
_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry...)_   
_My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)_   
_So bad it hurts inside (so hurt inside)_   
_Time is precious and it's slipping away_   
_And I've been waiting for you all of my life___

_Nobody wants to be lonely_   
_So why (why), why don't you let me love you_   
_Why (why), let me love you_   
_Why, love you, let me love you*___

_*Ricky Martin/Christina Aguilera, Nobody Wants To Be Lonely_   



	65. Bridge Of Stone (Behold, Fireworks)

snape65 Enter Plot. Or... well... slight plot... eh. Kind of. Leads up to other things. A lot of other things. Would you believe I've had less time to write now (when school's out) than when school was in? Go figure. Please forgive me if you think it's overkill... It's gonna be very different, I can promise you that. Thank you Gurl and Seeker for helping me with this... EEEEEEEEK.   
Aimee   


Severus was gone, once again. Left for Hogwarts… We talk periodically, yes, but I haven't visited him yet. Too afraid. We haven't slept together since he caught Remus and I – together… That one time still haunts my mind. It's like a picture that follows me constantly, and what's worse is I can still feel him. He's all around me, like a hated obsession. I don't think Severus realized how much I needed him. His touch, the feeling of his skin on mine, anything to get rid of Remus. 

I felt like territory, almost. Scarred and marked until the next settler comes along and plows his field. I needed to feel as if I belonged to Severus, and until I could feel him under my skin, I was Remus's. 

I finally worked up the courage to visit him on January 24th, the anniversary of our last night as a married couple. He was once again grading papers as I whispered the password to the portrait and climbed inside. He was in his bathrobe and his hair was wet and pulled into a tight ponytail, and he was hunched over his desk, talking to himself. 

He assumed I was either Harry or Dumbledore, as he straightened up a bit but didn't bother to turn around. 

"I'll be right with you." He said, "Just checking the Fifth Year exams." 

I sat down on the bed, his back facing me. I then started to unbutton my robes, leaving the black shirt underneath completely revealed. I allowed the robe to slide down to the floor. I took off my shoes quietly, setting them next to the bed. I then walked to the opposite corner of the room to grab a robe that was hanging from a peg near the door, and quickly slid out of my jeans and shirt and into the robe. I smirked as I crawled silently back on to the bed, curling up and closing my eyes. 

"Ethan, if that's you, go back to your dormitories. Your mother would have a fit if she knew about you sneaking in here all the time." Severus said quietly, still not looking up. 

I didn't say a word, I only waited for him to make his move. I propped myself up on my elbows, a smile dancing across my face. A few minutes, he leaned back and sighed. 

"You're making me extremely uncomfortable." 

I smirked, "Really? My complete apologizes." 

He whirled around then, his mouth slightly agape. I smiled, sitting up. 

"I would have just undressed completely, but what would be the fun in that?" 

His expression slowly changed from that of shock to one of humor. "Well, I'm watching now." 

I shook my head, "Oh no, gentlemen first." 

He grinned and made his way through the pile of clothing to the bed. "To what do I owe this honor?" 

I crawled forward, my face level with his as he knelt next to the bed. "I missed you. Isn't a girl allowed to miss her husband?" 

"Of course." He kissed my forehead, "However, I'm quite sure I missed you more." 

I shook my head, "Impossible." 

He kissed me once again, "So were you really just lonely or did you miss me?" 

"You know I missed you." I kissed him back, happiness filling me. "But it's lonely there without you, too." 

"You have the kids to keep you company." 

I smirked, "Them? They're cute, but after the usual five tantrums before ten in the morning, they get quite tiring." 

"But you love them." 

"In a way only a mother could." I pulled on his robe lightly, scooting over to make room for him. 

"Harry and Ethan have complete access to this room." Severus warned, "They could walk in at any time." 

I reached over for my wand, flicking it lightly towards the door. "Not anymore." 

He grinned devilishly, "And what, pray tell, did you just do?" 

"Lock charm" I said, "Easily countered." 

"Well counter this…" he slid down next to me, kissing my neck. 

_ I missed you, baby._

_ I missed you far more than I could ever tell you, Sev._

_ Yet it's been less than a month._

_ A month can be forever._

_ Then forevers come and go?_

_ Not the one we have, Sev._

_ I thought so._   
  


Severus awoke to an empty bed the next morning; I made sure of it. I cringed as I wrote my feelings down, what had happened that I was too terrified to tell him about. What I knew. 

He would awake to the hollow spot where I had lain only a few hours before. He would wonder where I was; he always did if I woke up before him. Then, he would find the note and read it. He would read it with anticipation at first, then slowly dread would start to creep in – or perhaps happiness? He would sigh and set it down once he was finished, then try to talk to me. I wasn't going to listen though… 

What I didn't know is how he reacted. Even from a distance, I could feel the rage boiling inside him, threatening to overspill. I could feel the pain in his chest, I could hear the thoughts in his head as they ran through mine… But I never responded.   
  


Severus did indeed wake up to an empty bed, but before he could wonder where she was, he saw the note – a piece of parchment glistening with black ink that had come from his own quills. He picked it up carefully, rubbing his eyes before he started reading. 

_Dear Sev,_

_ Don't be mad that I left you this morning before waking you up; I didn't want to have to see your reaction when you realized you've taken me back. Thank you._

_ When the –situation– with Remus occurred, I felt dirtier than James ever made me feel – ever. I wanted to burn myself just to get rid of the filth I was. The pain was immense; I made him a bit too vicious, I believe. It was my fault; I know it and I'll never forget it._

_ When I'm with you, you make everything disappear. Everything that's bothering me, everything I feel is a problem or a burden, disappears. The world around us dissolves, and all that's left is you and me. You complete me, Severus. Without you, I wouldn't exist. You are my everything; my world, the father to my children including Harry, the one person in the world I feel as if I can trust… I love you._

_ What I came here last night to tell you was this; I'm pregnant. Papa confirmed it before I visited you. I asked him who the father was… I'm sorry Sev, but he refused to tell me. He said I had gotten myself into this mess and it wasn't his duty to get me out of it. I made him swear he'll tell me though… Perhaps it won't come to that. Perhaps the baby's features will tell us… God Sev, I'm so, so sorry. Even as I write this, I'm crying. I won't expect you to take in this child if we know it's Remus'. That's asking far too much of you… If you wish, I could give it up. I will, if it means you staying with me. Please, don't be mad… I wish with all my heart it's yours, but if it comes to that… I swear, I'd rather have it drowned than you leaving me._

_ There is far more of a chance this baby's yours, just of the timing and such, but I wanted to make you aware of the possibility it might not be. Please… Don't be mad._

_ I love you,_   
_ Lily_   


Rage surged through Severus' body as he dropped the note, his hands trembling too much for him to grip the piece of parchment. He turned to the nearest thing – a wooden chair – and with one swift movement, turned it into a pile of splinters.   
  
  
__

_You can only push someone so far_   
_You can only break so many hearts_   
_We used to be love one another_   
_Now it's lust for your lover_   
_Baby, I was trying to burn bridges of stone___

_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_In this game we play, can't tell right from wrong_   
_You can only wait so long___

_Here come the memories of yesterday_   
_Here's the poetry, of all those things I couldn't even say_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_Before your flower petals are all gone_   
_Baby, I was trying to burn bridges of stone_   
_Ain't nobody crying for what used to be home___

_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_In this game we play, can't tell right from wrong_   
_You can only wait so long___

_Why couldn't you hold on to me?_   
_I was right here, layin' in our bed_   
_Said,_   
_Walked in on the pain I didn't see_   
_All those things I never should of said___

_You can only push someone so far_   
_You can only break so many hearts_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_Before your flower petals are all gone_   
_Baby, I was trying to burn bridges of stone._   
_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_In this game we play, can't tell right from wrong_   
_You can only wait so long___

_Why couldn't you call out for me?_   
_It's not like I was ever far away_   
_Said,_   
_Tie me to the edge and start to leave_   
_There's nothing left here_   
_But a million words to say_   
_We all have memories_   
_And I have spent my time in vain_   
_Here's to our enemies_   
_And I will leave you with no pain_   
_We will find a way somehow_   
_In this running just to know goodbye_   
_Baby, I was trying to burn bridges of stone_   
_You won't find me crying for what used to be home___

_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_You can only wait_   
_You can only wait so long_   
_In this game we play, can't tell right from wrong_   
_You can only wait so long___

_In this game we play_   
_We can't tell right from wrong_   
_Cause you can only wait so long_   
_In this game we play_   
_We can't tell right from wrong_   
_Cause you can only wait so long*___

_*Hanson, Bridge Of Stone_


	66. All It Takes

snape66 Once again, this was an all-dayer. I had my first Driver's Ed class today... Woohoo! If you know what's good for you, stay off the roads on Wednesday and Friday, cuz those are my first two driving hour days... things... yeah. I think you guys might like this chapter. Tell me what you think, if you want. :o)   
Aimee   


The next day – Saturday – Severus went back to the Snape mansion at sunrise, fully prepared to face Lily. As he walked through the doors, however, and saw her sitting on the bottom step, surrounded by house elves, he nearly broke down himself. 

With one fleeting glance at their Master, the house elves disappeared, leaving Lily in Severus' care. One look at her told him all he needed to know. 

"Didn't make it to the toilet in time?" he inquired. She nodded miserably, her hands trembling slightly. 

_ He's going to kill me… God, I'm going to die…_

"You've been with me nearly twice as long as James now; you should know I'd never touch you." Severus said quietly, glancing around for any children.   
  
"They're in bed." Her voice was hoarse. Severus felt a stab of guilt; he usually helped her when morning sickness kicked in. 

She started to get up, but then almost immediately fell back down on the steps. She sighed, holding her head in her hands. 

"Damn headache." 

Severus chuckled a bit, and then walked over to her and easily picked her up. "You've lost weight." 

He started up the stairs, Lily's head up against his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. 

"For losing weight?" 

"That too." 

Severus shook his head as they reached the landing, "Really, dear. You need to eat." 

"Not hungry. I'll throw it up anyway." Lily mumbled into his shoulder. Severus opened the door with much difficulty and set Lily on the bed. He pulled the covers over her, forgetting for a moment why he was there. 

"Are you going to be ok?" 

She shook her head, "No." 

"Why not, love?" Severus asked, sitting down on the bed next to her curled form. 

"I can't believe you're still calling me love, after all I've put you through." She sighed, "I don't deserve it." 

"Lily, what is the one thing I have been telling you for the past seventeen years?" 

"That you'll never be mad at me…" she sniffed, "That's impossible. I'm too flawed." 

Severus shook his head, "You didn't ask to become pregnant." 

Lily looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "You didn't ask for this either. It's my fault." 

"Yes, it is your fault." Severus nodded, "But not to the point where you beat yourself up over it." 

A small sob escaped from Lily's throat, "What if… what if Remus…" 

"If it's Remus's baby, then I don't know what's going to happen. I know he or she will be your child… But he'll be a constant reminder." 

Lily shook her head, "I need to see Remus… I need to tell him." 

"Why, though?" Severus asked softly, "He'd be better off not knowing." 

"If I give birth to a brown haired, blue eyed child, he'll need to know." Lily whispered. "The one hair and eye color we've failed to produce." 

Severus shook his head, "I wish you wouldn't." 

"I have to." Lily said, her face half-buried into the pillow. 

Severus sighed, "Do you want me to come with you?" 

Lily shook her head into the pillow, "No, I think it's best I do this alone. I don't know how Remus feels towards you, or how you'd react – no offense – towards him." 

"None taken." Severus said quietly. "If you need any help – I'll be listening." 

Lily nodded, "Thank you."   
  


All it took was one tiny mistake. 

Lily contemplated what she was going to say to Remus all that day; she had decided to visit him after supper, leaving the children in the house elves' care. 

She Apparated to his tiny home in the country near London, hesitating slightly before knocking. The door flew open almost immediately, revealing a rather nervous looking Sirius Black. 

"Lily?" he asked, squinting a bit. 

"Sirius Black?" she asked, a smile spreading across her face. "No way." 

"Is that really you?" Sirius asked. 

"Yes… Good Lord, you've grown." Lily grinned. "Why are you at Remus' house?" 

The nervous expression Sirius had a moment before returned. "You shouldn't be here." 

Lily looked behind her, to where Sirius' eyes had focused. "Why not?" 

He smiled slightly, opening the door and allowing her to enter. He closed the door behind them with a fleeting glance towards the moon-bathed country side extending out from all sides of the cottage. 

"Where's Remus?" she asked, glancing around the house. "He's not away, is he?" 

Sirius sighed, "You've forgotten?" 

Lily shook her head, "Forgotten what?" 

"Look outside, Lily. Look at the sky." Sirius ushered her towards a window. Her eyes widened as she gazed up towards the heavens. 

"God… The full moon. I forgot to check the lunar chart." 

Sirius shook his head, "What did you want to talk to Remus about?" 

"Nothing." Lily said a bit too quickly. 

"Lily…" he warned. "You could tell me right now, or Remus could tell me later." 

"Don't you have a job somewhere?" Lily asked, praying for Sirius to drop the subject. 

"It's Saturday night. Remus is going to be back at daybreak, and I wanted to make sure he was ok." 

Lily nodded, "Ok." 

"Now, for the second and last time, why do you want to get a hold of Remus so badly you forget about the full moon?"   
  
Lily shook her head, avoiding eye contact with Sirius. "No reason, I just wanted to catch up." 

Sirius scowled, "Lily, tell me." 

Lily finally looked up at him. "You wouldn't understand, Sirius." 

"What wouldn't I understand?" Sirius asked quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder.   
  
"Please… don't touch me." Lily said softly. "Last time anyone touched me, it ended up disaster." 

Sirius' face suddenly broke out into an expression of realization. "Ahh… So that's what you wanted to talk to Remus about." 

Lily closed her eyes for a moment. "Did he tell you?" 

"I forced it out of him." Sirius answered. "He didn't want to tell me." 

"I just wanted to make sure he was ok." Lily lied, "I haven't seen him since then… and I just… I don't know." 

Sirius nodded, "Do you think you could come back tomorrow, later in the evening? I'm sure Remus would be happy to see you." 

Lily nodded, "Of course." 

Sirius paused before gathering her up in a hug. "Don't you ever stay away from me that long again, you hear?" 

Lily grinned, melting into his embrace. "It's just as much your fault as it is mine, Sirius." 

He smiled, ruffling her hair. "How many kids do you have now?" 

"Six." Lily beamed. "Harry, Ethan, Kaylee, Dea, Drake, and Star." 

"Good God…" Sirius shook his head in a disbelieving manor. "And here I was thinking you were kidding about having as many children as possible." 

"Believe me, I wasn't." Lily grimaced, touching her stomach in a discreet manor. 

"Well… I guess I'll be seeing you soon then, yes?" Sirius asked, walking towards the door. 

"I guess so." Lily smiled. "Thanks again, Sirius." 

"You're welcome, Lily." Sirius opened the door and Lily took a step out. Before either her or Sirius had time to react, something pounced on her with such force it threw her to the ground. 

Lily felt multiple sharp teeth cut into her flesh as she screamed, not so much from the pain but from the terror of being attacked. In a moment's time, Sirius had turned into a large black dog and had jumped on the creature, biting it's neck and dragging it off of Lily. 

Looking down at her right arm, Lily nearly fainted. Even in the dark she could tell her arm was mutilated; blood was seeping through gashed that went to the bone, and she couldn't move her fingers. 

The pain took a second to set in, but when it did, Lily screamed. White-hot pains infested her arm, shooting through her body and up her spine. Before she blacked out, she could see Sirius' face looming above hers. His mouth was moving, but her vision was far too blurred to make out the words.   



	67. Still

snape67 Wow... the last chapter definitely got a good response. No one has asked me to make the baby Severus's... Wonder why that is? For once in my life, the ending's all planned out, so I actually know who the father. *claps her hands happily* Enjoy.   
Aimee   


Sirius looked at Lily's bloody body back to the unconscious werewolf lying at his feet. In a moment's time, he scooped her up and slammed the door behind him. Muttering a few words, the world around them dissolved and he was standing in a corridor made of marble with stairs ascending up to the balcony of the second floor. 

He quickly made his way to the nearly sofa and set her down as five house elves surrounded him almost instantly. 

"SEVERUS!" he bellowed, "IF YOU'RE HERE, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" 

The house elves were tending to Lily the best they could, but the moment Severus appeared they scattered. He stepped forward, his eyes blazing as he viewed Lily for the first time. 

"What the bloody hell happened?" he hissed, rushing to her side to inspect her arm. 

"Remus bit her." Sirius said, his voice wobbling a bit. "We didn't have time to react, he just – " 

"F-ck, it's the full moon, isn't it?" Severus groaned. "Damn it… Jubby, get me some bandages from the cabinets, and some of my healing potion." 

The house elf he addressed disappeared with a crack, and Severus stretched out her arm, wincing as he saw the gashes and raw flesh. 

"He got her good…" he said quietly, "Damnit, God f-cking damnit." 

"I'm sorry." Sirius said, "I tried to pull him off of her in time, but – " 

"Why did you let this happen?" Severus hissed, "Didn't you know the consequences?" 

"Yes, of course, I pulled her into the house as soon –" 

"Fool." Severus cut off. "God damnit, Sirius. She's f-cking pregnant." 

Sirius's eyes widened. "Pardon?" 

"You heard me." Severus said, his eyes darting over her wounds. "She's pregnant." 

"How – " Sirius paused, "What?" 

Severus then turned towards the trembling man. "Go back to Remus. Once dawn comes, bring him here." 

Sirius nodded, "Yes… Shall I inform Dumbledore?" 

"He should know, yes." Severus nodded, "But go." 

With one last look at Lily, Sirius opened the double French oak doors and walked past the fence, Apparating back to Remus. Severus turned his attention back towards Lily and the bandages the house elf had brought. 

He took a cloth and drenched it with Healing Solution, then dabbed it lightly over Lily's arm, watching the gazes and cuts heal before him. Once the process was over, he wrapped the limp limb in gauze soaked in another solution, to prevent scarring. Shaking his head, he then carried her back up to the Master Bedroom after instructing the house elves to clean up the blood. 

He set her on the bed and pulled the blankets over her, then moved to the children's rooms, making sure they were soundly asleep. Once done, he went back to sit next to Lily's sleeping form, several half-thoughts crossing his mind, playing what if, and on several occasions, what he was going to do when he saw Remus. 

He knew damn well it wasn't Remus's fault, but the need to put the blame on someone was far too great. Now, once a month, he would be here, taking care of the wolf that had overtaken his wife's body. The potion he had made Remus while he was still a teacher – Wolfsbane Potion – would be needed. He finally closed his eyes and fell into a troubled sleep, his dreams awaking him nearly every hour until dawn. 

A knocking on the door brought Severus back into the conscious world just after 8 AM. He got up to open it, where Jubby the house elf was standing. 

"Sir, a Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are here to see you." The elf bowed so low its nose was touching the ground. Severus nodded and brushed past the tiny creature, making his way down the stairs to where Remus and Sirius stood. 

Remus was leaning up against the wall, his eyes closed and face pale. Sirius, however, was pacing the foyer, his arms crossed and mumbling to himself under his breath. With one look up at Severus, he stopped and touched Remus on the arm. 

"Gentlemen." Severus nodded for them to follow him up the stairs, through the halls and to the Master Bedroom, where Lily was still sleeping. With one look at her, Remus groaned and hit his head against the wall. 

"Damn me… Damn this life… Damn it." He muttered, clenching and unclenching his hands. 

"Remus, stop that at once." Severus commanded. "That's the last thing I need right now, you killing yourself on my property." 

"So anywhere else would be fine?" Remus challenged. 

"Yes." Severus shot back. "Do you remember what happened?" 

Remus shook his head, "No, but I do remember biting someone." 

"If Sirius wasn't there, you would have killed her." Severus said quietly. "Do you agree?" 

"Yes." Remus answered, his eyes locked on Lily. "Is she ok?" 

Severus walked over to her, shaking his head, "No, she has yet to awake." 

Sirius stepped forward, "You know damn well Remus didn't mean it." 

Severus looked up at the tall, burly man. "Yes, I do know he couldn't help himself. The curse of the werewolf – a terrible thing he's just committed my wife to." 

"Not on purpose, we all know." Remus sighed, "Why am I here?" 

"Did Sirius tell you why exactly she wanted to speak with you last night?" Severus asked, trying to control his voice. 

"No, he didn't." Remus said quietly, "But I'm sure you're about to." 

"Quite right." Severus shot back, "Do you want to know or would you rather live our your existence without the burden?" 

"What burden?" Remus asked hoarsely. "What are you talking about?" 

"She's pregnant." Severus responded, looking back over at Lily. "Only Dumbledore knows who the father is, and he isn't speaking." 

Remus's mouth stood agape for quite some time before he managed to pull himself back together. "You're f-cking with me." 

Severus laughed bitterly, "I wish I was." 

Remus shook his head, "Impossible… She can't be… That… God." 

"Believe it." Severus sighed, "But you will never mention it around them. This is my child unless proved differently." 

"Is this something you and Lily agreed on?" Remus asked quietly. 

"Yes." Severus said, "You are allowed to see the child, but it will never be spoken under this roof that he or she might be yours. Is that understood?" 

"Yes." Remus said quietly. "And if the child has brown hair and blue eyes?" 

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Severus said. "However, if the child has black hair and green eyes, or red hair and black eyes… if it shares any of my traits, even a blue eyed, black haired child, it will be mine unless Dumbledore tells us otherwise. Is that quite clear?" 

"Yes." Remus said once more. "But I will be able to see it?" 

"You will be dubbed Godfather, if you want. But, this is my child." 

"Yes, I understand that." Remus said, "What about Lily?" 

"I have easy access to the Wolfsbane potion." Severus said, "She will be fine with it." 

Remus shook his head, "The pain – the torture of transforming, do you believe she can handle it?" 

Severus looked at his wife once more, his face relaxing a bit. "She's strong. If she needs it, I will give her a remedy for pain." 

Remus sighed. "From now on, she is an outcast to the rest of the wizarding world." 

"I am quite aware of that." Severus snapped. "No one will know. Only the four of us and Dumbledore. That's final." 

Both Sirius and Remus nodded this time before Severus ushered them out of the room. 

"I will have Jubby see you off. Remember, not a word." Severus said quietly, guiding them to the staircase. 

Remus turned around before Severus left to go back to Lily. "Severus, I'm sorry." 

Severus nodded, "I know you are, and trust me, I'm trying my hardest not to blame you." 

Remus nodded, "Thank you." 

Severus merely nodded, then turned back down the hall towards Lily. He sighed as he closed the door behind him, looking at his wife's sleeping form. 

"Damn it… Damn it, damn it, damn it Lily. How the bloody hell are we going to get through this one?"   
  
  
  


_In my last years with him there were bruises_   
_On my face_   
_In my dawn and new day_   
_I finally got away_   
_But my head's all messed up and he knows_   
_Just what to say_   
_No more dawn and new days_   
_I'm goin back to stay_   
_Why say bye bye_   
_When it only makes me cry_   
_I still_   
_Light up like a candle burnin when he call me up_   
_I still_   
_Melt down like a candle burnin everytime we touch_   
_Oh say what you will_   
_He does me wrong and I should be gone_   
_I still_   
_Be lovin you baby and it's much too much_

_We are goin down_   
_Cuz you're always getting high_   
_And your crumb and lovin_   
_No longer get me by_   
_Wow! It get better everytime that we get high_   
_Then your crumbs of lovin_   
_They somehow get me by_   
_Why say bye bye_   
_When it only makes me cry_   
_I still_   
_Light up like a candle burnin when he call me up_   
_I still_   
_Melt down like a candle burnin everytime we touch_   
_Oh say what you will_   
_He does me wrong and I should be gone_   
_I still_   
_Be lovin you baby and it's much too much_

_Can't I go my severed way?_   
_Some rain for my sunny day_   
_Not even one reason to say_   
_Why?_   
_I should've left you_   
_Why?_   
_I can't forgetcha baby_   
_Why?_   
_Ever since I mathca it's_   
_Why?*_

_*Macy Gray, Still_   
_(James' relationship with Lily, NOT Severus or Remus'. Only fifty or sixy chapters too late...)_   



	68. Aftermath

snape68 I am proud to say I can read this chapter outloud in a pretty good English accent (saying "damn" in English is fun! That and bloody hell.) It's currently 12:30 AM, but my internet has be thoughtfully shut down by my father, so I shall post this tomorrow, before I die. I'm driving... yikes.   
Aimee   
  
  
Dumbledore arrived a few hours later, looking rather flustered. He made his way up to the Master Bedroom, where he met Severus and Lily's unconscious form. 

"Headmaster." Severus nodded, inviting him in. Dumbledore immediately went over to Lily, who was still curled up protectively. 

"Remus is aware?" he asked. Severus nodded. 

"He was here at dawn." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Good. He might be able to help her. I'm assuming you'll be brewing Wolfsbane Potion for her?" 

"With accuracy I've never bothered with before." Severus said. 

"Yes, yes… I would have expected that. Are the babies ok, have you checked on her condition yet?" Dumbledore inquired. 

"B – Babies, sir?" 

"Yes, you are aware she is pregnant, correct?" Dumbledore asked. "She told me she was going to tell you a few nights ago." 

Severus shook his head, "Yes, I knew she was pregnant. However… babies? How many babies is she going to have?" 

Dumbledore looked up with a mildly humorous expression on his face. "Twins, Severus. Two babies." 

"Twins?" 

"Yes Severus, twins." 

In an instant, the memory of the night James had been killed, the night Voldemort had disappeared, the first night Lily and himself were known to the world, flashed through his mind. Lying in that bed, lying in the same bed he slept in every night at Hogwarts, the same bed Lily had slept in with him countless times, she had promised him twins. 

_ HIS twins._ They had to be. They were his… they couldn't be Remus's. It would kill him. She _promised_ him… They had to be his. 

Severus turned back towards Dumbledore, his face crumbling. "Please, tell me they're mine. Please…" 

Dumbledore shook his head, "I told Lily that it was her problem and her problem alone. I know you would tell her; therefore, I cannot tell you." 

"She promised me twins." Severus said bitterly. "And now they could be that… that damn werewolf's!" 

Dumbledore put his hand on Severus' shoulder, only to have it shrugged off. "No. This is it… after fifteen years of trying, she's finally pregnant with twins. Great. But – I swear to God, if they're Remus's, I'll – I don't know what I'll do." 

Dumbledore sighed. "I know this must be hard on you, but – " 

"Headmaster, you have no idea." Severus growled. "Look at her – she's a werewolf now. She's an outcast. She's going to go through far more pain, both physically and mentally, that she could ever put me through, but GOD… It's all that damned werewolf's fault." 

"It is no one's fault." Dumbledore said firmly. "It is no one's fault but her own." 

An enraged Severus turned towards the old man. "How can you say a thing like that? She didn't ask for any of this!" 

"And neither did you." Dumbledore said in a voice, almost as if he was speaking to a child. 

"Yes, but I damn well could have prevented it." 

Dumbledore shook his head, "No, you couldn't have. No one could have. It is the decisions we make that change us, not those who could have prevented us from doing so." 

"Do you have any idea how much it hurts to see her lying there, helplessly?" Severus sighed, his body finally giving in. "I can't do anything for her, for the first time, and it kills me." 

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, she's my family too, remember." 

Severus paused, "Are the babies going to survive this?" 

Dumbledore nodded, "Up until the time they're born, they'll transform with Lily so her body can accommodate then accurately." 

"What if they're born on the Full Moon?" Severus asked. 

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Dumbledore answered quietly. Moments later, Lily started to stir. 

Severus rushed to her bedside, almost afraid to touch her. "Lily, darling?" 

She opened her eyes feebly. "Sev?" 

"Oh God…" Severus breathed, "How are you feeling?" 

Lily's eyes widened as the memory of the previous night came flooding back to her. "Sirius – is he ok?" 

Severus nodded, "He's perfectly fine, but are you ok?" 

"Remus, he –" 

"Yes, love, we know." Severus said quietly. "How are you feeling?" 

Lily paused for a moment. "God, he didn't – ? I'm not – ?" 

"Yes, love, you are." Severus said quietly. 

"Are you sure?" Lily whispered. Severus nodded. 

"Lily, are you feeling up to going back to Hogwarts? I daresay Severus would not want to leave you in the state you're in." Dumbledore asked. 

Lily looked up at him, as if just realizing he was there. "Papa?" 

"Lily, I'm right here. Are you ok?" Dumbledore moved next to Severus. 

"My arm…" almost at once, realization hit in. "It's ok?" 

"I healed it." Severus said quietly. "And the babies?" 

Lily touched her stomach for a moment and closed her eyes. "They're fine." 

"So you did know they are twins?" Severus asked. Lily nodded. 

"Once again, do you feel as if you could move to Hogwarts? Severus is needed, but I assume he would not want to leave you in this state." Dumbledore said. 

Lily nodded, "I think I can… Sev?" 

"Yes?" Severus asked. 

"Is… would that be ok?" 

He nodded, "Of course. Shall I alert the children that you're ill?" 

She nodded, "Before we leave, yes. I'm sorry." 

"You apologize far too much, dear." Severus said gently, turning back to the Headmaster. "Will Madame Pomfrey look after her, or shall I?" 

"Madame Pomfrey will be alerted of Lily's presence and might wish to check up on her. However, I can assure you she will be under your care and will not be admitted to the hospital wing." Dumbledore answered. Both Severus and Lily nodded. 

"Does Remus know?" Lily asked quietly. Severus nodded. 

"Both about biting you and the babies." He answered. "He feels terrible about both." 

"Why?" Lily asked. "Neither were his fault."   
  
"The fact that there's two little babies in there – " Severus touched her stomach, " – could very well be his fault. However, yes, I agree. It is not his fault he bit you. He could not control himself." 

"These babies are not his fault." Lily interjected. "Either they're my fault or they're yours, and I'd hardly acknowledge them to be a fault." 

Severus cracked a smile, "Yes, love."   
  



	69. Treading Through Troubled Waters

snape69 Good Lord, you guys better love me... This chapter's LONG (for me, at least). I survived! *pumps hand into the air*. Driver's Ed is going smoothly... Questions? Comments? You know what to do. What chapter is this... 68? 69? God, I'm good... Or incredibly boring. How many people actually read this story now? I know I lost a few people when I killed Harry off in the *first* ending... Ten people reading? Maybe fifteen? Cool :o)   
Aimee   


Food for thought: _"The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution."_

Lily was moved to Hogwarts later that evening after saying goodbye to the children. Harry and Ethan were informed of her presence later on, as she was placed in Severus' room. Madame Pomfrey came bustling in once or twice a day to check on her and the twins. Ethan and Harry, however, still didn't know she was pregnant. 

"How are we going to tell them?" Lily asked three days after she had arrived. 

"Tell them what?" Severus asked, bending over his desk and correcting papers. 

"Tell the kids about… these guys." Lily gestured towards her stomach, which was still flat as ever. "Harry especially." 

"We'll tell them like we usually do." Severus answered. "Nothing will be different." 

Lily nodded, "When though?" 

Severus checked his watch. "Tonight, perhaps? We can tell the others when you return home." 

"What about Harry?" Lily asked, "He's bound to ask questions." 

Severus smirked, "Do you think he'd be happier if the twins were Remus's? He wouldn't feel as if he was alone anymore then." 

Lily shook her head, "No, I think that'd make him rebel even more." 

"Why do you say that, love?" Severus asked. 

"He's fourteen, Sev." Lily said, "Anything against the ordinary… It scares him." 

Severus smiled, "Well, he's just going to have to live with it then, isn't he?" 

Lily gave him a feeble smile, "Are you sure?" 

"We will not tell them of your, err, 'other' state." Severus said quietly, "But yes, we cannot hide the obvious from them. In a few months, you'll barely be able to fit into your robes. That must give them some sort of hint." 

Lily laughed, "Lovely for you to think of my robes at this time." 

"Well I can't very well think of much else now, can I?" Severus said. 

Lily nodded, "Very well. Tonight, then?" 

"Yes, tonight." Severus answered. "Lily, love… As painful for either you or Remus, you might want to owl him, ask him questions. The transformation itself will be painful, but hopefully the potion with help a bit." 

Lily nodded slowly, "Yes… I believe that would be quite a good idea. I'm not all that sure if he'll respond, however." 

"I'm quite sure he will." Severus said, "After all, you two are still friends, correct?" 

"About as 'friends' as you can be after a one night stand…" Lily muttered.   
  


That night, Ethan and Harry were called into their father's room to find Lily and Severus sitting across from each other, not speaking. Harry smirked; he had a good idea of what was going on, as Severus had informed him of their ability to read minds. 

"Mum? Dad?" Ethan asked, walking up to them. "Why is Mum here?" 

Severus seemed to snap out of a trance as he looked at his two sons. "Harry! Ethan! Didn't hear you come in… Come, sit." 

Harry and Ethan quickly and quietly took seats next to Lily and Severus, Ethan next to Lily and Harry next to Severus. 

"What did you call us in here for, Dad?" Harry asked. 

"Your Mum and I… Well, Lily, why don't you tell them?" Severus started. 

"Boys, in August, I'm going to have twins." Lily said cautiously, watching Harry's expression turn from curiosity to confusion. 

"But – " Harry started, then quickly caught himself after a glance in Ethan's direction. "Everything is normal… Correct?" 

"There is a possibility… But for the most part, everything seems to be in order." Severus answered carefully, looking at Harry with a meaningful expression. 

Harry's eyes widened. "How much of a possibility…?" 

"Perhaps thirty per cent." Lily answered for Severus. "Although I don't see how it's any of your business." 

"I'm in this family, too." Harry glared at his mother, "I believe I have a right to know." 

Severus sighed, "Harry, can we talk about this later?" 

Harry shook his head, "No. Now." 

"Ethan, please leave your brother and us alone." Lily eyed her oldest son before turning to Ethan, who merely shrugged and walked out of the portrait hole without a glance back at the three still sitting in the middle of the room. 

"Now, Harry, I know this is quite a shock –" Severus started. 

"Why the f-ck do you start everything with, 'Now Harry, this may come as quite a shock to you…'?" 

Lily's eyes blazed, "Don't you dare talk to your father like that!" 

"He's _NOT_ my father!" Harry exploded, "Just like those babies aren't his, I'm not _his_ son either!" 

Without so much as a warning, Lily slapped Harry across the face. Cradling his cheek, Harry looked up at his mother with astonishment. 

"Bloody hell, Harry… He raised you and he's as much of a father to you as I am your mother." Lily mumbled, her shoulders slumping over a bit. 

"Harry, understand, I'm accepting this, and I wish for you to also." Severus said quietly. 

"She slept with Remus Lupin!" Harry yelled, "She's going to have his children – and you're perfectly fine with it all?" 

"First of all, young man –" Lily started, " – as far as we know, your father is also the father of these babies. There is a possibility they are Remus's – a _slight_ possibility. We would like it very much if you didn't go broadcasting it around as if it was everybody's news." 

Harry shook his head, "What do the others think? What does _Lupin_ think? Does he even know, or are you not going to tell him just like you didn't tell my father you slept with Severus here?" 

As calm as Severus was, Lily was more angry with Harry than she could ever remember being. "James Potter was a fool to ever marry me. I made sure he knew about your father and I before he died – he knew. Do you realize what he wanted you for? An heir. Not a son, but a man to carry on the Potter name. If you were a girl, I daresay he would have killed you." 

"So you were a fool to ever have me?" Harry spat, "Not only did I have an abusive alcoholic father that was pissed half the time, but a mother who was fool to even have me, let alone allow me to know of my real father before the age of eleven." 

"Harry, leave your mother alone." Severus said quietly, yet in a firm voice. "It is none of your concern what went on between her and James." 

"It is all my concern!" Harry exclaimed, "After all, they are my parents… I do have a right to know, don't I?" 

All of the sudden, Lily reached out and grabbed Harry's shoulders in such a firm grip he couldn't pull away. In a moment's time, Harry felt the surge of her thoughts and memories run through his mind. 

Severus looked at Lily,_ What are you doing?!_

_ He needs to know…_

_ Lily, this isn't the way to show him!_

_ How else is he ever going to know what James was like?_

_ You're going to kill him, Lily…_

Severus watched as Harry's face turned from red to while in a matter of seconds as Lily's memories seeped into his veins. He clutched the sofa covering so hard his knuckles turned white, and his eyes were closed tightly. 

Severus touched Harry's shoulder gently, trying to get into his mind. Closing his eyes, he saw and heard all of Lily's memories of James flash through his mind, over and over again. The first time he had raped her, the first time he had hit her, the first argument, the first fight… and then, without warning, the memories before his eyes slowed down to the last argument they ever had – the one where James found out about Severus. 

_"I told you, it's none of your concern." _This particular fight was about the Secret Keeper. 

_ "Why can't I know, James? I'm just as apart as this as you are."_

_ "Tell me why, and I'll tell you who."_

_ "No, not as long as Voldemort's still after us. Can't you just trust me for once?"_

_ "Lily, last time I trusted you, you ran off with that filth, Snape."_

_ Harry felt a surge of anger go through his veins._

_ "Do you want to know James, do you really want to know? Because I promise you, it will ruin your day."_

_ "Tell me Lily, tell me something you think I don't already know."_

_ Harry felt his mother seething and her nails digging into the palms of her hands. "Do you really, really want to know James? Because it could ruin your life."_

_ "What, you're a werewolf? That would explain where you go every month or so."_

_ "This is much, much worse. I daresay you'll threaten to kill me; perhaps even carry your threat out, or attempt to."_

_ "What did you do, Lily? What the hell is so bad you can't even tell me?"_

_ Harry felt his mother cringe as James gripped her shoulders. "Tell me baby."_

_ Harry could feel his mother step back to escape James' grip. "I told you, you don't want to know."_

_ "God damnit Lily, tell me or I swear to God I'll make you."_

_ "You mean you'll beat it out of me? Is that what you mean? Is that how little you care about me?"_

_ "That's not what I meant."_

_ "Then what did you mean, James? Tell me, I want to know."_

_ The room was silent for a moment, then Harry felt a large, rockhard hand come in contact with his - his mother's - face. Startled, he yelled out loud._

"STOP! MUM, DAD! Please!" Severus could hear his son's whimpers as Lily's memories seeped through his veins once more. 

_"I was right then. You really are a cruel, heartless bastard. Why did you marry me then, if you hate me so much?"_

_ "I wanted an heir."_

_ "Is that all? You could have gone to any girl in that school. Why me?"_

_ "Because you were beautiful. You still are."_

_ "Then why did you hit me?"_

_ "Because you deserved it."_

_ "I gave you a child. I went through nine months of hell while you just sat around and got drunk, The rare chance you did do something for me, you only did for show; to make me see you as the boss. And this is how you repay me? By hitting me? Is that how much you truly wanted an heir?"_

_ "What are you keeping from me?"_

_ "Answer my God damned question."_

_ "Answer mine first."_

_ "I can read thoughts. So can Severus."_

_ "Is that it? You can read thoughts? So you know Peter's the Secret Keeper. Why even bother?"_

_ "That's not all, but I don't think you can handle the rest; not without killing me or Harry."_

_ "I would never kill either of you."_

_ "Great way of showing it."_

_ "Tell me."_

_ "You asked for it." A golden chain with a ring hanging from it flew through the air, then Lily's wand came into view."This is the rest."_

_ "What do you mean? Isn't this the engagement ring that slimy bastard gave you?"_

_ "No."_

_ "Then what is it?"_

_ "It's not my engagement ring to Severus. It's my wedding ring."_

_ "You mean… You and him…?"_

_ "Yes. We got married on December 26th; the day after he found out Voldemort killed our child. The day after he found out we would both be killed if we didn't_   
_break up."_

_ "So you got married for a month? Is that it?" ._

_ "No. We're still married."_

_ "Why the hell did you marry me then?"_

_ "To keep up the image of a normal life – without my husband."_

_ "You mean these two years we've been married have been a total joke? Illegal and everything?"_

_ "Oh no, it was legal. Papa made sure of it."_

_ "So Dumbledore's in this, too… Is that all?"_

_ "Remus knew."_

_ "The God damned werewolf knew and I didn't?! Why the hell not?"_

_ "Because he was smart enough to figure it out; you weren't."_

_ "While you and I have been married… Answer this for me… Did you f-ck him?"_

_ Harry felt his mother's body tense up._

_ "ANSWER ME! DID YOU F-CK THAT BASTARD?" Harry could hear himself, thirteen years previous, crying._

_ "Your child needs me."_

_ "Answer me."_

_ "I need to see Harry."_

_ "You'll get him after you answer my question."_

_ Harry felt his mother walk towards the door, then a sense of calm filled her, a sense of bravery filling his mind._

_ "Yes James, I did. Multiple times. Countless times. And I enjoyed every moment of it."_

Lily finally released Harry, her green eyes bearing into his own. Breathing heavily, Harry was shaking and his face was pale. 

"I'm sorry." He muttered softly. "I look just like him – I'm sorry." 

_ He's had enough, Lily._

She sighed, looking at her son. "Do you understand? He did that to me. He hit me multiple times, he forced me to f-ck him… He made me. The only good thing to come out of our relationship was you." 

Harry shook his head, "I didn't know… I'm sorry." 

"Yes, you did know." Severus interjected quietly, "You just refused to believe it." 

"God damn it… I look just like him…" Harry shook his head once more, breathing heavily. 

"Yes, you do, but you don't act a thing like him – only when you act like you did a few seconds ago." Lily sighed, "Do you see why I hate it when you act like that now?" 

Harry nodded, "I'm sorry Mum, I'm sorry Dad." 

Lily and Severus nodded, "Just never do it again." Severus added. 

"God…" Harry rocked back and forth. "I'm such a bastard." 

Lily immediately scooped the fourteen year old up, "No, you're not. You're a wonderful person, Harry. I couldn't ask for a better son." 

Harry's body shook as he cried into Lily's shoulder, Severus touching his back gently. 

_ I think you just broke him, Lily love._

_ God… I think you're right._   



	70. Musings Of A Werewolf

snape70 One thing - In the last chapter, I accidently said "I think you've broken up" (Severus' thought towards the end). What I meant to say was "I think you've broken him." Sorry... I corrected it. Remus makes a return... yay! I watched Anna and the King today, and I'm on a serious Draco/Tom Felton kick. I love that kid... Who doesn't love that kid? No one? I thought so. You know what I realized? I have Padfoot and Crookshanks. Seriously. My dog, BB (short for Black Belt), has long, shaggy, pitch-black fur and she's huge (for a puppy). Aidan, my cat, is orange/ginger colored with white markings (typical cat) and I swear to god he spits. He's really smart too... It's gonna weigh 10 pounds, at least. Crazy, eh? *shakes head* I have a strange life.   
Aimee   
  


"Where did I go wrong?" 

Sirius Black looked up at me and set down his fork. 

"Damnit, Remus… How many times do I have to tell you? It's not your fault." 

I shook my head. How could it not be my fault? It was my fault all of this happened in the first place. I got her pregnant… She came to me, wanting to tell me… and now she has to endure the monthly curse I've lived with for thirty years. The pain, the torment, the torture that came with it… I had done that to her. 

"Get over it, Remus. There's nothing you can do. You heard Severus – they're his children unless proved otherwise." Sirius said quietly, looking back down at his plate. 

"God damnit, Sirius… Don't you understand? It's my fault she's going to be screaming two weeks from now, having all 206 bones in her body broken and reformed, turning her into a goddamned werewolf. You've never gone through the process, so it's silly of me to think you might be able to see where I'm coming from." I said quickly. 

"Wolfsbane will help with the pain." Sirius said quietly. 

"Yes, the physical pain." I snapped, "But not the mental pain. The feeling of turning into a wolf, Sirius, is unlike being an Animagi. You feel no pain; we feel our bones breaking, our muscles stretching and tearing to fit our new form, our skin stretching, our features changing – all because of the silver orb that hangs completely visible in the sky once a month." 

"There was nothing you could have done." Sirius said, louder this time. "You couldn't help it; even you admit to that." 

"Still… If I hadn't given her a reason to come here at dusk, she wouldn't be in the state she is in now." I shook my head once more. 

"Then why hasn't she shunned you? Sent you a letter telling you how much she hates you for being what you are? You couldn't help yourself, Remus. It was instinct." 

"Instinct to tear one of my best friend's arms to shreds? Instinct to try and kill her? Instinct to act as if she was my prey?" 

"But she WAS your prey!" Sirius exclaimed, "You know that. She is human, and she was within your sense of smell. Therefore, that makes her your prey." 

"Why have I been cursed? Is God punishing me?" I sighed, feeling defeated. "I've destroyed her life, her family's lives… Their mother's a werewolf. How do you believe they're going to react to this?" 

"Knowing Severus, they'll never know." Sirius answered, "He's far too protective of her to ever let anyone treat her as an outcast, or even know about this. You heard him." 

"Yes, I did." I said, "And why do I feel as if it should be me saying those things?" 

"You bit her." Sirius said softly, "You are possibly the father to the child she is carrying. You feel responsible." 

"No," I shook my head, "It's more. Sirius, as a boy, I think all four of us fancied Lily at one time or another, yes?" 

Sirius added, "James and I battled it out. He won, of course." 

"You and I are the only two left; If you had the chance to sleep with her, would you?" I asked. 

Sirius thought about this for a moment. "Yes, I would." 

"Afterwards, would you feel as if… as if you two had something… special, perhaps?" I questioned slowly. 

Once again, Sirius took his time thinking about this. Finally, he nodded. "Yes… Any woman I shared myself with, I would feel as if we had something special, as you call it." 

"We aren't teenagers anymore," I sighed, "Rather adults. She is second only to you as my friend, and to ruin such a beautiful friendship was more than I ever wanted to do. However, I feel as if –" 

"As if you should have some part in this." Sirius finished for me. I nodded. 

"I feel as if I could now be accepted – fully – by someone. She's just like me now; a werewolf. The loneliest creature on Earth finally has somebody he can relate to." I said, bowing my head slightly. 

"And Severus is keeping her under lock and key." Sirius said, "She's at Hogwarts. She has been since she was bitten… I've seen her multiple times." 

I looked up, "Why at Hogwarts?" 

"Severus is there… Dumbledore is there… Harry is there… Ethan is there…" Sirius shrugged, "Who knows?" 

I nodded slowly, "Wolfsbane. And I'm sure he wants to keep an eye on her, making sure her and the baby's ok." 

"Yes, I'm sure of it." Sirius answered. 

"Why do I feel so dejected, Sirius?" I asked after a minute or two. "What did she do to me that makes me want to do something crazy?" 

"Like what?" Sirius asked. 

"It's as if I'd jump off a bridge if she asked me to." I sighed, "Why?" 

"Human connection." Sirius answered, "Human touch; you're not used to it. The first person who gives you the feeling of wanting, the feeling of being wanted, will forever stay in your mind." 

I looked up at him, confused. "Like a first kiss?" 

"Yes, exactly like a first kiss. You remember yours, yes?" he asked me. 

I thought for a moment, then nodded. "Narcissa Malfoy, on a dare." 

Sirius looked up at me, a surprised look on his face. "Narcissa Malfoy? Good Lord, Remus. No wonder you're so scarred." 

I laughed, "No, she was quite good, actually." 

"I hear she's a widow now." Sirius said quietly. 

"As good as one," I answered. "Lucius received the Dementor's Kiss a few years ago, yes?" 

"Yes, after trying to escape." Sirius shook his head, "Poor fool." 

"Do you remember Draco Malfoy?" I asked suddenly. 

"Yes, of course. He's my student." Sirius said, "Why?" 

"He never did get along with Harry, did he?" 

Sirius shook his head, "No. Draco actually –" Before he could finish, Sirius started to chuckle. 

"What?" I asked impatiently. 

"The Dragon kissed the Boy Who Lived in front of the whole school." Sirius laughed at the memory. 

"Draco Malfoy kissed Harry Snape in front of the school?" I asked, unable to suppress a grin. "Why?" 

"No one really knows… Earlier this year. It came as quite a shock, but Harry insists Hermione is the only person he's interested in." 

I chuckled, "Poor boy." 

"Who? Harry or Draco?" 

"Draco." I answered, "For having to kiss the son of James Potter." 

Sirius threw his head back and laughed, "Perhaps Harry will start to sneak into Draco's dorm now?" 

I did not return the laugh; "You know he raped her, yes?" 

Sirius fell silent. "No, I didn't."   
  
"As good a friend as James was, he was a terrible boyfriend to Lily." I shook my head at the thought, "You knew he hit her; I believe the whole House did. She confessed in me many times what went on those nights James snuck out of our room. She said she felt dirty, as if there were millions of bugs crawling all over her and inside her that she couldn't wash away." 

Sirius sighed, "I felt terrible afterwards for not saying anything to Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore. Things might have turned out differently then." 

I paused, "Do you think she felt that way after what happened with her and I?" 

Sirius shrugged, "Perhaps. However, who's to say she didn't enjoy it?" 

"Sirius, she was crying." I said quietly. "I would have stopped, but for some ungodly reason, I couldn't. I tried to make myself, but it was as if an invisible hand was holding me there."   
  
"Lovely mental image, Remus." Sirius shook his head, "Thanks." 

"You're welcome, Padfoot." I smirked, "But still… I feel as if she hates me." 

"She certainly has the grounds to, Mooney." Sirius said, "But I highly doubt any creature, human or werewolf, could ever possibly hate you." 

"Severus hated me." I said calmly, "Before he knew I knew about him and Lily." 

"He didn't hate you because of you." Sirius said, "He hated you because of what I did – or tried to do – to him. I guess James was good for one thing." 

"And what was that?" I asked. 

"He saved Severus' life." 

"Good point." I nodded. 

Sirius suddenly checked his watch, then stood up. "It's nearly dusk. I should return to the castle. Will you be all right here on your own?" 

I laughed, "Sirius, I've lived here for twenty years on my own. I'm sure I can handle one more night." 

With that, Sirius nodded. "Goodbye, then."   
  
"Goodbye Padfoot." I smiled, "Sleep well."   



	71. Dancing With Wolves (The First Time)

snape71 In case any of you aren't quite up to snuff with your British slang, "pissed" basically means drunk. I saw Dr. Dolittle 2 today, and I'm about the watch the Next Best Thing. Yes, I know I see far too many movies... But hey, it's summertime, I'm allowed not to have a life at night as long as I have one during the day. Sorry about the last part of the chapter, I know it's almost all conversation... Try to keep up, it can't be too hard. :o)   
Aimee   
  


The half moon was waxing; with each passing night, Lily grew increasingly nervous and bitter. She began to spend more time around Severus, even following him to his classes and observing. 

The week before the full moon, Severus brewed the Wolfsbane potion for her. Her first taste left her heaving in the middle of the room, but she soon learned to bear the disgusting, boiling liquid. 

During the day of the full moon, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Lily was constantly jumping at the slightest noises, while Severus snapped at anyone within ten feet, including his own children. Dumbledore met with Lily during lunch, checking up to see how she was doing. 

"Sev, I'm scared." She admitted as he locked the portrait hole, then walked over to where she stood, in front of the window. 

"I know, love." Severus sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "It's only for one night though." 

"It's going to hurt." Lily said quietly, "I'm sure of it." 

Severus nodded slightly, "Yes, Remus did often comment on the pain. However, the potion will dull the pain, and I'll be right here with you." 

"I know." Lily sighed as she leaned back into Severus. "The sunset's beautiful." 

"Yes, it is." Severus said quietly. "Although I prefer the sunrise." 

"But you're never awake to see the sunrise!" Lily exclaimed softly, "I always wake up before you." 

"Yes, but the sunrise means new chances, new hope. A fresh start." 

"And the sunset means you've lived through another day." Lily finished. 

"Yes." Severus said, kissing the top of her head. "I'm going to be right here, nothing's going to happen to you." 

"What if the potion didn't work?" Lily asked quietly. 

"I brewed it as exact as humanly possible; perhaps more than humanly possible. I can guarantee you it will work. If I wasn't positive, I wouldn't be in here with you." Severus insisted. 

Lily was silent for a minute. "I never thought I'd be so nervous about seeing the moon." 

"You won't, love." Severus said, "I'm going to close the windows once the transformation takes place." 

"Why?" Lily asked, "It won't make any difference." 

"Are you sure?" Severus asked, "I wouldn't want to make you more uncomfortable." 

"Who knows?" Lily smiled, "Maybe I'll like being a wolf." 

"I must admit, it would be nice to be able to turn into a creature as powerful as a wolf." Severus sighed, "Perhaps not being forced to, but on any other occasion." 

"I hear you." Lily nodded, "But maybe the moon will be relaxing. I'll tell you if I want it shut." 

"And how do you plan on telling me?" Severus asked, a bemused expression on his face. 

Lily grinned, "I'll find some way." 

The sun slowly set over the horizon, disappearing into the Forbidden Forest. The dark blue sky was streaked with pink, orange, and finally purple, the colours reflecting off the clouds lingering in the sky. Severus and Lily stood there watching until Lily started trembling and couldn't stand up any longer. 

As the last strip of pink gave into the dark blanket of stars, Lily's body started making involuntary movements, her limbs thrashing out. Finally, she bent her head over and screamed as loud as she could. 

What Severus saw next would stay with him forever; her bones started moving beneath her skin and he heard many of them crack to work into their true form. Lily hurriedly threw off her robes, leaving her naked on the bed. 

She screamed once more; gray and white fur sprang up over her body, her face elongated and her nose turned into a black snout. Her hands and feet turned into paws, her legs into powerful hindquarters. From her tailbone came a real tail, covered in fur. 

Her screams ceased in less than ten seconds; she finally dared to look up. Her human body had turned into a wolf body, with few exceptions werewolves possessed. Instead of her human voice, a whine came from her throat as she tried to speak. 

Severus stood with his mouth agape. He slowly walked to the bed where Lily's wolf body now lay. Lily whined once more, looking up at Severus. 

"Oh God, Lily…" Severus said softly. "Are you ok?" 

As strange as it looked, the wolf nodded. Standing up, she jumped off the bed and went up to Severus' hand, then started licking it. 

"What am I going to do with you?" Severus shook his head, "At least the potion worked. 

_ Sev? Can you hear me?_

Severus looked down at the wolf in surprised.__

_ Lily?___

_ It works!_

Severus could almost see the happiness protruding out of the wolf's features. 

_ Yes, love. It did work. Are you ok?___

_ I'm fine, Sev.___

_ How does it feel?___

_ Nice, almost. Like it's second nature.___

_ Did it hurt?___

_ Imagine all of your bones breaking at once, then mending in an abrupt way. Then think of your muscles stretching, your limbs shrinking, and sharp teeth cutting through your tongue and gums.___

_ I'm sorry, love.___

_ You have nothing to be sorry for, Sev. If this is how it feels with the potion, I'm terrified to find out how it feels without.___

_ Ask Remus; I'm sure he'll tell you.___

_ Yes, I'm sure he would._

Suddenly, the wolf laid down and rolled over onto her back.__

_ Can you feel the babies?_

Surprised, Severus touched the wolf's stomach cautiously. 

_ Yes, much better than when you're in your… err… human form.___

_ Amazing, isn't it?___

_ Aren't you scared?___

_ Terrified out of my wits, love._

Severus watched as the wolf rolled back over and jumped up next to him. He smiled and automatically started petting her. 

_Severus, I'm not a dog.___

_ Yes you are, love.___

_ Am not.___

_ Lily, love, the wolf is a species of dog.___

_ I am NOT a bitch!_

Severus threw his head back and laughed at the thought. 

_ Literally, dear, you are.___

_ Am not.___

_ Yes, you are Lily. It's not a bad thing, at least from my perspective.___

_ Yes, and you're six feet tall. Meanwhile, I'm – what? – two and a half feet tall.___

_ At least it's better than two feet, love.___

_ Point being?___

_ You're a beautiful wolf, Lily. Absolutely gorgeous.___

_ I wish I was pissed.___

_ Well, wouldn't that be interesting? A pissed wolf.___

_ A pissed werewolf, at that.___

_ So now you know what it felt like for Remus all these years.___

_ I feel bad for the poor chap; Thirty years of this is how many times?___

_ Thirty times twelve is three hundred and sixty, love.___

_ Three hundred and sixty? Poor man… That's nearly once every day for a year.___

_ Yes, it would be quite painful, I imagine.___

_ Yes, you, Severus, can only imagine. I can only imagine, because I'm sure you'll never allow me to transform without taking the potion.___

_ You've guessed correctly, love.___

_ You enjoy calling me that, don't you?___

_ What else would I call you, love?___

_ I'm not complaining; I like it.___

_ I know you do, Lily. That's why I call you love.___

_ I don't have anything to call you by, though.___

_ Sev works just fine, Lily.___

_ It feels impersonal though.___

_ No, nobody else calls me Sev.___

_ True.___

_ So it's not impersonal.___

_ After seventeen years, you would think I would have come up with something different.___

_ I like Sev, love._   
  
_ If you say so, dear.___

_ Dear's a bit too…___

_ Old lady-ish?___

_ Quite, love._

  


**So call me a bitch in heat and**   
**I'll call you a liar**   
**And we'll throw stones until we're dead******

**There you go again you cut me off from talking**   
**You bask in the glory**   
**The center of the circle**   
**All our friends think you're a comedian**   
**So kind and generous**   
**But i am suffering******

**Away from here**   
**I wanna be**   
**Away from here**   
**Away from here**   
**Away from every little thing**   
**Every little thing**   
**I used to love your every little, every little thing******

**Now you call me a bitch in heat and**   
**I call you a liar**   
**And we'll throw stones until we're dead******

**You're the puppeteer and i'm the puppet**   
**You manipulate me with your (real) catholic shit**   
**Everytime i try to talk it through**   
**You turn it around and make us out to be**   
**David and Goliath******

**Away from here**   
**I wanna be**   
**Away from here**   
**Away from here**   
**Away from every little thing**   
**Every little thing**   
**I used to love your every little every little thing******

**Now you call me a bitch in heat and**   
**I'll call you a liar**   
**And we'll throw stones until we're dead******

**Your arms beneath me**   
**Your lying inside me**   
**I used to love your every little every little thing**   
**Your eyes blue stars**   
**Your hand in my purse**   
**And now I hate your every little everything all day******

**Oh momma**   
**I didn't know life was this hard**   
**Oh momma**   
**My innocence has been torn******

**My inner vision, dulled and darkened**   
**I keep myself away to you**   
**I fuck my sorrow humblely**   
**And throw my crown upon the ground******

**It's you I hope for**   
**And us I pray for**   
**And me that I believed was wrong**   
**But now my anger is my best friend**   
**Be careful may bite your head off******

**Liar******

**So call me a bitch in heat and**   
**I'll you a liar**   
**And we'll throw stones until we're dead******

**So call me a bitch in heat and**   
**I'll you a mother fucker**   
**And we'll throw stones until we're dead******

***Paula Cole, Throwing Stones**   
**(Lily...James...Yes.Good.)**


	72. Mummy Dearest

snape72 A chapter posted *before* the sun goes down... Hell, it's 3:30 in the afternoon. I'm going to a carnival (the Spree) and staying the night at my best friend's, so I figured I might as well try to post a chapter before I leave. I survived today's driving! Third time. Went all over, and my leg actually hurts... Go figure. Anyway, there's a message in bold print at the bottom of the chapter. Read it.   
Aimee   


The first few hours of the Full Moon went by as one would expect; Severus either talked to Lily or read as the wolf attempted to sleep. However, the two had missed dinner, as the sun had set earlier than dinner was served. 

Severus heard a knock on the portrait wall, and a moment later opened the door a crack to see who it was. As he opened the door, Dumbledore appeared, his half-moon spectacles attempting to hide the mixture of fear and sorrow present in his eyes. 

"Good evening, Severus. May I come in?" 

Severus nodded and opened the portrait hole all the way, allowing the Headmaster to step in. 

As he laid eyes on the wolf sitting atop the messy bed, Dumbledore sighed. 

"Lily, darling… What have you gotten yourself in to?" 

_Tell him I didn't exactly have a choice now, did I?_

Severus chuckled, "She says she didn't exactly have a choice now, did she?" 

Dumbledore smiled. "Clever of you to think of such ways of communication. Mind reading, I suppose?" 

Severus nodded, "Yes. It's a miracle it works in her state." 

"I am sure, if she did not have the Wolfsbane potion running through her system, you would not be able to rationally communicate with her, or perhaps not even at all." Dumbledore said, taking a seat on one of the sofas provided. "How did the transformation go?" 

"Relatively painless." Severus said. 

_Speak for yourself, Sev._

"For me, anyway." 

"And for Lily?" Dumbledore asked. 

"She says it was agony." Severus answered, looking over at the wolf, who was watching their every move. "And she is not eager to try the transformation without the potion." 

Dumbledore chuckled, "Yes, somehow that doesn't surprise me." Turning to the wolf, he held out his hand. "Lily, child, do you like being petted?" 

_Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?_

"Only on the full moon, love." Severus smiled. "She adores it." 

_Do not! Sev, come on… Tell him… Please?_

Severus grinned waved his hand, motioning for the wolf to come towards them. 

_God damnit, Sev, do you want to sleep on the couch for the rest of this marriage?_

Severus finally laughed, "She doesn't like feeling as if she's a dog." 

Dumbledore smiled, "Lily, dear, that's what you are." 

_So? That doesn't mean I have to be treated as such._

"She says, and I quote, 'So? That doesn't mean I have to be treated as such.'" Severus told the old man. 

Dumbledore smiled once more and sat down next to the wolf's form. "You do make a truly beautiful wolf, Lily." 

_I know._

Severus tried to suppress his laughter as the wolf licked Dumbledore on the side of his face. 

_ Nothing like a little family love, Lily.___

_ Piss off, Sev._

Severus shook her head, "She has quite the temper tonight." 

"Does she?" Dumbledore turned back towards the wolf. "Lily, dear, I believe you're going to have to get used to it." 

_For the rest of my natural life, once a month, you guys are going to be treating me and talking to me like I'm a dog, aren't you?_

"Yes, love." Severus smiled and sat on the other side of Lily. "It won't be that bad, will it?" 

_You're confusing Papa._

Severus turned towards Dumbledore with a sheepish expression on his face. "Sorry, Headmaster." 

"That's quite all right, Severus." Dumbledore nodded, "As long as you two aren't saying anything about me." 

"If we are, I can assure you it's all good." Severus nodded. 

Moments later, a timid knock was heard coming from the portrait hole. Slightly confused, Severus stood up and opened the entrance a crack. 

"Harry, what are you doing here this late?" Severus asked his oldest son. 

"You and Mum weren't at dinner," Harry said, "And I was wondering where you were." 

"Your Mum and I are just having a discussion at the moment." Severus said, turning his head quickly towards the bed where the wolf had hidden under. 

"Where is she? I need to ask her something." Harry craned his neck and tried to look around the portrait, but Severus blocked his view. 

"She's a bit preoccupied at the moment, Harry." Said Severus. 

"This will only take a moment." Harry insisted, "You're fully dressed, so I can't see how preoccupied she could be." 

Severus laughed, "Harry, Harry, Harry… What am I ever going to do with you?" 

"Feed me to the wolves?" Harry suggested, grinning. 

Severus screwed up his face a bit, "Err, no, I don't believe that's quite appropriate." 

"Let the boy in, Severus." Dumbledore said quietly. "He has a right to know." 

Without allowing Harry to see into the room, Severus turned towards the Headmaster. "Pardon?" 

"Allow Harry to come in." Dumbledore insisted, "He should know. It's not right, not allowing your children to be aware." 

"Headmaster… But…" 

"Severus," Dumbledore warned, "This will only get messier. Harry can keep the secret." 

Severus sighed and turned back towards his son, "Harry, what you're about to see not to go past this room, understand?" 

Harry nodded, extremely curious. "Yes, Dad." 

"Further more, you will let us explain before you make any judgments." 

Harry nodded once more. 

_Bloody hell, Sev. Just let the boy in… He's going to find out sooner or later.___

_ Curse of the Snape Mansion._

Severus slowly opened the door, revealing Dumbledore sitting on the bed. Once Harry stepped inside, Severus quickly shut the portrait, then set his hands on Harry's shoulders. 

"Lily, love. Come on out." He said quietly. 

A moment later, the wolf came creeping out from under the bed. Severus could feel Harry's shoulders tense up as he strained against his father's grip. 

The wolf approached Harry and licked his hand, looking up at the boy with vivid green eyes. 

Harry tried to take a step back, but ran into Severus. Looking at the wolf with wide eyes, he gasped. 

"Mum?"__

  
__   
__

_You found hope, you found faith_   
_Found how fast she could take it away_   
_Found true love lost your heart_   
_Now you dont know who you are___

_She made it easy made it free_   
_Made you hurt till you couldn't see_   
_Sometimes it stops some times it flows_   
_Baby that is how love goes___

_You will fly you will crawl_   
_God knows even angels fall_   
_No such thing as you lost it all_   
_God knows even angels fall___

_And its a secret that no one tells_   
_One day its heaven one day its hell_   
_It's no fairy tale take it from me_   
_Thats the way its supposed to be___

_You will fly you will crawl_   
_God knows even angels fall_   
_No such thing as you lost it all_   
_God knows even angels fall___

_You laugh you cry no one knows why_   
_But ohh the thrill of it all_   
_Your one the ride_   
_You might as well open your eyes___

_You will fly you will crawl_   
_God knows even angels fall_   
_No such thing as you lost it all_   
_God knows even angels fall___

_Even angels fall_   
_Even angels fall*_   
_*Jessica Riddle, "Even Angels Fall"_   
**_(First person to tell me how that song fits into the story [in full detail] gets to choose one of the twins' names.)_**


	73. Always

snape73 Why does it feel as if I haven't updated for a while? Sorry... Gotta say though, no one has gotten the song thing from the last chapter exactly right yet. NO ONE! Wow. It's not that hard! A lot of people have been getting the chorus right, but besides that, no one's truly gotten the meaning right. O well... Come on guys, if you've guessed, guess again. It's worth a shot, yes? :o) Enjoy the chapter.   
Aimee   
  


Harry gaped at the wolf as Severus steered him towards a chair. As Harry sat down, the wolf rested her head on his knees. 

"Harry, your mum was bit by Remus last month." Severus said quietly, "We didn't want to tell you in fear of –" 

_In fear of him never looking at me the same way ever again._

The wolf let out a small sigh, followed by a whine in her throat. 

"We were afraid you'd never look at your mum the same way ever again." Severus repeated, looking out the window at the fully visible full moon. 

Harry didn't say anything for nearly five minutes. Finally, he looked up at his father, disbelief in his eyes. 

"Is that why she's been here this whole time?" he asked feebly. 

Severus nodded, "Yes, Harry. She's perfectly harmless, as you can see. Wolfsbane potion; the same I gave to Remus when he taught here." 

"Without the potion, she'd try to kill us?" Harry asked. 

"Yes." Severus said quietly, looking down at the wolf who was looking up at him with her green eyes. "She does make a gorgeous wolf, doesn't she?" 

"She looks sad." Harry said softly. 

_I'm not… I'm just tired._

"She's not, she's just tired." Severus said for Lily. 

Harry looked up at him curiously, "How do you know?" 

Severus smiled, "She still has her mind, Harry. I can communicate with her as easily as if she was human." 

"But why can't she talk like a normal human being?" Harry asked rather stupidly. 

Severus shook his head, "She doesn't have the vocal cords to accompany human speech. Isn't that right, love?" 

He reached down and started scratching the wolf behind her ears. Both Dumbledore and Harry started chuckling when the wolf started to growl and Severus withdrew his hand. 

_Sev…___

_ Yes, love?___

_ I told you, I don't like being petted.___

_ Lily, darling, you've never been petted, so how can you decide whether or not you like it?___

_ It's far too… dogish._

Severus laughed out loud, looking at the other two humans in the room. "She doesn't liked being petted." 

"I can imagine why." Harry said scornfully. "What about the babies?" 

Severus looked over towards Dumbledore, a pleading expression on his face. Dumbledore nodded, understanding. He cleared his throat and started to stand up before seeming to change his mind and the upward motion of his body ceased. 

"Harry." Dumbledore said slowly, in a slightly drawn-out way. Before he could say anymore, the wolf once again turned on her back, all four of her legs stuck up vertically in the air. 

_Let him touch.___

_ Lily, love… Do you really think that's a good idea?___

_ Bloody hell, Severus. It's the exact same as if I were human.___

_ It's a rather peculiar feeling, love. I'm not sure Harry would know what to make of it.___

_ He asked, he should have a right to know.___

_ If you insist._ Severus sighed, turning back towards Harry. 

"She wants you to touch her belly." Severus kneeled down with his son, taking his hand and pressing it softly on the wolf's belly. He watched as Harry's eyes widened in amazement. 

"They're… they're much bigger than they are when Mum's… err… Human, yes?" Harry asked. 

Severus forced a smile. "Werewolf cubs, Harry." 

Harry immediately withdrew his hand. "Pardon?" 

_Piss off, Sev. They're just as human as I am.___

_ My dear, that's not saying too much at the moment.___

_ No need to scare the boy!___

_ If both parents of a child are werewolves, does that mean the child, or children in this case, will become werewolves?___

_ Severus, if you say one more god damned word about that I will not hesitate to bite you.___

_ You know damn well it's a possibility.___

_ How the bloody hell did we get from talking about Harry to talking about the fact Remus –___

_ Has a better than even chance of being the father?___

_ Damn it, Severus. You know it's about a thirty per cent chance –___

_ So you say.___

_ Don't make me walk out of here, Severus.___

_ Lily, love, you can't.___

_ Sarcasm doesn't suit your thoughts, dear.___

_ Neither does it yours, Lily love.___

_ Are you ever going to drop it? If you're so curious, ask Papa, then read his mind.___

_ I can't.___

_ What?___

_ I said, I –___

_ I heard perfectly well what you said. What do you mean, you can't?___

_ I mean, he's much more powerful than we could ever hope to be. He can block me out when he wishes.___

_ God f-cking damnit…___

_ Now, Lily. Using that language around the children…___

_ Piss off, Sev. They can't hear me. Hell, two of them don't even have ears yet.___

_ Which brings me back to my original point –___

_ I know what you said, Severus. They're yours unless proven otherwise. Stick by your words for once, will you?___

_ Harry wasn't mine. Who's to say these babies aren't?___

_ Yet you've raised Harry as if you would if he were your son. Will you truly do any different this time, Sev?___

_ We're older, Lily. You know damn well how I feel about you and Remus._   
  
_ It wasn't his fault.___

_ I'm well aware of that fact. He's always the innocent one, Lily. Always.___

_ What on Earth is that supposed to mean? Why are you being like this?___

_ Because your son's standing here next to me, touching two babies that might not be mine. You're a god damn werewolf, Lily, and I'm standing here, completely helpless.___

_ So that's what's making you act like this… Helplessness. Severus, would you enjoy turning into a werewolf? If I bit you, would that make you feel any better? To join my ranks? If I was to allow you to sleep with another woman and impregnate her, would you feel not-so-helpless?___

_ Lily, I -___

_ If you were to have two babies growing inside of you, and you didn't know if they were the products of a binge of despair or the love of your life's, would that make you feel any better? Would being more scared than you had ever been in your entire life make you feel any better, Severus? Would it?___

_ No, it wouldn't.___

_ Then don't you dare be mad at me, Severus, because I sure as hell didn't ask for any of this.___

_ Lily, love, I'm sorry._

The wolf looked up at Severus and rolled over, barring her teeth slightly. A low growl omitted from the wolf's throat, as Harry and Dumbledore looked on with interest. 

"And exactly what were you two conversing about?" Dumbledore asked as the wolf jumped up beside him and curled up. 

"Nothing, Headmaster." Severus said quietly, eyes downcast. 

"Grandpa, did you know about this?" Harry asked suddenly, looking up at Dumbledore with expectant eyes. 

"From the day it happened, Harry." The old man answered honestly. He turned towards the wolf, his blue eyes bearing into her green ones. "Are you tired, dear?" 

The wolf set her nose down on Dumbledore's knee, a small whine escaping her throat. Dumbledore smiled a bit, then turned towards Harry. 

"Son, I believe your Mum is tired… And I daresay your father, also?" Severus gave a small nod. "Why don't you and I go get a cup of hot chocolate and I can answer any questions you might have. Is that ok?" 

Harry nodded and stood up with Dumbledore. The two bid Severus and the wolf goodbye, climbing out of the portrait hole swiftly. 

Along once more, Severus turned towards the wolf, his face pale and a look of hopelessness filling his features. "Lily, love, I'm sorry." 

_ I know you are, Sev.___

_ I didn't mean to get out of hand like that, love. I just…___

_ You're mad and you don't know what to make of it all. It's perfectly expectable.___

_ Yes, but I'm also sorry.___

_ It's ok… I expect I'm going to do a bit of venting myself, possibly in the form of Severus-torturing, so we'll be even then.___

_ Lily, love, promise me something.___

_ Yes?___

_ You'll stay with me, always.___

_ Of course, Sev. Why wouldn't I?___

_ If these babies are Remus's…___

_ I'd rather drown them than have you leave me.___

_ You say that now, while they're still mere cells.___

_ And what do you think we're made of, Severus? Titanium?___

_ If those babies are Remus's, would you even consider trying to raise them with him?___

_ No, if you hadn't spoken it the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind. Never. You're the father of my children, regardless of blood. We've proved that before, and we'll do it again if we need to. However, if you feel as if seeing the twins on a day by day basis would be a constant reminder of what has happened…___

_ I can't promise anything, love.___

_ I know you can't, Sev. I'm not expecting you to.___

_ But I can tell you I'll try.___

_ Come, Sev. Sit next to me._

Severus obliged and walked over to the bed, sitting next to the wolf. He laid down next to her, touching her head gently. 

_ I admit, someone petting me does feel rather soothing.___

_ I'll have to remember that, love.___

_ Are you tired?___

_ Honestly? I feel as if I've just drank the Draught of the Living Dead.___

_ Then sleep, Sev._   
  
_ I don't want to leave you.___

_ I'll be here when you wake up, hopefully in human form.___

_ Naked?___

_ Hopefully I'll have time to put some clothes on.___

_ Damn.___

_ I'll try not to wake you up.___

_ No, no… Wake me up when you start to transform. I know it's painful, I want to be there in case you need help.___

_ Or render myself unconscious.___

_ That too, love.___

_ Good night, Sev.___

_ Sleep well, love._   



	74. Morning Glory

snape74 Ahh, the beauty of a contest... The answer to the song translations are at the bottom, for all of you that are curious as to exactly what I was looking for. Thank yous to everyone that guessed... It was awesome reading your ideas. :o)   
Aimee   


Severus was awakened by the wolf, who had insisted on licking his face, seven hours later. With a quick glance out at the window and notice the blanket of stars slowly giving way to the first rays of the sun, Severus turned back to the wolf. 

"It's almost time, then?" 

_Yes.___

_ Are you ok?___

_ Not in a moment._

Just as Lily's last thought filtered through Severus' mind, the wolf let out a ear-splitting howl. Without so much as a second thought, Severus jumped out of the bed and backed away a few steps. 

"Are you ok?" he repeated stupidly, his eyes widening with fear. 

_What the bloody hell do you think?___

_ Sorry, love.___

_ God damnit, I hate this…_

Severus watched with baited breath as the wolf in front of him seemed to battle an invisible force, thrashing side to side and howling with pain. He heard the sound of bones breaking once more as the fur retracted into the wolf's body. The snout, once so prominent a feature, was now retracting with little grace, a very human nose replacing it. Severus watched, amazed, as the wolf was replaced with his wife. 

Lily was trembling terribly, pale, and naked, lying in a heap, hugging herself. Severus immediately ran over to her, pulling off his own robe and covering her with it. He glanced around the room and spotted her discarded clothing from the evening before. Picking the garments up carefully, he laid them beside Lily's exhausted form. 

_That was easier than I expected.___

_ Yes, it did seem to be much quicker.___

_ Quicker? It seemed like an eternity.___

_ Your clothes are right here… Do you think you have the energy to put them on?___

_ No, your robe'll do… Do you think you could maybe help me with this? I seem to have lost all movement of my limbs._

Severus forced a tight smile as he gently pulled Lily's arms through the sleeves of the blue terrycloth robe, tying the belt around her middle loosely. He adjusted her body so her head was lying on one of the feather pillows at the head of the bed, and pulled the blankets over her. 

_Thank you, Sevvie.___

_ Sevvie now, eh?___

_ Yes, Sevvie.___

_ Why Sevvie?___

_ Makes us seem younger.___

_ We're only thirty-four, love.___

_ That's thirty-four years too many, Sev.___

_ So we're back to Sev now?___

_ SEVVIE!___

_ If you insist, love.___

_ C'mere… Get your arse under the blankets with me and give me a hug. I don't think I can move.___

_ Tired, love?___

_ Yes, Sevvie._

Severus smiled a bit as he complied with Lily's wishes, wrapping his arms around her still-trembling shoulders. 

_Is this better, love?___

_ You're calling me love every sentence, Sev.___

_ Are you complaining, love?___

_ No, Sev.___

_ Then why mention it, love?___

_ So you're not mad at me anymore, Sev?___

_ Of course not, love. Why on Earth would I be mad at you?___

_ For… I don't know, Sev.___

_ Now you're overdoing it, Lil.___

_ What, no love that time?___

_ Go to sleep, love.___

_ Why?___

_ Because you're exhausted, and I'm sure your Papa wouldn't mind if I skipped class this morning.___

_ Class… SEV! You've got to go… Leave… Now… Good Lord, it's almost eight.___

_ Let the little buggers miss Potions…___

_ Sev, this isn't 1978. You can't miss class, you're the teacher!___

_ I'm sure your Papa will take care of it… He knows I have other obligations.___

_ They might as well start looking around for a new Potions Master.___

_ Of course, what do you think they're doing?___

_ Teaching?___

_ At Hogwarts? Never_.   
  


Ethan approached Harry that morning in the Great Hall, eyeing the Gryffindors surrounding his brother. 

"Harry… Where's Mum and Dad?" Ethan asked, his voice squeaking a bit. 

"In their room, probably." Harry yawned, exhausted from the late hours spent talking with his grandfather. "But don't bother them – they're tired." 

"What about class?" Ethan asked, a little louder. "Dad has to teach; I have Potions second hour." 

"I'm sure he'll be there, Ethan." Harry sighed, slightly annoyed. He looked over at Ron and Hermione, both of whom were eyeing his little Slytherin brother just as much as he was eyeing them. 

"Ok… If you see them, tell them… Tell them…" Ethan paused. 

"Tell them what?" Harry snapped. 

Ethan's cold black eyes hardened, "Tell them to stop by, that Daddy's oldest son misses him." 

Harry stood up next to the boy. "Take that back." 

Ethan smirked, "Why? It's true." 

"Take it back or I swear to God I'll hit you so hard you'll be flying into next Thursday." Harry growled back, clenching his fists. 

Ethan was unfazed. He crossed his arms, an amused expression playing across his face. "You think no one cares about you not being a real Snape? Everyone cares, Harry. Dad's just being extra nice to you to make you think you matter." 

Harry didn't bother concealing his anger this time; before his grandfather, friends, and the whole Great Hall, he punched Ethan so hard the boy was knocked backwards nearly six feet. 

Looking up at Harry with amazement mixed with surprise in his eyes, Ethan clutched his bloody and broken nose, scrambling to stand back up. He fought against the tears that were forming in his eyes, not so much from pain but from frustration. Wiping his mouth with the edge of his sleeve, his glared at Harry and turned around, storming out of the Great Hall. 

He arrived at the portrait concealing the entrance to his parents' room, and whispered the password angrily. A moment later, the door swung open, revealing his sleeping parents. Storming up to the side of the bed his father was on, he shook his shoulders forcibly, waking the grown man up. 

"Ethan? What is it?" Severus whispered, glancing over at his wife. "What happened to your nose?"   
  
"Harry punched me." Ethan fumed. 

"Why did he do that?" Severus said quietly, touching the boy's blood stained face. "Go to Madame Pomfrey." 

"I don't know why, he just punched me!" Ethan exclaimed. Severus immediately clamped his hand over the boy's mouth. 

"Keep it down… Your mother is sleeping." 

Ethan looked over at Lily's pale, sleeping form. "Ok, I'm sorry. I don't know why… Could you punish him?" 

Severus shook his head, "Not until I get his side of the story. He wouldn't punch you out of the blue, Ethan. Now GO to Madame Pomfrey… She'll fix your nose for you." 

Ethan nodded, "Yes sir." With that, he walked out of the room, closing the portrait door behind him. Severus sighed turned back towards Lily. 

_What was that all about?___

_ You're awake.___

_ Yes, sorry. What happened?___

_ Ethan came in with a bloody nose and is insisting Harry punched him.___

_ Somehow that doesn't surprise me…_ Lily sighed and opened her eyes a bit. 

"Are you feeling better?" Severus asked. 

"Yes, a lot." Lily moved her hand down along Severus' left arm, tracing the tattooed gray skull with her finger. "Can't you get that removed?" 

"I wish." Severus said softly, resisting the urge to jerked his arm away from her. "Maybe someday someone will figure out how." 

"I'm sure they will." Lily said slowly and softly, almost as if it pained her to speak. 

"Go back to sleep, love. I'll wake you up in time for dinner." Severus assured her. Lily nodded and closed her eyes once more, laying her head on Severus' chest. 

He sighed and started to run his fingers through her auburn hair, allowing himself to succumb to the irresistible lulls of sleep. 

*** 

And now, the explanation you've all been waiting for, verse by verse... Guys, the song was a basic coverage of all of Severus and Lily's relationship! A lot of people guessed that part right, but the reasons and explanations they gave me for the verses and occassions were fairly weak or just really... strange. Some of you guys were _so_ close... Good job to all of you that guessed, most of you guys touched on a topic I'm about to show.**__**

**_ You found hope, you found faith_**   
**_ Found how fast she could take it away_**   
**_ Found true love lost your heart_**   
**_ Now you dont know who you are_**

(The "you" is Severus; his relationship with Lily [with a dash of betrayal thrown in]. Over the course of the story, his personality has changed in very subtle ways, and from the time he met Lily to the present, he's a whole nother person. A lot less bitter, more caring... it's all from Lily's love. No one got that right.)**__**

**_ She made it easy made it free_**   
**_ Made you hurt till you couldn't see_**   
**_ Sometimes it stops some times it flows_**   
**_ Baby that is how love goes_**

(More or less the "hard times" they've shared... They've all been Lily's fault, or had something to do with her and really not Severus (James, Remus...). She's never really asked for anything in return but him... her love's free. :o) And it's showing how that's just the way it is... Nothing's perfect.)**__**

**_ You will fly you will crawl_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_**   
**_ No such thing as you lost it all_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_**

(Easy - Everyone makes mistakes. Also, the "no such thing as you lost it all" line is how they always have their other half to fall back on, no matter what happens.   
Severus has always been there for Lily and vise versa.)**__**

**_ And its a secret that no one tells_**   
**_ One day its heaven one day its hell_**   
**_ It's no fairy tale take it from me_**   
**_ That's the way its supposed to be_**

(People were kind of getting this one, but not really. They're all saying how it's Lily's relationship with James... But it's _Severus_' relationship with Lily _while_ she's   
married to James. I thought maybe the 'secret' and 'that's the way it's supposed to be' would give it away... apparentally not?)**__**

**_ You will fly you will crawl_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_**   
**_ No such thing as you lost it all_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_****__**

**_ You laugh you cry no one knows why_**   
**_ But ohh the thrill of it all_**   
**_ You're on the ride_**   
**_ You might as well open your eyes_**

(Their whole relationship, summed up basically in one verse.)**__**

**_ You will fly you will crawl_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_**   
**_ No such thing as you lost it all_**   
**_ God knows even angels fall_**

Now really, that wasn't so hard, was it? I love the answers I got... some of them were almost right, some of them showed other ways the song could be portrayed, but the ideas were off just a bit. Thanks guys!! :o) 


	75. I'm A Believer

snape75 Sorry about not posting last night... I got kicked. I was so busy today... I tried to put this up for you guys before I left, but I didn't have the chance. Forgive me?   
Aimee   


_ How long has it been since I've felt the burn of human emotion?_

_ Too long. Far too long. You're an outcast in your own mind, even though you're surrounded by friends._

_ And who am I to argue? These people look at me as if I'm a freak. I am…_

_ You are._

_ The last time I felt as if anyone cared was when…_

_ Was when you betrayed your best friend._

_ Yes. Guilt beyond guilt._

_ It was like your whole world had come crashing down…._

_ It did. She hated me… Or so I thought. He… He still hasn't looked at me the same way, especially since I hurt her…_

_ Now that wasn't your fault._

_ Of course it was! How could it not be?_

_ You weren't in your right state of mind._

_ What do you know?_

_ Everything._

_ Yes?_

_ I am you._

_ Of course you are…_

Remus sighed as he looked around the crowded alleyway. Witches and Wizards of all kind streamed passed him. The few he knew and dared to meet eyes with either looked away or nodded swiftly without a word. 

Guilt pounded in his chest as he stepped into Flourish and Blott's. Surveying the scene in front of him, he cautiously made his way down an empty aisle, his eyes running over the assorted spines of books he would probably never read in his life. His eyes flicked from cover to cover, his mind soaking in the words as his eyes passed over them. 

"The rise and fall of the Dark Arts, summarized into one five-hundred page book?" Remus shook his head, picking up the leather-bound book. "Impossible." 

Flipping to the index, he scanned the page for "Potter, Lily." Making a note of the page numbers, he turned to it and raised an eyebrow at the picture of her. 

It was a biography up to Ethan's birth. A picture of what was her and Severus while they were still at Hogwarts was put in the top corner. Severus was cut out of the picture, only a few strands of his raven hair showing. Lily was smiling and waving, her seventeen year old self as radiant as ever. 

_The two people you destroyed…_

_ I did no such thing._

_ You tried._

_ It wasn't my fault._

_ So you say._

_ We did it together._

_ Yes, you definitely did something together._

_ We f-cked – Nothing more._

_ Is that all it was, then?_

_ Yes._

_ There was no emotion? No love? We both know how much you adore her._

_ A schoolboy crush is not worth ruining the best relationship she'll ever have._

_ Yet you did it anyway._

_ I was weak._

_ You still are._

_ I've always been weak – ever since I was bitten, I've been weak._

_ Yes, and look where that got you; your best friend possibly pregnant with your child._

_ Twins. She told me they were twins._

_ Did she now? And how do you feel about that?_

_ Overjoyed… terrified…_

_ Are they yours?_

_ God I hope not._

Remus squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, shoving the book back onto the shelf. He walked down the aisle once more, his eyes falling onto a book about werewolves. 

_Ahh, it's you._

_ Yes, it's me, once a month._

_ Wonder how Lily felt? Three full moons have past; have you even bothered to check up on her?_

_ Once. Severus is keeping her under tight reign._

_ Yes, but that is her doing, not his._

_ Why?_

_ Why would she want to be treated as if she were a child? Because, my friend, for the first time in her life, she's had to act like an adult._

_ Why?_

_ So many question… We are both aware of how much sleeping with you hurt her, emotionally._

_ Yes. She nearly killed herself._

_ She damn well tried… And you believe it is not your fault?_

_ Of course that is my fault. I should have said no._

_ You couldn't have, you're –_

_ I know. I'm too weak._

_ That and a werewolf. Your animal instincts took over._

_ Were my eyes yellow?_

_ Ask her, I'm sure she'll tell you._

_ When the wolf in me comes out… my eyes turn yellow._

_ Yes, I'm quite aware of that, Remus._

_ So if my eyes were yellow…_

_ Then you were part wolf that night._

_ I didn't mean it._

_ We both know that… But it's your fault._

_ I couldn't help it._

_ So you've said._

_ You don't believe me?_

_ Why should I?_

_ Because you're me._

_ True._

Remus shook his head once more, watching a blonde boy that looked vaguely familiar streak past him. The figure was blurry; his eyes were now fighting back tears he hadn't noticed before. 

_Why now?_

_ It's the perfect time._

_ Why though?_

_ You'll see._

_ I'll see what?_

_ Fate, Remus._

_ Fate?_

_ Yes, Remus. Fate._

_ As in destiny?_

_ There's a fine line between fate and destiny, Remus. Don't cross it._

Remus took a step forward, his eyes blurry and downcast. A moment later, he was thrown to the floor. 

Ignoring the pain in his left shoulder, he looked over to his right, seeing the person who had knocked him over… Or had it been the other way around? 

To his surprise, the person offered their hand to him. He took it gratefully, hoisting his trembling body to its feet. 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry…" It was a woman. 

_ A woman?_

_ Yes, a woman._

_ Destiny?_

_ Fate._

"That… That's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going." Remus stated gruffly, looking up at the woman. 

"Wait… Remus?" His eyes met hers as she said his name. "Remus Lupin?" 

"Yes, and who is this?" He asked, taking in her light blonde hair and slim figure. 

"You don't remember me?" She smiled a bit. "You kissed me once, in our sixth year." 

Realization hit him. "Narcissa? Narcissa Martin?" 

She smiled at me, "It's been a long time, Remus." 

Remus smiled back. "It certainly has."   
  
  
  
**__**

**_I thought love was only true in fairytales_**   
**_Meant for someone else but not for me_**   
**_Oh love was out to get me_**   
**_That's the way it seemed_**   
**_Disappointment haunted_**   
**_All my dreams_****__**

**_Then I saw her face_**   
**_Now I'm a believer_**   
**_Not a trace_**   
**_Of doubt in my mind_**   
**_I'm in love_**   
**_ I'm a believer_**   
**_I couldn't leave her if I tried_****__**

**_I thought love was more or less a givin' thing_**   
**_Seems the more I gave the less I got_**   
**_What's the use in tryin'?_**   
**_All you get is pain_**   
**_When I needed sunshine I got rain_****__**

**_Then I saw her face_**   
**_Now I'm a believer_**   
**_Not a trace_**   
**_Of doubt in my mind_**   
**_I'm in love_**   
**_I'm a believer_**   
**_I couldn't leave her if I tried_**   
**__** **__**

**_Aw love was out to get me_**   
**_Now that's the way it seemed_**   
**_Disappointment haunted_**   
**_All my dreams_****__**

**_Then I saw her face_**   
**_Now I'm a believer_**   
**_Not a trace_**   
**_Of doubt in my mind_**   
**_I'm in love_**   
**_I'm a believer_**   
**_I couldn't leave her if I tried_****__**

**_Yes I saw her face_**   
**_Now I'm a believer_**   
**_ Not a trace_**   
**_Of doubt in my mind_**   
**_Said I'm a believer_**   
**_Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (I'm a believer)_**   
**_Said I'm a believer yeah (I'm a believer)_**   
**_Said I'm a believer yeah yeah, Oh yeah*_**   
**_*I'm A Believer, Smash Mouth_**   
**_(Of course, it was originally done by the Monkees, but the version I listened to while writing this ended up being Smash Mouth's.)_**   



	76. One Day At A Time

snape76 To make up for no chapter yesterday... TWO today!!! Yay!! :o) Small twist in this one, sorry about that...   
Aimee   
  


"Papa, do you realize how important this is?" Lily sighed, unconsciously rubbing her swollen, 5 months pregnant belly. 

"Yes, Lily, I do. But, as I've said before, this is your mess to deal with, not mine." Dumbledore shook his head at his granddaughter as he looked down and began writing something. 

"Do you know how devastated Severus is going to be if the twins end up having brown hair and blue eyes?" Lily said quietly, "How devastated I'll be?" 

"You should have thought of that sooner." Dumbledore said rather sharper than he had wanted to. "Before you went sleeping around." 

"Papa!" Lily exclaimed. The two were back in the Headmaster's office just as the school year was ending, saying their goodbyes. Before Dumbledore had a chance, Lily immediately asked him once more who the father of her babies was. 

"Lily, you know as well as I do you didn't have to sleep with Remus; it wasn't necessary." Dumbledore said, massaging his temple. "And I'm not going to always be around. You need to learn to deal with your mistakes." 

"Becoming a werewolf took about fifty years off my lifespan." Lily grumbled, "Chances are, you'll live longer than me."   
Dumbledore shook his head, "I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you, darling." 

"Did you know that James' parents asked to see Harry last month? For the first time in nearly thirteen years, they ask to see their grandson." Lily sighed, "Why now, of all times?" 

"Life has a peculiar way of - " Dumbledore started. 

" - Of f-cking you at the worst possible time." Lily finished for him, glaring up at the ceiling. "Why though? Believe me, if I had the control to stop it -" 

"Yet you did, Lily. You just didn't realize it." Dumbledore said quietly. Lily looked over at him, her green eyes clouding over a bit. 

"It wasn't my fault." 

Dumbledore sighed, "Of course, it's never your fault." 

"Papa!" Lily exclaimed once more, "You know it's not!" 

"Lily, I know this is hard for you, but you're going to have to grow up and accept the blame every once in a while. You're not a child anymore; you have six wonderful children at home waiting for you. Take care of them." Dumbledore said quietly. 

"It should have been seven." Lily spat angrily, "But that god damned - " 

"If it hadn't been for Voldemort, Harry would have never been born." Dumbledore said. "And how would you feel then? Sacrificing the life of an unborn child for the life of a fourteen year old?"   
  
"He's thirteen." Lily said softly, "He's thirteen and the offspring of the man I hated more than any other in the world." 

"Even Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked. 

"Voldemort was not a man. He wasn't even human." Lily said, leaning back in her chair. 

"Do you hate Harry?" Dumbledore asked, already knowing the answer. 

"Do I hate Harry? What kind of a question is that, Papa? You know very well how much I love him. He's my child - " 

"And, as you said, the child of your greatest enemy." 

"Yes, that too." Lily said softly. "He's even growing up to look exactly like him." 

"Yes, the Potter men do tend to look exactly alike." Dumbledore chuckled. 

"Harry's not a Potter. He's a Snape." Lily corrected her grandfather. Dumbledore nodded, agreeing. 

"Yes, he's very much a Snape. By name and adoption, of course, but not by blood, child. By blood, he's a Potter."   
  
"Since when has blood made any difference?" Lily asked, "Blood is something running through you, it doesn't make you who you are." 

"Yes, it doesn't make you who you are, but without blood, you wouldn't survive." Dumbledore countered. 

"Without family, it's impossible also." Lily said quietly. "So which is more important? Blood or love?" 

"For physical survival, blood." Dumbledore answered, "But for mental survival, love." 

"So if the twins are Remus'… Do you think Severus will reject them?" Lily asked. 

"Perhaps," he answered, "But I don't see it in him to do such a thing." 

"Years ago, people wouldn't have thought twice about answering that with a yes." Lily said. 

"Yes, but as time goes by, people change." 

"He still has the mark…" Lily said quietly, looking at her own arm. "He hates it." 

"He had no choice." Dumbledore said firmly, "Just as Remus didn't have any choice… Just like Harry didn't have a choice. He has that mark because his father made him. Remus slept with you because you subconsciously made him. Harry's father is James because of a fickle thing we've dubbed time." 

Lily shook her head, "I don't think I can do this, Papa." 

"Of course you can." Dumbledore said softly, "You're stronger than any other woman I've had the privilege of knowing. You can do this." 

"What if they are Remus'? I'll never forgive myself… I'll have two constant reminders running around me, calling Severus 'Daddy'. How am I supposed to handle that?" 

"One day at a time, child." Dumbledore said, "One day at a time."   
  
  


Three days later, Harry, Ethan, Lily, and Severus arrived home for the first time in six months. The other children were delighted to see them; Star ran to Harry immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck, refusing to let go. 

"Star-baby, Harry needs to breathe." Severus laughed, watching his youngest child choke Harry. 

"I'm ok!" Harry gasped, peeling the child away from him. "It's good to see you too, Dakota." 

"Why are you so big, Mummy?" Drake asked, poking his mother's stomach with a pudgy finger. She smiled and reached down to ruffle his hair. 

"You guys are going to have two baby brothers or sisters in a few months." She and Severus waited, watching the children's' reaction. 

Drake and Dakota had broke out into immediate smiles. Dea had looked over towards Kaylee for hers, which ended up being shock. Ethan and Harry were calm; they had known for months and were both having a good time watching their siblings babble in surprise. 

"But… Mum…" Kaylee shook her head, making her fiery red hair fall into her face. "I thought you said Dakota was going to be the last sibling?" 

"Sometimes stuff happens that you can't control, darling." Severus said, picking the ten year old up. "You don't mind, of course?" 

Kaylee grinned, "Of course not, Daddy." 

"And Daddy's staying home." Lily smiled down at Dea, who was shaking her head at the news. "So it'll just be the five of us while Harry, Ethan, and Kaylee are at Hogwarts next year." 

Dea's eyes lit up, "Really?" 

"Yes, darling. Really." Severus laughed, hauling her up in his other arm. "You two are getting far too heavy to pick up at the same time!" 

"That's surprising." Lily mused, "Kaylee, darling, are you sure you've been eating?" 

Kaylee was one hundred and twenty seven centimeters tall, weighing in at only twenty-four kilos _(A/N: That's four and a quarter feet tall and sixty pounds for all us Americans)_. She was absolutely tiny for her age, while Dea was only two inches shorter than her. 

"Yes, Mum. Jubby tells me to stop eating all the time… He thinks I eat too much." Kaylee answered, resting her head on Severus' shoulder. 

"And do you?" Lily inquired, kneeling down to hug Drake and Dakota. 

"He claims I eat us out of house and home!" Kaylee giggled, squirming for Severus to put her down. 

"As long as you're eating, dear. You got your slim figure from your father -" 

"And your height from your mother." Severus finished for Lily, a smile playing across his lips.   
  
  
  


That night, Lily lay in bed while Severus leaned against the window, watching the waning half-moon glide slowly across the dark sky. 

_ What's wrong, Sev? Come to bed.___

_ Lily, love, I'm not tired.___

_ Well, I certainly can't sleep without you here.___

_ Sorry, love.___

_ That's quite all right, Sev… What's wrong?___

_ Restless.___

_ Take a potion.___

_ Only if I must._   
  
_ In fifteen minutes, if you're not back next to me, you're taking one.___

_ I promise, love, I will be._

Just as Severus finished his thought, a snow-white owl appeared on the window sill, tapping the glass expectantly. Severus immediately opened the window and relieved the creature of it's burden. Just as Severus started opening the letter, the owl disappeared into the night. 

"Who's it from?" Lily asked sleepily, yawning. 

"Hogwarts, it looks like." Severus answered, unrolling the parchment. After a moment of silence, he gasped and dropped the piece of parchment. He picked it up with shaking hands, reading it once more with disbelieving eyes. 

"Sev, what is it?" Lily asked, concerned. Severus looked at her with shock written across his face. 

He walked over to her side of the bed, wrapping his arms around her before he spoke. 

"God… Lily, your Papa… He's dead."   
  
  


**_Some say love it is a river_**   
**_That drowns the tender reed._**   
**_Some say love it is a razor_**   
**_That leaves your soul to bleed._****__**

**_Some say love it is a hunger_**   
**_An endless, aching need_**   
**_I say love it is a flower,_**   
**_And you it's only seed._****__**

**_It's the heart afraid of breaking_**   
**_That never learns to dance_**   
**_It's the dream afraid of waking_**   
**_That never takes the chance_****__**

**_It's the one who won't be taken,_**   
**_Who cannot seem to give_**   
**_And the soul afraid of dying_**   
**_That never learns to live._****__**

**_And the night has been too lonely_**   
**_And the road has been too long._**   
**_And you think that love is only_**   
**_For the lucky and the strong._****__**

**_Just remember in the winter_**   
**_Far beneath the bitter snow_**   
**_Lies the seed that with the sun's love,_**   
**_In the spring, becomes a rose*_**   
**_*LeAnn Rimes, "The Rose"_**   
**_(This version, at least... Once again, I listened to it as I wrote.)_**


	77. Apple Of Your Eyes

snape77 Let's see if I can battle my way through ff.net and post this for you guys... How many of you hate me right now? :o) There's a reaosn, I guess... Or else my fingers were just getting a bit crazy and felt like killing one of my characters... Nah, I would never do that. Would I? Kidding.   
Aimee   
  


Draco was met at Platform 9 ¾ by his nurse, Marion; a short, slim woman in her late 50's that had taken care of him for his entire life. He hated her. 

"How was your school year, dear?" Marion asked as the two stepped into the limousine provided for him. Draco sat down as far away from the woman as he possibly could. 

"Same as always." He replied, gazing out at the crowded London streets. "Why didn't Mother come?" 

He didn't know why he bothered asking; she never came. Marion always picked him up from the Hogwarts Express, it was a given. Not that Narcissa was a bad mother; she just didn't want to leave the safety and security of the Malfoy Manor. 

"She was entertaining a guest." Marion answered, ringing her hands nervously. 

"Really?" Draco asked, surprised. "And whom might the lucky man be?" 

"Why do you assume her guest is a man?" Marion asked. 

Draco smirked, "In all the years I've been alive, Marion, I can not once remember a time she had a female friend over for dinner or any other occasion, alone. Never. Possibly with a husband, or at a party, but never alone." 

"Keen observation, young Malfoy." Marion nodded, "Your father would be proud." 

"Don't you dare mention that bastard in my presence!" Draco exploded, glaring at the woman. She was used to his outbursts, he knew his yelling wouldn't effect her in any way. 

"Draco, it's been fourteen years. Let it be." Marion murmured as she attempted to pat the boy's knee. Draco hissed as he drew his legs closer to him, his icy blue eyes glaring at the woman. 

"Don't touch me." 

Marion chuckled as she drew her hand back, "My, aren't we a bit testy this afternoon?" 

"'We', Marion, are not anything." Draco snapped just as the vehicle lurched ahead quickly. Turning around and facing the driver, he sneered. "What the bloody hell was that?" 

Not bothering to wait for an answer, he turned back around and took to gazing out the window for the rest of the journey, ignoring any questions from Marion. 

The limousine stopped in front of the Manor Gates and the driver unloaded Draco's trunk as he walked briskly up the walkway, knocking on the heavy oak doors three times. 

He stepped back as the doors were pulled open by an assortment of house elves, revealing an empty foyer. Not expecting anything else, Draco stepped in as three house elves ran out to assist Marion with his trunk. He walked into the parlor and then the living room, expecting to see his mother sitting there with whichever guest she had over. However, both the parlor and living room was empty, much to Draco's surprise. 

"Marion!" Draco bellowed, "Where is my mother?" 

Marion came into the room, Draco's cloak folded onto her right arm. "She's upstairs, I believe. Shall I alert her that you've arrived?" 

"I can do it myself." Draco insisted, brushing past the woman in his unexplained urgency to see his mother. Taking the steps two at a time, he came to the cream coloured door leading into Narcissa's room. He knocked firmly, waiting for the door to open. 

He heard the lock undo with a click, and before he could react to the opening doors, he was smothered. 

"Mum!" he exclaimed, struggling against her embrace, "I need to breathe!" 

Narcissa gradually let go of her son, her long blonde hair falling into her face. "When did you get home? I didn't hear you come in." 

"A few minute ago." Draco gasped, still trying to catch his breath. "Marion said someone was here. Who is it?" 

Narcissa grinned broadly and stepped back, exposing the man behind her. "Draco, you've met Mr. Lupin, haven't you?" 

Draco's eyes widened with surprise. "Professor Lupin?" 

Remus nodded, stepping forward and extending his hand. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Malfoy." 

Draco took his hand politely, shaking it firmly. "Not to be blunt, but what are you doing here?" 

"Mr. Lupin and I go way back, Draco." Narcissa explained, "We ran into Diagon Alley a few months ago and I've invited him over quite a few times." 

Draco nodded curtly, "Mother, may I please speak to you alone for a moment?" 

Remus stepped out of the room as Narcissa nodded, and with a meaningful look towards Remus, she closed the door behind her. 

"How was your school year, Draco? Remus told me about your little exploit with that Snape boy." Narcissa commented, walking over to a plush armchair and gracefully sitting down. 

"I succeeded in making his life hell for quite a few months, Mother." Draco answered snidely, "Which was of course my main point." 

Narcissa raised a carefully done eyebrow, "You still do not go around kissing members of the same gender in front of the whole school, Draco." 

"And you, mother. I would expect more from you than a werewolf." 

"What is that supposed to mean, young man?" Narcissa snapped. 

"You and Professor Lupin – he's the first of your 'guests' to ever come into the room you shared with my father. I'm sure that means something, yes?" Draco shot back, crossing his arms. 

"Remus and I are dating, yes." Narcissa admitted, avoiding her son's glare, "But the fact that I was married once before shouldn't stop me from being able to have a life, Draco." 

"I know Professor Lupin, Mum. I know he's a good man – as good as a Gryffindor werewolf can get." Draco spat out. "However, I would have thought my father meant more to you than that." 

"Lucius is dead, Draco." Narcissa sighed, "Get it through your head. If he's not physically dead by now, he's mentally dead and has been for nearly ten years now." 

"That doesn't mean you have the right to go around and make a fool of yourself with other men!" Draco exclaimed. 

"Look who's talking. I didn't go up and kiss the Boy Who Lived, now, did I?" Narcissa growled. 

"His name's Harry, Mum." Draco muttered through clenched teeth. 

"Fancy him, do you?" Narcissa smirked. "I would have never thought the son of Lucius Malfoy would end up a queer." 

"I am NOT queer!" Draco yelled, balling his hands in fists of rage. "It was a joke, Mother, nothing more. I do not FANCY that scum…. The scum that took my father and YOUR husband away. Never." 

"What's your problem, Draco?" Narcissa sighed. "Or are you just looking to argue?" 

Draco shook his head, "I don't have a problem with Professor Lupin, Mother. I have a problem with the fact you have refused to acknowledge my father's existence for the better part of my entire life. I have a problem with the fact you expect me to accept any play toy of yours that comes walking through that door, no questions asked." 

"I don't expect you to accept Remus-" Narcissa started before Draco interrupted her. 

"I know Professor Lupin, Mother. I do not have a problem with him." Draco growled, crossing his arms. 

"And I wish to forget your father, Draco. He was a bastard. That is why I rarely mention him." Narcissa said quietly. "The only good thing he ever did in his entire life is give me you." 

Draco sighed as silence filled the room. "Is it serious?" 

"Yes, it's serious." Narcissa answered. 

"Do you love him?" 

Narcissa paused before she answered. "I love him more than I ever loved Lucius." 

"I suppose that's not saying a lot, now, is it?" Draco grumbled, "Are you two getting married?" 

Narcissa smiled, "No, Draco. Do you see a ring on my finger?" 

Draco smiled a bit, "As long as you don't marry the poor man… He has enough to deal with already."   
  
  
  


_When you're lost_   
_I am found_   
_When you slip_   
_I hold my ground_   
_When I fall_   
_Please take a bow_   
_And when you're up_   
_Just remember I am down___

_People looking for_   
_Fortune and fame_   
_They don't know_   
_That it's all the same_   
_It's like any other game_   
_You know there's a loser_   
_But it's all right___

**_When you feel your heart is breaking_**   
**_When all your friends are faking_**   
**_When it's giving and no taking_**   
**_I will be by your side_**__

_I've been over the hill and back_   
_Survived every kind of attack_   
_It's been a few years at that_   
_As a matter of fact___

_Good luck is just good luck_   
_You don't go hungry if you got pot luck_   
_I've been down_   
_But never on my knees_   
_I see the forest for the trees_**__**

**_When you feel your heart is breaking_**   
**_When all your friends are faking_**   
**_When it's giving and no taking_**   
**_I will be by your side_****__**

**_When you feel your heart is breaking_**   
**_When all your friends are faking_**   
**_When its giving and no taking_**   
**_I will be by your side*_**   
_*The Black Crowes, By Your Side (How can you not love this song?)_


	78. All Alone

snape78 Keep in mind while you're reading this chapter; Describing the feeling you get when a loved one dies is impossible. I've tried my best, but for you to truly know, you'd have to go through an experience I hope none of you have to go through in your life, but it's inevitable. Sorry about not posting the other chapter last night... ff.net was being a complete and total brat, as always. I saw A.I.; For anyone that's ever seen a Stanley Kubrick movie and enjoyed it, see it. If you haven't and think it's more or less a child or Disney movie, don't see it. You won't like it.   
Aimee   
  


Thoughts ran through her mind at an alarming speed; even Severus could not understand them. Her body tensed up as disbelief flooded her mind. 

"He – what?" Lily asked Severus, breaking away from his grip to look up at him. "Impossible." 

"Lily, love, I'm so sorry…" Severus handed her the letter and he could hear her pronounce each word in her head slowly. 

_ Dear Severus and Lily,_

_ I'm sorry to inform you that Albus Dumbledore passed away just a few short hours ago, due to his high age. The cause of death has been deemed natural causes. As Lily is his next of kin, I have been asked to discuss arrangements with you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I am sure we will all miss him._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Minerva McGonagall_

Lily set the parchment down with shaking hands. "She's lying." 

"Lily… Come here." Severus wrapped his arms around her once more, "He was old… He was tired. He lived his life. Even magic can not prevent death, love. You know that." 

"It's impossible!" Lily sobbed quietly, finally giving in and burying her head into Severus' shoulder. "He's Papa! He can't die!" 

"I'm so sorry, love." Severus sighed, hugging her tighter. 

After what seemed like an hour, Lily looked up at her husband, her green eyes full of tears. "He knew. He knew and he wouldn't tell me…" 

"Knew what, Lily?" Severus asked, stroking her hair softly. 

"He knew… about everything… about the twins…" 

Severus shook his head and Lily buried her face in his shoulder once more. "Lily, love, this is no time to be thinking about such things… Here, lay down with me, you'll be more comfortable." 

Lily obliged and curled into a ball the best she could, laying her head on Severus' chest. "Why, Sev? He's gone… This is it. It's just us now. Mum and Dad have been gone for how many years? Seven, now? And…" 

"And I've never had any proper parenting to speak of, even if the bastard's still alive." Severus growled at the memory of his father. 

"We're alone…" Lily sobbed quietly, "He's gone…" 

Severus kissed her forehead gently as he willed himself not to let the tears forming in his eyes get the better of him. "Lily, love, it'll be ok…" 

"No it won't..." Lily sniffed, "It's never going to be the same… He's gone." 

Severus sighed, pulling her as close to him as possible. "We still have each other and the children. We'll live through this… you'll live through this." 

"He's gone…" Lily whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and then blinking. "He's really gone. He's dead." 

"He's only gone in body, not spirit." Severus said quietly, rubbing her back gently. "You know he wouldn't want to cry over him. He's always going to be with you, love. He's watching over you, just like your Mum and Dad…" 

"You promise?" Lily sniffed, gripping the cloth of Severus' shirt tightly. 

"Yes, love." Severus sighed, kissing the top of her head as she closed her eyes.   
  


The next morning, Lily awoke to the sunlight streaming through the windows and the babies kicking the inside of her stomach softly. Forgetting why it felt as if a lead weight had settled itself inside of her, she prodded Severus gently and took his left hand, placing it on the exact spot the little feet were moving. 

"Sev…" Lily whispered in his ear, "Wake up." 

He smiled before opening his eyes; as he did, his smile faded as the events of the night prior came rushing back to him. 

"They're kicking." Lily said softly, her green eyes lighting up. 

"'Morning, love." Severus said gently, "How are you feeling?" 

It was as if a tidal wave had come crashing into her; the letter, the hours spent crying softly, unable to sleep… 

"It wasn't a dream?" she asked timidly. 

Severus shook his head, snaking his arms around her. "No, baby. It wasn't." 

Lily breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. After a moment, she opened them once more, fighting back the tears. "Can you tell the children for me?" 

"Of course." Severus whispered. "Are you going to be ok?" 

Lily nodded slightly. "I want to write Professor McGonagall back… She told me to… I have to." 

"Ok." Severus nodded, kissing her lightly. "I'm going to get up now… Will you be all right on your own, or do you want me to stay here?" 

"I'll be ok." Lily said, moving herself into the warm indent in the mattress after Severus stood up. "I'm just going to lay here for a while… I'll be ok." 

Severus smiled weakly and nodded, running his hand down her arm. He quickly dressed and left the room, leaving Lily, who was silently crying once more. 

After what seemed like eternity, she shakily stood up and dressed herself, not bothering to look in the full length mirror standing on the wall across from the bed. She backed out of the room, looking through the sunlight-ridden windows until she reached the door. 

Walking down the hall and stairs seemed to take forever; each step was harder and more intense than the step before it. She slowly made her way to the sitting room, where Severus had gathered all the children. The room was silent; he had just finished explaining to Drake and Dakota why their grandfather would never be coming back. 

She was met with seven pairs of eyes starring up at her and she entered the room. She met only Harry's, seeing his own green eyes red and his skin pale. 

_This can't be happening._

_ It is, love._

_ Why? Look at them… They don't understand._

_ Harry and Ethan do, love._

_ The rest… Drake, Dakota, they don't even know the meaning of the word._

_ They understand now, Lily._

_ But why?_

_ Sit next to me… Yes, now, look at them._

_ They're crying._

_ And looking at us for support._

_ I can't give it to them now._

_ You must, love._

_ But why?_

_ You're their mother… They love you… They're counting on you and I to be strong._

_ I can't be strong._

_ Lily, love, listen to me. Be strong for them… As long as the sun's up, be strong. But when the moon comes up, I'll be strong for you. You don't have to be… ok?_

_ Sev…_

_ Please, Lily. Look at them… You have to be._

Lily sighed as Severus wrapped his arm around her shoulders, her eyes gazing at each child in turn. Dakota was too young to grasp the concept and was only feeding off of her sibling's pain. Drake understood as much as any six year old child might. Dea was feeding off of Kaylee's emotions; depression and the anger that was starting to settle in to the ten-year-olds body. 

Ethan looked as if he had been bawling; his eyes were red and swollen and tears were stilling making their way down his red cheeks. He was wringing his hands nervously, yet starring off into space. 

Harry had been crying, Lily could tell. His eyes were rimmed with red and she could just make out the tiny trail of tears that had rolled down his cheeks. However, he had stopped now, and he was surveying his parents with a sympathy. 

"I'm sorry, guys." Lily said softly, looking down at her hands. "Professor McGonagall said it was painless… He died in his sleep. He didn't feel any pain, ok?" 

_Lily, love, you don't know that._

_ It will make them feel better._

_ What good is lying to them going to do?_

_ We don't know it's a lie._

Severus sighed once more as the family all looked at each other, all fighting an internal battle between their minds and their hearts. Knowing that this was what was left; there was no Papa to look up to now, it was just them.   
  
  


**_Do you still remember, how we used to be_**   
**_Feeling together, believe in whatever_**   
**_My love has said to me_****__**

**_Both of us were dreamers, Young love in the sun_**   
**_Felt like my saviour, My spirit I gave you_**   
**_We'd only just begun_****__**

**_Hasta Manana, Always be mine_**   
**_Viva Forever, I'll be waiting_**   
**_Everlasting, Like the sun_**   
**_Live Forever, for the moment_**   
**_Ever searching, for the one_****__**

**_Yes I still remember, every whispered word_**   
**_The touch of your skin, giving life from within_**   
**_Like a love song that I've heard_****__**

**_Slipping through our fingers, like the sands of time_**   
**_Promises made, every memory saved_**   
**_Has reflections in my mind_**   
**_Hasta Manana, always be mine_****__**

**_Viva Forever, I'll be waiting_**   
**_Everlasting, Like the sun_**   
**_Live Forever, For the moment_**   
**_Ever searching, for the one_****__**

**_But we're all alone, was it just a dream_**   
**_Feelings untold, They will never be sold_**   
**_And the secrets safe with me_**   
**_Hasta Manana, always be mine_****__**

**_Viva Forever, I'll be waiting_**   
**_Everlasting, Like the sun_**   
**_Live Forever, for the moment_**   
**_Ever searching, for the one*_**   
**_*Spice Girls, Viva Forever_**   
__


	79. Lonely Street Of Dreams

snape79 I'm sorry! *sobs* I don't update for one day and you guys get on my tail... *sniff* I've spoiled you guys. Well... I might have two chapters up today, depends if I can figure out what to do for the next chapter... Funny how I have everything planned out, I just don't know where and when to stick things in. I've seen three movies in the past three days... A.I., Crazy/Beautiful, and Moulin Rouge. Awesome... :o) Enjoy.   
Aimee   


**_"The best thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved."_** - Not exact, I don't think (correct me if I'm wrong, please), but the main quote from Moulin Rouge... Which just happens to fit in with this chapter... yay!   


"So what do you think?" 

It was mid-July; Lily was due in two months and Remus hadn't seen her for five. However, his attitude was bordering on glee, not fear or anger. He had been seeing Narcissa for four months now, and Draco had accepted the fact without any problems. It was more than he could hope for. 

"Don't you find any of this the least bit strange?" Sirius asked calmly one night, as the two sat down for dinner. 

"Of course," Remus replied. "All of the time." 

Sirius shook his head, "You never were one to back down… Have you spoken to Lily lately?" 

Remus shook his head, "No, I haven't. I don't suppose I should?" 

"Yes, you should. See how she's doing and all." Sirius stuck a forkful of food in his mouth before continuing. "Although I'm sure Severus is taking perfect care of her." 

Remus smirked and shook his head, "As always. She's his obsession." 

"I suppose it's better than Severus hating her." 

"And if Severus hated her, why would they be married?" 

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose… Then you'd be able to move in." 

Remus shook his head, "No, I have Narcissa." 

"Then I would." Sirius smirked, looking up at his friend. "You wouldn't mind, would you?" 

Remus laughed; "Of course not, Padfoot." 

Sirius grinned and threw his arms up in the air, "The lily is MINE!" 

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Remus smirked, "Severus isn't going to hate Lily in a million years… He's far too forgiving." 

Sirius shook his head, "She's his weakness." 

"His kryptonite." 

Sirius gave Remus a blank look. "Pardon?" 

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, "Don't tell me you've never heard of Superman!" 

Sirius tilted his head in a bemused sort of way. "Can't say that I have." 

Remus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Sirius, Sirius, Sirius… what am I ever going to do with you?" 

"Feed me to the dogs, I suppose." Sirius gave his a crooked grin. "Although… If they're female, I can assure you I wouldn't mind." 

Remus shook his head, disgusted. "You wouldn't, would you?" 

"Ol' Padfoot still has a few tricks up his sleeves." Sirius grinned, taking another bite of his meal. 

"I suppose you do." Remus laughed. 

The next few minutes passed in silence before Sirius dared to ask a question that had been bothering him ever since he had first found out about Remus' and Narcissa's escapades. 

"Does she know you're a werewolf?" he asked softly, daring to look up and meet his best friend's amber eyes. 

"Of course not." Remus answered, "And I'd like to keep it that way, if you please." 

Sirius was silent for a moment. "When are you planning on telling her?" 

Remus shrugged, "Whenever the timing seems right." 

"You need to let her know, Mooney." 

"I know. I will." 

"Soon." Sirius said firmly. "Or else, when you do tell her, it'll turn into a disaster." 

Remus looked up at Sirius, "Yes, I'm quite aware of that." 

"I know you are, Mooney." Sirius said quietly, "Just remind yourself." 

Silence filled the room once more. Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair once he was finished, looking at Remus with curious eyes. 

"So how do you really feel about Lily?" 

Remus looked up from his plate, eyebrows raised. "How do you think I feel?" 

"Confused. Lost, maybe. Angry, either at yourself or Severus for claiming her before you had the chance." 

"She wasn't some property to claim." Remus growled slightly. 

"So you do admit you still have feelings for her." 

"Of course!" Remus exclaimed. "As much as you and James liked to think I wasn't, I had never been in that – serious – of a relationship before." 

Sirius nearly choked. "You were a virgin?!" 

"I'm a god damned werewolf, Sirius. What do you think?" 

Sirius shook his head, "That really shouldn't matter." 

"It does." Remus said firmly. "Narcissa… I don't know. She's the first woman I've been able to get close to in years. Even then, I'm afraid of what she may do if she ever found out. My whole god damned life revolves around the one time a month I turn into a monster… Lily was the first person I ever slept with and the first human I had ever bitten. How do you think I feel?" 

Sirius was quiet, thoughts running through his mind. He sighed before he spoke, his voice trembling a bit. 

"Mad as bloody hell." 

"At myself, for doing that to her." 

"And Severus, for keeping her away from you." 

"He's had every right to." 

"You two are FRIENDS, Mooney. He has no right to control Lily's life." 

"He's not… If she wanted to see me, she would." 

"Even if she doesn't want to face you at the moment, I know for a fact you want to see her." 

"Well," Remus spat bitterly, "We don't always get what we want, now, do we?" 

"You have to at least try." Sirius said. "You shouldn't give up." 

It was Remus' turn to be silent, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally spoke. 

"Do you know how I felt when you and James found out?" 

It was an unspoken rule between them; never say the traitor's name, never acknowledge the fact he had lived as one of them for so long. 

"No, I don't." Sirius spoke just as quietly as Remus had. 

"I didn't know whether to be thankful I finally had friends or terrified you would all come to your senses and kick me to the curb. I wanted to fly, I was so happy… yet at the same time, I was torturing myself with 'what if?'s , asking myself what if it was all a ploy to somehow kill me and such. I was so scared you two would tell the rest of the school… I was torn between the first true happiness I had ever felt and the usual chains of terror that were always with me." 

"But we stayed with you." Sirius said quietly, "You should stay with her. You're the only one she knows of that goes through the same things each time… Severus may be her husband, but you're the person she needs right now. The full moon's come and gone five times now… Soon to be six. She's just as scared as you are, possibly more." 

"She doesn't need me." Remus shook his head. 

"Damnit Mooney, listen to me! She needs her friends right now more than anything… You, me… We're the only ones that know the real story behind all of this madness. She needs someone to talk to, you know that. Especially with Dumbledore gone…" Sirius sighed, shaking his head, "It hit her hard, you know that. She needs us." 

Remus eyed his friend, "Fine. I'll owl her later, see if she wants to speak with us." 

"With you." Sirius corrected. "The 'us' comes later." 

"Fine." Remus shook his head, "I'll kill you if she rejects me." 

"She won't." Sirius said confidently. "If she does, I'll try to talk some sense into her. If Severus replies, the motion to kill me doesn't stand. Got that?" 

Remus smiled a bit, "Yes, Padfoot." 

"Much better." 

"Much better what?" 

"You weren't smiling." 

"Glad to know you're so concerned for my well being." 

"Always, Mooney." 

"I'm sure." 

**_I don't know where I'm going_**   
**_But I sure know where I've been_**   
**_Hanging on the promises in the songs of yesterday_**   
**_And I've made up my mind_**   
**_I ain't wasting no more time_**   
**_Here I go again_**   
**_Here I go again_****__**

**_Though I keep searching for an answer_**   
**_I never seem to find what I'm looking for_**   
**_Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on_**   
**_'Cos I know what it means_**   
**_To walk along the lonely street of dreams_****__**

**_Here I go again on my own_**   
**_Going down the only road I've ever known_**   
**_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone_**   
**_And I've made up my mind_**   
**_I ain't wasting no more time_****__**

**_I'm just another heart in need of rescue_**   
**_Waiting on love's sweet charity_**   
**_And I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days_**   
**_'Cos I know what it means_**   
**_To walk along the lonely street of dreams_****__**

**_Here I go again on my own_**   
**_Going down the only road I've ever known_**   
**_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone_**   
**_And I've made up my mind_**   
**_I ain't wasting no more time_**   
**_But here I go again_**   
**_Here I go again_**   
**_Here I go again_**   
**_Here I go_****__**

**_And I've made up my mind_**   
**_I ain't wasting no more time_****__**

**_'Cos I know what it means_**   
**_To walk along the lonely street of dreams_****__**

**_Here I go again on my own_**   
**_Going down the only road I've ever known_**   
**_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone_**   
**_And I've made up my mind_**   
**_I ain't wasting no more time_****__**

**_Here I go again on my own_**   
**_Going down the only road I've ever known_**   
**_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone_**   
**_'Cos I know what it means_**   
**_To walk along the lonely street of dreams...*_**   
**_*Whitesnake, Here I Go Again_**   
**_(Ok, how goshdarn perfect is this song for Remus? If you didn't read the lyrics, go back and do so NOW. They're perfect, I swear... and I love this song, which is an extra littke 'omph'. :o) )_**


	80. Soundtrack To Life

snape80 *Breathes heavily* You guys BETTER love me... This took me three hours to write, and it never takes me that long to write a chapter... That doesn't count the CD hunting and such. :o) This is an extremely... odd... chapter, so read with caution. Random characters break out in song. Blame it on something I ate (but can't remember eating) and Moulin Rouge. Enjoy... Please, if you think it was a bit too weird, flame. I like flames. Actually... I haven't really gotten one yet, besides the usual "JAMES WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!" No one's perfect, not even JK's characters. :o)   
Aimee   
  


Within a week, Lily had agreed to meet Remus at the Leaky Cauldron, away from Severus, Sirius, and the children. At first glance, the two had instinctively looked away, both reminded of the events that had taken place between them. 

"Lily, can we talk somewhere more private?" Remus asked quietly as he approached the table she was sitting at, surveying the crowd around them. Lily nodded silently and got up, leading him to a private parlor, complete with three sofas and a glass table in the middle. 

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Lily asked quietly, looking up at the man with tired eyes. 

"I wanted to know how you were doing." Remus admitted, eyeing her swollen belly. "How far along are you?" 

He didn't need to ask; he knew, down to the day. 

"Nearly eight months." 

Remus smiled, "Wow." 

Lily smiled back, "Yeah, really." A moment later, her eyes widened in surprise as a true smile passed over her face. She grabbed Remus' hand and placed it on her swollen belly, looking up expectantly for his reaction. 

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he felt the babies kick. "What are they doing?" 

Lily grinned; "They like you." 

Remus' expression relaxed as he smiled. "They do?" 

"Only person they've done this for is…." Her voice faltered. 

"Severus?" Remus asked gently. Lily looked up at him and nodded. "How is he, by the way?" 

"He's good." Lily replied, her eyes slightly downcast. "He loves being home." 

"I can imagine." Remus smiled warmly. "And how are the Full Moons going?" 

Lily sighed. "They still hurt." 

"They always will." Remus said quietly, "The pain's always there. After thirty years, I like to think I've become immune, but that's not true… Not true at all." 

Lily sighed, looking slightly deflated. Looking up at him once more, she spoke. "Remus, I have something to tell you." 

"And I have something to ask of you." Remus said in return. "But you first." 

"No, go ahead." Lily insisted. 

"Can we still be friends? This silence between us… It's unbearable." Remus admitted. 

Lily's face broke out into a smile. "Of course we can." 

Remus grinned back, "Good, because I've missed you." 

Standing up in front of her, he cleared his throat. 

** (Somewhere, off stage, the sound of music can be heard.)**

"Must be the pull of the full moon that makes me feel so strange…I haven't been myself of late, I feel a bit deranged…" 

The sound of Remus singing startled Lily, before she looked off at the director, who was smiling contently. 

"Hello, why has the werewolf suddenly started singing?" Lily asked. The director just shrugged, and then started dancing with the lighting director. 

"Must be the lure of the planets that makes me feel unhinged… Is that the cry of the Pleiades way out upon the fringe?" 

Remus jumped up on to the table, continuing. Meanwhile, Lily started to bob her feet up and down in time to the music. 

"Must be a vagrant moon… tossed like a lost balloon. The moon is on the rise. These aren't tears, it's moonlight in my eyes…" 

Remus offered his hand to the woman, a grin on his face. Blushing, Lily accepted and hopped up on the table, and then started dancing with Remus, singing along. 

"I think it's all such a mystery, I have a difficult history. I took a terrible fall you see… It's really nothing at all to me…. But on a night like tonight, and with the stars in my eyes, I could get lost in the undertow…" 

Suddenly, the whole cast came out of their dressing rooms and watched with amazed looks at the two werewolves dancing on the table together. Both Severus and Narcissa rush forward, before a surely looking man stops them. 

"Still many people surmise… That it's the pull of the full moon that trips you up when you fall. Still, I can say with some certainty… but no, I don't recall." 

With the ending of the song, the two looked at each other, slightly flustered, the stepped off the table, Remus helping Lily. The crew and cast retreat back to their positions as filming continues. 

"You have no idea how dreadful it is to be stuck in a house with six children twenty four hours a day in July… I could use a friend." Lily smiled. Silence once again fills the air, but this time, it's a comfortable silence. 

"So what is it you wanted to tell me?" Remus asked, looking up at his once-again friend. 

"I…" Lily's voice faltered once more. "I'm sorry." 

Remus looked surprised. "What are you sorry for? None of this is your fault." 

"Yes, it is." Lily looked up at him this time. "I made you do it." 

Remus was now looking startled; "Pardon?" 

"I… You know I can read minds, right?" 

"No, I didn't." Remus was now wearing an expression of a deer caught in the headlights. 

"I'm not right now, don't worry." Lily smiled. "But… Along with that comes controlling someone." 

She allowed this to sink in before she continued. "I… Severus asked to see that… time… and I showed him… We can do that, transfer memories and such… He told me I was controlling you… You couldn't help it. I didn't know I was, I'm so sorry!" 

Remus shook his head, "That explains a lot, actually." 

"Are you mad?" Lily said quietly, looking down at her hands. "Do you hate me?" 

"Hate you?" Remus asked, surprised. "Of course not! I'm sure you didn't want me to do that…" 

"Yes, I did. Subconciously, though… I didn't want all of this to happen, but I guess a part of my mind did." Lily admitted. "I'm sorry." 

"It's ok." Remus said quietly, "I don't blame you." 

"You should." Lily said, "You biting me… That was my fault, too. I should have just Apparated from your house." 

"Mistakes happen." Remus said. "You really couldn't help it."   
  
Lily sighed. "No matter what happens, though… You're still my best friend." 

Remus smiled, "Even over Severus?" 

Lily blanched. "Severus is an excellent husband… he's excellent with the children, an excellent father, and excellent in bed, but he's not too friendly when we're not alone. I can talk to him and such about anything, really, but it's nice to have someone else to bounce ideas off of." 

Remus smiled, "Friends then?" He stuck out his hand. 

Lily smiled back and took his hand in her own pale one. "Friends."   
  


_Sev, love… I'm home._

Lily arrived back at the mansion an hour later, after having one of the best conversations of her life. 

_I'm in the bedroom… How did it go?___

_ It went much better than I expected.___

_ Well, that's good. Did you tell him?___

_ Yes.___

_ And what did he say?___

_ He immediately started making excuses._   
  
_ Sounds just like him._

Lily opened the door and found Severus sprawled out across the bed, eyes close and shirtless. 

_My, my… What do we have here?___

_ I'm tired.___

_ It's only nine in the evening… It's barely even dusk._   
  
_ All the children are in bed… Harry and Ethan are in their rooms awake, however._

Lily smiled and walked over to the wall connecting their room to Harry's. Knocking on it slightly, she waited and grinned when she received a knock back. **(A/N: I used to do this with my Dad all the time… Still do, actually, but it used to be the wall my bed was up against was by the bathroom wall… 5 AM, each and every morning. But, then I moved… and moved again.)**

_Mind if I join you?___

_ Of course not… But does this mean I'll have to move, love?___

_ I could sit on you.___

_ Ouch… I'll move._

Lily laughed as Severus rolled over on to his side of the bed, making room for his wife. She quickly changed into an extra large, long shirt and climbed in next to him, not bothering with blankets. 

_No shorts tonight?___

_ No shorts for the past month… Don't fit.___

_ So sorry, love.___

_ It's not your fault.___

_ Yes, it is.___

_ Well… ok… it is. But you're suffering.___

_ No sex for seven months now! How's a man supposed to survive?___

_ Like he did before he met the girl of his dreams.___

_ I haven't met Princess Diana yet, love.___

Lily proceeded to take a pillow and whack him in the stomach as hard as she could. He laughed and poked her in the sides gently, making her squirm.__

_ You're still the most sensitive creature I've ever slept with, love.___

_ I should hope so.___

_ I even threaten to tickle you…___

_ Don't you dare. You'll be sleeping on the couch in the living room for a week.___

_ Not that it would make much difference…___

_ Shush.___

_ You know I'm teasing you, love._

Lily smiled as Severus wrapped his around her, allowing her to rest her head under his chin. He kissed the top of her head lightly, his left palm rested against her swollen stomach. 

_Only a month more.___

_ Then a pair of screaming babies.___

_ Now, really, love. Only Ethan and Kaylee screamed loudly.___

_ You didn't have to live with Harry until he was past the 'screaming loudly' phase.___

_ True.___

_ Yes… Very true._

Lily caught a jumble of thoughts not directed towards her, but before she could catch them, they disappeared, lost in Severus' mind. 

_Ever wonder how things would be if we never got together?___

_ I'd be dead, for one.___

_ Why do you say that, love?___

_ I would have allowed Voldemort to kill me, protecting Harry. Without you, he… he's my life. They're all our children, I love them each dearly, but… I don't want to say I love him more, but I love him in such a way that tends to surpass the other children.___

_ You trust him more.___

_ Yes…___

_ It's understandable. He's your first-born, the one you experienced so much with… He has a different father.___

_ That doesn't matter, Sev.___

_ Yes, I know, love.___

_ Life would be horrible without you.___

_ And I can say the same for you, love.___

_ My life's been absolutely perfect with you._

** (The candles dim and music starts from some unknown place.)**

_Now, love… listen. I've had the time of my life…___

_ Sev? Baby, why are you singing?___

_ Just listen and sing along, love… No I never felt like this before …yes I swear it's the truth… And I owe it all to you …___

_ 'Cause I've had the time of my life … And I owe it all to you…___

_ That was lovely, dear… I've been waiting for so long … now I've finally found someone … to stand by me…___

_ Thank you, Sev… We saw the writing on the wall …as we felt this magical … Fantasy….___

_ Together now, love…___

_ Now with passion in our eyes there's no way we could disguise it secretly… so we take each other's hand 'cause we seem to understand the urgency…___

_ Yes, love… You're getting the hang of it… Just remember…___

_ You're the one thing …___

_ I can't get enough of …___

_ So I'll tell you something… Together now…___

_ This could be love because I've had the time of my life… No I never felt this way before… Yes I swear, it's the truth… And I owe it all to you…___

_ How am I doing, Sev? With my body and soul …I want you more than you'll ever know …___

_ Wonderful, love…So we'll just let it go.. Don't be afraid to lose control, no.___

_ Yes I know what's on your mind … When you say, "Stay with me tonight"…___

_ Just remember you're the one thing… Lily, love.___

_ I can't get enough of… Sev.___

_ So I'll tell you something… Together now…___

_ This could be love because I've had the time of my life… No I never felt this way before… Yes I swear, it's the truth… And I owe it all to you…___

_ That was wonderful, love.___

_ Was it?___

_ Yes, now we have to finish the song.___

_ It's not over yet?___

_ It's quite a long one, love…___

_ Now I've had the time of my life, no I never felt this way before… Yes I swear it's the truth… And I owe it all to you___

_ You're doing great, love… I've had the time of my life …No I never felt this way before …Yes I swear it's the truth …And I owe it all to you…. Now with me, Lil.___

_ 'Cause I've had the time of my life… And I've searched though every open door … Till I found the truth … And I owe it all to you….___

_ That was gorgeous, love.___

_ Thank you Sev… Now, please, can we get some sleep?___

_ As you wish._   


  
Narcissa awoke two days later to a pair of amber eyes starring at her. She smiled and relaxed, the events of the night before rushing back. 

"Good morning." She greeted the man next to her. 

"And what a wonderful morning it is." Remus smiled for a moment, but then a serious expression took over his face. "'Cissa, I have something to tell you." 

Blinking, she nodded for him to continue. 

"Has Draco ever mentioned something… strange about me?" Remus asked, his eyes glued on Narcissa. She shook her head after racking her brain for memories. 

"No, I can't think of anything." She admitted. 

Remus sighed, "'Cissa, don't hate me… promise you won't hate me." 

Narcissa was immediately alarmed at his behavior; "Of course, Remus! I could never hate you… You know that." 

Remus shook his head, "I've been keeping something from you… You need to know this, I trust you enough to tell you this. I've never told anyone… Everyone who knows, which is an extremely small amount of people, has figured it out after years of observations." 

"I promise I won't hate you… I can't hate you." Narcissa said, moving herself closer to him. 

"'Cissa…" Remus sighed, "I'm a werewolf." 

Narcissa's blue eyes widened with surprise, but her expression quickly changed from that of surprise to relief. 

"Is that all, dear?" she asked, a bemused look on her face. "I thought you were going to tell me you have a wife and three children running around somewhere." 

Remus was shocked. "You mean… You don't mind?" 

"I do mind that you didn't tell me this sooner… But I'm not Lucius, Remus. I don't mind at all. You obviously can't help it." Narcissa smiled.   
  
Remus closed his eyes and grinned. Opening them once more, he kissed her forehead and sighed. 

"And I'd give up forever to touch you… Cuz I know that you feel me somehow… You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be… And I don't want to go home right now." 

"That's so sweet!" Narcissa grinned, leaning back on the pillows. 

"And all I can taste is this moment… And all I can breathe is your life… Cuz sooner or later it's over… I just don't want to miss you tonight." 

"It'll never be over." 

"And I don't want the world to see me… Cuz I don't think that they'd understand… When everything's made to be broken… I just want you to know who I am." 

"I'm glad you told me…" 

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming… Or the moment of truth in your lies… When everything feels like the movies… Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive… And I don't want the world to see me… Cuz I don't think that they'd understand… When everything's made to be broken   
I just want you to know who I am…" 

"I know who you are now." Narcissa grinned and joined him, singing a song that wouldn't be written for a good two years. 

"And I don't want the world to see me… Cuz I don't think that they'd understand… When everything's made to be broken… I just want you to know who I am… I just want you to know who I am… I just want you to know who I am… I just want you to know who I am…" 

Remus turned around and rummaged through his robes before turning back around, a schoolboy grin pasted on to his face. Kissing Narcissa on the cheek, he revealed a velvet black box. 

Narcissa gasped as he opened it; a gold band with diamonds the size of large pebbles was exposed. 

"'Cissa… I love you. Will you marry me?" 

"Yes!" Narcissa exclaimed, throwing her arms around Remus' neck after he had placed the band on her left ring finger. "Yes! Oh God, Remus… I love you too."   


_Late at night when all the world is sleeping_   
_I stay up and think of you_   
_And I wish on a star that somewhere you are_   
_Thinking of me too___

_Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight_   
_Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight_   
_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be_   
_Than here in my room dreaming about you and me___

_Wonder if you ever see me_   
_And I wonder if you know I'm there_   
_If you looked in my eyes_   
_Would you see what's inside?_   
_Would you even care?___

_I just wanna hold you close_   
_But so far all I have are dreams of you_   
_So I wait for the day_   
_And the courage to say how much I love you_   
_Yes I do___

_I'll be dreaming of you tonight_   
_Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight_   
_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be_   
_Than here in my room dreaming about you and me___

_Corazón_   
_I can't stop dreaming of you_   
_No puedo dejar de pensar en ti_   
_I can't stop dreaming_   
_Cómo te necesito_   
_I can't stop dreaming of you_   
_Mi amor, cómo te extraño___

_Late at night when all the world is sleeping_   
_I stay up and think of you_   
_And I still can't believe_   
_That you came up to me and said, "I love you"_   
_I love you too___

_Now I'm dreaming with you tonight_   
_Till tomorrow and for all of my life_   
_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be_   
_Than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly___

_Dreaming of you tonight_   
_Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight_   
_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be_   
_Than here in my room_   
_I'll be dreaming of you tonight_   
_Endlessly_   
_And I'll be holding you tight_   
_Dreaming...with you...tonight*___

_*Selena, Dreaming Of You_

**_(A/N: Thank you SEEKER and Trepidatio [hope I spelled that right... sorry :o)] for helping me with this one...)_******

**(Full Moon, Lisa Vroman - Unknown Show)**   
**(Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes - Dirty Dancing)**   
**(Iris, Goo Goo Dolls - City Of Angels)**   


  



	81. Moment Of A Lifetime (Fever)

snape81 At the moment, it's July 3rd, at 1:16 AM, EST time. (Petunia and Vernon's anniversary... now how many of you guys remembered _that_?) So sorry I can't post this... the server for my internet access tends to shut down at strange times (blame my father... He has total control), therefore I can't access the 'net, therefore I can't post. But how many of you guys have been waiting for this chapter? Hmm... My last one got a good response. It was a once-in-a-story thing, don't worry about it. I have to admit, that was one of the strange things I had ever written. Enjoy... and for all you people with AOL or AOL Instant Messanger out there, TALK TO ME! It's boring, I have a fairly small buddy list and no one's usually on. AngelBornInHe11 (5 points to the person who can tell me what song I got my SN from). Please? I don't bite.   
Aimee   
  


_ She didn't know where she was. The unfamiliarity of the situation ran through her veins like ice; her eyes searched frantically for some sort of handle to hold on to… Anything._

_ The room was white one moment, black the next. He was there one moment, gone the next. However, between the visions of Him and her changing surroundings, she could just make out two other faces;_

_ Remus?_

_ Yes, it had to be… His blue eyes were bright, only as they were when the moon was new. Otherwise, his eyes were amber, just as hers were slowly turning._

_ But… Another. Who was it?_

_ Pain immediately entered her body as she saw who it was. He also had blue eyes; however, they were not warm and caring as Remus' had been, they were cold and distant, as she remembered them._

_ James?_

_ What was his purpose here? Surely he didn't want to see her… Their relationship had ended fifteen years ago._

_ He was dead._

_ If course he was dead… But why?_

_ Pain filled her body once more as she tried to close her eyes, only to find out they were held open by an invisible force she was not aware of, forcing her to look._

_ James… He had forced her._

_ Severus… He had loved her._

_ Remus… Had he loved her too?_

_ Severus once more… Did he still love her?_

_ Of course. Why wouldn't he? She could feel it deep in her mind; she could hear his thoughts, sense his feelings, all those good and of love. The hatred he felt for James had been buried deep inside of his mind, but as the colors changed once more, she was suddenly surrounded by images through his mind._

_ His mother… She had been beautiful. Death had preserved her beauty, and his mind remembered each detail exactly._

_ His father… The bastard._

_ His first glimpse at Hogwarts… He had been amazed. The ceiling, the students, the teachers, the atmosphere… He saw her._

_ He saw her being Sorted: her hair standing out among the others. He felt a sense of warmness wash over him, but didn't dare act upon it._

_ She was a Gryffindor, after all._

_ He had attempted to become friends with Remus on the Hogwarts Express – funny how neither party mentioned it at any point._

_ Then… the moment of realization. The moment his anger and hatred towards James Potter intensified to ten times the amount he already had._

_ She saw herself walking with Sirius Black at her side. He threw his arm around her shoulder and she could see herself wince, even from perhaps five hundred feet away._

_ Ahh… So he knew._

_ Their first kiss… their first true date… their first time…_

_ The day he became a Death Eater._

_ He had been branded; it was more pain than Lily had ever experienced, even through a memory._

_ The courage it took to show her one the Express back to Hogwarts… Perhaps he belonged in Gryffindor, after all?_

_ When she told him about their daughter… The room filled with light. Why?_

_ He was happy. The only times in his memory where he had been truly happy were with her._

_ Why though? What did it all mean?_

_ The day their daughter was taken from them… Anger, hatred, fear._

_ The days following… December 26th, 1977._

_ The moment they were pronounced husband and wife._

_ Papa…_

_ Their last night together._

_ Of course, they were just memories._

_ Their nights together in the Leaky Cauldron… France… The love and hope that came with these memories filled her to the core._

_ Harry… he had been born… God, how it had hurt… But it was worth it. Severus still loved her._

_ When James died. He had been happy… They were together, they didn't have to hide it._

_ Ethan's birth… Kaylee… Dea… Drake, then Dakota._

_ Pain… Immense pain. Remus. His amber eyes… It wasn't the new moon, he was looking at her with such need and want… Who was she to resist him?_

_ No, she had forced him. The need, the want, the love… It was all a spell brought on by the mind._

_ The door opening… Severus stepping in… He had seen them. The hurt that passed through his body, his heart, his soul…_

_ She was unworthy._

_ The pain that followed. She deserved it… She deserved to die. She deserved to never be loved again… She deserved to be hated. She **was** hated._

_ He came back… The love was still there… but why?_

_ She was pregnant. God, how was she ever going to explain this to Severus? He was furious but never let on… Perhaps scared._

_ Of course. He was terrified._

_ The bite… How it had hurt… So painful. She saw Sirius protect her._

_ She should thank him._

_ The pain… Remus… Severus… Papa… it was terrible._

_ Had she done all of this? Why? Surely no one deserved it?_

_ No one did. It was all in her mind._

_ The room changed colors once more, and she wondered… Which was worse? The darkness or the nightmares that filled it?_

_ Where had she heard that before? Many times, she had… Where? She tried to think when she realized something._

_ It was all in her head._

Severus awoke to heavy breathing and a light moaning sound coming from his wife who lay next to him. Touching her cheek gently, he felt the fever that was raging inside of her. 

He shifted his body for a moment before he felt it; wetness. No… It couldn't have been time. She wasn't due for another week… It was too early. 

Dakota had been a month early, he realized. 

_Oh God…_

Severus sighed, standing up and pulling on his robes. 

It was time.   
  



	82. Shadow Of Death

snape82 Once again... It's currently 2:41 AM, EST, and guess who can't get on the 'net? Sorry about that... Pardon the next chapter for being a bit strange, especially towards the end. I really couldn't force my mind to come up with anything unique when it came to wizard-dcotor's methods of doing things... It's almost 3 in the morning, what did you expect? :o) Enjoy.. Feel free to review, no death threats... please?   
Aimee   
  


Harry awoke to a muffled cry, followed by heavy footsteps and the sounds of a door opening. He closed his eyes once more and sighed, but was once again disturbed by a pounding on his door. 

"Yeah?" He mumbled sleepily, slipping on his glasses and walking to the door, opening it. 

"Harry… Your Mum, she's going to have the babies." Severus was breathing hard and his face was pale. 

"Is she ok?" Harry asked immediately; Severus had never waited around to tell him before. 

"I'm not sure." He admitted, glancing over to the doorway of the Master Bedroom. "Listen… the children, they can take care of themselves. Do you want to come?" 

Harry nodded vigorously, "Yeah, let me get dressed." 

"Be ready in two minutes… No more." With that, Severus turned around and nearly ran into the Master Bedroom, leaving Harry to change.   
  
After dressing Lily as carefully as he could, Severus went back to Harry's room, finding the boy already ready and waiting for him. He beckoned his son to follow him as he walked into the Master Bedroom once more, taking his wife's arm in one hand and Harry's in his other. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the three bodies at St. Mungo's, and a moment later the walls of the mansion disappeared, replaced by bright white walls and a busty witch at an information desk. 

"Maternity." Severus said to her, supporting Lily in his arms. Harry watched in awe as they were suddenly surrounded by three different witches and a doctor, one of which helped Severus set Lily on a conjured stretcher. 

"Dad?" Harry asked, his eyes darting from the stretcher to his mother to Severus and back again. 

"Come with us." Severus said quietly and surprisingly calmly as he started to follow the entourage. 

Harry followed numbly, his eyes wide with amazement as the nurses and doctor worked on his mother. 

It seemed like an eternity, but they finally reached a room big enough to hold all of them. Severus walked right in but Harry lingered behind, almost afraid to step in. 

Before he could back away any further, Severus looked at his son and forced a smile. 

"It'll be all right, Harry. Come on in, you won't be in the way." 

Harry nervously stepped in, sighing as his father's hand touched his shoulder gently. 

"Will she be ok?" 

Severus nodded, "Yes, she will." 

There was a pause before Harry dared to speak again. "What about Remus?" 

For the first time that night, Harry saw a flicker of pain ignite in his father's eyes. However, as soon as it had shown, it had disappeared. 

"Stay here." 

A moment later, Severus had disappeared with a pop, leaving Harry feeling very much alone in the large white room with the nurses and doctors trying to revive his mother. Why though? Why couldn't they just let her be? 

The bulge in her belly was moving slightly, and even though she was unconscious, Harry could see his mother's face flinch with pain. He backed up against the wall, not knowing what to do. 

Severus arrive at his destination with a satisfied pop. He knocked on the door urgently, knowing Remus had to be in there. 

Remus opened the door in a pair of boxers and a robe flowing loosely from his shoulders. "Severus? What's wrong? Lily… Is she ok?" 

Severus shook her head, "She's gone in to labor." 

Remus shook his head, "How far along?" 

"A half hour, perhaps. I need you to come with me."   
  
Remus sighed and looked over his shoulder, "Severus, I –" 

"Lupin, you'd bloody well better listen to me." Severus hissed before Remus had the chance to finish his sentence. "You have as much of a chance as I do as being the –" 

Before he could finish, his eyes fell upon a woman who had approached Remus from behind, wrapping her long arms around his torso. She eyed him warningly, her blonde hair unnaturally neat. 

"Hello." She extended her right hand. "Narcissa Martin. And you are?" 

Severus eyed her hand and refused to take it. Slightly startled, the woman withdrew her hand to the safety of Remus' midsection. 

"Severus, listen to me, I… Really. This is a bad time." Remus looked so helpless, his now blue eyes darting from Narcissa to Severus nervously. 

"Did she really mean that little to you?" Severus said quietly, "She'd want you there." 

"Want you where?" Narcissa interrupted, "What's going on?" 

"'Cissa… Listen, Lily Snape. You remember me telling you about her, right?" 

"Yes… your friend." Narcissa's eyes narrowed a bit. "What's wrong?" 

"My wife just went in to labour and your boyfriend here is refusing to come with me." Severus interjected, his eyes bearing into Remus'. 

"Why should he?" 

_ Bitch._

"He has certain obligations he should attend to." Severus glared at the woman. Where on Earth had he seen her before? 

"Remus?" Narcissa asked. 

Remus just shook his head, "It's important, 'Cissa." 

"What's so important?" Narcissa asked, "Can't you go when the sun's up? It's not even four in the morning." 

"Remus!" Severus hissed, crossing his arms. "Do you ever want to see them? Ever?" 

Something snapped inside of Remus as he shook Narcissa off of him and kissed her apologetically. 

"I'll explain later." With a furious look at Severus, the two exited with a small pop, leaving a stunned Narcissa soon-to-be Lupin standing in her fiancée's doorway. 

Harry sighed with relief as two figures appeared in front of his once more; his father and Remus Lupin, looking rather flustered as he quickly transfigured a set of robes for himself to wear. 

Once Remus had pulled the robes over his head, he took a look around him in the room they were in; the doctor had left, satisfied with his role, while the nurses still worked on Lily, who was pale and now trembling. 

"God damn it, Severus… You didn't say she was fucking unconscious!" Remus exclaimed in a fairly low voice, backing up against the same wall Harry had before. 

"I didn't think it was necessary." Severus responded in the same cold voice he had used with Narcissa. "Seeing as how you are a friend and all. I thought you'd come, no questions asked." 

Harry sensed the tension between the two as Remus fell silent, his gaze upon Lily's form. 

"Dad…" Harry said quietly, "Is she going to be ok?" 

"I don't know." Severus admitted softly, "I guess we're going to have to wait." 

And wait they did. After nearly an hour of standing and waiting, Severus asked Remus in a rather forced voice to take Harry out in to the hall to sit for a while; Severus would call the two in if there was any change. 

Harry and Remus sat side by side in a pair of chairs Harry supposed was specifically designed for things such as this; a son whose mother was unconscious and in labour while the possible father who wasn't his mother's husband sat next to him. 

Or maybe his situation was unique. Either way, the chairs were extremely uncomfortable. 

"Hello, Harry." 

They were the first words Remus had spoken to Harry that night. Harry looked up at him with surprise. 

"Hi Professor Lupin."   
  
This received a rather small smile from the tired looking man next to Harry. 

"How are you doing?" 

Harry shrugged, "As good as possible, I guess." 

Before another word was spoken, Remus sighed. "I'm sorry, Harry." 

Harry just starred. "For what?" 

He knew damn well what. 

"For… For this." Remus tried to explain with a wave of his hands. "For perhaps putting your mother in such a compromising situation." 

Harry shrugged, "I suppose it's not your fault." 

"It is." Remus said, "Perhaps not directly… Hopefully not directly. However, I'm sure what ever is wrong with her…" 

"Nothing's wrong with her!" Harry exclaimed a bit louder than he supposed he should have. Feeling slightly embarrassed as many pairs of eyes turned to him and Remus sitting in those uncomfortable blue chairs, he shrank down a bit before continuing. 

"Nothing's wrong with Mum." 

Remus sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes slightly. "God, I hope you're right." 

Seconds seemed to pass as if they were minutes; Minutes as if they were hours and hours… Hours were eternity. Harry couldn't bring himself to fall asleep, less he miss something important. 

After what seemed like forever, Severus finally stuck his head out of the room, his tired black eyes scanning the halls until he found Remus and his son. Beckoning them to enter the room, Harry and Remus immediately obliged. 

Lily was still out cold; however, the doctor looked as if he was preparing to put some sort of a spell on her. Harry looked up at his father, a curious expression resting on his face, but Severus chose to look over at Lily and ignore Harry for the time being. 

The scene that followed was one Harry would never forget; without warning, the doctor took his wand and sliced through Lily's belly, blood seeping out of the incision. 

Quickly and carefully, the doctor reached in and turned his back towards Harry so he was no longer able to see anything. A moment later, the sounds of a baby's cries were heard. 

"It's a boy!" a nurse exclaimed, taking the wrinkled infant from the doctor's reddened hands. Harry watched with amazement as the nurse worked to clean the bundle off, wrapping him in a blanket and handing him to Severus, who looked down in slight interest. His mind, however, was still on his wife. 

Minutes later, another small bundle containing a baby boy was placed into Remus' arms. His face pale, Remus immediately handed the baby to Harry. He took the bundle without complaint, look at the baby's dark hair and pink skin. He had ceased to cry at the touch of his brother's fingers brushing across his forehead. 

The moment was abruptly ended as a loud beeping overtook the room. The doctors had wrapped a band around Lily's arm, monitoring her heartbeat in a small orb that was suspended about a foot over Lily's body, a red glow throbbing with each continuous beat. 

"Dad… What's going on?" Harry looked up at Severus, who was watching the scene unfold in front of his with shock. Before Severus could even acknowledge the fact Harry had spoken to him, a dreadful whine filled the room, making Harry want to cover his ears. He couldn't, however. The baby was still resting peacefully in his arms. 

Before Harry could register what was happening, two other doctors rushed into the room, nurses in tow. A flurry of activity occurred as the witches and wizards blocked Harry's view from his mother, who was no longer trembling. 

After a minute, the doctors backed up, each sighing in their own turn. The whining stopped, but the pulsing did not sound as Harry expected it to. 

One of the doctors – the one who had delivered the two little infants lying in Harry and Severus' arms – turned towards the five of them, standing there in shock.   
  
"I'm sorry." He spoke. "She's dead." 


	83. Love's Sweet Charity

snape83 What, no death threats that time? Damn. And here I was, looking forward to them... How many of you guys hate me right now? Uh huh, I thought so. Anyway, the mystery of the twins... Solved? Perhaps. Perhaps not... either way, it's an eventful chapter. Written both at 3 AM directly after I wrote the last chapter and at 8 PM today (Happy Independence Day to all you Americans out there). Enjoy.   
Aimee   


_She's dead_. 

The words didn't quite register as Harry heard them. However, Remus, who was standing next to him, gasped and Severus stepped forward, handing Remus the baby he was holding, and Remus in turn gave the wrinkled thing to Harry, who was now holding both of the twins. 

His mind numb, he looked down at the two of them; one with black hair and green eyes, the other with red hair and blue eyes barely open. In the back of his mind, Harry sighed, knowing it would be impossible to tell now; the babies had features of both men. 

_She's dead_. 

Harry shook his head, his mind entering reality once more. 

_Your mother's dead. She just died. She's gone. She's lying there, on the bed, dead. Her body's there, but she's gone. Her mind's gone. She's dead._

Harry let out a small sob, sinking to the floor. He did so with slight care, making sure both of the twins were supported in his trembling arms. 

_She's dead. Gone forever. What are you going to do now? James Potter is dead. Lily Snape is dead. They were your parents. They're dead. You have no one.___

_ No… I have Dad…_   
  
_ He's not your real Dad.___

_ I don't care… He's still there… Oh God._

The tears started flowing now, and Harry choked on his sobs, sighing with relief as he blacked out.   
  


Severus let out a small gasp and quickly handed Remus the baby he was holding. Shaking his head and massaging his temples, his mind screamed out. 

_Lily… Love… PLEASE say you can hear me… Please._

The longest moment of Severus' life past in that period of time, waiting for Lily's voice to reach him… any sign… she couldn't be dead. It was impossible. 

Severus shook his head, anger raging in his eyes. Pushing the nurses and doctors aside, he walked over to his wife's body, his hands trembling. Looking down at her pale face, he allowed his fingers to slowly graze over her check before violently slamming his fist down on her chest. 

"DAMNIT, Lily… Wake up. Please…" he begged, slamming his fist down once, twice, three times more. He vaguely thought of the bruise his fist was going to leave before the seriousness of the situation overtook him. 

"God f-cking damnit…" 

_Lily… listen… Love, please hear me. Please… I'm begging you… Be in there… I love you, please…_

** He slammed his fist down four times, five times, six.**

_You have to… You're not gone, you can't be… I'm here. Please, it's Severus… Listen to me_. 

** Seven times, eight times, nine.**

_I can't… Lily, you have to be there… Please, love… You have to be… I can't live without you… Please. I'll die. You're NOT dead… Please…_

** Ten times, eleven times, twelve.**

On the twelfth time, a gasping sound was heard throughout the room, followed by a choking sound. 

_Sev? Sev… Sev? What… Sev?___

_ Lily…? Oh God, hold on baby…_

"She's alive!" Severus shouted as he turned towards the doctors and nurses, who were all rushing towards the table once more. "She's ok…" 

He backed away slowly, his mind numb. 

_Sev? What happened?___

_ Oh God… Lily, love. You just died.___

_ What…? Sev?___

_ Lily… You're ok now. You're alive… You just died… God, you're ok.___

_ Where am I?___

_ You're here, baby. You're here…___

_ What happened? Sev… Where are you?___

_ Behind the doctors, love… You died, but… Oh God, you're ok._   
  
_ How…?___

_ I don't know, love.___

_ The twins?___

_ Alive and well.___

_ Where?___

_ Harry and Remus –___

_ Harry's here? Remus' here?___

_ Yes, love.___

_ Where? I want to see you… I want to see them… I can't move though… help?___

_ Lie still, Lily… It'll be ok… They're working on you. You're gonna be ok.___

_ I feel empty.___

_ You'll be ok… God, I love you Lily.___

_ I died?___

_ Yes, you died. But you're ok now… You're alive.___

_ I saw Papa.___

_ You saw… when?___

_ Just now… Before… I don't know. He was there, with my Mum and Dad. He hugged me, but then… I don't know.___

_ You're ok now…___

_ Tell them to get off me. It hurts..___

_ You just had the twins, love. It's going to hurt.___

_ I want to sleep.___

_ Let them work on you.___

_ I hurt, James…_

Severus froze, his eyes widening. 

_I'm not James.___

_ Sev?___

_ Yes, Lil… I'm Severus.___

_ But…___

_ Calm down, take a deep breath.___

_ They're all around me… Tell them to leave.___

_ I can't, love.___

_ Why not?___

_ They're helping you.___

_ They're making it worse.___

_ It'll get better.___

_ It hurts… Please, Sev.___

_ Love… Lily… I can't.___

_ What's happening?___

_ They're backing away… Are you ok?___

_ I don't know._

As soon as the doctors and nurses started backing away, Severus reached for Lily's cold hand. Turning to the nearest doctor, he choked a bit. 

"Is she going to be ok?" 

The doctor nodded, "What ever you just did, Mr. Snape… You saved her." 

Severus breathed in deeply, "What happened to her? Why did she do that?" 

"We're not sure." Another doctor replied. "However, her heartbeat's steady and her breathing pattern seems normal."   
  
"Is she going to live?" Severus asked quietly, looking down at his wife's ashen face.   
  
"Unless something else happens beyond our control… yes." 

Severus breathed in a sigh of relief. "Harry?" 

"I think he fainted." Remus said quietly from the back wall of the room, wiping the back of his hand against his red eyes. 

"God damn it…" Severus grumbled slightly, turning towards his son holding the twins. "And the twins?" 

"Healthy." The doctor that had delivered them answered, "Two healthy baby boys." 

"Could someone please take them and wake Harry up?" Severus asked quietly as the doctors bid farewell. Two nurses obliged, one taking the twins and another taping Harry with her wand. 

"Wha-" Harry started, throwing his torso forward. "Mum?" 

"She's ok." Severus said as Remus helped the boy up. "She's alive." 

"I thought…" Harry teared up once more, causing Severus to sniff slightly. 

"She's ok now." 

Harry didn't waste any time getting over to the bed and taking his mother's right hand. Severus touched her cheek softly, fighting against the tears. 

_She's ok now…___

_ Of course I am… I'm so tired though… Is that Harry?___

_ Yes, he's on your right. I'm on your left.___

_ Where's Remus?___

_ You only have two hands, love.___

_ Where is he?_

Severus turned towards Remus once more, beckoning him forward. "She wants to know you're here." 

"You're talking to her?" Harry asked softly. Severus nodded. 

_ Tell Harry I love him._

"She says she loves you." 

Harry beamed, clasping her hand tighter in his own. "I love you too, Mum." 

_What about the twins? Are they yours? Please say they are.___

_ I'm not sure, love._

"Harry, Remus. Did you happen to notice the twins' features?" Severus asked carefully, avoiding Remus' gaze. 

"One with black hair and green eyes, the other a red head with blue eyes." Harry said softly. 

"Shit…" Severus swore, closing his eyes tightly. 

_ Oh God… I'm sorry, Sev._   



	84. Twins, Colours, And Sex (James Bond)

snape84 Nice title, eh? Thought so. So sorry for not posting yesterday. I was home for a total of 30 minutes, just enough time to pack and check my email... Driver's Ed and my best friend's brother's birthday, sorry. I saw three movies... The Wedding Planner, Dracula 2000, and Carrie 2: The Rage. TWP was a total fluff movie (I hate J. Lo... She seems way too stuck up), D2000 was ok (I like the whole vampire scene, and Vitamin C was in it, so yay), and C2 was good up until the last ten minutes or so... I can't stand gore, especially anything to do with the head, limbs getting severed, or eyes. And guess which movie had all of that plus a lot more? Uh huh, you betcha. Enjoy.   
Aimee   


Harry, on his father's command, had gone to get a bit of breakfast for Severus, Remus, and himself, leaving the two grown men alone in Lily's company. 

"Red hair, blue eyes… Your hair and Remus' eyes." Severus was still shaking his head, "Black hair and green eyes… My hair, your eyes." 

"I'm sorry." Remus said quietly; they were some of the first words to come out of his mouth since Lily's revival. 

"Is there anyone in your family with black hair?" Severus asked stiffly, as if he was afraid of the answer. 

Remus nodded mutely. "My mother. I got my brown hair from my father and grandfather before him, but my mother's side… All raven." 

"My mother and father had blue eyes." Lily said softly. "And Papa." 

"My mother had blonde hair and blue eyes." Severus said, not feeling any better. 

"So, as you said when we first found out… they're yours until proven otherwise." Remus said quietly. "I can live with that." 

"Are you?" Lily said so softly Severus had to strain to hear her. "You sure don't look it." 

She was right; he hadn't counted on holding one of the babies. In that short time, he had gazed down at the baby's blue eyes and a the possibility of the baby he was holding being his suddenly came to life. 

"It's ok if you want to see them." Lily said quietly, looking at Severus for support. He squeezed her hand gently, neither of them having to read the other's thoughts to know what they were thinking. 

"Would you like to be a Godfather to one?" Severus asked. "Sirius Black staked his claim on one quite a few months ago." 

Remus thought for a moment, then nodded. "If not a father one way, then the other is just fine." 

Lily smiled and looked at Severus, noticing his downcast gaze and stiff stance. 

_You're mad.___

_ Of course not, why would I be?___

_ There's no guarantee.___

_ There's never a guarantee.___

_ Then why are you so mad about this? They're still your sons – nothing's ever going to change that.___

_ I've just got a bad feeling, that's all.___

_ I know – I can feel it.___

_ I'm sure you can, Lily.___

_ Have I really offended you that much?___

_ Pardon?___

_ You called me Lily.___

_ Sorry, love.___

_ Don't say it like that… Makes it sound a bit forced.___

_ I can't help it right now, Lil.___

_ I'm sorry, Sev… You know I am.___

_ You're been apologizing for the past nine months, Lily. Give it up.___

_ I can't.___

_ And why is that?___

_ You're still hurting.___

_ I'm going to be hurt for quite a while… Nothing's going to change that.___

_ I know, and once again, I'm sorry.___

_ Yes, I'm quite aware of that.___

_ If it makes you feel any better… It's very common for babies to be born with blue eyes and then have the color change later in life._   
  
_ That still doesn't guarantee anything.___

_ Nothing will, Sev. You know that. Even for the other children, the only way we can be sure is that you were my only partner –___

_ Until Remus came along, which makes thing completely different.___

_ Yes, I suppose it does.___

_ I've never slept with another woman, Lil. Never.___

_ You haven't?___

_ Of course not. I had few girlfriends before you… I didn't care enough about them to even conceive of sleeping with them.___

_ You… James… and Remus. That's all.___

_ Remus wasn't necessary.___

_ I forced Remus… James forced me. I wanted to – needed to – with you.___

_ Even the first time?___

_ Especially the first time.___

_ It just seemed like a step more than anything, at first.___

_ We were sixteen… But I knew it was real.___

_ You were sixteen, Lil. I was seventeen.___

_ Ok, so you were older than me by a few months – big deal.___

_ Half a year.___

_ Meanie.___

_ Your boyfriend's starting to look at us strangely.___

_ Don't call him that!___

_ Why not? It's funny. You're turning red.___

_ Am not.___

_ Are too.___

_ Am not.___

_ Are too._

"Am not!" Lily said, her face blushing a deep scarlet. 

"Are too." Severus smirked, then looked over and Remus. "Isn't she blushing?" 

Remus looked wide eyed from Lily to Severus, then back to Lily once more. "What ever it was you two were talking about, I'm sure I don't want to know."   
  
"Normal stuff." Severus waved his hand as to dismiss the topic. Lily, however, grinned. 

"Yeah, like twins and colours and sex." 

Remus laughed in spite of himself. "Put the three together and you've got yourself a rather interesting horror movie." 

"Horror?" Lily questioned, shaking her head in disagreement. "I thought it was more like a James Bond movie myself." 

"James Bond?" Severus asked, "Movies?" 

Lily turned towards her husband, her tired eyes twinkling slightly. "Muggle stuff, dear. Don't worry your pretty little head about any of it." 

"When was the last time you touched anything Muggle?" Severus grinned, "Twenty years, perhaps?" 

"Seventeen." Lily glared, "I am not thirty seven yet." 

"Nor am I." Severus agreed. 

"Or I, for that matter." Remus interjected. "Although, I do believe I'm a bit younger than you two, so I'll just step out of this conversation." 

"Your birthday's in February, Remus." Lily scoffed, "I was born in June." 

"And I in December." Severus nodded, "The twenty-seventh." 

Remus thought about this for a moment, then winced involuntarily. "Sorry." 

"It wasn't your fault." Severus sighed slightly, "Although, I must admit – finding you two together was one of the most shocking things that's ever happened to me on my birthday." 

"In ten years, we might be able to laugh at the whole situation." Lily shrugged, "You never know… It could happen." 

"The only reason I'm so… ok with it is the fact I know exactly how uncomfortable you are right now, Remus, and how much Lily hates saying the word 'sex' around you." 

Remus looked up, surprised. "And how do you know that?" 

"Well, it's easy – sensing emotions. And Lily did say sex, and she immediately thought 'oh shit, why did I say that?'" Severus smiled rather innocently. 

"Bastard." Lily murmured playfully, squeezing his hand. "You're quite evil." 

"I know, love." Severus grinned, his eyes meeting Remus'.__

_ They're so happy… Thank God that didn't screw up their relationship any._

Lily beckoned the man to her other side, holding out her hand. Remus winced as he felt how cold it was and briefly wondered if it was an after effect of – 

"No, it's not an after effect of dying." Lily smiled up at him. "I'm just cold." 

"Do you want another blanket?" Both Remus and Severus asked at the same time. A tense moment passed between the two before Severus chuckled, making Remus crack a smile. 

"You two are such… idiots!" Lily exclaimed, grinning. "No, I'm fine. Thank you very much though." 

"Are you sure?" Severus asked. 

Lily nodded, "Quite sure. All I need right now are my two favorite people in the world and my babies… speaking of. Sev, choose a name, Remus, choose a name." 

The two looked surprised for a moment, and then thought for a moment. 

"Castor Denial." Severus said. "For the one with the green eyes." 

"And Pollux Apollo, for the one with the red hair." Remus said quietly. 

"Castor Denial and Pollux Apollo?" Lily said faintly, her eyes slightly glazed over. "Quite the mouthful… I like." 

A moment later, Harry came back carrying two trays piled high with food. Remus immediately reached over to help the boy set them on a small, circular table pushed into the corner of a room. 

"Now why on Earth would they put a circular table in a corner?" Remus asked, slightly bemused. Severus just shook his head and chuckled as Lily smiled and closed her eyes once more. 

"I'm going to sleep… Keep it down." 

"Good night, Mum." Harry said quietly as the two men started to rip through the food he had carried up six floors ever-so-carefully, never dropping them once.   



	85. Homecoming

snape85 You guys better love me... I'm having some serious wrist problems right now, and I can barely type. Nothing like a sprain or anything - just tendons. Let's just say it honestly hurt to type this up... But I love you guys, and what's a little pain? Enjoy, and don't forget to read the author's note at the end.   
Aimee   


Remus arrived home later that evening, after Lily had gone to sleep. Emotions were running through him like he had never experienced; he was terrified, yet exhilarated at the same time. Seeing his best friend die hadn't been the highlight of his day, but it certainly stuck out in his mind. 

"Remus!" Narcissa exclaimed, throwing her arms around her fiancée the moment he walked through the door. "Where on Earth have you been? I was about to go back home." 

"So sorry, Cissa." Remus sighed, "Lily had the twins." 

"Boys or girls?" Narcissa asked, letting Remus go and allowing him to sit down. 

"Boys. Castor Denial and Pollux Apollo." 

"Identical or can't you tell?" she asked casually, sitting down next to him. 

"Red hair, blues eyes on Pollux, black hair and green eyes on Castor." 

"Blue eyes?" a carefully manicured eyebrow shot up. "From whom? Doesn't Severus have black eyes?" 

"Albus Dumbledore." Remus said carefully, not quite sure if he was lying or not. "Besides… Babies can be born with a different eye color, Cissa." 

"Yes, I know." Narcissa said quietly. "Do you want to stay here for the night or go back to my place?" 

"Is it ok if I have the night to myself?" Remus asked carefully. "Lily – she gave us quite a scare." 

"Of course, Remus… what kind of scare?" 

"She died." Remus watched with a bemused expression on his face as Narcissa gasped. "But Severus somehow managed to revive her – he pounded on her chest for a good minute, but something did it." 

"Oh God." Narcissa said softly, "How is she?" 

"Tired, slightly confused, and blissful." Remus answered honestly. "She wanted me to stay, but I figured her and Severus deserved a little alone time." 

_ Not to mention the fact I was shaking so badly I could hardly stand up._

"I can imagine." Narcissa said softly. "I'm sorry, baby… I'm glad she made it." 

"So am I." Remus hugged his fiancée gently. "Isn't Draco going to be worried?"   
  
"I suppose so." Narcissa sighed, "I told him I'd be back sometime in the afternoon – the sun's already set." 

"Tell the boy I said hello." Remus kissed her goodbye and she Apparated, a smile on her face. 

Standing up was difficult, but Remus somehow managed to and fix himself a cup of tea. Closing his eyes, he recapped the events of the day, the growing pit of anxiety growing within his chest. 

_ She's ok… She's alive. The twins are fine… Nothing's going to hurt them._

Sighing deeply, Remus finished off his cup and banished it to the sink with a wave of his wand. Walking down the hall took effort; his boots seemed to be made of lead as he struggled to make his way to his bedroom, where the bed was still unmade and the hollow forms laying side by side were still visible. 

"Jesus…" Remus sighed, collapsing onto the bed and quickly throwing off his boots and robes. "Out of all the things that could have happened today, it had to be that." 

Shaking his head once more, he closed his eyes, relishing the scent of Narcissa's coconut shampoo as he drifted off into a heavy sleep.   
  


Castor and Pollux were brought home a few days later, and they were greeted by a large surprise party Narcissa – out of guilt and feeling of duty towards Remus – had arranged for them. 

In attendance was the Snape family, of course, the Malfoys, Sirius, Remus, Arabella Figg, the Weasleys, Hermione Granger, many of the children's friends, and most of the Hogwarts staff. Quite a few Ministry of Magic members, many of which neither Severus nor Lily had ever met or heard of had shown up, including the Minister of Magic himself. 

Lily had immediately found herself one of the more comfortable, unoccupied chairs to set herself down in while Severus greeted many of the guests, extending their thanks and gratitude for coming. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were huddled in a tight bunch, eyeing the adults warily as they passed. Lily took notice of the fact Harry was not putting his arm around Hermione, nor was he touching her in the least. 

Much to her surprise, Draco Malfoy set down next to her after a train of people had passed by and congratulated her. Very few people knew about her brief encounter with death; she had preferred to keep it that way. 

"Hello, Draco." Lily smiled in an exhausted sort of way, her green eyes gazing over the blonde boy's face. 

"Hello, Mrs. Snape." Draco smiled graciously and took her hand – his mother had been adamant in him learning his manners at an early age. "Congratulations." 

"Thank you." Lily smiled, looking over at one of the twins – the red head, Pollux – as he was being passed from faceless person to faceless person. "Quite the turnout… Your mother did a lovely job." 

"Yes, she did." Draco said quietly, observing the room. "Speaking of, have you seen her lately?" 

"No, I'm afraid I haven't." Lily admitted, glancing around the room in search of the blonde. "Why, did you want to talk to her?" 

"No, no reason." Draco said, his eyes fixated upon Harry's group of friends. "She and Remus… I can't find either one of them, so I'm assuming they're off on their own, doing what ever it is they do." 

Lily smiled, a wave of pity washing over her. "I'm sure they're around here somewhere." 

"So am I." Draco responded just as another group of strangers Lily could barely remember seeing before came up to her. He waved and quickly made his way out of the crowd, coming face to face with Harry.   
  
"Sorry." Draco muttered, his eyes downcast. He started to step in the other direction before Harry stopped him. 

"Draco… If you want, you can come over here with Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and I." Harry offered, raising his hand in the direction of the other teenagers. "Unless you have something to do or someone else to hang out with." 

Draco paused for a moment, brief thoughts flashing through his mind before he smiled faintly and nodded, following the raven haired boy back to the group. 

"Hello, Draco." Hermione smiled and waved at the blonde boy, just as Ron grimaced and nodded curtly towards him. Draco nodded back, smiling towards Ginny, whom he'd never had a proper conversation with before. 

"Enjoying yourselves?" He asked mildly, his eyes still scanning the room for any sign of his mother or Remus. 

"Believe it or not, yeah." Harry responded, his eyes meeting with Draco's for a second, then casually looking over towards the black haired baby not ten feet from him. "They're adorable, aren't they?" 

"How many siblings is this now?" Draco asked, "Six?" 

"Seven." Harry corrected. "Ethan, Kaylee, Dea, Drake, Star, Castor, and Pollux." 

Draco grinned, "Quite a mouthful." 

"I'll say." Harry grinned back. 

Music had started minutes before; a slow song was starting, and Draco noticed Ron offering his hand to Hermione. She stood up and accepted with nary a word spoken between them. 

Both Harry and Draco watched wide eyed as the two made their way over to a large area where quite a few couples were dancing, and much to Draco's surprise, Ginny took off after one of her brothers, obviously bored with the conversation. 

"Since when has that been happening?" Draco asked, astonished. 

"Since she dumped me for him." Harry shook his head, "End of the school year." 

"Great best friend you've got there, Harry." Draco smirked in spite of himself. 

"I'll say." Harry shook his head once more, sighing. "Totally unexpected." 

"Relationships at this age never last." Draco said quietly, tearing his eyes away from the happy couple. "I should know from experience." 

"You and Pansy?" Harry asked. Draco wrinkled his nose and nodded. 

"Before that, Blaise Zambini. She was quite the flake, however…" 

"I can imagine." Harry grinned, "Although… I must say. Hermione's the only girl I've really dated." 

"Really?" Draco asked, shocked. "The Boy Who Lived has only had one relationship in his life?" 

"Yes…" Harry shot him a mock-nasty look. "By choice, believe me." 

"Oh really?" Draco grinned, "And why should I believe you?" 

"See the red head over there?" Harry nodded his head in Ginny's direction. "You would not believe how bad she wants to date me." 

"So why don't you accept?" Draco asked, curious as to why the boy would turn down a perfectly acceptable girl's offer. 

"I don't like her that way." Harry shrugged, "She's Ron's sister… It'd be too weird." 

"Just like Ron stealing your girlfriend away from you?" Draco questioned. "I see now." 

"They make a better couple than Hermione and I ever did." Harry admitted, "Much more love in the relationship, although they fight constantly. It's quite humorous, really." 

"I'm sure it is." Draco grinned, surveying the room once more. "Want a drink? I'm about to die of thirst." 

"Sure." The two boys got up and made their way to the dining room, where there was a considerably more amount of people. Piles of food were crammed on to the table, courtesy of the house elves that were frantically running around cleaning up various spills and messes the children and some adults were making. 

"So, how does it feel?" Draco asked, "Being a big brother and all." 

"Half big brother." Harry corrected, "Although I'm sure it doesn't matter." 

"Half big brother, then." Draco said quietly. 

"It's… nice, I guess. Sometimes I simply adore them… Others, I wish they were – err, -" 

"Dead?" Draco supplied. 

"Dead's a bit strong." Harry admitted, "Although in Ethan's case, I truly wouldn't mind." 

"Why Ethan?" Draco asked, setting down his drink. 

"He's a total…." 

"Idiot?" Draco supplied once more, "Prat? Insult to humanity?" 

"Yes, those." Harry laughed. "He seems to think that since I don't have Snape blood running through my veins, I don't belong in the family." 

"Bugger if there ever was one." Draco shook his head, "I was raised to believe in strong blood lines. However, in your case, it truly doesn't matter. Professor Snape thinks of you as his son – you can tell – and I'm sure you think of him as your father." 

"I didn't know until my first year." Harry admitted. "Nasty shock, if you ask me." 

"I can imagine." Draco smiled once more. "Listen… I'm sorry for everything I've done –" 

"Like humiliate me in front of the whole school?" Harry asked, a smirk on his lips. 

"The humiliation went both ways on that one." Draco admitted, "But… Yes, for everything. I'm sorry. I'd really like it if… you know, we could at least be friends." 

Harry thought about this for a moment, then nodded. He had rarely seen Draco in the company of anyone that seemed as if they were friends. Crabbe and Goyle were bodyguards, more than anything. Feeling almost sorry for the boy, he stuck out his hand. 

"Truce?" 

Draco eyed his hand for a split second, then his face broke out into a grin as he took the other boy's hand. 

"Truce."****

**(A/N: Before you guys start going all "That was totally OOC!" on me, think about it. How much of an influence do you think Lucius had on Draco as a child? My guess is that Draco's the way he is BECAUSE of his father... I'm sure he'd be quite different if Narcissa had raised him instead of Lucius.)**   



	86. Chocolate Covered Flower (Nothing's Bett...

snape86 New chapter... yay. :o) *whines* hand's seizing up... Don't let me type so much. :o) To The-person-with-the-sherbet-covered-headset : **poke**.   
Aimee   


Two weeks later, Harry, Ethan, and Kaylee were put on the Hogwarts Express, leaving the rest of the family behind. The full moon was the day the children left; September 1st. 

"This is going to feel different." Lily mused that evening as she and Severus watched the sun set slowly over the horizon. "Without the twins and all." 

"I can only imagine." Severus said quietly as the last ray of light disappeared. "Are you sure the twins…?" 

"Both Papa and Remus assured me they would be normal." Lily said quietly, slipping off her shoes. 

"Were they sure?" Severus asked quietly. 

"Go check on them if you wish." Lily said, starting to unbutton her robes. "Bring them in here."   
  
"No… Just in case anything goes wrong…" Severus paused, looking at Lily for her reaction. 

"I'm not going to bite their heads off." She gave him a pointed look. 

"I know, love." Severus said quietly as she slipped her robes off her shoulders. "I just want to be careful." 

"Yes, we all do." Lily sighed and winced as a slash of pain filtered through her body. Less than fifteen seconds later, she was undressed and curled up on the bed as the first snap of a broken bone make itself heard. 

Less than a minute later, the wolf stood in front of him. 

_I was right… It does feel different.___

_ You're shaped differently.___

_ Of course I am. No huge bulge in my stomach this time.___

_ Yes… Of course.___

_ Come here.___

_ Yes, love.___

_ I want to be petted.___

_ Pardon?___

_ Scratch me behind my ears… Please.___

_ Am I hearing this right or am I picking up Sirius?___

_ Sev… Please? It feels good.___

_ My God, Lily… Ok_. 

Severus chuckled as he sat down next to the wolf and started scratching behind her ears, amazed at the reaction. She rolled her eyes back in to her head and her body relaxed as she lay down, head in Severus' lap. 

_This is better than chocolate…___

_ Nothing's better than chocolate, love.___

_ Not even me?___

_ You covered in chocolate is the best thing in the world.___

_ You didn't answer me.___

_ Of course not, love. You're ten times better than chocolate.___

_ Only when I'm covered in it.___

_ Well, that's nice too.___

_ You need sex.___

_ I haven't gotten any for nearly nine months now, no thanks to you.___

_ Bastard.___

_ Bitch.___

_ I know.___

_ Literally.___

_ Isn't it wonderful?___

_ Now, love, when anyone calls Harry, Drake, Ethan, Pollux, or Castor a son of a bitch – they can't argue.___

_ Knowing Harry, he'll just start laughing.___

_ I know I would.___

_ So would I.___

_ You laugh at the slightest thing, love.___

_ I'm tired.___

_ Go to sleep.___

_ I hurt.___

_ I can't very well give you a potion now, could I?___

_ Speaking of, how's the Cure going?___

_ That's going to take quite a few years, love.___

_ I know… Any idea where to start?_   
  
_ Yes, many… All as crazy as the last.___

_ It'll come eventually.___

_ Eventually, love, could be a hundred years.___

_ Then I guess we'll just have to live that long, won't we?___

_ I suppose so.___

_ Could you start on my back, please?___

_ Love, you're pathetic.___

_ I know._   
  


Three weeks later, on September 23rd, was Remus and Narcissa's wedding. Both Draco and Harry were pulled from school for the occasion on Draco's request, as he wasn't about to sit through an hour long ceremony and even longer reception without at least one person his age. It was also appropriate; Lily and Severus were on the guest list and were considered the family of the groom, along with Sirius Black. 

Sirius had accompanied Harry and Draco from Hogwarts for their three day break, much to Lily's and Narcissa's satisfaction. Draco had been invited to participate in the wedding, however he declined the offer, mumbling something about tuxes and frilly pink things. 

Sirius was best man; Narcissa's best friend, a woman Lily nor Severus had ever met before, was the maid of honor. The ring bearer and the flower girl were cousins of Narcissa and Draco, along with most of the wedding party. 

The ceremony was beautiful; Draco abandoned the front bench of his mother's side where he had been squished between a great uncle and a great-grandfather he had never met before to go sit next to Harry on Remus' side, much to Harry's delight. The two were becoming fast friends, despite the Slytherin -Gryffindor rivalry. Ron and Hermione weren't please; neither of them like the boy too much, Ron especially. Draco had swallowed his pride – with great difficulty, mind you – and started treating Ron and Hermione with much more respect than, in his opinion, they deserved. 

The wedding was beautiful; Remus had managed to clean himself up and somehow, he looked ten years younger without the gray streaks in his hair. There were no bags under his eyes and he had managed to keep his eyes blue for the occasion, not wishing to be questioned by the rest of Narcissa's family about his strangely amber eyes – the trademark of a werewolf. 

"I hate weddings." 

Harry and Draco sat side by side, watching couples dance throughout the pavilion during the reception. Dinner had been served; Draco didn't eat a thing. When questioned, he shook his head and waved his hand, as if dismissing the question. 

"Why?" Harry asked, looking over at the boy next to him. His white-blonde hair was getting longer; it was nearly down past his ears now. 

"Too happy." Draco mused, "Mum and Remus… Look at them. They look like they're about the drown in each other." 

Harry glanced in the direction Draco was nodding towards and looked at his former Professor and his now-wife. They did, indeed, look as if they were drowning in one another, but Harry didn't see this as a bad thing. 

"It's how my Mum and Dad look at each other all the time." Harry shrugged, "I guess it's natural." 

Draco was silent for almost five minutes before he spoke again. "Ever been in love, Harry?" 

Harry shook his head, "Nah. I've liked a few people… I really liked Hermione. But, in the end, it was never love. Have you?" 

Draco shook his head, "Not that I'm willing to acknowledge." 

"But if you had to answer honestly?" 

Draco paused. "I'd say I wouldn't know, because I don't. Love's a fickle thing; there is no right definition." 

Harry sighed, "The one thing I want in life is to end up in a relationship like my parents'. It's perfect, almost, to the naked eye." 

"What is that implying?" Draco asked quietly, his gaze shifting from his own Mum and step father to Harry's parents. 

Harry paused, debating on whether or not to tell him. "Can you keep a secret?" 

"Yes." Draco said, his eyes still on the couple. 

"Honestly? I really shouldn't be going and telling anyone – especially you." 

"Why especially me?" Draco asked, curious now. 

"Because… well… it has something to do with Remus." 

"Remus?" Draco's eyebrow shot up. "What about Remus?" 

"You have to swear you won't think of him any differently, or tell him you know." Harry insisted. 

"I swear." Draco stuck his hand out. "And Malfoys never break their promises." 

"Ok." Harry took in a deep breathe. "You know about him being a werewolf?" 

Draco nodded, "Yes." 

"He bit my Mum." 

Draco raised both of his eyebrows now, "Really?" 

"Yeah." Harry said, shaking his head. "I walked in on her and Dad during her first transformation." 

"Wow." Draco shook his head. "That's crazy." 

"There's more to it." Harry sighed, "But you have to swear –" 

"I won't tell anyone, Harry. I promise." Draco looked at the boy meaningfully. "You have my permission to kill me if I ever do." 

"Ok." Harry looked down at his hands, trying to form the right words. "Let's just say Pollux and Castor might not be my Dad's children." 

"Bloody hell!" Draco exclaimed as heads turned their way. He shook his head, a slightly tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. "You're joking?" 

"They know I know." Harry said softly, "But they don't know I know my Mum was controlling him at the time; it wasn't Remus' fault."   
  
"Your Mum cheated on your Dad?" Draco dropped his voice to barely above a whisper. "The Perfect Couple? Honestly?" 

"Crazy, isn't it?" Harry shook his head, "It didn't seem to disrupt their relationship any. My Dad left for a while, but they made up in a matter of days. After Mum found out she was pregnant, she went to tell Remus – on the full moon." 

"And he bit her." Draco shook his head, "I'm sorry." 

Harry shrugged, looking ahead at his parents once more. "It's not that bad, really. They seem to forget about it." 

"They look so happy though." Draco followed Harry's gaze. "It's amazing…" 

"They must be meant for each other." Harry shook his head, "For their love to survive like that." 

"I know I would never forgive my wife if she cheated on me." Draco shook his head, "That is, if I ever marry." 

"You will." Harry said, "You'll find the woman of your dreams some day and fall head over heels in love with her." 

"I suppose." Draco got a faraway look in his eyes. 

"Unless, of course, your bread's buttered the other way." Harry smirked. 

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" Draco shook his head, "Meanie." 

"If I came up to you and kissed you, would you ever let me live it down?" Harry asked. 

"No." Draco answered truthfully.   
  
"Case closed."   



	87. One Of The Same (Cold Rain)

snape87 I wrote this in twenty minutes (as I'm getting shut down in 5 and I wanted you guys to have something). This chapter's inspired by the song at the bottom, which I received at full length today (Drew refused to give it to me, and let's just say I don't beg very well). Read the lyrics... They're awesome.   
Aimee   


It only took two months to start a family of our own; Narcissa was pregnant by the time Christmas rolled around. Draco was the first to find out; he, in turn, told Harry who in turn informed Lily and Severus. By the time December 20th came, we had been invited over to the Snape's for Christmas Day. 

Draco and Harry had become friends faster than any of us could have imagined; in a matter of four months, Harry was Draco's best friend and Draco had moved into Harry's elite group, much to his delight. 

Draco had confided in me once that the Sorting Hat had considered putting him in Gryffindor, and it was no secret Harry was almost made a Slytherin. Among other things, they were quite alike, no matter how much they insisted they weren't. 

Draco had lost his father to the Dementors at an early age, hardly able to remember anything about the tall, blonde man he looked so much like. Harry had lost his biological father to Voldemort on the night of his downfall. No matter how much Harry hated it, he looked exactly like James… Except his eyes. He had Lily's eyes. 

Lily and I had been friends for nearly our entire lives; for the short eleven years we didn't know each other seemed like nothing compared to the lifetime we had spent as best friends. Of course I fancied her when we were younger, but I couldn't dream of thinking of her like that now that I had Narcissa. Narcissa was my life; my day revolved around her. I had no need to work; my family did have money and Narcissa had inherited the Malfoy fortune when Lucius had died. 

Lily and I were both determined to stay friends; however, as the year went by, I saw less and less of her. The twins were growing wonderfully; Pollux still had blue eyes, much to my surprise. I had been sure they were Severus' children. 

She informed me of a medical possibility that the twins had different fathers. It was a tricky situation to determine; if that indeed was the case, Pollux was almost certainly mine and Castor was almost certainly Severus'. I was afraid of wanting such a thing; she had her family and I had mine. If Narcissa ever discovered this… I shuddered to think of what her reaction would be. 

I loved my wife; Lily had Severus. The one thing joining us was that fateful day nearly a year ago… December 27th. Severus' 34th birthday, the day after their 17th anniversary. Two days after Christmas and after their youngest daughter's birthday. Such a time it was to remember… 

I missed her. Narcissa was wonderful, but she could never be my best friend. Sirius was always there for me, but I knew he didn't understand me nearly as well as Lily did. We were one of the same now – both destined to walk the Earth every full moon as a wolf. Our eyes were exactly the same shade, only on the new moon did her vibrant green eyes show and my icy blue eyes come out. Amber… found in forests throughout the world. It was ironic. 

Christmas was a full moon this year; Severus had insisted on preparing a Wolfsbane potion for myself as well as Lily, so that our families could be together. It would be the first time I ever saw another werewolf in the form of a wolf; I was scared to death. 

Narcissa broke the news to both Draco and I at the same time; sitting in the living room as I watched Narcissa and Draco play a rousing game of wizard's chess. Needless to say, she won that round; Draco was so shocked it only took her three moves to checkmate the King. 

I laid awake that night, just watching her sleep. I knew I had done the right thing; I couldn't imagine life without her. They were my family now; Lily was more of a sister than she had ever been before. 

Oh, God. I slept with my sister. 

I shook my head at the thought; I needed to get over it. However, each time I looked at Lily… Looked into her amber eyes… I couldn't help feel the rush of love I felt for her afterwards. I knew it was wrong; it was wrong in all aspects and perspectives. Even if she had no children, I would have felt as bad as I did – and still do – for doing what we did. I knew now she had been controlling my mind, but a small voice in the back of my mind had told me it wasn't necessary. A pit formed in the bottom of my stomach when I realized I would have done it anyway. 

Sirius was right; I had craved human touch for the past thirty years. After I had been bitten, I felt as if no one cared, even my own family. Their son was a werewolf; one wrong move, one full moon away from my cage and I would have killed them all without a second thought. Who could honestly love such a creature? 

Lily could. She was one of us now. 

Severus could. He loved Lily as if she were his world – perhaps she was. 

Narcissa could. She loved me even after I had told her about my past.   
  
My unborn child could… He or she would love me like the father I was and would be. 

Lily's children – each and every one of them – loved her as a child loves a mother. Harry was the only one who knew about her. 

Draco knew about me and he still didn't shun me. He didn't love me as he would his own father – however, he accepted me. That was all I could have asked for. 

Sirius… Back at Hogwarts, everyone had adored him. He was every girl's bedroom fantasy… and he knew it. Lord, did he know it. He didn't mind – oh no, quite the opposite. He adored the attention. 

While I lay there, thinking about all of this, the world kept on moving. It didn't stop as it should have; people were living their lives. Children were playing, dogs were barking, babies were being born… people were dying. All over the world, people were living out their life and enjoying every minute of it. 

I refused to give up. Life was a terrible thing, it felt like, sometimes. Other times – like now, as I lay here – it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. Life had given me my wife… my best friend… my child. I was eternally grateful for them, as they were my life. Without Narcissa, I would be wallowing in self pity… I wouldn't know what to do with myself. 

Without Lily, all my secrets would be inside of me still, wanting out. I would be driven crazy by my own mind. 

Without my family… friends… I would be nothing. Sometimes, life was cold as rain. The people… Lily, Narcissa… they were cold. Other times, they were warm and inviting. 

It was just how it went – you live, you love. You can't prevent your heart from trying to reach out to people. It was impossible… suppressing my emotions would have killed me. 

We were one in the same… Forever joined, forever bonded. Lily was my best friend… no matter what.   


  
  


**_What does she have to hide_**   
**_What misery of life_**   
**_ Can such things be left as secrets_**   
**_Can history be gone_**   
**_ Through night to breathe the dawn_**   
**_ In light of those left in the rain be free?_**   
**_But with words of present day_**   
**_Left truth to run away_**   
**_To bring to light_**   
**_A passion fight_**   
**_Of words against her soul_****__**

**_Cold rain in martyrs soul_**   
**_Fire falls to light the secret for me_**   
**_Guiding blaze to bring the truth into view_**   
**_In light of those left in rain_**   
**_Be Free_****__**

**_But when released I see_**   
**_No secret_**   
**_No meaning_**   
**_Pushing away this shit can't be dealt with._**   
**_Laugh at Me_**   
**_Talk at Me_**   
**_Fight at Me_**   
**_I'm not there_**   
**_I can't care to care about those_**   
**_Who care and find they're love as pity_****__**

**_She's no martyr, She's a soul_**   
**_She's a fighter, She has control_**   
**_Not defense, I see a whole in her hence_**   
**_I reach to have my hand knocked away_**   
**_Again and Again, and then a ray of light_**   
**_From the Fire we now see inside_****__**

**_Love isn't pity,_**   
**_Please see by the blaze you lit in my eyes_**   
**_No lies will spill from me again._**   
**_And in light of those left in the rain_**   
**_Be free*_****__**

**_*Drew Hull, Cold Rain_**   
**_(My song... Written for me, about me, and inspired by me. I'm a Muse! :o) )_**


	88. Until Eternity, Love

snape88 This is by far my favorite chapter so far... Picture it in your head while you read. It'll help. And guess what... I got a 98 on my driving test (the highest grade in the class, thank you) and, totally unbeknownst to me, my dad got me a white '01 Saturn! I just got it today, and let's just say I was shocked... I still am. I wasn't expecting that at all... O, and on a slightly funny note, I'm legally blind without contacts or glasses. Isn't that cool? 20/400 vision, thank you. Could you guys please review at the end of this chapter, tell me what you think? Please? Thank you! Enjoy.   
Aimee   


Micah Artemis Lupin was born on June 3rd, 1996, around 5:45 in the morning. She had come quickly – three hours of labour on Narcissa's part. 

Draco hadn't been present; only Remus. The teenagers didn't even know until he came home two weeks later to find the Malfoy Manor in an uproar. Deeming the stone walls to be far too chilly for her new daughter, Narcissa had ordered for the stone to be replaced with brick. What difference this made, Draco and Remus were clueless about, but she was insistent. 

Remus didn't see Lily until later that summer, the week before the twins' first birthday. She kept him and Sirius well updated, however, sending pictures and notes to them every few weeks. They often included wishes to see them once more, as Lily was often cooped up in the Snape Mansion, battling eight children constantly. Dea was going into her first year of Hogwarts, their fourth to go off to the school, and Remus knew just as well as Severus did how nervous Lily was for her little homemaker. 

She had sent him an owl, requesting a meeting with him as soon as possible. Curious as to what it was all about, he responded, saying he'd meet her at the Leaky Cauldron at the designated time. 

It was almost as if he was drawn to her by an unearthly magnetic attraction; the moment he walked through the doors off the busy London street, his amber eyes found her. She had been looking at him intently through her own amber eyes, clutching a glass of clear liquid. He made his way over to her table quickly, avoiding eye contact with anyone else in the grubby little tavern. She rose silently as he reached her and, without a word, beckoned him to follow her. 

And follow her he did; through the pub, up the staircase and into a tiny room complete with a desk, mirror, and bed. She closed the door silently behind him, the lock echoing with a 'click'. 

"Lil?" Remus asked warily, taking in his new surroundings. 

"I came here to tell you something." Lily said quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She looked up at him, their matching eyes meeting with a slight jolt of the senses. 

"And what would that be?" Remus asked, taking a step backwards. The look she was giving him – she had to of learned it from Severus. He felt as if he were under a microscope, being examined like a fresh piece of meat. 

"Remus, you're my best friend." Lily started, taking in a deep breath. She had promised herself she would be in control, and she wasn't about to let herself cry. "I love you, you know that." 

Remus nodded mutely, vaguely wondering whether this way going to be a good or bad conversation. 

"I can't do this anymore." Lily said quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor. "This, knowing what happened… It was almost two years ago, yes, but every time I look at Castor or Pollux – especially Pollux, I get a stabbing pain of guilt." 

"You can't do what, exactly?" Remus asked, afraid of the answer she was about to provide him. 

"This!" Lily waved her arm around the room. "We're together and we can't even have a normal conversation without tension mounting. Severus doesn't trust me to be alone with you, I don't trust myself to be alone with you." 

"And?" Remus asked gently, his body tense. 

"You-" Lily sighed, "God this is so hard." 

Stepping forward, Remus set his hand on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort. "What's so hard?" 

"I can't see you anymore." She finally whispered. "Ever." 

Remus felt his insides turn to ice as the exact meaning of her words came to life. "Why?" 

"I think we both know that if Severus and Narcissa weren't in the picture, we'd be sharing a bed." Lily said, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill. 

"We already have." Remus muttered softly. "Please… Lily… you're my best friend…" 

"You have Sirius and Narcissa." Lily said numbly. 

"I want _you_." Remus said, "Not Sirius, not Narcissa… I value my relationship with you much more than theirs…" 

"Remus." Lily said softly, "Narcissa's your wife. Sirius has been there for twenty five years." 

"You know everything about me." Remus said, "I've shared everything about myself with you. Everything. Narcissa… I love her, yes, but she'll never be you. Sirius… He knows things about me, yes, but sometimes I wonder if he really even hears me at all." 

"Sometimes, I feel absolutely torn between wanting a time-turner and stopping us from ever doing that or just letting things go on as they are. I might lose my babies… but now, this… I'm losing you." Lily sighed once more, standing up and looking up at Remus. "It's absolutely tearing me up inside. I can't do this any more." 

"Avoiding the situation all together isn't going to help, Lil." Remus said quietly, "It'll only make things worse. You know that." 

"How can things get any worse?" Lily asked, brushing a stray tear away from her cheek. "Our friendship is… it's so much more than that." 

"And you're going to give it up?" Remus whispered, "Just like that?" 

Lily looked up into his liquid-amber eyes. "What other choice to we have?" 

Taking her right hand, she brought it up to his face and wiped away a tear that had been sliding down his cheek unnoticed. He reached up his left hand and took hers within it, pressing it to his cheek and then brought her palm to his lips. 

"You know I'll never be able to live without you." Remus whispered. Lily could feel his hot breath against her skin as he spoke. "I'll die." 

"No you won't." Lily spoke softly, "You have your baby girl – a daughter, Remus. You have Narcissa and Draco… a family. You won't die without me." 

"Yes I will." Remus sighed, "Micah… she's the only thing that compares to you. I love her as much as I love you, but in two completely different ways. You _ARE_ my family, Lily. Narcissa… yes, she is also, but if I had to chose between her and you… she wouldn't have a chance." 

Before Lily had a chance to respond, Remus took her hand away from his face and leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers. She didn't bother struggling; he knew she wanted it as badly as he did. 

She responded, but only for a moment. He pulled away before they made things worse, their breath mingling as their faces were barely two inches away. 

"Remus, you know we can't. We're both married. You have Cissa… and Severus, God, if he ever found out…" Lily squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you see? We have to let it go before things get out of hand and we both end up hurt." 

Remus knew – she could feel it. Defeat filled his mind and body as quickly as guilt filled hers, their hands still joined together. Leaning forward and kissing him once more – and one last time – she stepped away from him. 

"Goodbye, Remus." She whispered, their hands still joined. "I love you, and don't you ever forget that." 

Tears streaming down both of their cheeks, Lily closed her eyes and Apparated back to the Snape Mansion, where Severus was waiting for her, sitting on their bed. 

He stood up immediately and took her in his arms, his hand gently caressing her cheek. She sobbed into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his body for support. 

Lily didn't know how long to two stood like that, but she cried until there were no more tears left to cry, until the sobs that racked through her body finally gave up, until Severus had to carry her to the bed, until her eyes were so heavy they closed on their own… Until the heavy blanket of sleep finally overcame her as she welcomed it with open arms.   
  
  
__

_The sky has lost it's color_   
_The sun has turned to grey_   
_At least that's how it feels to me_   
_Whenever you're away___

_ I crawl up in the corner_   
_ As I watch the minutes pass_   
_ Each one brings me closer to_   
_ The time when you'll be back_   
_ You're coming back___

_ I can't take the distance_   
_ I can't take the miles_   
_ I can't take the time_   
_Until the next time I see you smile___

_I can't take the distance_   
_And I'm not ashamed_   
_That I can't take a breath without saying your name_   
_I can brave a hurricane_   
_And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down_   
_But I can't take the distance___

_I still believe in feelings_   
_But sometimes I feel too much_   
_I make believe you're close to me_   
_But it ain't close enough_   
_Not nearly close enough___

_ I can't take the distance_   
_ I can't take the miles_   
_ I can't take the time_   
_Until the next time I see you smile___

_I can't take the distance_   
_And I'm not ashamed_   
_That I can't take a breath without saying your name_   
_I can brave a hurricane_   
_And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down_   
_But I can't take the distance*___

_*Evan And Jaron, The Distance_


	89. Blood Of The Father

snape89 Hey, when have I ever left you hanging? Remember, the story's not over until the fat lady sings.. and I'm serious about that. As far as I know, the Fat Lady has yet to sing, so... I hope you guys like this chapter. Hopefully... *crosses fingers*. 89 chapters. Wow. Pardon me while I faint... 157 pages in Microsoft Word, 10 Times New Roman font... That's without the songs and spaces in between each line, mind you. Amazing, eh? :o)   
Aimee   


Draco awoke with a start later that night as he heard footsteps pass his door. He was a light sleeper and the servants of the Manor knew not to pass his door in the middle of the night. Furious as to whoever had broken the rule, he threw off his bedcovers and stumbled out of bed, wiping his reddened eyes with the back of his hand. Pulling over the door, he saw the swish of a cloak just as the owner turned down a hall. 

Sighing, Draco shook his head and started to follow. 

"Remus…" he whispered as he traced his step-father's footsteps. Fully prepared to yell at him, he threw open the door and crossed his arms, mustering the best sinister look the early hours of the morning would allow. 

Before he could open his mouth to speak, he froze. Remus stood, standing in front of a blazing fire, his body racked with sobs. They were in a room Draco rarely visited – a room full of pictures, each of them now looking down upon the two. 

"Remus?" Draco asked carefully, "Are you all right?" 

Remus had swung around at the first sounds of Draco's voice. Shaking his head, he waved his hand and turned back towards the hearth dejectedly. 

"I think I'll live." Remus sighed, "Go back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you up." 

Instead of turning around and leaving, Draco stepped forward, his head spinning slightly from lack of sleep. "What's wrong?" 

"You wouldn't understand." Remus said quietly, sitting down in an armchair. "And I don't want to talk about it." 

"Try me." Draco said, "I'd understand a lot more than you think." 

"Not this, you wouldn't." Remus sighed once more. "We're all allowed our secrets, Draco." 

"This doesn't have anything to do with Lily Snape, does it?" Draco asked softly, stepping even closer. "Because I know." 

Remus froze, his amber eyes meet Draco's blue ones. "How – ?" 

"I was one of a blessid few that found out." Draco said, slowly taking a seat next to his step father. 

"How much do you know?" Remus asked, gazing numbly into the fire once more. 

"I know you slept with her." Draco started, "I know she made you. I know Castor and Pollux might be yours. I know she's a werewolf." 

"So everything, then." Remus said dully. "Bloody hell, who told you?" 

Draco raised his eyebrows, "I have my secrets." 

"I'll say." Remus closed his eyes, his head set in the palm of his hands. "You do know she's my best friend, right?" 

"Yes." Draco answered, watching the flames dance and the sparks fly. "It was quite obvious." 

Remus lifted his eyes blankly from the fire, focusing on a picture of Draco's grandfather. Laughing darkly, he shook his head once more. "Well, I just had one of the worst days of my life." 

"Tell me about it." Draco said, leaning back in his chair. 

"Do you swear you will not tell your mother?" Remus asked. 

"As long as it's not an emergency." Draco answered honestly. "There's exceptions to every rule." 

"This isn't one of those times." Remus said, "So please." 

"I won't." said Draco, gazing at his step father. 

"She – she asked me to meet her at the Leaky Cauldron, so I did. She had me follow her up to a room so we could talk. She insisted she –" Remus sighed, "- she said she never wanted to see me again. She said we had to… it wasn't working out, and our friendship was being overpowered by something that happened two years ago." 

"Is it?" Draco asked softly, slightly alarmed. 

"Yes." Remus whispered, focusing his gaze into the fire once more. "Then – then she kissed me. It was one of those… I don't know how to describe it. I knew what she was feeling, what she was thinking… It was almost like –" 

"Like love?" Draco supplied, his voice not much louder than Remus'. 

"Yes." Remus answered once more, "Love laced with goodbye." 

"The worst kind." Draco smirked bitterly. 

"Yes, well…" Remus sighed, "She told me she loved me… and it was obvious, if your mother and Severus weren't involved –" 

"You'd be married." Draco finished for him. "Yes, it was quite obvious." 

Remus smiled sadly, "Yes, I guess so." 

"So what happened then?" Draco asked carefully, not wanting to push the issue. 

"She told me… it was gone. Everything." Remus sighed, "Everything… twenty-five years worth of friendship, gone because of a one night stand neither of us wanted." 

Draco shook his head, wondering if he should inform Harry of all of this. "And then?" 

"I was fighting her the whole time… I didn't want her to leave. I need her… our relationship, it exists beyond all boundaries. I've loved her the whole time I've known her – perhaps not the kind of love you're thinking about, but a more genuine, friendship sort of love." Remus smiled at the memory. "I could talk to her about anything and not worry about her running off and telling James." 

"James?" Draco cocked his head a bit, confused. 

"Harry's father." Remus answered, "James Potter." 

"Ah," Draco nodded, "Ok." 

"She Apparated… she said goodbye and left me there." Remus shook his head, "She was gone." 

"Tell her how you feel." Draco suggested, "Maybe once she understands…" 

"She knows." Remus said quietly, "She knows exactly how I feel. She knows she's my life… She knows you, Micah, Cissa, and herself… my life, my family. She knows I'd die for her… She knows the guilt I feel, she knows how badly I wish I could turn back time, she knows I'll damn near die without her." 

By this time, the man was crying once more, tears dripping down his cheeks in an unceremonious manner. Draco flinched; he hated seeing grown men cry. 

"Here." Draco pulled out a few tissues from his pocket, "Take these." 

Remus took them thankfully, wiping his cheeks bitterly. "Do you have any idea how much I want to hate her?" 

"Yes." Draco answered. "You want to hate her so much that she burns… burns into a pile of ashes. But you can't." 

"Yes, I can't." Remus said, "I can't because I know it's my fault. Everything that's happened – my fault." 

"No," Draco corrected, "She is equally, if not more at fault then you are." 

"I bit her." Remus spat, "I slept with her."   
  
"She came to your home on the Full Moon." Draco fought back, "She forced you to sleep with her – she controlled you, Dad." 

Remus froze. He turned towards Draco slowly, his amber eyes full of amazement. "What did you call me?" 

His voice was soft; not bitter as it had been moments before. 

"I said, she controlled you, Dad." 

A weak smile flickered over Remus' face. Draco stood up, blocking his view from the fire. 

"I don't care what you say," Draco started. "Lucius – he was a bastard. He landed himself in Azkaban… he killed so many innocents. I don't care that I've only known you for six years… I don't care that it's not biological… You've had far more of an influence over me than Lucius ever did." 

Remus stood up, meeting Draco eye to eye. The almost seventeen year old boy was now two inches taller than Remus. A full smile flickered over his face as he embraced the boy. 

"Besides," Draco whispered, hugging Remus back. "Blood's never really matter anyway."**__**

**_Listen little child_**   
**_ There will come a day_**   
**_ When you will be able, able to say_**   
**_ Never mind the pain, all the aggravation_**   
**_ You know there's a better way_**   
**_ For you and me to be_****__**

**_ Look for the rainbow in every storm_**   
**_Fly like an angel heaven sent to me_****__**

**_Goodbye my friend_**   
_(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)_   
**_It's not the end_**   
_(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)_   
**_So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no_**   
**_No no no no_****__**

**_Just a little girl, big imagination_**   
**_Never letting no one take it away_**   
**_Went into the world, what a revelation_**   
**_She found there's a better way for you and me to be_****__**

**_Look for the rainbow in every storm_**   
**_Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you_**   
**_You'll always be someone's baby_****__**

**_Goodbye my friend_**   
_(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)_**__**

**_It's not the end_**   
_(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)_   
**_So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no_**   
**_No no no no_**   
_(You know it's time to say goodbye)_   
**_No no no no_****__**

**_The times when we would play about_**   
**_The way we used to scream and shout_**   
**_We never dreamed you'd go your own sweet way_****__**

**_Look for the rainbow in every storm_**   
**_Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you_**   
**_You'll always be someone's baby_****__**

**_Goodbye my friend_**   
_(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)_   
**_It's not the end_**   
_(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)_   
**_So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it_****__**

**_No no no no_**   
_(You know it's time to say goodbye)_   
**_No no no no_**   
_(And don't forget you can rely)_   
**_No no no no_**   
_ (You know it's time to say goodbye and don't forget on me you can rely)_   
**_No no no no_**   
_(I will help, help you on your way)_   
**_No no no no_**   
_(I will be with you every day)_   
**_No no no no...*_****__**

***Spice Girls, Goodbye**   
**(Got a better song that fits the Lily/Remus situation? I didn't think so.)**


	90. Half Blood

snape90 I wrote this chapter last night, around 3 AM... I haven't reread it, so hopefully there aren't too many errors. I didn't feel like posting it until now, so... And I got maimed by my cat. Lovely thing, Aidan... but he's a little dork. One minute he loves being outside, the next my shoulder and back's getting torn to shreads. Too bad he's cute as hell... Enjoy.   
Aimee   
  


Her head was swimming with unsaid thoughts; the actions of the previous night came flooding back to her as she opened her eyes, wincing as she grew accustomed to the light coming through the window. 

A timid knock on the door told her almost immediately why she had woken up so suddenly. Struggling to sit up, she opened her mouth, slightly surprised at the dryness. 

"Come in." Her voice was thick and scratchy. 

Harry opened the door slowly, his raven hair as messy as it had ever been. "Mum?" 

"Hi Harry." Lily said, smiling at the sight of her oldest son. 

_Smiling? How can you be smiling? He's gone._

"Good afternoon, Mum." Harry smiled back – however, it looked forced. "Dad wanted me to make sure you were awake." 

"What time is it?" Lily murmured, absentmindedly running her fingers through her hair. 

"Almost two." Harry answered. "Dad made sure everyone was quiet so you could get some sleep." 

Lily smiled at the sixteen year old. "Thank you, son." 

"You're welcome." Harry slipped out without another word, closing the door behind him. 

Lily sighed and closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep. She pulled the covers around her body once more, attempting to block out the thoughts of Remus that were swimming through her head. 

_Don't you dare go back to sleep.___

_ I'm so tired though…___

_ Sleeping more won't help, love.___

_ What else am I supposed to do?___

_ Face the day.___

_ He's gone…___

_ Yes, love. He's gone.___

_ Why?___

_ You thought it was for the best.___

_ It is… but why?___

_ I don't know, love. Why don't you tell me?___

_ Because… the twins… you… the kids… Narcissa, Draco… Micah…___

_ Is that the reason, love?___

_ Yes.___

_ Are you sure?___

_ Yes.___

_ He misses you terribly.___

_ He does?___

_ I've been listening to him for quite a while now.___

_ What's he been saying?___

_ Listen for yourself, love.___

_ I can't.___

_ Why not?___

_ It hurts too much.___

_ You're going to have to face the day sometime, love. Please, get out of bed? For me?___

_ But I'm so tired…___

_ You've been sleeping for a good twelve hours.___

_ Why am I so tired?___

_ You spent an hour crying last night, love.___

_ I did?___

_ Yes, you did.___

_ I'm sorry.___

_ Perfectly understandable.___

_ I love you, Sev.___

_ I know you do, love. I love you too… Now, please? Bed, up? I'll even make you lunch?___

_ I'm not hungry.___

_ If this is how it's going to be from now on, love, I shouldn't have let you do that.___

_ Why did you?___

_ You thought it was for the best and I figured there was no way I was going to stop you.___

_ Does he miss me?___

_ Terribly.___

_ What's he saying?___

_ He's torturing himself… he thinks you hate him.___

_ But I don't!___

_ Tell him, love.___

_ I can't.___

_ Lily, baby… You're killing him.___

_ He's strong, he'll survive.___

_ Physically, perhaps. Mentally, I'm afraid of what's going to happen to him.___

_ I miss him already, Sev.___

_ I know you do, baby.___

_ Why did I do that?___

_ I don't know, love.___

_ Where are you?___

_ The sitting room. Do you want something to eat?___

_ Not right now… I'll be right there._

Not bothering to dress herself properly, Lily tossed the blankets off of her body and grabbed a robe, tightening the belt around her waist. She made her way down the hall and stairs, padding through the house until she reached the sitting room where Severus was lounging, sipping a glass of clear liquid and reading the Daily Prophet. 

"Anything interesting?" Lily asked, laying down next to Severus, putting her head in his lap. 

"England won the Quidditch match against Ireland." Severus commented, reaching down and smoothing a lock of hair away from Lily's face. "230 to 170." 

"Think Harry will play for England?" Lily asked, her eyes focused on a picture of the family in front of her. 

"If he wants to." Severus answered, setting his hand on her shoulder. "He certainly has the talent." 

"Yes, I suppose he does." Lily said quietly. 

Silence passed between the two, each concentrating on their own thoughts. Almost fifteen minutes later, however, the silence was broken when a scream rang throughout the house. 

Lily bolted upright, her eyes wide. "Who on Earth…?" 

"That was Ethan." Severus answered, standing up immediately. "I'll go see what was going on." 

Severus walked briskly through the house in the direction of the scream until he reached the library. The scene in front of him made him stop cold, his body frozen. 

Ethan was standing in the middle of the room, his wand drawn. Severus was quick to notice he was nursing a bloody nose, which was flowing freely down his face. 

Opposite him was Harry, standing straight and proud. His wand was also drawn, but not pointed at the other boy. He could see Severus; Ethan, however, could not. 

Lily showed up behind him less than fifteen seconds later, panting slightly. She too froze at the scene that lay in front of them; Ethan was only 14 and didn't know enough curses to hurt a fly. Harry, however, was sixteen and able to harm the boy if necessary. 

"You don't want to do that, Ethan." Harry growled, his eyes still on Severus and Lily standing in the doorway. 

"Why not?" Ethan laughed bitterly. "You'll get what you deserve." 

"Why exactly do I deserve to be blown to smithereens again?" Harry asked, slightly amused. Severus had now drawn his wand as well, pointing it at Ethan. Lily had hers out and ready, pointing it at Harry, but every few seconds her eyes would dart in the direction of Ethan, who was now fuming. 

"Short term memory now, Harry?" Ethan laughed, "Must be all those Potter genes floating through your body." 

"Must be." Harry shot back, shaking his head in the direction of his parents. 

Ethan laughed once more, "So you do admit it? You're a f-cking faggot." 

"Am I?" Harry smirked, "Why exactly is that, brother dearest?" 

"Everyone knows your father was a faggot. Look what he did to Mum – you don't deserve my Dad, you never did. I'd be doing them a favor, getting rid of you." 

"Do you honestly think," Harry shook his head, "That _you_, all three years of magical training, can kill me?" 

"Are you willing to take the chance?" Ethan's eyes were dancing now. 

"Are you willing to risk the consequences?" 

"No one will know it was me." Ethan smirked, "So I really don't see any." 

"Oh really?" Harry laughed, "Look behind you, idiot." 

Ethan dropped his wand and slowly turned around, his face ashen. 

"Mum!" he squeaked, "Dad!" 

"ETHAN ALEXANDAR SNAPE, put your GOD DAMN WAND DOWN NOW!" Lily yelled, her voice reaching levels even she didn't know she possessed. 

Trembling, Ethan set his wand down on the floor in front of him. With a flick of his own wand, Severus was soon holding it. 

"What the bloody hell was going on here?" Severus snapped, walking into the room. "Harry, wand." 

Harry threw his own wand to his father, trying to hide the smug look on his face. 

"He attacked me!" Ethan yelled, pointing to his nose. "He punched me and –" 

"Actually," Harry cut in, "He made another snide comment and proceeded to try and punch me. However, I got to him first." 

Lily shook his head, "Ethan, why?" 

"He – " Ethan was suddenly at a lose for words. Looking down at the floor, he just shook his head. 

"He's your brother… You're brothers." Severus sighed, shaking his head, "Why can't you two get along?" 

Suddenly, Lily felt a tug at the end of her robe. Looking down, she smiled as Pollux reached up and smiled. 

"Hi baby." Lily picked the child up, a fresh wave of guilt and pain washing through her as she looked into the child's eyes. "Where's Cass?" 

"Don't know." Pollux grinned, then looked over his mother's shoulder. "Harry!" 

The one year old squirmed and was immediately let down. Half walking, half crawling, he made his way over to his oldest brother, who proceeded to pick the child up. 

Pollux had always been ahead of Castor – he was the first to walk, to talk, and to learn the names of his brothers and sisters. Castor still only knew his mother, father, Dea, and Harry, and had an incredibly limited vocabulary (_"Mama_!"). Pollux's eyes were still bright blue, his hair a flaming red, much to Lily's disappointment. 

"Castor is with Jubby, ma'am." One of the house elves was directly behind Severus. 

"Thank you, Camy." Lily smiled, and then turned back to Ethan. "Do you realize exactly what you could have done?" 

"He couldn't have done anything, Mum." Harry said, "Except maybe stun me." 

"I wasn't going to, Mum." Ethan squeaked, "I was just –" 

"Acting like a total git and pretending to try and kill your brother?" Severus cut in. 

"He's not my brother." Ethan glared at Harry, who was still happily playing with Pollux. 

"He most certainly is." Lily said sharply, "And I don't ever want to hear those words out of your mouth again, you hear?" 

"He's my half-brother, then." Ethan snapped, "The only thing we share is you." 

"Ethan!" Severus bellowed, "Stop that, NOW." 

"Why?" Ethan asked, his black eyes narrowing. "It's not like I'm lying." 

"You're right," said Severus carefully, "You're not. But soon enough, if you don't stop, you'll be lying." 

"On the floor, that is." Lily warned. She shot Severus a glance. 

"God," Ethan spat, "What's gotten in to you two today? All of the sudden, you're taking the half-blood's side?" 

"If he's half-blood, you most certainly are." Lily said, her green eyes flashing. 

_Lily… Shh. He's your son.___

_ He's certainly not acting like it.___

_ Do you want me to handle it?___

_ No.___

_ If you don't be careful, you're going to hurt him.___

_ I won't.___

_ Lily… you're mad, you're angry, you're hurt, and not just because of Ethan. Let me handle this._

"No!" Lily exclaimed out loud, looking over at Severus. "No." 

Ethan shot his parents a startled look, to which Harry just shrugged. Pollux squirmed to be put down, and soon him and Camy were wandering throughout the mansion once more. 

"Listen," Harry started, "I really don't care. This isn't the first time this has happened, and it most certainly won't be the last. It's fine, no damage done." 

"Harry, you may go." Severus said, nodding towards his son. Harry nodded back, stepping out of the room and heading towards the South Wing. He slipped inside his bedroom quickly, locking the door behind him. 

Noting his father still had his wand, he took out a piece of parchment and a quill, sucking on the end of it briefly, thinking of what to write.__

_ D,___

_ Anything strange going on with Remus? Mum's been going out of her mind, and she's only been awake for a half hour. I know she met Remus yesterday – I heard her talk about it to Dad before she left, and I heard her crying when she got back. Do you know the details?___

_ H._

Sighing and letting his owl out of her cage, he tied to note carefully to her leg, setting the owl off. 

Laying down in his bed, he closed his eyes and allowed his thoughts to overcome him.__

_ This is going to be one hell of a summer._

He smiled to himself as sleep overcame him, his window open and the soft wind sending warm breezes through his window.__

_ One year left…_   



	91. Leave It To Draco

snape91 *shakes head* I'm gonna start to cry when I finish this story... seriously. 8 chapters to go... *sigh*. O well, enjoy the chapter. :o)   
Aimee   


Draco opened the letter cautiously, his eyes on the tawny owl standing in front of him expectantly, clicking her beak. 

"Hold on." He muttered, his eyes scanning the letter. Sighing, he set it down on his desk and smoothed out a spare piece of parchment. Dipping his quill into an ink bottle, he began to write. 

_Harry,___

_ Dad and your Mum had a falling out, as far as I can tell. He spilled it to me last night – apparently the tension was getting to them. He kept on going on about how she was the most important thing to him and all that, and how he loved her. It surprised me, actually. He admitted if he had to choose between my Mum and yours, he'd choose yours. I suppose since they're known each other so much longer and they know each other like the back of their hands. He was crying… I hate seeing grown men cry. He's a wreck, and he's not telling Mum what's wrong.___

_ Anything else you want to know?___

_ Love,___

_ D._

Folding the piece of parchment up, he tied it skillfully onto the leg of the owl on the windowsill. Taking a step back, he watched the owl take flight to deliver the reply to her master. 

"Bloody hell…" Draco shook his head, opening the door to his room and walking down to the sitting room, where his mother and Remus were sitting in completely silence. 

"Good afternoon, Mum, Dad." Draco nodded towards both of them, taking a seat across from the couple. 

"Hello, Draco." Narcissa smiled at the sight of her son. Draco turned his eyes towards Remus briefly, noting to himself that he looked a lot better than he had the previous night. 

"When's dinner going to be served?" Draco asked, trying to make conversation. Narcissa turned nervously towards Remus, who was now starring off into space. 

"In about an hour." Narcissa answered, shrugging slightly. Draco nodded, then turned towards Remus. Figuring he would have told Narcissa, Draco did the most idiotic thing he had done in a while. 

"I see you're getting along a bit better. Did you talk to her about it?" he asked, realizing his mistake almost at once. 

Remus' head shot up, a frantic look in his eyes. His panic ceased, however, after a moment, and he shook his head. 

"No reason to." 

Narcissa turned to her son, then her husband. "Talk to whom about what?" 

"Nothing, Mother." Draco said suddenly, "Forget I said anything." 

"No, tell me." Narcissa insisted, turning towards Draco once more. "Did I miss something?" 

"Lily Snape and I got into a slight disagreement, that's all." Remus said quietly, before Draco could say anything else. 

Narcissa's eyes widened slightly. "Oh! When did this happen?" 

"Last night." Remus answered. "It really isn't that big of a deal… really, Cissa." 

"What happened?" she asked gently, setting a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"We got into a fight – I guess – and we agreed not to see each other again." 

"No, she insisted." Draco shot Remus a look that told him, quite plainly, he wasn't going to allow him to lie to his mother. 

"Yes, she insisted." Remus said softer, not meeting Narcissa's gaze. 

"Are you ok?" she asked, squeezing his shoulder slightly. He nodded, his brown hair falling into his amber eyes. The Full Moon was in less than a week; now was not the time to get stressed out. 

"What was the argument about?" Narcissa asked curiously, trying her best to be gentle. 

"Err –" Remus glanced over at Draco, who nodded slightly. Sighing, he continued. "Well, before I even knew you, Cissa, we had a – err, accident. She can read and control minds, did you know that?" 

Narcissa looked mildly surprised. "I knew Severus could, but not Lily." 

"I guess he passed it to her." Remus shrugged slightly, not really caring at the moment. "Anyway… Two days after Christmas, a year and a half ago, we, err –" 

Remus flashed Draco a helpless look, his hands trembling slightly. Draco nodded, taking a breath. 

"They slept together, Mum." 

Narcissa turned towards Draco, surprised. "Pardon?" 

"Once. It was a one time thing… A total mistake." Remus insisted, his eyes focused on the wall behind Draco. "One would go as far to say that she forced me to." 

Narcissa raised her eyebrow slightly, "How?" 

"As I said earlier, Cissa, she can control minds." Remus shook his head, "I wouldn't have in any other situation, believe me." 

"And she wanted to break things off almost two years later because…?" Narcissa asked, the color returning to her pale cheeks slightly. 

"Because she has two reminders at home, and she thought ignoring it completely would help her get over the pain." Remus said sourly, not bothering to register the look of shock on Narcissa's face. 

"The twins… Yours… You mean…?" Narcissa gasped, looking at Remus to Draco and back again. 

"It's a possibility." Remus said, "One of the children has blue eyes. None of Severus' offspring has blue eyes." 

"Oh my God." Narcissa shook her head, then turned towards Draco. "You knew about this?" 

"Someone told me." Draco muttered, "And I saw Dad last night coming home… he woke me up, and we talked for a while." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Narcissa asked, this time turning back towards Remus. "Something as big as that…" 

"Because I was afraid of your reaction." Remus looked up at his wife for the first time in five minutes. "Like you're doing now." 

Narcissa looked down at her hands, which were gripped so tightly that when she released the pressure, there were eight moon-shaped indents on the palms of her hands. Shaking her head once more, she sighed. 

"I'm sorry for not telling you, Cissa… I just thought it'd be for the best." Remus said quietly, "Not knowing and all." 

"Will you ever find out if they're yours?" Narcissa asked, her voice barely audible. 

Remus shook his head. "No one knows for sure." 

Suddenly, a loud cry rang throughout the Manor. Both Narcissa and Remus sprang up at the same time, but with a look from Narcissa, Remus sat back down, head in his hands. Narcissa quickly left the room to attend to Micah, leaving time for Draco to apologize. 

"I'm sorry, really –" he started, his blue eyes focused frantically on Remus' face. 

"It's ok." Remus said quietly, "I should I have told her sooner. You were just giving me a push in the right direction." 

"She's not very mad," Draco said quietly, "I suppose this'll blow over soon enough." 

"Yes, for the four of us." Remus nodded his head in the direction of the hall. "But for Lily and I… I'm terrified she'll actually go through with this." 

"She won't." Draco said firmly, "Give her a few days and she'll realize how stupid she's being and she'll come back to you." 

"I hope so," Remus shook his head once more, "But… I don't think he did, but if Severus made her –" 

"Harry's Dad?" Draco asked, shaking his head, "No, he wouldn't do that. They seem far too much in love. He'd know how much that would hurt her, and I really don't think he'd do that." 

"I hope not." Remus sighed, "Else I'd have some major arse kicking to do." 

Silence passed between the two for a few moments before Draco sighed, leaning back into his chair. 

"You really love her, don't you?" 

Remus nodded, "Yes, I do." 

"Why'd you marry Mum, then?" 

Remus looked up at the sixteen year old, surprised. "I love your Mum, just in a different way than Lily." 

"Different as in how?" Draco knew he was prying, but at the moment he was too curious to care. 

"Your mother and I are married… I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her deeply." Remus said, "With Lily, it's more of a best friend love… Not completely platonic, not in the least, but she's my best friend and I love her as such." 

"So you love my Mum in such a way that you'd sleep with her and you love Lily in such a way that you'd tell her anything and occasionally share a bed?"   
  
Leave it to Draco to shed some light on the situation. Chuckling, Remus nodded slightly. 

"If you want to put it that way, yes. However, Lily and I… Only once." 

"Never again, even if she begged you?" Draco tilted his head to one side slightly. 

"I have your mother." Remus smiled, "I wouldn't dream of betraying her and the marriage we have. As the old saying goes, 'till death do us part'." 

"So, while you're married, you'll never betray her?" 

"Not in a million years."   
****   
****   
**__**   
**__**

**_Loving you like I never have before_**   
**_I'm needing you to open up the door_**   
**_If begging you might somehow turn the tides_**   
**_Then tell me to I've got to get this off my mind_****__**

**_I never thought I'd be speaking these words_**   
**_I never thought I'd need to say_**   
**_Another day alone is more than I can take_****__**

**_Won't you save me 'cause saving is what I need_**   
**_I just want to be by your side_**   
**_Won't you save me I don't want to be_**   
**_Just drifting through the sea of life_****__**

**_Won't you_**   
**_Listen please baby don't walk out that door_**   
**_I'm on my knees you're all I'm living for_****__**

**_I never thought I'd be speaking these words_**   
**_Heaven thought I'd find a way_**   
**_Another day alone is more than I can take_****__**

**_Won't you save me 'cause saving is what I need_**   
**_I just want to be by your side_**   
**_Won't you save me I don't want to be_**   
**_Just drifting through the sea of life_****__**

**_Suddenly the sky is falling_**   
**_Could it be it's too late for me_**   
**_If I never said I'm sorry, then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong_**   
**_Then I hear my spirit calling_**   
**_Wondering if she's longing for me_**   
**_And then I know that I can't live without her_****__**

**_Won't you save me 'cause saving is what I need_**   
**_I just want to be by your side_**   
**_Won't you save me I don't want to be_**   
**_Just drifting through this sea of life_****__**

**_Won't you save me_**   
**_Won't you save me_**   
**_Won't you save me*_****__**

**_*Hanson, Save Me_**


	92. Graduation (Friends Forever)

snape92 *sighs* Long chapter... Anyway, I promised someone that if I got 50 people asking me not to stop the story at 100, I won't. My side: Putting up a chapter a day is getting really hard, and I don't want to make the story too long... It already is. :o) I'd love to write more, but I'm afraid people are going to stop reading because it's so long. Also... the plot might be a little strange... and keep in mind, I *am* going to be writing a few sidestories and spinoffs to the story later on (like Harry and Draco's "relationship", going a bit more in depth and all). If I keep on going past 100, I'll be concentrating on other stories along with this one. But... I'd love to. So, tell me what you think... Also, I have a bone to pick with you guys. *looks around* 41 people have this story on their favorites list, and I'm not getting 41 reviews for each chapter. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but still... It'd be nice to know what you ALL think. Are any guys reading this? I don't think any are... Hmm. So sorry for the long A/N, enjoy.   
Aimee   


_ June 27th, 1998._

It had been seven years since Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and numerous other Seventh Years had first set their eyes on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. September 1st, 1991, was a day forever emblazoned in the minds, a representation of their past, present, and future. 

A private ceremony set aside for the Seventh Years and their family and friends was held that day; set for three o'clock in the afternoon, each student in turn was as nervous and excited as they ever had been. 

Up in the Gryffindor Dorms, Harry and Draco were sitting side by side, and every now and then, Draco would shoot malicious glances in the direction of the small First Years, including Drake. He was a Slytherin and generally didn't belong in the Gryffindor common room, but using the power of Head Boy, he had easily gotten Professor McGonagall to agree – or at least not say anything. 

"We're graduating today." Harry murmured for the third time in the past fifteen minutes. Draco simply nodded, his eyes focused on the fire. 

"What are you planning on doing afterwards?" Harry asked, his eyes flickering to the side of Draco's face. 

He shrugged, his blue eyes, glancing over to meet Harry's green ones. "I'm not sure. Possibly the Ministry… you?" 

"Quidditch, I think." Harry said lightly, a smile dancing on his face. "England, Ireland, France, and Bulgaria have offered." 

"Bulgaria and France?" Draco scoffed, "You don't even speak Bulgarian or French!" 

"True." Harry grinned, "But you have to admit, it'd be fun." 

"So you're going to leave me?" Draco sniffed sarcastically, pouting. "Damn. And here I was thinking my best friend and I were going to share a flat in some big city – maybe London – and pick up chicks together." 

Harry threw his head back and laughed, "You would think that, wouldn't you?" 

Draco grinned, "Ok, ok… Scratch the picking up chicks together part. When do you want to move in?" 

"Gotta pick a place first." Harry said, a smile still lingering on his face. "London, then?" 

"Sure, but I'm open to suggestions." Draco nodded just as Ron and Hermione stepped into view. 

"Today's the day." Ron grinned, his arm around his fiancée. "Are your parents coming?" 

Draco and Harry exchanged looks; they hadn't thought about that. Both Lily and Remus were coming… They hadn't seen each other in almost two years. 

"Yeah, they are." Harry said in a distant voice, his mind spinning slightly. "Yours?" 

"Yes, along with all of my brothers." Ron stuck his tongue out. "Mum and Dad insisted." 

"My parents are coming," Hermione grinned, "And I'm so excited! They're going to be thrilled with Hogwarts. The only magical place they've ever been was Diagon Ally." 

Both Draco and Harry smiled politely, Harry checking his watch in the process. "We're due in the Great Hall in fifteen minutes." 

"Do you want to do down early?" Ron suggest, playing with Hermione's hair. "It's not like we have anything better to do." 

"Our parents should be here by now." Draco said, "And I don't know about you, but I want to see…" 

Harry nodded vigorously, "So do I. Ten Galleons to say they're about to jump one another." 

"You're on." Draco grinned, "But I say they already have." 

The four made their way down to the Great Hall after a few minutes of getting their wands and such in order. It was their last day at Hogwarts; after Graduation and a Feast, they would be leaving the school. 

The Great Hall was decorated in all the House colors – a minor change from the night before's scarlet and gold hangings, in celebration of Gryffindor winning the House Cup for the seventh year in a row, save their Fourth Year for the Triwizard Tournament. All of the Weasleys were sitting in the second row, chatting happily among themselves and the Grangers, who were sitting in the row ahead – the first row. Harry could see his father talking with Professor McGonagall, who was now the Headmistress of the school. Squinting down the aisle, he noticed his redheaded mother sitting with all seven Snapes, including Castor and Pollux, who were now three years of age. 

"There!" After a sharp elbow to Harry's ribs, Draco nodded towards the back of the room, where Remus and Narcissa were sitting with Micah, now two years of age. 

Both Harry and Draco noticed Narcissa shoot a wondrous look over towards Lily and the twins. Remus' arm was wrapped around her shoulders with Micah in his lap, and he was trying his best to avoid looking at Lily. He was fighting a losing battle, however, as Draco pointed out a few minutes later. Remus had looked at the short redhead five times, but then had immediately focused his gaze up ahead. 

The ceremony started a few minutes later, with the seventy-five or so students sitting on a makeshift platform, eyes glued either to each other, McGonagall, or straight ahead at their family. Draco and Hermione were seated slightly to the right of the stand where Professor McGonagall was standing, her voice droning on and on throughout the Hall. 

Soon, it was Hermione's turn to speak. She had been made Head Girl the summer before, much to her delight. She stood in front of the audience, her hands trembling slightly. Clearing her throat, she began. 

"When I first stepped through the front doors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on September 1st, 1991, I didn't know what to expect. I was ecstatic to learn I was a witch, as I come from Muggle Family. Devouring the textbooks didn't even begin to prepare me for what lay ahead, enclosed in the grounds of the castle. 

"Throughout these seven years, I have been amazed, surprised, and delighted countless times. My experiences will stay with me forever, as each one of yours will. I am forever grateful to my classmates and teachers, as each one of them has enriched my experiences greatly. 

"Leaving the school it one of the worst – and best – things I've ever had to do. Leaving the place where so many of my best memories were formed, with my best friends – " Hermione shot a look at Harry, Ron, and Draco in turn. " – is going to be tough. However, I'm looking forward to going out on my own. The world's an exciting place. Dangerous and scary at times, yes, but exciting. And I, for one, can't wait to prove myself." 

Hermione grinned once more, "Congratulations to the class of '98!" 

Taking a step down as applause filled the room, it was now Draco's turn. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before starting. 

"I come from a very old and proud wizarding family, so I was not surprised in the least when I got my letter saying I was accepted. I was made a Slytherin, and for years lived up to the reputation. I threw myself into my studies mostly, never having any time for real friends. My mother was pleased, and so was I. 

"In my fifth year, I realized what I had been missing out on – having real friends at school, the ones where you can talk to and divulge your greatest secrets in to. A few months and unexpected twists of fate later, I had a real, true friend – from the opposite house." 

Draco smirked, looking over at Harry. "Despite our differences, we soon realized we had much in common. Both had our biological fathers taken from us at a young age from the same person; Lord Voldemort." 

A few people gasped and looked rather scandalized at the name. Draco, however, continued, a slight smile on his face. 

"He taught me what friendship really was, and he showed me how to have fun. For once in my life, I was happy. He's my best friend, and things will hopefully stay that way for a long time. Even though we were completely different on the outside, we found a common bond inside of us to hang on to a we made a friendship from that. 

"Look around you. These people went through the same experiences as you, for the most part. They have gone through seven years of wizarding training, seven years of happiness, tears, heartache, and joys we will never experience the same way again. We are all so different, as the Houses show us, but yet so much alike. After we graduate tonight, I want to be able to see any one of you on the streets of London and I want to be able to say hello to you, to know who you are. 

"Eventually, the memories will start to fade, you will forget names, and the spells you think are so hard now you will take for granite. But look around; remember the faces you see. You have lived possibly the seven best years of your life with these people. Never forget them, and never forget the experiences you shared. No matter what happens in our lives to come, we'll always share the common bond of being the Class of '98. Congratulations, and always remember these seven years. Never forget." 

Thunderous applause shook the Great Hall as Draco stepped down. His face was expressionless until he caught Harry's eye, and a small smile suddenly appeared. 

The ceremony continued as Professor McGonagall started calling names. The list went on until it reached Hermione Granger – who stepped up proudly to accept her scroll. 

Draco Malfoy was the next of the four to accept his. Smiling down proudly as his parents stood up and clapped as loud as any of the others, he shook his head slightly, then proceeded to stick his tongue out at Harry, who was sitting about twenty seats down from him. 

Harry Snape was next; as he walked up to McGonagall, he caught his father's eye. He was smiling proudly, his eyes locked on Harry's own. He also noticed his mother brushing her cheek quickly, applauding with the rest. 

Ron Weasley was second to last in the class, before Blaise Zambini. He gave Harry, Draco, and Hermione a high-five as he passed them, walking back to his seat with a hand pumped over his head in an excited manner. 

The closing comments were quickly said, and soon enough the crowd was departing with their graduate in tow, walking back up to their common rooms to wait for the Feast. 

Harry's family, save his mother, had never been in Gryffindor dorms before. Amazed at the difference from the cold and often damp stone Slytherin common room, both Ethan and Kaylee muttered something about it all being rather unfair. Harry just smiled and shook his head, walking over to join Hermione and Ron. 

"We're done it!" Ron exclaimed, grinning. "We've graduated!" 

"Amazing, eh?" Harry laughed, putting his arms around the two. "We're definitely going to terrorize the wizarding world together though." 

"Definitely." Hermione grinned just as Draco, Narcissa, and Remus walked through the portrait hole. Harry grinned and rushed over to Draco, not noticing the expression on Remus' face as he caught sight of Lily. 

"It's over." Harry grinned as Draco slithered out of his mother's grip. "We're officially adults now." 

"Scary, isn't it?" Draco laughed, glancing over at the Snapes. "Good Lord, the twins have grown." 

Harry turned around and nodded, "Tell me about it. I can barely pick both of them up as it is." 

"Wimp." Draco taunted, poking Harry in the side. "I bet I can." 

Harry eyed Draco's scrawny body. "I highly doubt it. You're as wimpy as I am, Mr. Draco Malfoy." 

"Point being?" Draco eyed Harry back. Rolling his eyes, Harry grabbed Draco's hand and dragged him over to his parents. 

"Mum, Dad, you remember Draco Malfoy, right?" 

Draco had only been over once during the previous summer, for a few days. Remus made sure Draco came in as little contact with Lily as possible. 

Severus smiled and nodded. "Yes, I do believe I remember young Mr. Malfoy. Congratulations." 

Draco smiled, "Thanks, Professor." 

"I'm not a professor anymore, Draco." 

"And I'm not quite as young as I used to be." Draco grinned. Severus chuckled, then nodded. 

"Yes, I have to agree with you on that." 

_ He's here._

_ Say hello._

_ I can't._

_ It's been two years, love._

_ I know… but I can't._

Severus sighed and shook his head, giving a pointed look to his wife. 

"I can't believe it's over." Ron had come up behind Draco and Harry, slapping the two on the back rather harshly. 

"Believe it, Weasley." Draco grinned, his tone friendly. "I'm rather glad it is." 

"Tell me about it." Hermione had come up from behind Ron. "No more homework!" 

All three guys gave her a shocked look. 

"We thought you liked doing homework?" Harry exclaimed slightly, his mouth agape. 

"After seven years of doing it constantly, it got rather –" 

"Hard?" Ron put in, smiling and squeezing Hermione's shoulder. 

"Aggravating." Hermione gave Ron a look, which soon led to a small kiss between the two. 

"For the next fifty years, those two are never going to stop." Harry shook his head, slinging an arm around Draco's shoulders. 

"It's going to get quite annoying, I'll tell you that." 

"Oh, shut it Malfoy." Ron groaned, looking up over the top of Hermione's head. 

"Why don't you, Weasley?" Draco grinned. Ron snorted and held up his pointer and middle finger, palm facing in his direction, then leaned down to kiss Hermione once more. 

Draco and Harry dissolved in to fits of laughter, as Mrs. Weasley was giving her youngest son a stern look. 

"He'll never learn." Harry grinned. 

"Boys will be boys." Draco interjected. 

"Thank God we're guys. We have that excuse." 

"Oh, is THAT what's so good about being a guy?" Draco asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Yes, I would have thought you would have figured that out by now." Harry grinned. 

"Of course I had, I was just testing you." 

"Sure Draco, what ever you say." 

"I was!" 

"If you say so."   
  
  
  


**_And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives_**   
**_Where we're gonna be when we turn 25_**   
**_I keep thinking times will never change_**   
**_Keep on thinking things will always be the same_**

**_But when we leave this year we won't be coming back_**   
**_No more hanging out cause we're on a different track_**   
**_And if you got something that you need to say_**   
**_You better say it right now cause you don't have another day_**

**_Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down_**   
**_These memories are playing like a film without sound_**   
**_And I keep thinking of that night in June_**   
**_I didn't know much of love_**   
**_But it came too soon_**

**_And there was me and you_**   
**_And then we got real cool_**   
**_Stay at home talking on the telephone with me_**   
**_We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared_**   
**_Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair_**   
**_And this is how it feels_**

**_As we go on_**   
**_We remember_**   
**_All the times we_**   
**_Had together_**   
**_And as our lives change_**   
**_Come whatever_**   
**_We will still be_**   
**_Friends Forever_**

**_So if we get the big jobs_**   
**_And we make the big money_**   
**_When we look back now_**   
**_Will our jokes still be funny?_**   
**_Will we still remember everything we learned in school?_**   
**_Still be trying to break every single rule_**

**_Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?_**   
**_Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan?_**   
**_I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye_**   
**_Keep on thinking it's a time to fly_**   
**_And this is how it feels_**

**_As we go on_**   
**_We remember_**   
**_All the times we_**   
**_Had together_**   
**_And as our lives change_**   
**_Come whatever_**   
**_We will still be_**   
**_Friends Forever_**

**_We will still be friends forever_**

**_Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?_**   
**_Can we survive it out there?_**   
**_Can we make it somehow?_**   
**_I guess I thought that this would never end_**   
**_And suddenly it's like we're women and men_**   
**_Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?_**   
**_Will these memories fade when I leave this town_**   
**_I keep thinking that it's not goodbye_**   
**_Keep on thinking it's a time to fly_**

**_As we go on_**   
**_We remember_**   
**_All the times we_**   
**_Had together_**   
**_And as our lives change_**   
**_Come whatever_**   
**_We will still be_**   
**_Friends Forever*_**

***Vitamin C, Graduation**   



	93. What Dreams May Come

snape93 *looks around* I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 48 HOURS! *grins* And I'm proud of it. AA's really doing wonders... What is AA, you ask? Authors Addicted, of course. I saw Legally Blonde, and it was hilarious... Luke Wilson's awesome. You think this little break from posting was bad? Wait till I go away for four or five days... Right when I'm gonna start posting the 'father' chapters... hahahahaaaa....   
Aimee   
  


We were finally all home, the day after Harry's graduation. Severus and I had Apparated home, leaving the children to take the Hogwarts Express. We met them later than evening at King's Cross, waiting for nearly an hour as Harry said goodbye to his former classmates. 

That evening, Harry mentioned his plans to get a flat in London – with Draco Malfoy. My surprise must have shown on my face, for both Severus and Harry gave me a strange look. 

"Harry – dear," I started, "Draco? Are you sure?" 

Harry nodded, "Mum, Hermione and Ron are getting married – Draco's one of my best friends." 

"Four years ago, you would have loved to see his head on a stake." Severus put in, raising an eyebrow slightly. 

"That was then," Harry interjected, "This is now." 

"But – Harry, Draco? Why?" I asked. 

"Mum, I know the reason you don't want me to – you have to get over it." Harry gave me a pointed glance. I sighed, shaking my head. 

"And how do you know?" 

He smirked slightly, "He's not a Lupin, Mum. He's a Malfoy." 

I cringed slightly at the sound of Remus' name. It had been an unspoken rule in the house not to mention it for the past two years. "I'm perfectly fine with that." 

"No, you're not." Harry said gently, as if he was the parent and I was the child. "You're afraid that your son having his step-son for a roommate will force you two to acknowledge each other's presence." 

I shook my head, but before I could say a word, he spoke once more. 

"Mum, please. It's been two years… You have to get over it." Harry gave me a pleading look. He looked so much like James… Too much… 

"I'll get over it when I'm ready." Perhaps I spoke a bit too sharply, but at that point and time, I really didn't care. 

"He's right, love." Severus put in quietly, looking at his hands. "We're not asking you to see each other on a daily basis, even a monthly one. Just to tolerate being in the same room and not look like you're both about to break down." 

"I can't!" I suddenly exclaimed, straightening up sharply. "Far too much has happened… you both know that." 

"Lil, you're throwing one of the best friendships you've ever had out the window. I hate to see you do that to yourself." Severus said, looking past me at the doorway. "Yes, Cass?" 

I whipped around, my frown dissolving into a smile as Castor came running into the room. "Hi Mummy, hi Daddy, hi Harry!" he exclaimed, his three year old arms latching around my knees. I smiled and picked him up into my lap. 

"Hey Cass… What are you up to? Where's your elf?" I asked, smoothing his hair back. 

He grinned, showing off his slightly crooked front teeth. "In my closet." 

My eyes widened as Harry and Severus started laughing. 

"Castor… You didn't." I warned, suppressing a smile. 

"I did!" he grinned, climbing off of me and into Severus' lap. 

I started laughing along with Harry and Severus as Severus sat the boy down in his lap and wrapped his arms around him. "You're going to let her out, aren't you?" 

Castor's eyes widened innocently. "But Pollux said she'd like it in there!" 

I smirked, "And where is your brother?" 

"What one?" Castor asked, looking over at Harry. "Harry's right there." 

"Pollux, dear." Severus answered for me. 

"In the room." 

'The room' was the bedroom the twins slept in – they had refused to sleep in their own rooms, and when we tried, they would always meet in one of the two rooms and curl up together. 

Harry went and unlocked the house elf, then brought Pollux into the room. Castor immediately ran to his twin's side, grinning like mad. 

"Pollux…" I said in a warning voice. "You know better than to lock your house elf in your closet." 

He grinned sheepishly, his blue eyes gazing up into my amber ones. I immediately felt a stabbing pain of guilt – the same one I had been experiencing for the past four years. It washed over me, the familiar sensation taking over my senses. I closed my eyes briefly, screaming inside. 

_Fuck it… This is impossible.___

_ What is, love?___

_ This.___

_ This would be what, precisely?___

_ Pollux… his eyes.___

_ You need to get over it, Lil. I have.___

_ I know, I know Sev… But it's so hard. Imagine sleeping with your best friend in the world, then having to face them.___

_ I already have.___

_ Have what?___

_ Slept with my best friend.___

_ Smart ass.___

_ I know._

That night, I fell asleep wrapped up in Severus' arms, perfectly content for the first time in months. Listening to the sound of Severus' heart beat, I kissed him softly, snuggling closer to his warm body. 

_Heat… immense heat. There was another body… He was there, on top of me, kissing me… I was ecstatic, confused, and angry all at the same time, but try as I might, I couldn't stop my body from reacting to his soft touches.___

_ Colours were swirling all around me, even as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His lips still covered mine, suffocating me, yet breathing life into my lungs at the same time.___

_ He was all over me; I had no means of escape. I slowly sank in to his embrace, savoring the taste of his mouth. I opened my eyes once more as he lifted his lips from mine, and starred into his blue eyes.___

_ Wait – blue? I was confused for a moment, then finally realized what was happening. The man wasn't Severus – it was Remus. I started to squirm violently, but I knew it was futile. Almost immediately, his beautiful face turned into a face I hadn't seen nor dreamt about in years.___

_ His blue eyes turned red and snake – like, his tanned skin turned ghastly white. His broad features turned long and delicate. I was starring into the face of Lord Voldemort._

I woke up with a start, my body still surrounded and held tightly by Severus' arms. He was running his fingers through my hair, his warm breath tickling my face. 

"Oh God…" I muttered, torn between screaming and crying. 

"It was only a dream, love." He whispered, kissing my forehead lightly. 

"You saw?" I asked quietly, burying my face into his chest. 

"Yes," he murmured, "You were squirming and moaning in your sleep. I figured it was worth listening to." 

"Sorry." I sighed, "My subconscious has a mind of it's own." 

He smiled slightly, "Yes, I figured that. I'm rather glad you thought it was me, however." 

"Tells you something, doesn't it?" I dug my fingers into his back, gripping tightly. "If this goes on any longer, it's going to kill me." 

"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." Severus said whispered, "Talk to him, love." 

"I can't." I whispered. "It hurts too much." 

"You're killing yourself." He sighed, "Please, baby… for me?" 

I sighed, "I've tried… I tried yesterday, but I just couldn't. There were far too many painful memories." 

"I'll be with you the whole time, you know that." Severus said. 

I breathed in his scent for a moment, then sighed once more. "I can't. At least not right now… I will thought, eventually. I promise." 

Severus nodded, then kissed me once more. "And when you do, I promise I'll be there for you." 

"Thank you, Sev." I smiled slightly, "I love you." 

"I love you too, Lil, and you're welcome."   
  



	94. A Toast To Death

snape94 I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday... I got a bit tied up. I'm sorry, also, that this chapter's so short. I know it doesn't make up for anything... But oh well. I have 30 votes so far... anyone else for me continuing the story?   
Aimee   


It had been two years since Harry and Draco graduated… two years since the two moved into a London flat, leaving their families and many siblings behind for the bustle of city life. For two years, there had only been one child in the Malfoy/Lupin household, seven in the Snape mansion. With each passing day, the children grew older, gained more knowledge, and came closer and closer to the freedom that surrounded their oldest siblings. 

It was May 17th that everything happened; two families, driven apart by one night of indulgences, brought back together by an act of sin and an act of love. 

"Sev?" 

It was early morning that day; the sun had yet to rise, and Lily was lying wrapped up in Severus' arms, curled up under the blankets. 

"Yes, love?" 

It didn't matter what time she asked his assistance, asked him to listen, ask him to love. He always responded without haste, doing her bidding as she pleased. 

"It happened again." 

She could see the lines form on his forehead as the words turned over in his mind. 

"What happened again?" 

She smiled. "This." 

Taking his hand, she set it over her stomach, pressing gently. Almost immediately, Severus sensed a second heartbeat coming from her womb. 

Smiling, he kissed her. "Another, love?" 

"Yes." Sighing once more, she looked up at him, her eyes slightly unfocused in the moonlight. "Are you happy?" 

"Ecstatic." He smiled again, pulling her tighter. "Will this help you?" 

She thought for a moment, finally nodding. "Yes, I think so." 

"Maybe…?" 

Lily shook her head, "I can't. You know that." 

"Four years, love." 

"Six since it's happened, and I still haven't been able to shake it." 

"Talking to him will help you put it all behind you." 

"I know." She sighed, closing her eyes once more. "I'm tired, can we go back to sleep?" 

He chuckled slightly, then nodded. "Of course. Good night, love." 

"Night?" Lily smiled, "It's morning."   
  


Five years of marriage wasn't enough. A child together wasn't enough. It was all pointless anyway – they would live their lives, then die. There was no reason, no mean or worth behind it all. Perhaps, for the bigger pictures, yes, but in the general life – nothing. 

She sighed, closing her eyes and reflecting back on the past four. The first year was wonderful – she couldn't have asked for a better marriage. She had her daughter… she would be old enough to remember her, but not feel the full sting of what she was about to do. 

What had it all turned out like this? Her life would have been perfect if it hadn't been for Voldemort. Voldemort had taken her first husband – the father of her son – away from her. He had taken the man many women referred to as "Luscious Lucius" away, leaving her alone. 

_It's been far too long… Why can't I let this go? It's over, they aren't speaking anymore and haven't for years. He's all mine… Yet he's so far away. Each Full Moon, you know what he's thinking… he's thinking of her and how's she handling it. She has the Wolfsbane potion, however. He doesn't. For a glorious seven years, as he taught, he did. He kept his mind… He didn't with her, however. He wasn't himself. She made him. She raped him._

_ Rape… Rape is far too strong a word. Forced, perhaps. Controlled. My husband was forced by his best friend to f-ck her… He didn't want it. He couldn't have. He's my husband… he loves me… he could never have done that._

_ He didn't know me then. What am I thinking? He didn't love me like that then… he loved her. He still loves her. They have two children together, we only have Micah._

_ No – the twins, they aren't his. If they are, we don't know and perhaps we never will. If Lily holds no self-respect towards herself, then Severus will give the children the ounce of dignity they deserve. They don't deserve anymore – they're byproducts of a night veiled in sin._

_ My life never really meant anything… How could it? I was a trophy wife for one of the most powerful men in the English wizarding world, I bore his heir – then nothing. A man came and tried to love me, but once again I was pushed aside, this time for someone he'll never have._

_ I'm sick and tired of having to battle life on my own. Draco's gone now – turned into the pouf Lucius would have disowned in a moment's time. He gets along all right, even though his roommate's as straight as a nail. He'll have a good life… Remus will look over him for me._

Taking a goblet full of wine, Narcissa opened a tiny glass vile, dumping the contents inside. Slowly yet surely, she raised the goblet, a benign smile upon her face. 

_ A toast… _she laughed, _To death._

Putting the goblet up against her lips, she didn't even have time to savor the taste of the wine. As the liquid poured down her throat, the poison spreading rapidly through her veins, the goblet clattered to the floor, a limp body falling next to it. 

_ Here's to you, love._   
  
  


**_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_**   
**_Stop me and steal my breath_**   
**_Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky_**   
**_Never revealing their depth_****__**

**_Tell me that we belong together_**   
**_Dress it up with the trappings of love_**   
**_I'll be captivated_**   
**_I'll hang from your lips_**   
**_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_****__**

**_I'll be your crying shoulder_**   
**_I'll be love suicide_**   
**_I'll be better when I'm older_**   
**_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_****__**

**_Rain falls angry on the tin roof_**   
**_As we lie awake in my bed_**   
**_You're my survival, you're my living proof_**   
**_My love is alive not dead_****__**

**_Tell me that we belong together_**   
**_Dress it up with the trappings of love_**   
**_I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips_**   
**_And stand at the gallows of heartache, that hang from above_****__**

**_I'll be your crying shoulder_**   
**_I'll be love suicide_**   
**_I'll be better when I'm older_**   
**_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_****__**

**_I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead_**   
**_Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said_****__**

**_I'll be your crying shoulder_**   
**_I'll be love suicide_**   
**_I'll be better when I'm older_**   
**_I'll be the greatest fan of your life*_****__**

**_*Edwin McCain, I'll Be_**   
**_(Cookie to the person who figures out who the song's about... Two people, mind you.)_**


	95. Dragons

snape95 So sorry for not posting this last night... Currently, it's 2 AM, and I was shut down from the wonderful server. I saw Dogma, and good Lord, it's one of the best (and funniest) movies I've ever seen (on second thought, also one of the goriest). Not for the religious fanatics among us... It doesn't mock relgion, but it certainly shows quite a few off the wall beliefs. Alan Rickman's in it too, *and* he drops his pants. Not like there's anything to see (angels can't fuck), but it's still laugh-worthy. O... and for the first part of this lovely chapter... So sorry, but I had to. It's been bugging me and I want to make it clear... but I think most of you guys will like this chapter... For more than one reason. :o)   
Aimee   
  


Light cascaded into the room, through the blinds covering the window. Draco rubbed his eyes, squinting slightly. Hearing a tapping noise, he quickly sat up and looked over at the bright window. Standing on the sill, ruffling its feathers, was an eagle owl he recognized as one of his own. 

Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he stood up and walked over to the window, opening it and smiling slightly as the breeze hit his face. The owl hopped inside, dropping the letter on the small table on Draco's left. He pet the owl once, then grabbed the letter. 

Opening the parchment with clumsy hands, he sighed, reading the black ink with a certain weariness. 

_Draco,___

_ Come home, now. Please… Something's happened. As soon as you can (NOW), come. It's incredibly important._   
  
_ Remus_

Shaking his head, Draco set the letter down on the table and turned back towards the bed. Walking towards it, he sat down on the edge, falling over onto it's length. 

"Harry… Get up." 

He felt movement under his neck and heard a slight grumbling sound coming from under one of the many pillows adoring the king sized bed. "Why?" 

He turned over, laying correctly on the bed. "Because we have to go see Remus and Mum. He says it's important." 

Harry sat up, his black hair all over the place. "What time is it?" 

"Don't know." Draco answered, peering over at the bright red letters of the alarm clock on the table next to Harry's side. "Eight sixteen." 

"Fuck." Harry sighed, falling back down. "You keep me at that god forsaken club all night, then expect me to get up before the crack of dawn?" 

"Harry," Draco smirked, "It's well past dawn." 

"Bloody hell." Harry murmured, shoving a pillow back down on his face. Draco grinned slightly and edged towards the figure, his blue eyes dancing slightly. 

"Harry James Potter Snape, get your ass up right now or I swear to God, I'll tell your Mum that you're –" 

"You wouldn't." Harry sat up once more before Draco could finish his sentence, eyebrow raised. "I know you wouldn't." 

"Want to try me?" Draco raised an eyebrow, matching Harry's expression. Sighing, Harry rolled over off the bed, hitting the floor with much more force than he intended. After a muffled curse, he stood up and waddled his way towards the bathroom, pulling off his white undershirt. 

"I hate you." Harry glared at his blonde counterpart, just before slamming the bathroom door shut. 

Laughing, Draco quickly dressed him self, wandering off into their fairly large kitchen and pouring two bowls of cereal just as Harry came plodding out of the bathroom. 

"What do you want to drink?" Draco asked, holding up a carton of milk and a quart of orange juice. 

"Vodka." Harry mumbled, rubbing his head. "Or an aspirin." 

"Aspirin it is." Draco smirked at his friend, then went to grab a plastic bottle out of the medicine cabinet. Struggling with the bottle slightly, he sighed, his face contouring up a look of concentration. 

"Damn child-proof caps." 

Laughing, Harry took the bottle and quickly popped the top off, pouring four aspirins into his hand. Downing the pills with orange juice, he shook his head and watched Draco wolf down his cereal. 

After about ten minutes, Draco looked at Harry, face expressionless. "Ready?" 

Nodding, Harry smirked just as the two Disapparated with a _pop_. 

As the Malfoy-Lupin living room came into view, both Draco and Harry got a feeling of dread settling at the pit of their stomachs. Standing in front of them was a rather testy looking Severus, and behind him, sitting on the couch, was Remus and Lily. 

Remus had his head on her shoulder, tears pouring down his face. Lily was rocking him back and forth slightly, her own eyes red with crying. 

Remus sat up almost immediately when they appeared. Severus stepped forward, setting a hand on each Draco and Harry's shoulders. After a moment of realization, Draco let out a strangled cry, backing up from the adults. 

"No…" He shook his head furiously, his eyes darting from one person to another. "No… Tell me she's ok." 

Remus shook his head, more tears running down his cheek. Harry looked bewildered from his parents to Remus to Draco, not knowing what to do. A moment later, however, Draco turned around and bolted out of the room and down the halls, his footsteps echoing loudly behind him. 

After a fleeting look towards his father, Harry took off after Draco, head spinning from the empty corridors surrounding him. 

After nearly ten minutes of searching, Harry finally found Draco curled up on a bed in what looked like his old room. There was a desk covered in books and parchment in a corner, along with a wardrobe and a large armchair set in front of a fireplace that, regardless of the obvious disuse of the room, had a roaring fire in it. 

"Draco?" Harry asked quietly, moving towards the sobbing figure. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, the twenty year old set his hand on his best friend's shoulder, frowning slightly. 

"She can't be…" Draco whispered, his voice hoarse. "It's impossible." 

"I'm so, so sorry…" Harry said quietly, gently pulling Draco into a sitting position. "Come on, let's go back to Remus." 

Slowly, the two made their way back to their parents, Harry half-carrying Draco in his arms. As they reached the sofa in the living room, the two collapsed, ignoring the looks from their family. 

"Dad?" Draco asked quietly, looking up at Remus. "How?" 

"She killed herself." Remus said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I found her a little past midnight." 

Trembling, Draco set his hand on his step-father's shoulder. "What did she do?" 

"Poison." Remus spat slightly, eyes downcast. "Poison and ice wine." 

Shaking his head, Draco smirked bitterly. "Just like her. Always the fancy one." 

Sighing, Remus pulled Draco into a hug, aware of the three sets of eyes looking at the two of them. The two men cried silently into each other's shoulders while the three eldest Snapes looked on, feeling slightly out of place. 

_God… how did this happen?___

_ I don't know, Lil.___

_ Narcissa… I thought she was happy.___

_ She certainly seemed so.___

_ Remus is gone.___

_ I know, love.___

_ He's never going to be the same.___

_ That's the second love of his life he's lost.___

_ Sev… Just friends.___

_ He certainly wishes it were more, and don't deny you've thought about it.___

_ Damn this ability… I won't, but you know –_   
  
_ That you love me and couldn't imagine being with any other man. Yes, love, you've told me quite a few times.___

_ I'm sorry.___

_ There's nothing to be sorry about… Look at those two. Could you believe that they hated each other at one point?___

_ Remus and Draco or Harry and Draco?___

_ Harry and Draco.___

_ What on Earth is going on between the two of them?___

_ I'm not sure I want to know, love.___

_ He is… straight, isn't he?___

_ Harry? Yes, as far as I know.___

_ What about Draco?___

_ Bi.___

_ Wonderful.___

_ Don't think you can effect what ever it is that's going on between the two of them… as far as we know, nothing.___

_ I know, Sev… And until Harry tells us, if there's anything to tell, it will remain nothing.___

_ They both need a friend right now..___

_ Thank God they have each other.___

_ What's going to happen to Micah and Remus?___

_ I don't know… I suppose, now that we're talking, we'll be watching her a bit more often than we wanted to… Then again, Remus –___

_ Remus will be getting the Wolfsbane potion from now on.___

_ Thank you, Sev. I know he'll appreciate that. Transforming with it is so bad… without it, I don't even want to imagine.___

_ Yes, I'm sure you don't, love. Nor will you ever have to.___

_ Such a tragedy…___

_ It happens to the best of us, love.___

_ Yes, unfortunately, it does._   
__   
__   
__

**_I'm watching the dragons as they make another claim_**   
**_He used to be a friend of mine_**   
**_I called him by his name_**   
**_Well there's nothing you can say to nirvana_**   
**_When it's packed up in a syringe_**   
**_We'll call up your Mama_**   
**_And bus in all your friends_****__**

**_Well I'm watching the dragons_**   
**_Slither out of sight_**   
**_And I wonder who'll be sleeping alone tonight_**   
**_Tonight_****__**

**_Beth lost her sister_**   
**_They came and they took her away_**   
**_And there ain't enough pills in the world_**   
**_And nothing I can say_**   
**_So I tell her I love her_**   
**_That she's a friend_**   
**_Each time I leave her_**   
**_I wonder if I'll see her again_****__**

**_Well I'm watching the dragons_**   
**_Slither out of sight_**   
**_And I wonder who'll be sleeping alone tonight_**   
**_Who'll be sleeping alone tonight_****__**

**_And I looked in the mirror_**   
**_The dragon has been informed_**   
**_I wonder if he's coming for me_**   
**_Cause I have been forwarned_****__**

**_And I'm watching the dragons_**   
**_Slither out of sight_**   
**_And I wonder who'll be sleeping alone tonight_**   
**_Tonight*_******

***Edwin McCain, Dragons**   
**(I actually typed that up by myself... crazy. I know the lyrics are right because I have them saved somewhere. Also, for those of you that can't quite grasp what the song means by "dragons", it's death. Dragons represent Death in this song, and the lyrics fit. I am totally in love with this song, sorry. :o) )******

**And here it is, spelled out:**   
**HARRY AND DRACO SLEEP IN THE SAME BED.**   
**__**

  



	96. Play It By Ear

snape96 Hey guys.. miss me? I thought so. I went on vacation (well, family reunion and then a surprise detour to Cedar Point today, which is the reason I'm resembling a lobster.) and I didn't write anything... Well, not true, I wrote a third of a page. :o) I have huge handwriting to, so that was bad. It's currently 1:11 AM, and the server's down... yippe. I'll post this tomorrow morning. And to all of you that had a serious panic-attack with the last chapter (I found those hilarious, just to tell you) - you might find this chapter, or part of it, rather... mocking-ish. So sorry, but I got sick of the "eww, slash, yuck". As gurl so innocently put it, I never said they *did* anything in the bed, they just share one. They're both bi... get over it. THIS WILL NOT BE SLASH! AT ALL! And, *gasp*, Harry has a steady girlfriend. Yippe. Ties in with the spin off, which I'm in the middle of writing. The spin off will be slash, but not to the point where it's just gross. I don't do sex, even in this story I only did "details" when it was absolutely necessary (i.e. Remus and Lily). Even then... were they so bad? And I'm not a guy, so I'm not exactly well versed in the subject of m/m. It was more of a gag than anything, to see how many people would object... I gotta say, I expected better. Do you guys really hate homosexuals so much you can't read a story where it's mentioned? I'm sorry if this is sounding mean, but... really... It's a part of life, whether you choose to accept it or not. No more slash at all, I promise. Even then... where on Earth was the slash in the last chapter? Geez. Luv ya all though. :o) Sorry for the long A/N. And the Father Chapters begin...   
Aimee   
__   
__ __

_ "CASTOR! GET THE F-CK OFF OF ME!"_

Pollux pushed his twin brother off of his chest, rolling around and pinning him down on the ground. Blue eyes blazing, he bared his teeth, ignoring the laughs coming from Castor's throat. 

"You stupid git," Castor laughed, rolling over and dumping his much smaller counterpart off of him. Standing up, he brushed his robes and offered his hand to Pollux. 

"You should know better than to wrestle with me." Castor grinned as he pulled Pollux up. 

"True… Where's Mum?" 

Castor shrugged, looking around their room. It was completely trashed – clothes and parchment lay strewn on the floor, books stacked up all over the room, even on the two beds standing in the middle of it. Posters of various Quidditch teams – including the one their eldest brother was on – adorned the walls, the players waving at them. 

Sighing, Castor walked out of their room and down the hall, passing quite a few doors on the way. Finally coming to the last one, he knocked twice and waited for it to open. 

Lily stuck her head out, raising it a bit when she saw her youngest son. "Hello Cass, what's up?" 

"When's Dad gonna be back?" 

Severus had been at Hogwarts for nearly a week now, with no talk of returning. He had been working with the current Potions Master on the Cure for nearly three years now, and was often gone. 

"By tonight, hopefully." Lily answered, ruffling her fifteen year old son's hair. "You and your brother weren't wrestling again, were you?" 

Castor grinned sheepishly, "I'm careful, honest." 

Lily crossed her arms, a smile tugging on her lips. "Just don't crush him. He's smaller than you, you know." 

"Yes, I know." Castor grinned, his green eyes lighting up slightly. "Are Harry and Ethan coming to dinner?" 

Lily laughed, "You know damn well, Cass, those two refuse to be in the same room with each other for more than thirty seconds." 

"And why is that?" Castor asked, slightly miffed. 

"It's a long, long story, love." Lily smiled, backing away from the door. "Come on in, talk to your old mother." 

Following his mother in, Castor sat down in one of the large armchairs and watched his 53 year old mother collapse into one of the larger sofas. 

"So, is Harry coming to dinner at least?" 

Lily nodded, "Him and Draco." 

"Doesn't he have a game in a few days?" Castor asked, curious. Lily nodded once more. 

"Against the Chudley Cannons." 

Castor grinned, "They're gonna get flattened." 

"Perhaps." Lily smiled, suddenly becoming very still. Her eyes glazed over slightly, and a moment later she spoke. 

"Your father's home." 

Castor grinned and got up quickly, throwing the door open to the room and running back down the hallway, grabbing his twin and running down a set of stairs into the entrance hallway, where Severus stood, removing his traveling cloak. Next to him was Lily, a grin on her face. 

"Dad!" Both Castor and Pollux spoke at the same moment, running towards their father and stopping right before him. Smiling, Severus gave the two bear hugs, his pale skin radiating warmth.   
  
"Figure anything else out?" Lily asked her husband, wrapping her arms around his torso. 

"We're close," Severus nodded, "Very close." 

"Good." Lily nodded, her amber eyes twinkling slightly. Looking from her husband to her sons, she shook her head suddenly, glancing at her watch. 

"It's nearly 6… Jubby should have dinner ready soon, I'd imagine." 

Severus nodded, looking around the foyer. "Where's Glory?" 

Lorelei Glory was the youngest of the nine siblings, being only twelve years old. 

"She's out with Remus." Lily answered, eyes moving towards the floor slightly. 

"He's coming to dinner?" 

"Him and Harry." Lily answered as the twins trailed behind them. 

"Draco too, I'm assuming?" Severus asked, opening the door to their bedroom and leading the three inside. Turning around, he laughed. "You guys, really." 

"Harry and Draco are coming to dinner?" Pollux asked curiously, then turned towards Castor. "Did you know about this?" 

Castor nodded slightly. The two thirty-three year olds were Castor and Pollux's favorite company, mainly due to Draco's outspokenness and Harry's readiness to allow them to get away with murder. Each of their visits were met with anticipation and excitement – Harry and Draco made sure the twins were never let down. 

Their relationship had gone from hatred to friendship to what they deemed as love within a matter of three years, unbeknownst to their parents. It was known Draco had been bi – or at least suggested multiple times – but when Lily and Severus had found about Harry, it had come as a total shock. 

Their reaction, as parents, had driven the two men to their first of many fights and breakups. Draco, staying true to Harry, had dated very few people during these times, never once straying from him. Harry, however, had become – in Draco's words – a complete slut. Much to Draco's delight, however, Harry never slept with another man, and much to Severus' relief, his partners had only been female. 

The two were once again in a only-friends stage, which seemed to suit them fairly well for the time being. Harry, having a steady girlfriend on the side, and Draco, once again staying true to form, were due in the Snape Mansion at any time as Severus started unpacking. 

"None of the other children are coming?" he asked, hanging five sets of robes in the wardrobe. 

Lily shook her head, taking in a deep breath. "Ethan… well, Harry's coming. Kaylee's too busy with her kids to come, Dea's in France, Drake's off in America with his girlfriend, and Dakota's too busy with the wedding." 

"But Cass, Glor, and me are coming." Pollux grinned, stretching his lanky frame out across one of the sofas. 

"Cass, Glor, and I." Lily corrected automatically, glancing over at the desk. 

_ I need to talk to you alone, it's important.___

_ Kick the twins out then.___

_ Can't.___

_ And why is that?___

_ He's looking at me._

Severus sighed, shaking his head and turning towards the twins. "Guys, out. Your Mum and I need to talk." 

Mumbling slightly to one another, the two left, closing the door behind them, leaving Severus and Lily alone. 

_I wonder if Pollux's figured out all he has to do is look at you and he gets what ever he wants?___

_ Knowing my luck, he has. Can't I go in and change his eye colour in the middle of the night or something? Please?___

_ And how exactly would you care to explain that to him the next morning?___

_ Err…___

_ Exactly. Now why did you want to talk to me alone, seeing as how we're not really talking at all?___

_ Minerva sent me something.___

_ And what would that be, love?___

_ The answer._

Severus dropped the book he had been holding, his black eyes wide with shock. "Pardon?" 

"You heard me." said Lily, her gaze locked downward. 

"You mean… How?" Severus' face had gone pale, and he had taken a seat next to his wife on the bed. 

Lily shrugged, "I'm not sure exactly." She held up two pieces of parchment, one with scrawly handwriting on the front, bearing Lily's full name. 

"I read Minerva's letter. Here." She handed the second piece of parchment to Severus, who opened it curiously. 

_Dear Lily and Severus,___

_ Before Albus Dumbledore died, he told me something that has stunned me even to this day, 15 years later. I'm sure you're quite aware of the situation I'm referring to, so I won't bother to elaborate. The answer – the one I'm sure you two have been wondering about ever since Castor and Pollux were conceived – lies within his last letter. If you feel as if the contents could bear more harm then good, please, don't allow yourself to read it. For the sake of the twins.___

_ I'm not entirely sure how I came across it; your grandfather had his own ways of doing things, as brilliant as he was. Please, read his letter with great caution, or perhaps not at all. I did not open it, but he also briefed me on the contents. I can assure you, the answer lies within.___

_ Please inform the twins I wish them a very Happy 15th Birthday.___

_ Sincerely,___

_ Minerva McGonagall_

Severus turned the letter over carefully in his hands, reading it for a second time, hardly believing his eyes. Finally tearing his eyes away from it, he looked at his wife, a feeling of utter helplessness washing over him. 

"We don't have to." Lily said quietly, "It'd just be nice to know. It really doesn't matter now." 

Severus nodded numbly, agreeing. "The question is, when do we tell Remus, and more importantly, the twins?" 

Lily sighed, shrugging. "Tonight, I guess. Can you think of a better time?" 

Severus shook his head, "No. But, we must tell the twins before we open the letter… Can you inform Remus when he arrives? And Harry, please." 

Lily nodded slowly, her auburn hair falling into her eyes. Looking up at him, she started trembling slightly, then finally rested her head against his shoulder. 

"This is it." Holding the letter bearing her name in her hand and turning it over time and time again. "Fifteen years worth of wondering, of fights… It all boils down to this."   
  
Severus kissed the top of her head, running his fingers through her hair. "You know just as well as I do that it won't matter what the envelope contains. To the twins, perhaps, but to me – just as I raised Harry as my own, I have done it to the twins as well. It doesn't matter to me anymore, they're my sons, regardless of blood." 

Lily nodded, "What if Remus… if he wants them?" 

"That would mean they were his, and love, I highly doubt that." Severus smiled slightly. "I have a feeling things will turn out for the best, love. If not – we'll play it by ear." 

Lily smiled, craning her neck up and kissing him quickly. "Fifteen years of hell… It's over. By tonight, we'll know." 

"For better or for worse." Severus smiled, kissing her back. "The worst that can happen is they're Remus', and the man deserves some good in his life. Micah's turning out to be quite the brat." 

"Definitely Narcissa's daughter." Lily grinned, pulling herself up and sitting on Severus' legs. "Blue eyed, blonde haired beauty – and she knows it." 

"Too bad her and Kaylee aren't the same age," Severus shook his head, "They would have gotten along well." 

Lily gasped and laughed, smacking Severus' arm. "She got that from your side of the family." 

Severus nodded agreeing with her, "More than likely."   


  
**__**

**_(And if you didn't read the author's note, get your butt back up there and read it.)_**


	97. Impossible

snape97 I find random places to stop the chapter at... so sorry. :o) It's raining here, yay! O... and not to sound stupid or needy or anything, but is there any way you guys could make sure I get 1,000 reviews before I end the story? Please? If it comes down to it, I'll probably end up not posting chapter 100 still I get something like 985... God, that sounds so stupid and childish... but please? Thanks guys :o) Enjoy.   
Aimee   
  


**_As surely as the sun rises each day_**   
**_So my love will never change_**   
**_And though the years my come and go_**   
**_My love will only grow and grow_**   
**_Sometimes I wonder what you see in me_**   
**_'Cause I'm only a man flawed in so many ways you see_**   
**_I want to share every moment of the day with you_**   
**_And I want to share every sunset and every sunrise_**   
**_And every moonlit night *_**   
  


Harry and Draco arrived fifteen minutes later in the living room, both looking exhausted. Just as they Apparated in, there was a knock on the front door, then the sound of the heavy wood being pushed open. 

"Mum, Dad! We're home!" came Glory's shouts. Harry and Draco exchanged looks, then made a beeline to the foyer where the twelve year old was standing with Remus by her side. 

"Dad!" Draco exclaimed, a grin on his face. Remus smiled back and enveloped his son in a hug. He had legally adopted Draco many years before, replacing Lucius as his father. 

"Hey Glor," Harry smiled down at his youngest sibling. 

Severus and Lily chose that moment to come down the stairs, Lily looking at Remus with as much caution as Harry had seen her give him in the years they didn't speak to one another. 

"Remus, Harry, Draco, Glor, you're all here." Severus welcomed just as two sets of pounding footsteps could be heard rumbling down the corridor. Moments later, Castor and Pollux came into view, both grinning at the sight of Harry and Draco. 

"Hey you two." Harry laughed as the twins fought their way down the stairs to greet Harry and Draco. 

"Everyone," Lily started, "Excluding Draco and Glory – I'm sorry – we need to speak to you." 

Harry gave his mother a curious look, then something seemed to flicker in his mind. 

"Mum, this doesn't have to do with…?" He glanced over at Remus, then over to Castor and Pollux, blinking. 

Lily nodded slightly, "Yes, it does." 

Harry sighed, "Draco knows." 

Severus shook his head, motioning for everyone to follow him. "Did you tell everyone, Harry?" 

"No, he didn't." Remus interjected, "I told him." 

As the group reached the living room, Severus instructed Glory to go up to her room, leaving them alone – the five that knew and the two that were about to find out. 

_How are we going to start this?_

_ I'm not sure, love._

_ Can I give him… please?_

_ The Gift, Lily? Why?_

_ It would make things so much easier._

Severus looked over at Remus, who was sitting next to Draco and looking fairly perplexed. Turning back towards his wife, he nodded. 

Lily got up and walked over towards Remus. Leaning down over him, she put her lips close to his ear and spoke in a whisper. 

"Just for now… Concentrate on Severus and I." 

Remus looked startled, but before he had time to act, Lily leaned over once more and kissed him softly. 

It was quick, but grabbed the attention of the whole room. A moment later, she let up and nodded towards him. Turning around, she smiled faintly and took her place next to Severus. 

Remus shook his head for a moment, then looked up at the couple in front of him and smirked. 

_How can you two stand this?_

Lily laughed, then replied. 

_Many years, Remus. Now… How do we start this?_

_ I'm not sure… do you want to? I think the twins would take it better if it was from you._

_ Yes, they probably would._ Severus interjected, looking over at Lily. I>Or would you like me to start, being as how I didn't have much of a part?/I> 

Lily shot a warning look at him, then nodded. 

"You guys are crazy." Harry shook his head, starring. Draco shot a startled look at him, then back at their parents. 

"What exactly was that?" 

"Nothing, Draco." Remus smiled slightly, looking at his son. "Severus?" 

Severus cleared his throat, leaning forward a bit and looking at the twins. "Castor, Pollux, your mother, Remus, and I… we're going to tell you something, and it's incredibly important you don't freak out. Understand?" 

Castor looked stunned, but nodded slowly. Pollux followed suit a moment later, his blue eyes darting from his mother to his father and back again. 

"In December of 1994, your mother and Remus –" Severus started, eyes darting over to Lily. 

"We were best friends." Lily said quietly, looking down at her hands. "Before we go any further, you two have to know something. Your father and I can read minds – it was a Gift given to him from Voldemort, and he gave it to me." 

Severus nodded, "Yes. Along with reading minds, the power includes controlling them – bending them to your every want and need. Back in '94, Lily – your mother, didn't know about this." 

"This is incredibly difficult to tell you," Lily sighed, eyes locked on her hands, "Seeing as how so many things are left unanswered." 

"I came back on the 27th, from taking Harry to Godric's Hollow." Severus closed his eyes, picturing the memory in his head. "I –" 

"Severus had caught your mother and I in bed together." Remus said hoarsely, his own mind wheeling at the memory. 

"I had made him," Lily said softly, "I didn't know it at the time, and Remus thought for years he was acting of his own free will – which he wasn't." 

Pollux's eyes had widened greatly, and he sat up immediately. Blue eyes flashing, realization hit him before anyone else could say anything else. Eyes darting from Lily to Severus back to Lily once more, he slowly got up and walked over to Remus, looking him in the eyes. 

His expression went from realization to shock, his face paling. Backing away slowly to the couch he, Castor, and Harry were sharing, he shook his head furiously. 

"No," He said firmly, "Impossible." 

Castor was looking alarmed and he stood up to stand next to his twin. "What's impossible?" 

"Look at his eyes." Pollux's voice shook a bit. "I thought they were amber… they're not." 

Castor peered over at Remus, then jumped back immediately. "They're blue… like yours." 

Pollux shook his head once more, "Tell me this is not happening." Turning over to Severus once more, he looked at his father with pleading eyes. "Please… Dad?" 

Castor backed away numbly, sitting back down next to Harry who embraced him. Pollux was left standing alone, his eyes still wide with fear. 

Severus sighed, "We don't know. We haven't known… for years. Never have." 

"Everyone else has either green or black eyes." Pollux said, his voice shaking. "Why do I have blue?" 

"My great-great-great grandfather, Albus Dumbledore, had blue eyes." Lily said quietly, "My sister has blue eyes." 

"No one else has them!" Pollux exclaimed, still shaking his head. "Ethan, Kaylee, Glory – black. Castor, Harry, Dea, Drake, Dakota – _all green._" 

"Severus isn't my father." Harry said quietly. "A man named James Potter was." 

Both Castor and Pollux gaped at him. "What?" 

"Severus isn't my biological father." Harry repeated, looking at Severus with an apologetic look. "A man named James Potter was." 

Castor finally spoke, his voice wobbling as much as Pollux's. "Potter… Harry… _You're_ Harry Potter?" 

"The only known survivor of the Avada Kedavra curse." Draco said, his eyes focused on Harry. 

"But – " Pollux started, getting cut off by Harry. 

"I didn't know until I started Hogwarts. Severus adopted me immediately after James died and I took up his last name." 

"This is the second time something like this has happened." Lily said, "With Harry – I didn't know until my Papa told me. He – being Albus Dumbledore – knew and decided to tell me, in case I had died at Voldemort's hands. I didn't, obviously." 

"Your mother and I were married in our seventh year, after she miscarried a baby." Severus said quietly. 

"I didn't miscarry her, Voldemort killed her." Lily said darkly, shaking her head. "Afterwards, we staged a break up – if we hadn't, we would have been killed. I married a man named James Potter and two years later, had Harry." 

"I was in the same boat you two are in," Harry shook his head, "Believe me. Scary as all he-" 

"Harry." Severus said in a warning tone. "Language." 

Harry smirked, then nodded. "Anyway… go on." 

Pollux sighed, sitting down next to his twin. "Castor has black hair though." 

"My mother's side of the family all have black hair." Remus sighed, as if he wished he didn't have to tell him that. 

"Why are your eyes amber?" Castor asked suddenly. "And Mum… you have amber eyes a lot too, but sometimes they're green." 

"Yes," Lily nodded, "Because we're both werewolves." 

Castor's jaw dropped and Pollux just groaned, "God, enough with the surprises already." 

Severus, Draco, and Harry laughed at this comment. Lily and Remus, however, shook their heads in unison. 

"I was bitten while I was pregnant with you two," Lily smirked, "Had you two been born on the full moon, you would also be werewolves." 

At this, Castor snorted and Pollux forced a grin. "My God." 

"So… why are you telling this to us?" Castor asked, cocking his head slightly. 

"Minerva McGonagall –" Lily started before she was interrupted. 

"The Headmaster?" Pollux said in awe. 

"Yes, we're friends." Severus said, "She sent us two letters today, one from her explaining the second one –" 

"Which is from Albus Dumbledore, my Papa." Lily said quietly. "He was the only one that knew." 

"Minerva informed us that it contains the answer." Severus kept on, "We haven't opened it yet." 

_ You – the answer? Really?_

_ Yes, Remus._ Severus answered, _Shall we open it before or after dinner?_

_ After._ Lily answered, "I'm hungry." 

Harry, Draco, and the twins shot her a strange look. Shrugging, she got up and walked into the dining room. With a flick of her wand, the table was covered with as much food as it could hold. 

"GLORY!" Severus bellowed, "DINNER!"   
  
  
  
  
  


**_Just lay down_**   
**_And let your worries sleep_**   
**_Don't think now_**   
**_The water is dark and deep_**

**_'Cause you know that I love you_**   
**_And never let go_**   
**_And you know_**   
**_That I'll love you forever_**   
**_I'll love you and never let go_**   
**_Yes I'll love you and never let go_**

**_Just cry out_**   
**_Yeah I've cried those tears before_**   
**_I can feel it now_**   
**_As your teardrops hit the floor_**

**_'Cause you know_**   
**_That I love you and never let go_**   
**_And you know_**   
**_That I'll love you forever_**   
**_I'll love you and never let go_**   
**_Yes I love you and never let go_**

**_You don't have to ask me do I love you_**   
**_As I hold you it shows how much I do_**   
**_I'm yours until forever is through_**   
**_Anytime I stand for you_**   
**_I know I'd lay my life down for you_**

**_I'll never let_**   
**_Not ever let go**_**

**_*As Surely As The Sun,_**   
**_**Never Let Go,_**   
**_-Hanson-_**   



	98. Two Steps Behind

snape98 Yes, I am aware this is one of the shortest chapters I've posted in a long time... So sorry about that. It serves it purpose, which you'll see in chapter 100 (which I have decided to make a chapter instead of one long boring author's note). And - I'm at 1,022 reviews!! Good Lord I love you guys!! *hugs to you all* Thank you so much!! I was giddy with excitement when I saw... You have no idea. :o) I dyed my hair black today... looks much more natural than the red I dyed it a while ago... o well. :o) Enjoy this seriously short chapter.   
Aimee   
  
  


Dinner was extremely tense; both of the twins didn't speak much at all, while Lily and Remus completely avoided each other's gaze. Glory had no idea what was going on – she chatted merrily, as if all was right with the world. 

Everyone ate so hurriedly Lily was willing to bet at least two of them would get sick before midnight. In less than 45 minutes, the group was done and watching Lily and Severus expectantly.__

_ I think this is your cue, love.___

_ Me? Why me?___

_ Because… I don't know.___

_ Come with me, please Sev?___

_ If you insist._

Lily and Severus stood up as one, then made their way up to the Master Bedroom, where both of the letters were stored. Taking it with shaking hands, Lily opened it carefully and closed her eyes tightly. 

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sev?" she asked quietly, opening her eyes and looking up at her husband. 

He looked back down at her and slowly took the letter from her, folding it shut once more and placing it on the table beside the bed. "The question is, love, do you want to?" 

Lily sighed and buried her head in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for what seemed like hours, until Severus could hear her crying softly. 

"It's going to be all right…" he whispered. "Do you want to do this?" 

"I'm so, so afraid of hurting you…" Lily sobbed, "And I know if they turned out to be Remus', you'll be crushed, and I love you so, so much, I couldn't stand to see that happen…" 

Severus started rubbing her back gently, closing his eyes and sighing. "I understand it's out of your control, Lily. It's already happened… no amount of wishing and praying is going to change it. I want to know, but I also understand it could be a great danger to the family if I'm not." 

"What are we going to do if it is him?" Lily asked quietly. 

"Live it out." Severus answered, "The twins – we raised them. If he is the father, Remus deserves a chance at getting to really know them. They say blood's thicker than water, but I don't believe that to be true at the moment." 

"God, I wish…" she started, then failed to speak. 

"I know you still love him, Lily." Said Severus softly, "We both know that." 

"You'll always be first." Lily sighed, kissing his neck. "No matter what happens… I'll love you with all of my heart. Remus may own part of it, but you have it all. You're my husband… no one could ever replace you." 

"But you still want to have some sort of a relationship with Remus." Severus said softly. It wasn't a question. "If you knew I'd be perfectly fine and not hurt in the slightest, you'd bed him." 

Lily closed her eyes and breathed in her husband's scent. "Yes, I would. But I know it'd hurt you, and I'd never do anything intentionally to hurt you." 

"If it made you happy, even for a moment, I'd want you to." Severus said, his voice barely audible. 

"It would." Lily whispered, clutching Severus' warm body. "If only there was a way to be with you both… I'd be the happiest person alive." 

"If you were the happiest person alive, I would be the second." Severus kissed her forehead gently, closing his eyes once more as he held her. "Do you want to know?" 

Lily sighed, then nodded. Before Severus could reach for the letter once more, she kissed him hard and seized his wrist in her own small hand. 

"Us, him. I want to." 

Severus looked only slightly surprised for a moment, then slowly nodded. He had thought about it before; knowing it would make his wife happy, he was willing. 

"Shall I read it?" he asked, black eyes meeting green. Lily nodded once more, knuckles white. 

Severus slowly opened the piece of parchment, blinking before he started to read the fifteen year old handwriting. The tension was so think, Lily was sure she could cut it with a knife if she wanted to. She closed her eyes as Severus' voice washed over her, and showed no expression when her grandfather finally revealed the name of the twins' father. 

He finished the letter, his face almost expressionless. The single glimmer of – something, perhaps love, was shining through his eyes as he spoke. 

"Are you sure, love?" 

"I need to." Lily said quietly, not meeting his eye. "Please?" 

"Ok." Severus nodded, wrapping his arms around her shoulders once more. "Would you like to go down and tell them now?" 

Lily nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes." 

"Come on, love." Severus led her out of the room, down the hall and staircase, finally into the sitting room where everyone was once again sitting, the tension in the room mounting as Pollux and Castor eyed Remus warily. 

It had begun.   


  
__   
__   
__   
__

**_Walk away if you want to_**   
**_It's ok, if you need to_**   
**_You can run, but you can never hide_**   
**_From the shadow that's creeping up beside you_**   
**_There's a magic running through your soul_**   
**_But you can't have it all_****__**

**_(Whatever you do)_**   
**_I'll be two steps behind you_**   
**_(Wherever you go)_**   
**_And I'll be there to remind you_**   
**_That it only takes a minute of your precious time_**   
**_To turn around and I'll be two steps behind._****__**

**_Take the time_**   
**_To think about it_**   
**_Walk the line, you know you just can't fight it_**   
**_Take a look around and see what you can find_**   
**_Like the fire that's burning up inside me,_**   
**_There's a magic running through your soul_**   
**_But you can't have it all_****__**

**_(Whatever you do)_**   
**_I'll be two steps behind you_**   
**_(Wherever you go)_**   
**_And I'll be there to remind you_**   
**_That it only takes a minute of your precious time_**   
**_To turn around and I'll be two steps behind._****__**

**_There's a magic running through your soul_**   
**_But you, you can't have it all_**   
**_(Whatever you do)_**   
**_I'll be two steps behind you_**   
**_(Wherever you go)_**   
**_And I'll be there to remind you_**   
**_That it only takes a minute of your precious time_**   
**_To turn around and I'll be two steps behind._****__**

**_Two steps behind ...*_**   
**_*Def Leppard, Two Steps Behind_**


	99. As One

snape99 Haha... ff.net took a break, it looks like. O well, gave me more time to write. Well... you finally find out. YAY! And something else happens which I'm sure is going to boggle people's minds... and go "why??". There WILL be a chapter 100, so IT'S NOT DONE YET! One more, along with a longass A/N... I just put the R rating to work... well, partially. It's not too bad, but some people might find it offensive... I'm not sorry, so... It's there to start the sequel. :o) O, and if you guys haven't figured this out yet... if you leave your email address in your review, I WRITE BACK!! *gasp* Seriously, I do, all of the reviews just about, if there's something to reply to about. :o) I'm a nice person... most of the time. So, if you think it's a waste of time, IT'S NOT! I carry on an actual conversation. yay :o) Enjoy... and don't kill me.   
Aimee   


Looking Remus in the eyes – that had to be the hardest thing she had ever done. Hands shaking slightly, she looked over at her three sons and sighed. 

"Are you sure you want to know? It could be the difference between – everything." Severus said, his voice even. 

Remus' eyes widened and he looked fearful. 

_You'd only say that if…_

_ If what, Remus?_

_ If…_

_ I don't know what Pollux and Castor want. For all I know, Pollux might absolutely adore the idea of you being Dad._

_ He doesn't, I'm sure._

_ How can you be? Human emotions are a funny thing._

_ Severus… I would die of shock if either of them could even fathom the idea._

_ Yes, as would I._

_ When are you going to tell them?_

_ Right now, if they wish._

Both Castor and Pollux nodded, Pollux rocking back and forth slightly. 

"I suppose it really doesn't matter." Castor shrugged, looking from Severus to Remus. "I mean, it's be weird, but not all that different." 

All three adults nodded at the same time. "This is what it all boils down to." Lily said quietly, holding up an old piece of parchment. "This letter, given to me by your Headmistress, written by my grandfather." 

Both Castor and Pollux eyed it suspiciously. "How did he know?" 

"He was the greatest wizard of all times." Severus said, "He knew damn near everything there was to know about – well, everything." 

"Not true," Lily shook her head, "He didn't know everything… but he knew more than any other human walking the planet, Muggle or Wizard." 

"So he knew about this?" Castor asked, waving his hand in the general direction of his parents. 

"He knew about you even before I did." Lily laughed slightly, her nervousness finally getting to her. "Well, I had an idea, but I wasn't sure in the least." 

"Are you sure you want to know?" Severus asked once more, "Do you feel as if you'd be crushed if it went one way or the other?" 

"No," Pollux said quietly, looking down at his hands then raising his blue eyes to meet Severus' black once. "We want to know." 

Lily nodded and then looked over at Remus. "We decided to tell you guys separately. Is that ok?" 

Remus nodded just as the twins shrugged. Lily then stood up and beckoned Remus to follow her. 

As the two left the room, Severus leaned forward a bit and grinned broadly. "Well, I guess it looks like you two aren't going to be able to get rid of me all that soon." 

Pollux's eyes widened as his father's words sunk in. He immediately grabbed Castor's arm and pulled him up, then dragged his twin over to Severus, who met him with a hug. 

"Thank God!" Pollux murmured, clutching Severus as if he were a three year old. 

"You mean…?" Harry suddenly asked, looking only mildly shocked. Severus nodded once more, and Harry grinned, then jumped in to join their embrace. 

Draco shifted around for a moment, looking fairly uncomfortable, before Severus spoke again. 

"You too, Draco. You're family as well." 

Draco grinned and went up, wrapping his arms more around Harry than the rest of them. Looking over at his best friend with green eyes, Harry grinned once more and pulled his left arm out from between the twins, putting it around Draco's shoulders as Draco nuzzled his neck slightly.   
  


Lily led Remus up the stairs, almost wishing she had let Severus tell him. She wasn't sure if he would be disappointed or happy, and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know. 

Opening the door to the master bedroom triggered a series of flashbacks for both Lily and Remus; both had remembered the night, nearly sixteen years before, that had set a rift in the friendship for much more time than should have been allowed. Both remembered the feelings they had when she had been bitten; both remembered the emotions that had run high when Lily nearly died giving birth to the twins Remus was terrified he had given her. 

Lily closed the door behind her and sat down on one of the armchairs, beckoning for Remus to do the same. He did, but immediately looked around, painfully aware of Lily's eyes on his body. 

"Are you sure you want to know?" Lily asked, her voice fairly even. Remus nodded, looking at her with an expression she had only seen once before on his face. 

"It'll kill me if you don't tell me." Remus answered softly, eyes bearing into Lily's. 

"Which would you rather it be?" Lily asked, "Would you rather have Severus as the father, or yourself?" 

"Severus." Remus answered without a moment's hesitation. "It would absolutely kill me to know I helped you make something that could possibly destroy your marriage." 

Lily shook her head, "Severus and I both agree before we opened the letter that it wouldn't matter. He had raised them, and if they were yours, it would be up to both you and the twins to decide the course of action." 

"And?" Remus asked, hands trembling. 

Lily shook her head, "You have nothing to worry about. Papa just made Severus the happiest man in the world." 

Remus sighed with relief, eyes rolling into the back of his head slightly. "Thank you God." 

Lily allowed the man in front of her to sit blissfully for a moment before speaking again. "Do you love me?" 

Remus sat up abruptly at this question. As he saw the honesty in her eyes, he nodded slowly. 

"Yes. I never stopped." 

Lily smiled once more, then leaned forward until she was less than six inches away from his face. "Do you want me?" 

Remus blinked at the blunt question, but once again, he nodded. "Yes." 

Lily leaned forward once more, stealing the space that had been between them. Kissing him softly, she allowed her lips to linger on his for a moment before speaking. 

"Severus and I made a deal." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. "He got the twins – you, if you want, get me." 

Remus' eyes widened in surprise. "Pardon?" 

"As many times as you feel you need." Lily continued, eyes still connected with Remus'. "We both know we love each other. What I realized today was that it's entirely possible to love two people at the same time, equally as much." 

She kissed him once more, watching as his body visibly relaxed. "If you don't want to, I understand. However, we both know we want, and even perhaps need this." 

Before she could speak another word, Remus silenced her with another kiss. This one lasted far longer than the others, and it was so intense Remus didn't hear the door open and shut, nor did he hear the locking spell whispered quietly. 

He did, however, notice when Lily coaxed him to stand up as she started to undo the buttons of his robes. He also noticed when a pair of arms wrapped around Lily's midsection, their hands touching his own stomach lightly, as his and Lily's bodies were so close together. 

Breaking the kiss and opening his eyes, he started to step back when he saw Severus' form standing behind Lily, who was looking up at Remus as she unbuttoned his robes. 

"Just for tonight." Lily whispered to him as she undid the last button and gently pushed the robes off his shoulders. Her robes were on the ground in a moment as well; Severus had helped her with that. 

Remus didn't have a chance to respond. In less than a second, Lily's lips were once again pressed against his own. He didn't have time to think as her tongue slipped between his own lips, and from that moment on, he lost himself in her. He didn't care that her husband was right behind her, undressing her and himself equally as much as Lily undressed him, nor did he care when Lily turned around and met with Severus, leaving him to work on the spot on her neck Severus had started. 

Nothing seemed to matter anymore; Lily divided her time equally between the two men, and Severus hadn't shown a single sign of jealousy. The three of them, in fact, seemed to be enjoying it. Remus had watched in amazement as husband and wife worked at each other expertly, seeming to know their partner's move before the action had even started. Severus, on the other hand, had watched with amusement as Lily worked her magic on Remus, making him respond to her every move. 

The candles encircling the room suddenly dimmed with a wave of Lily's wand before she set it down one last time, discarding her bra along with it. She was facing Remus at this time, and she immediately recognized his expression – it was the same one Severus had given her so many years ago, the first time they had slept together. 

"Relax." Lily whispered to Remus as she guided both men to the bed. No longer could she tell one man from the other; they were the same.   
**__**   
**__** **__**

**_I want you to want me Jump in let's go_**   
**_I need you to need me Sit back and enjoy the show_**   
**_I'd love you to love me There are miles to go_**   
**_I'm beggin' you to beg me There are miles to go_**

**_I want you to want me This could be the night_**   
**_I need you to need me The only night_**   
**_I'd love you to love me But something you should know_**

**_I'll shine up my old brown shoes I don't want you to want me_**   
**_I'll put on a brand new shirt 'Cause I'll hurt you in the end_**   
**_I'll come home early from work I don't need you to need me_**   
**_If you say that you love me Tonight I'll hold you tight_**   
**_ But I won't come back again_**   
**_Didn't I didn't I didn't I see you cryin' Come back again_**   
**_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'_**   
**_Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin' Don't think it's wrong_**   
**_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin I just need somebody_**   
**_ And life goes on_**   
**_I want you to want me And life goes on_**   
**_I need you to need me_**   
**_I'd love you to love me Stay with me tonight, this only night_**   
**_I'm beggin' you to beg me Don't forget you know_**

**_I'll shine up my old brown shoes I don't want you to want me_**   
**_I'll put on a brand new shirt 'Cause I'll hurt you in the end_**   
**_I'll come home early from work I don't need you to need me tonight I'll hold you tight_**   
**_If you say that you love me But I won't come back again_**

**_Didn't I, didn't I, Stay with me tonight, this only night_**   
**_Didn't I see you cryin' Don't forget you know_**   
**_Didn't I didn't I, didn't I see you cryin I don't want you to want me_**   
**_Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin' Cause I'll hurt you in the end_**   
**_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin_**   
**_ I don't need you to need me_**   
**_I want you to want me Tonight I'll hold you tight_**   
**_I need you to need me But I won't come back again_**   
**_I'd love you to love me Come back again_**   
**_I'm beggin' you to beg me_**   
**_ Yeah well I don't need you to need me_**   
**_I want you to want me Tonight I'll hold you tight_**   
**_I want you to want me...* But I won't come back again...**_**

**_*I Want You To Want Me, Cheap Trick **I Don't Want You To Want Me, The Moffatts_**   
  
  
  
  


**(That took forever... :o) )**   


  
  



	100. Simply Unreal (More Than That)

snape100 I woke up the next morning to the sounds of the birds chirping and the feeling of hot breath on my cheek. Opening my eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the bright sunlight streaming through the windows, I saw a strangely familiar pair of eyes starring back at me. It took me a moment to realize they weren't mine – instead, they were Remus'. 

The events of the night previous came rushing back to me as I registered the fact there were two bodies in bed with me – one, as it had been for the past thirty-five years, another for only the second time. Both were equally as welcome as the other. 

"Good morning." I said as quietly as I could, watching his lips form the same words. As he did, I set my left hand over the one that was resting on my hip gently – Severus'. 

_Morning, Sev. Awake yet?_

_ I am now, love… And Remus?_

_ Yes. I took it from him last night, so this is private._

_ Enjoy yourself?_

_ That was the strangest and kinkiest thing I've ever done._

_ I'll take that as a yes…_

_ Besides a few other choice times, this was the best._

_ So, love, who's better?_

I snorted at the question. Smiling over at Remus and choosing to simply shrug at his curious look, I poked Severus in the ribs with my free hand. 

_Remus might be an animal, but you feel like home to me._

_ An animal, love?_

_ Werewolf, Sev. It was almost instinctual with him, I can't quite explain it. Being of the same creature and all, of course, but with you – I couldn't ask for anything better._

_ Even chocolate?_

_ You're ten times better than chocolate_

_ Stealing my lines now, are you, love?_

_ Me? Never, what on Earth gave you that idea?_

_ Nothing just a brief sense of déjà vu. And the fact I've said that many times…_

_ Are you mad?_

_ Of course not, love. I don't mind sharing you – only once, mind you – if it makes you happy._

_ It did… Thank you, Sev, I love you._

_ I know you do, Lil. I love you too._

I smiled in spite of myself, bringing my left hand up to brush it against Remus' cheek. He returned my smile, content with the silence hanging between us. 

_I owe you one, Sev._

_ Indeed you do, Lil. I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me, however._

_ Did you enjoy it?_

_ The look on Remus' face was priceless._

_ Yes, it was. It was also identical to the one you gave me our first time._

_ You mean way back in the summer of '77?_

_ Yes, I do… It's been such a long time._

_ Things have definitely changed…_

_ They have indeed… I wonder what would have happened if I had died that night?_

_ I don't even want to think about it, love._

_ None of the children would be alive –_

_ Or would have ever existed._

_ Yes… It's so hard sometimes, thinking about what Harry would have been like without family… Who would he have grown up with?_

_ Sirius, remember? He was the person you set up._

_ Yes, but everyone thought Sirius was our secret keeper, remember? I had to testify in front of the court and everything._

_ True, love… It wouldn't have been me, I don't have any blood relation to him. Perhaps your Papa?_

_ No, he was too old to take care of an infant._

_ Remus?_

_ A werewolf. My sister, maybe… Although I could never see Petunia accepting one of 'our kind' under her roof._

_ I highly doubt it, love. Let's not think of that right now, ok?_

_ Ok Sev, I'm sorry._

_ You have nothing to be sorry for, Lil._

_ It's been a long time coming…_

_ It sure has._

_ Things are so different now… how did we end up here?_

_ I'm not sure, to be honest. Life's thrown us quite a few curves, hasn't it?_

_ We beat them._

_ Yes, we did… A few nights here, a few births there, and we have nine beautiful children._

_ There's still time for more._

_ Lily, love, nine's quite enough. Glory's already twelve._

_ It should have been ten…_

_ If it had been ten, Harry would have never been born._

_ A child for a child…_

_ Unfortunately, love. But, it turned out ok in the end, didn't it?_

_ Considering there's three of us in this bed? I'd say so._

_ Only for you, Lil._

_ I bet that's one of the first times in recorded history two werewolves –_

_ Don't even say it._

I smiled inwardly as Severus wrapped his arms around me, eyes still closed, scooting himself forward slightly so his bare chest was pressed against my back. I melted into him, and then sighed as Remus kissed my forehead. 

It was unreal. For so long, I had allowed myself to dream of this – a perfect life, surrounded by the two men I loved. I closed my eyes once more, happiness bubbling inside of me. 

On my right was my best friend, the man who had brought as much light to my life as darkness. On one hand, he had been with me throughout all the troubles I had experienced – the abuse with James, the breakup, the baby… the loss of the baby, my recovery, the secret marriage. He knew about it all, even more than I knew, perhaps. He had always been there for me, even when I wasn't there for him. 

The hard times… When he and I had slept together for the first time, when I was bitten… when I was pregnant… when I almost died giving birth to twins we had believed to be his… 

I hadn't wanted them to be his, to be perfectly honest. I had prayed every night for them to be Severus', not because I thought Remus would make a bad father, but because I didn't want my already rocky friendship with him collapsing, or perhaps having my marriage torn apart. But – I had also been convinced they were his. Pollux's eyes, perhaps, was the reason behind this; I wasn't sure. 

God, how I had been relieved when I read that Severus was their father… I had been so happy, it was indescribable. My life was now perfect… he was in it. 

On my left lay my husband of thirty-five years. I had loved him with every piece of my heart for so long, it seemed as if I had never experienced life without him. Perhaps that was true – maybe my life began the moment he appeared, maybe it'll end the moment he's gone. I never want to think of that, though… As far as I'm considered, we're living forever. 

We have nine children… Either way you look at it, it would have been nine. Blood never mattered with us. I have Gryffindor blood, am Muggle-born, and related to one of the main fighters against the Dark Arts. He's a Slytherin straight from a pureblood family, a former Death Eater… but he risked everything he had, including his family and life, to be with me. I owed him everything from day one… He took me away from James Potter, he made sure Harry was as loved and cared about as any one of his other children. He loved me. 

Perhaps it were our differences that made up the Perfect Couple… Together, we were unbreakable. Perhaps it was because of our history and our love for each other that made us stick together all these years… Through all the turmoil we had been through, we had stuck together. We had only spent one night apart by choice – forced by our fights instead of our careers, or even life. I had never left her unless it was unavoidable… the only time we had willingly left each other was the one time we needed each other the most. 

No matter what happened in life, I knew Severus would always be there for me, and I for him. We had taken care of each other… Nothing had gotten in our way. We both knew what we needed and we got it, battling everything – and everyone – who dared to get in our way. 

No one expected us to last. Our relationship was started on a dare, if anything. James – I owe it all to him. If it hadn't been for his plan, for his scheme to try to destroy Severus Snape – where would we be now? We were complete opposites… We had nothing in common… Over time, we developed the love for each other we still have today. If it hadn't been for that… We would have never connected. 

Perhaps that's why we were the Least Likely of All.   
  
  
  


*** 

181 pages, Microsoft Word, 10 Times New Roman font. 130,456 words. 604,463 characters... no spaces. 729,813 characters with spaces. 5,929 paragraphs. 10,051 lines, and 100 chapters. 

The Least Likely Of All - my baby for the past two months and eleven days. That's ten weeks and three days, or 73 days total. I've given you guys over a chapter a day - I believe in one weekend, I gave you ten chapters. At this moment, on July 31st, 2001 at 11:26 PM EST, I had 1062 reviews. 

WOW. 

You guys have no idea how grateful I am. You - the reader - have been absolutely wonderful throughout it all. Without your support, I would have never made it this far... Never at all. I would have crashed and burned within the first twenty chapters, hands down. Thank you for everything you guys have done - especially to those I've been in contact with throughout the whole writing process. To be completely honest, I think I know a total of two names, if even that... I know you guys by email addresses and screen names, so I'm not sure how I'd write a thank you list. 

This story's dedicated to all you guys... Reviewer or not, if you've gotten this far, read this many chapters and pages of worthless plot, you deserve it. I know it's too long, and I probably will end up reducing the chapter sizes once I actually edit the damn thing, I'll post it under a different story though - I don't want to mess up all of your reviews and comments. 

Speaking of, I will be writing a spin off of this, concentrating mainly on Draco's and Harry's relationship. It will be slash, obviously, but it will also have a different perspective on things. Feel free to read it... I already have the first chapter written (although it's terrible and I'm going to have to go back and edit the hell out of it). 

In this story, I've covered Lily/James, Lily/Severus, Lily/Remus, Remus/Narcissa, Harry/Hermione, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Draco, Draco/Pansy, Draco/Blaise, Severus/Lily/Remus... Am I missing anyone? That's ten pairings and eleven people... *laughs evily* I'm crazy. Sorry if any of those couples have offended any of you... Especially the Draco/Harry one, which personally is my favorite couple to write. Go figure? 

It's been more of a soap opera than a story... I'm quite aware of that. However, that's what I do best - write soap opera plots. :o) It doesn't matter if you're a good writer or not... If the drive, want, and love is there, I say go for it. Personally, I didn't allow anyone I know to read this story. A few people know about it, but my father will never read this... My best friend is supposed to, but she probably won't for a good few months, if ever. Anyone else I've told about this hasn't got the faintest idea what it's about... and I'd like to keep it that way. :o) 

This story took me through three dye jobs (brown originally, then a different shade, red, and now black). Strange, eh? 

Some people have asked me how I came up with this plot... Easy. Music. I fall asleep listening to the radio when I take naps, and I always try to get a story idea from the songs I hear. This particular one... you'll laugh, but it's true. The lyrics fit almost perfectly, and I'm proud to say I have never used it as a last song. Here it is - the inspiration behind it all. 

**_I can see that you've been cryin'_**   
**_You can't hide it with a lie_**   
**_What's the use in you denyin'_**   
**_ That what you have is wrong_**   
**_ I heard him promise you forever_**   
**_ But forever's come and gone_**   
**_ Baby he would say whatever_**   
**_It takes to keep you blind_**   
**_To the truth between the lines_**

**_Oh I will love you more than that_**   
**_I won't say the words_**   
**_Then take them back_**   
**_Don't give loneliness a chance_**   
**_Baby listen to me when I say_**   
**_I will love you more than that_**

**_Baby you deserve much better_**   
**_What's the use in holding on_**   
**_Don't you see it's now or never_**   
**_'Cause I just can't be friends_**   
**_Baby knowing in the end_**

**_That I will love you more than that_**   
**_ I won't say the words_**   
**_Then take them back (can't take 'em)_**   
**_Don't give loneliness a chance_**   
**_Baby listen to me when I say (hey)_**

**_There's not a day that passes by_**   
**_I don't wonder why we haven't tried_**   
**_It's not too late to change your mind_**   
**_So take my hand_**   
**_Don't say goodbye_**

**_I will love you more than that_**   
**_I won't say the words_**   
**_Then take them back_**

**_Oh I will love you more than that_**   
**_I won't say the words (no no)_**   
**_Then take them back_**   
**_Don't give loneliness a chance_**   
**_Baby listen to me when I say_**   
**_I will love you more than that_**

**_Oh I will love you more than that (more than that)_**   
**_I won't say the words_**   
**_Then take them back (them back)_**   
**_Don't give loneliness a chance (oh, a chance)_**   
**_Baby listen to me when I say_**   
**_I will love you more than that_**

**_The Backstreet Boys, More Than That._**

Yes, I like that song... shush. 

It didn't take too long... Probably one of the quickest written stories on the site. But good Lord, was it great to come up with ideas that would surprise you guys... I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. Even though getting out a chapter a day was *extremely* hard... :o) If I wasn't a firm beleiver in not crying over this kind of stuff, I'd burst into tears right about now... 

**_Happy 21st Birthday, Harry!_**   
(Hey... he was 11 in 1991! He's not turning 15, he was 15 back in 1995. According to the dates in the books, of course... Therefore, I stand by my statement. He's turning 21, not 15. HE'S LEGAL!) 

And now, onto the sequel. 

~ Aimee, LanaMariah, and any other name you guys know me by.   



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